October 16, 2011

If a terrorist can porn, you can too!

This article, by Joshua Holland recently rebuffed the attempted association of pornography with terrorism.

There are pornography users, even addicts, who do not become terrorists.

WOW! We had thought that maybe we were causing a bit of a stir, but we didn't understand the full impact of our meaty movies. Having just completed Bike Smut's European Tour it might be time to examine some recent radical history (never mind our exciting times in Madison, WI)

From looters in London, to encouraging re-appropriation of wealth in Germany, to opening squats in Warsaw, to delivering a stirring radical message (or was that a massage?) in Turkey we are accustom to having our radical cake and eating it too. How else to describe bike activists driving all over the world?!?

Osama Bin Laden's cave computer had porn on it. 5 Terror Bites. That is quite a lot of porn (depending on your porn's quality), possibly enough to keep his troops satisfied.

News media can not help but mention finding a villain's porn stash. What better way to demoralize the enemy, because only people stuck in caves look at porn, right?

Someday, "Did the terrorists' cave have a porn stash?" might replace "Was the cyclist wearing a helmet?" as our new favorite media snark.

We need to know everything about our enemy and finding your foe's porn stash should provide months of research opportunities to dozens of highly paid military intelligence officers (and probably quite a few Blackwater operatives).

But of course this should not come as a surprise. Not unlike the terrorist who decides to fill up a canteen before poisoning a well, if someone decides to bring down the country responsible for making the majority of the world's pornography he or she will probably have stocked up on supplies.

If idle hands are the devil's playthings, then more Porn (and therefore more excited genitalia) in more hands would be a surefire way to curb terrorism. Unless Al Queda was training its troops to use their penises to blind unsuspecting (possibly underage) military personnel.

We are told that terrorists hate us because we are free. That could be true, but it seems more likely terrorists hate us cause we are comfortable, and our comfort comes at the suffering of others. Of course it is not necessary to cause suffering to enjoy comfort. But its not a luxury if everyone gets to enjoy it, so there has to be losers, and the more they lose the more others gain.

But there are people who get paid to make people feel bad, and they REALLY dont want you to be free.

You are right, creepy floating heads, some things are not suitable for youth; obscenity lurks in plain sight at nearly every freeway exit. But when a prepubescent Michelin Man demands more what are we to do?


With so much perversion in the world we sometimes wonder about renting a cave of our own.

No comments:

Post a Comment

faster harder more