December 31, 2009

More humptastic news from them ABQs

It would seem we touched a nerve... in a good way. After almost 2 months we found another story about our show in ABQ. A full length article about the Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound screening in Albuquerque, this time from the University of New Mexico's student paper, the Daily Lobo.Link

Here is a nice section of the article:

UNM senior Sean Alkire, who works at the UNM Outdoor Bike Shop, attended Pornotopia on Sunday and said the show was a healthy way for the Albuquerque community to explore sex.

“I thought it was very uplifting, if you know what I mean,” Alkire said. “I honestly didn’t know what to expect either. I didn’t know if we were going to be watching cartoons, bike on bike, I had no idea. Some of the hardcore stuff was a surprise, but a pleasant one.”

Wow, has that paper really been around since 1895? Bajesus, that is a long time. Thanks for the good press Mr Hunter, we hope you will explore the cyclical nature of getting it on to get off bikes again soon.Link

Photo Credit to Zach Gould

December 27, 2009

its got bike and its got porn, but it aint really bike porn

What we have here seems to be a fairly common straight, male bike mechanic fantasy. There are multiple attractive women providing attentive service to standard looking guys whom we assume are taking a break from their job of repairing bikes. Getting to have an orgy while on the clock? WOW! SOUNDS GREAT!

So why does it come off so boring?

Sure there is a lack of caring about the characters, but that is pretty much the standard operating procedure. There must be something more that is wrong. Post your ideas below. How would you make this bike porn better? Can it be made better? Is it salvageable at all?

Warning, NSFW (duh) and also not really very good.

The painfully obvious answer will be announced next week. We hope that someone will guess it.

December 20, 2009

infernal internal

you have these skills ----------------------------> Some
and are hanging out in this hood ---------> Portland
and are wanting this much in return ---> NOTHING!

Apparently we need you!

If that didn't get your heart pounding than continue not to enjoy.

Bike Porn Industries is hiring!

Well, almost. While we do experience frequent, rapid growth we also have equally frequent rapid downsizing. But at the moment we are accepting applications for our 1st ever Intern!

Bike Porn Industries organizes a touring festival of adult-themed bicycle movies. This is our 3rd year of traveling North America, sharing a view of progressive sexuality mixed with sustainability. We are looking for an office intern to assist with preparing for the next tour.

Applicants must be available 10am-4pm for 2-3 days during the week lasting until Feb 14th, 2010. Internship begins as soon as possible.

We can be somewhat flexible with scheduling as there is a lot of work to be done and much of it can be done at anytime.

This is an unpaid internship

Tasks include: assisting with mailings, internet research, event scheduling, theater negotiations, working on promotional images, writing materials for distribution and taking part in social media marketing campaigns as well as helping with our blog:

Additional tasks may include: assisting with production of promotional material, setting up lights or operating recording equipment

Please be dedicated, hardworking and LOVE DIY. We need you to be laid back with strong people skills while still being prompt and professional.

Prior experience with spreadsheets, email and other basic computing is necessary.

Photographic and video production experience are a plus, but not required.

* Location: Portland (some remote online work ok)
* Compensation: A small stipend is available.
* This is a part-time job.
* This is an internship job
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or
commercial interests.

Please apply by e-mail only: (cover letter and resume).

December 19, 2009

Thanks to alert bike porn conseur Mr M. Schwartz who gave us the tip on this fine video of bike love and lost and whatever:

"Wait! What about the tour update?" you say. "The 10k mile, 30 state, 8 province, 3 country, road trip with a show ever 2.3 days?"

WHAT A BUNCH OF INPATIENT JERKS! You think we post these vids so that you can just turn around and complain?!?!

man, just wait till you see what santa puts in your stockings...

December 16, 2009

The Story of MORE Stuff

A while back we shared the original Story of Stuff with everyone we could. What a marvelous way to clearly explain our connections to economic, social and environmental actions. Plus Annie Leonard... Rarrr!

She has just come out with a video for our newest greenwashed anti-heros: CrAP and TiRADE.

We shouldn't be surprised that a lot of the "answers" to our problems are making things worse.

But there is hope even for those who would only fuck bikes and then probably masturbate too frequently (no fingers being pointed, just saying...). Sharing info with others!

If you happen to live in the Portland area you are commanded to take note!

Conrad Schmidt, creator of The Work Less Party and The World Naked Bike Ride is coming to Portland and will be joining in a radical forum discussion about the future. He will be talking about his new book, Efficiency Shifting and how if we are just a little smart about economics the future might not suck (figuratively). Where as we will be able to talk at length about how it will totally suck (literally). So you can see how this is going to be a festive time.

No firm dates as of yet but it is expected to happen around February 11th. Could a naked ride follow the discussion?

This holiday season give the gift of knowledge. Drink deeply from those juices. Let the power of understanding fill you and then do something rad.

illustration by James Jean
Photo from Wikipedia

December 11, 2009

Living the Festival High LIfe

Home again in PDX and we are still getting love letters from all over, this one posted conveniently online is a pretty great review of Pornotopia, The Southwest's only sex positive film festival where Bike Porn 3 made a big splash.

Andi Mari writes exciting tales about her adventures as a sexually aware, minivan driving mom going to a erotic porn festival 1000s of miles from home at this link HERE!

Thanks for the excellent review of an excellent weekend. If most porn was as uplifting there we would probably have fewer sexual issues in society.

What say you... UNREASONABLE GOAL?!?

Regardless of your thoughts on sex positivity (sp?) You need to get ready for the future of Bike Porn! Over the next week we will be unveiling the proposed tour schedule for February-June! Over 10 thousand miles long and our most daring tour yet! We dont even know what to call it! We still need to buy a car (or perhaps a mini van?!?) to encourage better cycling. We're not sure if it is ironic but it sure feels that way.

December 4, 2009

ReMembering Eugene

Fleshback to Eugene one year ago. The plucky residents of Campbell Club willingly agree to host a curious idea. Bolstered by former sex-positive residents who could speak to the wonder and joy of Bikexploitation the perpetual students of Eugene open their doors (among other things) to the cadre of horny cyclists.

Their largest room is full to capacity packed in like massive ball bearings. The excited audience cheers gleefully, "Lets go on a naked bike ride!" The crowd pours out of the hall and into the streets. Hours later a spandex clad dance party rages in the kitchen until dawn.

Fleshforward to 2009. What will come of the poor unsuspecting viewers this year? What kind of reaction can be expected when the porn is turned up to eleven?

Shock? Inspiration? Perspiration? Time will tell, but we will not. What happens on Bike Porn Tour stays in the chamois. Its like a virus, but it is beneficial, so don't abstain, just relax, get comfortable, enjoy the show and when the time comes, scream out loud with exuberance.

  • Saturday December 5th
  • Campbell Club
  • 1670 Alder St Eugene, OR
  • 7:30pm, 18+
  • $5 donation
  • naked bike ride to follow

December 2, 2009

Media on Media Action

Thanks to Ryan Bigge who's blog The Biggie Idea was capable of summarizing a good portion of the bike sex industry in a single post. And while it might be a little too surmising for us at Bike Porn Industries we are greatful for the uh... exposure.

Meanwhile there are still lots of great opportunities to ogle bicycles, or in some cases use them to further other wonderfully twisted (lime) ideas. Still if you would rather decry bike sex, or the use of sex to sell bikes this article does a pretty good job breaking down some overt sexuality in bicycle advertising. And finally if all else fails you can go back to classic bike porn (as in sans human) If you are capable of masturbating to these images than we may have an... opening for you.

These images were not printed in the North American magazines but we saw the other half of the add (the half without dick) in a issue of Momentum.

And finally Urban Velo. No reason, we just like them and felt the need to achieve some balance in our o-so-journalistic reporting. Like Fox News for bikers.

December 1, 2009

Organ State vs University of Organ

Boomshakalaka, after an extended terrifying stint where our Eugene hosts decided not to return calls or emails we have found a new place to show the goods this weekend!

It is a battle of the bulge (in your pants) when these two titans of compete for best bike porn house party. The hairy Beavers of Corvallis seem to have the sexual advantage over the Eugene gregarious Ducks, but when these two Willamette Valley powerhouses play the field anything is possible.

1st up the Beavers will get their chance to put down some fly maneuvers. In-house bike limbo you say?!?!? With beer?!?!? Okay then.

Thursday, December 3rd
Corvallis Polo House
1700 nw kings
9:00 pm Adults Only,
$5 donation
after party with beer.
Bike Limbo, Dancing

Then to the U of Organ where going on a bike ride is a good enough reason to take your clothes off is hosting our collection of sexy bike movies on the coveted Saturday night position.

Saturday December 5th
Campbell Club
1670 Alder St Eugene, OR
7:30pm, 18+
$5 donation
naked bike ride to follow

We hope to end the Chain Whip in style. Come on down and whip it good.