August 28, 2007

it's dirty and sweet and good nuf to eat

Finally it is here, the video youtube didn't want you to see.

Video thumbnail. Click to play.
increase the pressure

Banned in most wholesome god-fearing communities but not in the open waters of the internet!

Remember this is just a taste, but yeah... it tastes that good. Dont forget my warning, i am activly working at offending you. That may prove to be more difficult than I can accomplish, but I'll try just the same.

Nickey Robo does a pretty good job providing that taste, and maybe even delivering a lump into the back of your throat.

Props to Dan Kaufman of Crank My Chain. Without his technological assistance and cheap wine I don't think we would have made it.

August 23, 2007

Dont let the public lashing get you down

WARNING: This posting has almost nothing to do with bikes at all

Zahra Amir Ebrahimi is an Iranian actress who has been seriously fucked over (either figuratively or figuratively and literally).

So lets say it was actually her in the sex video... and for the sake of argument let us even say that it is a great offense to Allah, that it shakes the moral fiber of all good, humble monotheistic men who watch it. First off, this should be really awesome porn! (as defined by me, good porn is like a good car crash: you dont want to watch, but you can't turn away)

I'm pissed that unlike Paris Hilton Ebrahimi's acting career may have been ruined by porn, but it's kinda nice to know that for all the media/government's attempts to show the video blurred out, that people are still sharing it online.

Tehran’s chief prosecutor, Saeed Mortazavi, wants death sentences for those convicted of circulating such pornography. According to the legal code, sex between two unmarried people carries punishment of up to 99 lashes.

This all sucks for Ebrahimi, but at least the ex-boyfriend (who I expected would only get a slap on the wrist) has been extradited and faces years in prison and fines. That makes me very happy. Fuck slimy dudes with cameras. They make my job suck.

This pornographer is left wondering:
  • Will she someday be thought of as a sexual liberator?
  • Will someone be video taping the public lashings?
  • Could an Asia Minor Bike Tour be far behind?
Clearly she should have just humped that 2 wheeled stud instead.

The trailer that (almost) shook the bearings

I am pleased unable to present the new hotness, a trailer of The Pornography of the Bicycle program by Nickey Robo. She has the honor of being the first video in the series. "Semiotics of the Bicycle"


Perhaps the internertastic Dan Kaufman of Crank My Chain will provide some technical expertise so that our totally mature audience can enjoy Miss Robo's work.

I hear there is a porntube that is kinda like youtube only it is totally commerical and really, not all that different from the other 90% of the internet.

August 22, 2007

Humping the Emerald City

Massive props to our organizers of the screening on September 17th in Seattle. Not only have they arranged to host Bike Porn at the CHAC (scroll down to the date), but they also have made up this sweet poster!

damn that is one hot ride.

Monday, September 17
Doors: 6:30pm
Start: 7:30pm
CHAC Lower Level
1621 - 12th Ave. Seattle. DOWN THE RAMP!
Tickets: $5 at the door

August 21, 2007

it makes the kids go crazy

What is this fascination? Is it the blending of mobility and sensuality? Is it freedom? Independence? Hornyness?

Whatever the cause, bike porn has griped the consciousness of the citizens of Portland, Oregon. These are a people now obsessed. These are people who are determined to travel under their own power, people who are determined to liberate their bodies, people who cross lines ass-first dancing backwards with their pants around their ankles.

It is coming to you sooner than you realize. You can't prevent it. Go about your business.

2 down, 2 to go

We have nearly secured the location of all the theaters on this tour

In Seattle, Leslie and Jryde have arranged for it to show at the Capital Hill Arts Center.
In Bellingham we will play it at the Pickford Theater.

Still waiting on Olympia and Vancouver B.C.