November 27, 2008

Oakland Delivers the goods!

Huzza! We have found Bike Porn friendly spaces in Oakland! The Lobot Gallery has stepped up to host us this Saturday night.

Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitaiton
Saturday November 29th
Lobot Gallery
1800 Campbell St

Doors at 7pm
Show at 8pm
Polo at 10pm

Bring yer mallets!

(Apologies to the folks at Your House, who would have been fine hosts)

Here is a sweet printable image you can use to harass your prude friends at work. Thanks to, Rock Paper Scissors Collective and Cyclecide for all your help.

Polo in the Bay

Hardcourt bike hockey started in the Pacific Northwest 7-8 years ago. Teams in Portland, Seattle and Vancouver have for much of that time been beating the crap out of each other for fun and bragging rights. A number of breweries have been able to make it though slow economic periods due to our patronage.

From the NW many a sojurn was made to the Bay in seach of similar hardcourt action. Typically the result was good, but not sustained. SF was perpetually the land of old school grass polo.

In 2007 SF hosted the NACCs and many bike punks got a taste of what bike polo can be. Epic games are still discussed in Portland ad nauseam.
Here we see the influence of NW polo.
Now at the end of 2008 both SF and Oakland have regular polo battles, this weekend there are a couple extra.

  • Thursday November 27 -
  • Oakland Polo Rockridge BART. Oakland's regular weekly game every Thursday night.
  • 8pm
  • Saturday November 29
  • Lobot Gallery
  • Special edition INDOOR POLO
  • 10pm (after bike porn screening at 8pm)
  • Sunday November 30
  • Ride SFO bike expo and polo at Cow Palace in SF.
  • Special edition INDOOR POLO
  • 3pm
  • Monday December 1st
  • Every Monday night in the Mission come play
  • Dolores Park
  • Church and 18th
  • 7pm

We heartily encourage you to check for an international discussion of the game's finer points and blunts.

November 26, 2008

who the fuck forgot to title this shit?

This Friday we ride in our first SF Critical Mass. It began in San Francisco years and 2 months ago, since then this simple monthly ride has given urban bikers around the world a chance to feel safe while riding. Being apart from auto traffic means breathing easy; being on a bike means looking good.
  • Black Friday, November 28th
  • Herman Plaza - Market @ Embarcadero
  • 6pm
Later that night we host 100s of sexy bikers, and the premiere of The Loaded Warrior trailer

A post apocalyptic world without gasoline is daunting…
But imagine a world where beer is scarce and only those with most brutal pedal powered machines can attain it…

Meanwhile we are still waiting for our alcohol stimulus package.

After critical mass, come see us at
Roxie Theater
Valencia and 16th

Thanks to the Bike Coalition, Laughing Squid, Cyclecide, Slouch Cycles

Keep us pumped as we roll up the coast

November 25, 2008

get crunk in the bay

whiskey and porn go together like porn and whiskey

come and get some this weekend in the bay

  • San Francisco
  • Black Friday night after Critical Mass 11/28
  • The Roxie
  • 11pm
--------------------- A N D ----------------------------
  • Oakland
  • not associated with any color Saturday 11/29
  • Undisclosed Location
  • 8pm

November 24, 2008

Santa Cruz can go fuck bikes

The sleepy town of Santa Cruz has a rather large estate with a bunch of collective minded folk who are hosting the only screening of bike porn between LA and SF

Tuesday, November 25th
Paul Sweet House

3950 paul sweet rd.
santa cruz ca, 95065

Be ready for indoor footdown, jousting, mutant bikes, bike polo, dance party, visual projections of crazy crap... typical.

Prepare for Santa Cruz

This message of preparation comes from MilzMilz, the Trash Crew member so nice he named himself twice:

You should know that there are lots of bikes for you guys to ride whilst here. you should know that if you by some crazy chance wanted to work on bike of some freaky sort whist you were here we have a grinder and welder on hand. you should know that we will be projecting in a room that fits 100-150 snuggly and i am expecting anywhere from 20-80 people and we are just projecting on a sheet over a window. you should know that i personally really want to play some footdown in that same room afterwards, and if we just move shit out of the way the games can begin. you should know that our property is your playground. you should know that we have jousts, they just happen to be a bit moldy. you should know that for reasons of every sort i havent edited the rest of the slaughterama footage, but when i do it'll be good. you should know that whatever has happened or will happen, life is still good. you should also know that me and kelly have to get out of town on wedensday to get ourselves to san diego to chill with my fam for thanksgivers so we will probibly need to take a bus or catch a ride to san jose around 12 or 1 or so. you should know that we have 82 sweet acres to hike on.
you should bring, you and your friends, you should bring the bike porn movies! if you have last years tucked away somewhere i really want to see those too!!, you should bring chips and salsa, you should bring your hiking shoes. you should bring your wilingness to party. you should bring some ambition to see some of santa cruz, you should bring the energy to stay up all night, you should bring a blunt. you should bring some good stories, you should bring earplugs (perhaps) you should bring the rukus.

P.S. you should bring a 12 pack and some pizza.



So there's our challenge, for people wanting to observe an indoor footdown post-porn dance party be at the Paul Sweet House Tuesday, November 25th

November 21, 2008

From the pit of Hell-A

Just when we had given up on having a screening in Los Angeles, my new favorite Midnight Ridazz Marino steps up to deliver a gem of a location.

Sunday November 23rd
Bholanath Foto Studio & Urban Gallery
6042 Monte Vista St Los Angeles, Ca 90042

Moved to The Bike Oven
3706 North Figueroa St. in Highland Park
Los Angeles, CA 90046
8pm after polo.
If there's enough interest, we'll have another show at 10:30.

View Larger Map

Here is where we think polo is gonna be going down at 2pm on Sunday

Thanks for keeping the fucking bike dream alive:

Ideally our friends Chicken Leather and crew from Kill Radio will join us with some live broadcast action.

November 20, 2008

pulverising non fun

Let us have some rad fucking times

Apparently the Baldy Bomb has been moved. Now it is a Sat night camp out and Sunday bomb.

To find us on friday go to the bike shop by the Gold Student Center

View Larger Map

much thanks to the Velo Cult for hosting us, and all the polo players of San Diego who pulled it together for some late night action.

November 17, 2008

Pitzer College brings home the porn

Unrelated image?

A note to college students trying to convince their academic advisers to pay us to come to your city so that you don't have to (pay us that is).

"Uh, I don't know, it seems cool." Is not gonna cut it. Lucky the folks at Claremont University know what it takes.

"Bikexploitation is a new documentary created by Portland bike activists that explores social themes of exploitation and domination in transportation culture."
Who would dare not support this? Well done Pitzer College students.
Here is the word from our hosts in Claremont:
Friday has become the holy day of bikes at Pitzer, being the day of the sacrament of bike polo and Critical Mass. The ideal schedule under consideration currently is to hold the weekly bike polo game from 3-5 before breaking for dinner. There exists enthusiasm for a naked bike ride from 6-8. This is scheduled to coincide with what we hope will be a special naked bike ride broadcast of poppin' bike tunes from the college radio station. We could strap boomboxes to our backs and synergistically tune in. The bike porn would commence at 8, outside the bike shop.

Pretty sweet. But why stop there? What about naked bike polo?

Whatever we are doing it is happening Friday November, 21st in the sexy burbs southeast of Los Angles.

Now, were are we gonna do this weekend? Midnight Ridazz represent!

Back to the CaliPornication

Yep we are still delivering the goods in the SW. On our way to California!

Our first stop is in in San Diego!
Wednesday, November 19th
Velo Cult
2220 Fern St

11/21 Friday we will be at Clairmont
11/2? Saturday or Sunday we are looking for a place in downtown LA.
11/25 Tuesday in Santa Cruz
11/28 Black Friday in San Francisco
11/29 Saturday in Oakland?
12/2 Tuesday in Arcata
12/4 Thursday in Eugene
12/5 Friday in Corvallis?

happy trails

November 15, 2008

phx polo girls

In Portland we remember a time when girls played polo... they even had their own league for a while. Then their numbers were drained and now we have some of the toughest ladies playing the sport. This weekend we are in Tempe/PHX to see if more sun = more baked clams.

Monday nights at 8:00 at the northwest corner of Dorsey and Southern in Tempe.

So then, our Portland Pork Barrels will face their #1 team for some unquantifiable amount of glory and probably a lot of beer, on the hardcourt no less!

November 10, 2008


Dr Doom raced in the Single Speed Cyclecross World Championships in Portland this weekend:

According to our sources, he got a flat in the first lap and played catchup and drink the rest of the race in order to take home 50th place. This image captures much of the Republic of Doom sentiment.

Rising like Phoenix in the Morning

Avast! Our friends in Phoenix have made a rad flyer!

if you are in Tempe (a tightly defined city surrounded by the endless sprawl of Phoenix) you should investigate the Bike Saviours. Moreover there are more than a few fun things planned for this weekend,

starting with a challenge!

bike polo in Phoenix at 7:30pm on Wednesdays at the Desert Storm park at 16th St. and Colter

November 9, 2008

Davis Bike Church: Get the Fuck Out!

Brothers and sisters, it has come to our attention that the Davis Bike Church, which has been offering education, tools and support to cyclists for several years, has been evicted!

Citing things such as being open to the Davis community-at-large as a liability the UC Davis Student Housing has not given us any possible alternatives, stating only that we need to get out.
- paraphrased statement from the Bike Church Ministers

This is a very disturbing turn of events. Davis, California was the nations first platinum bike city as defined by the American League of Cyclists. It has been a badge that many residents have worn with pride. After this despicable act they may be the first city to ever loose the status as a Platinum Bike City.

lots of bikes

Bike Church represented at 3:40 in this Street Films movie

To contact the UC Davis Student Housing, email Chuck Huneke, Assistant Director of Residential Education


email the the bike church with your support:

November 6, 2008

Tucson has porn

"Tuc Son" That's one way to remember how to spell Tucson.

Thursday, November 6th we are at the Dry River Collective showing Bikexploitation. Then Friday, November 7th we show The Pornography of the Bicycle. Back to back screenings are pretty rare for us, and we are doing it to help celebrate Dry River's 3rd Anniversary of not being shut down by the man.
  • 6pm a costumed bike ride leaving from Dry River
  • 7pm Whiskey Breath Burlesque grinds, sings and cavorts under influences
  • 7:30 The Pornography of the Bicycle
  • 9:15 A grip of bands Logan Greene, XwalrusX, Feel Good Revolution, Redbeard, Cizana
  • 11:30 V for Vendetta
  • If you are too pooped to pop you are encouraged to sleepover!

I hear rumor of a game of capture the gland may break out on Saturday, and closing this weekend is the All Soul's Procession on Sunday.

Quite a weekend, come on down

740 N. Main St. @ University Blvd.

we didn't find the polo game last night, but made contact with them today and are hopeful for some polo action soon, perhaps Monday!

November 5, 2008

A bike polo match!

tommorw we can match wits with the tucson polo team

Tucson Bike Polo is played every Thursday on the UofA mall (East grass area) @6or7pm until we Mob out! (since2003)

lets see what they got!

Filling the Whole Bisbee

Some exciting things about Bisbee, AZ:
  • St. Elmo, the bar we drank and watched the 2008 election results was also the last meeting location of the Monkey Wrench Gang
  • The Bisbee Bicycle Brothel specializes in hand build lugged steel frames made in England in the mid 1900s
  • Some brave bikers went down into one of the world's largest open copper mines late last night.

Just sayin...

a sweet dance party can
break out at any moment

November 4, 2008

working the Bisbee Business

We are out of Texas!

Presently we are on the road West past Warez, Mexico (the home of one of the most terrifying series of unanswered female disappearings and deaths) To Bisbee, AZ where Spooky Tooth Cycles plays host to our sultry cycle program. A added bonus, The Whiskey Breath Burlesque is joining us in this screening (and again on Friday in Tucson)
  • Wed, November 5th
  • Spooky Tooth Cycles
  • One Cochise Row, Bisbee AZ
  • 8pm, donations
Also, they are working on having some naked tall bike jousting beforehand.

Honestly, we are thinking of making them some sort of award for having the best web page pimping the show.

ALSO we hear they play polo Thursday in Tucson. So we are coming ready!

Comon AZ! lets do this up right!

November 2, 2008

On our way out!

Will we find a space to show the goods in Marfa before we leave TX? Or we will attempt the dreaded pull out method?