March 31, 2008

Tennessee Dissed, Bullshit Called

[not from the Onion newswire]

A "complete bullshit" was called early this Tuesday morning in relation to The Pornography of the Bicycle not being shown in the state of Tennessee. Jacob Malbro of Richmond VA was explicitly upset at the cancellation of the Nashville, TN show this April 1st. "

Resident and local bike organizer, Joey Jello was similarly overwhelmed by the "perfect shitstorm" that has befallen The Goddamn House, the Nashville venue expected to host The Pornography of the Bicycle.

"Was it some elaborate April Fools Prank, meant to stymie the pro-Bikesexual movement?" Continued Malbro in an overdramatic exasperation with well timed arm failings. "Maybe Tennessee is not ready for Bike Porn."

"Or maybe," the concerned citizen continued, "a massive riot will ensue, the crowd demanding more state sponsored bicycle pornography."

A scientifically insignificant poll of Tennessee residents likely to riot due to bike porn shortages was inconclusive in its findings.

And yet though all these setbacks, still more bike porn is in the works! Just today we were confirmed to play in Denver, Colorado.

Thursday, April 3rd
Derailer Bicycle Collective

411 Lipan St.
Denver, CO 80204

starting at 8:30pm
$5 suggested donation

Report from Chapel Hill: "We establish the Mortal Frame" Adam from St Anthony Hall.

"I hardly saw it, but I thought it was great" said a self-proclaimed female gamer nerd. "The fisting was outstanding."

"I have to go pee first, but then I would love to give an opinion."

"The crowd was very receptive. We try and hold down the overtly sexual and possibly offensive topics."

Thanks to our hosts and all the productive after show conversation that gets to happen.

Nashville or Memphis or Neither?

ACK! The punk house backyard where we had hoped to show The Pornography of the Bicycle in Nashville has apparently imploded!

Are we hosed?

Will Memphis step up? These folk look pretty good:

On the plus side, we may have a space in Denver!

Oh the fast paced action of the bicycle pornographer...

After the Slaughteramma

"What ho! A bike club!!!"

Richmond, VA (RVA) is a pretty amazing place. You have a blend of Art students honing the craft at the highly toted Virgina Commonwealth University, the shadow of the Confederacy in the form of massive statues of General Lee and Stonewall Jackson, the depression of the 80s grinding development to a halt, and tons of fun loving bikers enjoying the cheap rent.

Development and gentrification have come to the Oregon Hill neighborhood of RVA, which two years ago was a verifiable bicycle ghetto, with all sorts of characters drinking on the tightly spaced porches basking in the sun.

Some things have changed, but there is still one bike club in town inspiring others from across the east to rally and display their pride. Bike clubs in Dayton, NYC, Atlanta, Chicago and more all represented .

Portland, Oregon's Zoobomb came, saw, and dropped the competition like it drops its pants. Zoobomb took the only prize for the team oriented competition. Placing in every event except the 6 pack relay (we are only a little embarrassed about this). Solid performances the entire day capped off by a strange award party and news broadcast about the awesomness that has just ended. Conveniently enough their massive 6-ft trophy for 1st place was designed(?) to collapse into a medium sized bag. Im sure the Dropout Bike Club from Portland will take the challenge of reconstructing it without trying to blend steel and aluminum

Here is video of the final bout, a chariot race. Sounds simple right? Right?


We want to thank all the great hosts, and we hope to get kicked out of more parties again someday.

Here is a link with lots of videos.

And now the tour rolls on to Chapel Hill! If the hundreds that turned out in Richmond screaming for more bike porn are any sign of the future the south is more ready for sexy bike culture than many concerned parties realize.

Monday March 31st, 2008
St. Anthony Hall

207 Pittsboro St.
Chapel Hill, NC
8 pm

Come on out and enjoy the sexy bike action tonight!

March 25, 2008

Bringing the "red light" to The District

And just like that, a screening in Washington DC happens is CANCELED!!


Due to an abundence of awesome, sexy people the biker community and other related drunks of our nation's capital have arranged for an emergency screening!

Wednesday, March 26th


2471 18th St NW

Washington, DC

10:00 pm

Thanks and a pornographer's ransom go out to Gwadzilla for kicking our asses and making this happen.

We at Bike Porn Industries are trying like the dick-in-s to get it all secured. Thanks for staying with us.

bulging demonstration

on stage in NYC with a package of sexy info to deliver

thanks to full time documentarian (and part time cell phone photographer), Steev Hise who has been fighting a media war of his own with "On The Edge: The Femicide in Ciudad Juárez"

we are still looking for a venue in DC. Keep your genitals crossed!

Getting Lucky in Philly

sweet serendipity.

biking along south street an hour ago we spotted something different. The brick buildings were suddenly replaced by a living collage of glass bottles and bicycle wheels. Upon further investigation we discovered Philadelphia's Magic Gardens.

We were hungry and tired and hungover, but taking a moment to breathe inside this highly detailed art space was refreshing. Then we met Isaiah Zagar and told him about the program. The next thing we know he has us on the phone with The Theater of the Living Arts hooking us up with a projector!

So Philadelphia, it is on. This is a very special location and we are exceedingly gracious to be hosted here.

Tuesday March 25th
8:45 pm
Magic Gardens
1020 South St
Philadelphia, PA

March 24, 2008

Philly in trouble


A screening Tuesday night is hopeful.


Open Letter to Sexual Repression

Let us take a moment to address the nature of "bad sex". That is not just unwanted sexual activity, but also lame sex. We know that many people suffer disspointment in their sexual endevors. But how are people to learn more about their sexual interests?

Not encouraging appropriate sexual behavior is a most dastardly thing. Those that perpetuate a society of sexual fear are seriously fucking it up for all of us!

Please, help us demonstrate to Philadelphia... help with recognizing the art in our bodies, how they move and how we and bicycles can become connected.

On the on the Hill

this coming monday march 31st a bonus screening!!!

St. Anthony Hall
207 Pittsboro St.
Chapel Hill, NC

"Oh my, what great, big polo you have there..."

NYC conjours up so many astounding memories,

  • The Brooklyn Underground video collective
  • Reverend Billy preaching the Church of Stop Shopping during a Critical Mass
  • All the people who remind you that New York is like no other place on earth
  • Drinking America's Largest Selling Lager Ballentines
And now we have the most efficient polo game I had ever seen.

Seriously, amazing that they are organized to have a stack, and it works.

Does this make you hot? Maybe you should put your pants back on. Im getting uncomfortable.


March 20, 2008

"You want me to put my junk where?"

"Please, please, please bring me porn," they say.

"Our town is small and humble but we love bikes," they say.

"Won't you get nasty in our bottom brackets," they say.

Alas, the Internet can be so cruel.

For all the attempts to get a screening in Boston, Phily or DC nary a venue has stepped up!

Wont someone take us?

As it stands in the North Atlantic cost the only place you can watch The Pornography of the Bicycle is:


@ 7:00 9:00 & 11:00pm

217 East 42nd St
New York City, NY 10017

The responses from cities have been highly varied. A Report from Columbus describes a black fixie with bright pink Drury grips who lamented not having a camera to document all the sexy action that happened after the movies playing. After the screening in Mnpls a fashion show began 4am. In Chicago, a oversexed riot nearly broke out and many audience members felt necessary to relieve themselves.

But every city is different. Just last night we witnessed the quietest screening ever. The tension in PGH was so high that even the comfy chairs of the Shadow Lounge could not overcome the heightened states. "Shocked" is how one person described the audience.

Perhaps bike sexuality will find a home here. Pittsburgh could be the biker's gem. We are excited to do some exploring.

For no particular reason we have had no issues with police to date. Maybe they are more understanding then we realize.

March 16, 2008

It's Hard Ass Steel

Though much harassment and threatening emails we have a venue to screen The Pornography of the Bicycle in Pittsburgh!

This coming Wednesday, March 19th we are gonna see how hard the sexy cyclists can get!


7:00 pm
Shadow Lounge
5972 Baum Boulevard

nibbling your apple

NYC is getting excited for the hotness coming their way; we have more supporters steeping up to make the show even better:

Thanks to Continuum Cycles and Laek House for making our shows even better! Remember kids Cashama is a cozy 80-seat venue so it might be hard to get in. Lucky for you we have an unprecedented three screenings this saturday at 7, 9 and 11pm

What are you gonna bring? Better get your wheels polished.

Flashback February

crap, this actually got us pretty hot.

Mini Bike Winter 2008 montage from millz on Vimeo.
thanks to millz and the Santa Cruz crew for doing it better!

March 14, 2008

seat tube fantasies

Ever caught looking at someone too long? sexy bikers can do that to ya. sexy bikes too. wanting someone else's ride is a dangerous proposition. Consensual bike love is great!

UPDATE: chicago is primed and ready to fuck bikes!

March 12, 2008

Rounding them up on Rawhide!


due to unsatiable demand we are screening The Pornography of the Bicycle at a private residence in Rapid City, TONIGHT!

The Influence-za
2708 Rawhide Drive
Rapid City South Dakota

starting around 8pm

Come on by!

March 10, 2008

You're Twins?!?

Nearly every history of bike culture (and specifically mutant bike culture) includes Minneapolis. It seems about time we introduce ourselves, and what love we are getting! We had almost given up on finding a venue when some local kickass bikers decided to make it happen!

"This Thursday March 13th, for one night only!
Arm Marketing presents, The Pornography of the Bicycle. A series of short films on the theme of Bike Porn. It's cumming on thru it's eastcoast tour here in Mpls.
  • StrongArm Marketing Complex.
  • 117 Washington Ave N. Mpls, MN.
  • $5 at the door.
  • 99 to 100 limited seats.
  • That's this Thursday night.
  • Door at 8pm, Director/Producer intro at 8:15pm.
  • Showtime at 8:30pm.
Scrool down the trailer page here for a short look. We all know cycling, and sex, are some of the best things life offers us. You really do not want to miss this. Spring is coming"

Damn, they make me blush like a republican

Besides showing awesome movies we are educating people on the nature of Free Geek. Come by the Walker Library to learn more about this kickass nonprofit and the people who are starting one in Minneapolis.

Fun fact from Wikipedia: Minneapolis has the fourth highest percent of people who are gay, lesbian or bisexual, with 12.5%, lucky for us zoobombers are so gay.

March 7, 2008

Orgasmic NYC Critical Mass

If you are riding a bike can get off anytime you like. It is part of the freedom inherent in cycling that makes such individualism possible. You jump in and jump out at your discretion.

But what about riding in groups? What about giving up some of your individualism to the will of a larger organism? Is that fun? Is that sexy?

May the Bicycle Jesus bless your ride massers of New York. For all the suffering you have endured there is still a lot of fun to come. The Bike Porn Eastern Swing is showing The Pornography of the Bicycle at a sweet venue in midtown!


@ 7:00 9:00 & 11:00pm

217 East 42nd St
New York City, NY 10017

With 75 seats this is a very intimate venue so we are doing a record breaking three screenings, Saturday, March 22nd @ 7, 9, and 11pm.

Admission is only $6 so expect a packed house.

This screening is being partially sponsored by Babeland, who totally are into bikes and sex.