July 26, 2009

Deadbaby Weekend - Aug 7-9th

IT IS ON! We are playing Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound in Seattle during Deadbaby Weekend! To have our program of sexy bike art be recognized by such a historic event (thirteen years running) is terribly exciting for us. Anyone who wants to have a freaky good time should be in Seattle, WA August 7-9th.

Freaky good because:

At this time it is not known if the Dead Baby Bicycle club has a unstated agenda for limiting the numbers of tiny humans. Could their agenda for infanticide be hidden in plain sight? peculation for why they are called the Deadbabies:

What is known is that on the 1st Friday of every month the Dead Babies have their monthly ride. Anyone on a bicycle can join and lots of people ride mutant bikes. It is fun! On the 1st Friday of August they host the Dead Baby Downhill. A race though the city to "the greatest party known to human kind".

But that, dear readers is just Friday night. Take a moment to understand what it means to your body to abuse it for an entire 72 hours.



YES! We are using white space to try and impress upon you the magnitude. This is the Dead Babies' 13th annual weekend of extraordinary bike danger/stupidity/sexiness/fun. This blog may have some gaps in its logic, but that is nothing when compared to the future gaps in your memory.

Lucky for you we have this handy list of activities!


  • 6pm Modest binge drinking at the Comet Tavern and Exhibition bike polo next door @ Cal Anderson Park.
  • 7pm race across Seattle with great indifference to human life (See possible motivations for Deadbabies above).
  • 8pm enjoy endless quantity of beer. (cause you registered, right?)
  • 9pm pass out in a pool of (hopefully) your own body fluid, unaware that bands and performances have begun.
  • 11pm wake up in time to stumble into the path of the tall bike joust finale.
  • 12am released from hospital with mild concussion and critical tongue lashing.
  • 1am remember that ticket they gave you at the start is redeemable for BBQ food
  • 2am with new found energy and confidence (and maybe a helmet?) you find yourself riding on a pedal powered amusement park ride courtesy of Cyclecide.
  • 3am Unsure about how you got there you decide to passout in stranger's hot tub.

Stay tuned for our predictions about Saturday and Sunday events!

photo credit to dennyt
Little Black Box

July 24, 2009

Verbal encouragement

One of our top priorities in the coming year is some sort of bikeporn encouragement meter broken down per location. Near the top are perennial debauchee encouragers New Orleans, New York, Toronto, and Atlanta as well as the little bike porn capitol of the rockies, Salt Lake. Plus who could ignore Asheville NC with its world record tall bike erection. All are looking to host bike porn and a pornometer would help us make our tough choices about where to go. But where as many a city promises booze, cookies, and spandex the town of Albuquerque might be in the lead after we received this lovely prose:

Wanna ride bikes?

The frame

Firm but compliant beneath me

Just the right size

Made to fit only me

The cadence

Steady and long

Tension and release

Until the motion is a smooth revolution of muscle

The chain

Linking the various pieces into a fluid continuum

The wheel


Hurtling me forward

To places I hadn’t dared to imagine

The spokes constant tease of

Tension and Release

The tires

The scalpel edge

Tearing me forward into new frontiers

My bike and me

Transporting each other passed the bounds of imagination

Until all muscles firing in this game of

Tension and release, tension and release

Pounding hard into unexplored worlds

Tension and release


Huzza bike porn citizens of "The Que!" They certainly did show us some bike love when we visited there in November of 2008.

Warm up those temptation engines! Tell us when where and why bike porn should be played!

send bribe laden email to:

photo credit to o . . . phuck!™

July 22, 2009

North American Hardcourt Bike Polo Championships

We have been in negotiations with the NAHBPC folk in Seattle. We have our fingers crossed that we will be able to show our program of smutty movies to the hard working polo players vying for the coveted crown.

With all the action going on that weekend in Seattle will there be any bike fun left for the rest of Cascadia?


July 15, 2009

From the writers of one of the most loved/hated bike porn movies ever comes this link which sends you to a pretty great website for wasting some time by looking at classically bizarre internerds.

July 8, 2009

Lycra Discount!

Join us this Sunday afternoon at HallaDay Park for a BYO BBQ as we welcome the riders of the Seattle To Portland.

In honor of cyclists willing to ride hundreds of miles in a weekend (or even just a day) we are hosting a "Lycra-Fast-Fashion Show" before the movies. Come to the screening dressed in the sexiest skin tight clothing and get nearly 20% off the regular ticket price.

The whole evening promises to be rather tight.

July 4, 2009

We SToP for Bike Porn!

We heartily welcome riders of the Seattle To Portland (STP) to our quaint cultural capital. While here you might enjoy a variety of delectable taste sensations.

Now serving: road rash. taint spasm and a sprinkling of shaved leg hair in a lycra taco.

heartily enjoy this fine con-cock-shin this coming Sunday night as your pedal your way to triumph!

(Does this map look veiny to anyone else?)

Only one thing to do with a room full of roadies.... Are you ready for a Skin Tight Fashion Show?

Not too bad, but the undies she is wearing are only 5% lycra. Not good enough!

Now this guy, he knows how to layer and strut!