June 30, 2009

Clinton St Marquee

They do not mince words.

Will we be able to show Bike Porn to the Seattle To Portland people? Stay tuned!

June 26, 2009

jewish bike porn?

Could the crack team of uber-smarmy posters on the Portland Mercury's blog actually be loosing a battle about the nature of hardcore pornography and the World Naked Bike Ride with a Judeophob?

Click here for the latest in commentary about how riding a bike naked is linked to white pride (not that there are a lot of proud, naked white people riding bikes in Portland or anything).

Thanks to Sarah Mirk for her uncovering of the truth about boobs.

June 25, 2009

Japanese foot traffic porn

honestly this is only one step away from being outside our range, but somehow it gets the nod.

How about that music? Feel the lounge-y sample of the Theme song to Superman?

So what do you think? too pedestrian?

June 23, 2009

Cool Down!

Lets hear it for the cinco en junio!

5 bike porn shows at the Clinton
5 thousand in Portland's World Naked Bike Ride meaning you could see
5 limbs dangling from many bikers all over pdx.

After a month like that it seems only fitting that we take a bath or something.

So come and join us in the water! The sexiest bike event outside our pants is happening (July 4th?) just off the I-5 corridor in Central Washington in a place we call: CheHellYES!

Imagine a lot of sun and bikes and water. And explosives, and alcohol. Don't sacrifice your beautiful genitalia! Bring whatever protection you need and come have the time of your life.

June 15, 2009


due to the massive outpouring of support for the show we have decided to overwhelm you with bonus screenings!

Monday June 22nd
Clinton St Theater (SE 26th and Clinton)
7, 9, and 11pm!
$6, 21+

June 13, 2009

Cycle Bound Reactions

Hey there humptastic bike jerks! We need your insightful/obscene thoughts on the show!

Please let us bike porn people know how we can do it better in the comments below!

2 in the can, more in the bush

That's right, last night we murdered two stunned portland audiences.


that's a lot of bodies but thankfully the nice people at the Clinton Street Theater have strong backs. More great movies there all weekend long as part of the Portland Underground Film Festival.

For those who escaped from the show without being murdered please leave a comment about where you are and how you might want to be murdered in the future, and also what you thought of the show. Lets see some dialoge! (get it? 2 way log!)


in case you didn't know tonight is the World Naked Bike Ride. (NO LINK FOR YOU!)

meaning no matter where you are (in the northern hemisphere) you can ride your bike naked and probably convince a few thousand of your new bestest friends to join you.

June 10, 2009

LIVE on the internadical radio!

hey there, if you can view this webpage you can probably watch/listen to us at CrankMyChain Live! right now! some other time.

Catch CrankMyChain Two Way Television every Wednesday at noon!

Vist the Dark Place

This promotional trailer premiered as part of Filmed By Bike.

Only a few days until the world premiere!

June 6, 2009

anal luminens

Ah British humor. I guess as long as there are no women dropping their drawers its not considered pornographic? Perhaps it's not exploitive this way.

Booya, take that planet anal bike!

So was that a full on cargo bike? Hot.

June 5, 2009

Bike Porn on Crank My Chain

Our multitalented friends at Crank My Chain host a live internerdical interview with Bike Porn directions and curators. We plan to talk about the upcoming world premiere of Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound although there is a chance that things will dissolve into boring talk about "who tasered who..." but we hope to get some of the previous filmmakers to ping in and share their experiences.

Tune in next Wednesday, June 10th at 11am Pacific Standard Tiempo!

Photo credit to Evalyn Parry who seems to be yet another rad Canadian biker gal.

The internets are still full of sex

What terrible convenience! Someone hacked this bike rental display in Spain resulting in it playing pornography. A large crowd gathered and after a few hours the police (who were also standing and watching and not really sure what they should do) decided to cover up the screen with paper.

A Bike Porn Kiosk could be the best idea of the month. Dont let the Spanish keep it for themselves, demand more bike porn in your town halls today!

Concern over the relative size difference between rider and "bike" cause very few people to take notice.
let me put it into context somewhat. Picture Arnold Schwarzenegger riding a 20” child’s bicycle. Not a pretty picture.
Pretty? What about hilarious? Maybe enviromentally devistating is a better way. to put it link to motocross
Also, next week Ron Jeremy will open a sex club downtown. Careful examiners of the byline will notice that the Portland Mercury's blog covered this story months ago, but all the big media (Fox, The Oregonian, BikeSmut) seem to be covering it now.

In case you dont know Ron Jeremy may be the most famous porn star of all time. You probably remember him from such roles as:

We hear that a bike ride might be heading that way on Friday June 19th. Check your local listings!

June 4, 2009

so much entry!

Its over! We've received about a dozen submissions for Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound and all of them are excellent. In fact this is certainly the most explicit program of bike sexuality we have produced to date meaning that someone got the memo.

What's that? You planned to make a movie but didn't get it done in time?!? For shame.

Well it is always a good time to make bike porn. In fact some people email us to let us know that they created really amazing work that they will not be sharing just cause they made it for themselves. While on the outside we seethe with rage at the indignity of this kind of statement, inside we know that it is for the best. The culture of recognizing how sexy bikes and bikers are is upon us and it would not be advisable for us to share everything anyway. Some things remain hidden, if only barely.

Thanks to all the pervs who has submitted to our will. You will be dealt with soon enough.

er we forgot where we stole this image from so please accept our lamest preemptive apologies!

June 1, 2009

Bike Porn Extension!

Deadlines! they are awesome!

Behold, we have extended our deadline to submit to Bike Porn 3: CYCLE BOUND to Wednesday June 3rd!

That's 2 whole more days of making rad sex positive adult content!

Whether your content depicts a bicycle dominatrix, the nature of a lifestyle committed (bound) to a car free lifestlye or just your run of the mill "double rush delivery"

speed hump!