February 28, 2012

Midwestern 5:SPEED Mayhem

Bike Smut is back home, but our various allies are still working hard to encourage their various communities to appreciate the joy and freedom inherent to better sex and more appropriate transportation.

To that end we are attempting a new system of erotic bicycle movie delivery: the sexy proxy

Introducing your Midwestern bicycle pornographer, and her pussy bot

She, who may end up being named later on (possibly for sentimental reasons) will be hosting those bikesexuals lucky enough to live in/nearby (or willing to travel to) Minneapolis this weekend!

Bike Smut 5: SPEED
Friday, March 2nd
The Bedlam Community Design Center
currently in the Ivy Building:
Street Entrance: 2714 East 27th STREET – its on the SIDE of the Ivy Building, facing the Bike Path
FREE  - donations strongly encouraged, facecrack invite
A fundraiser for and presented by Wheel Sexy

Plus a sweet bike ride to the event put on by the fabulous  Queer Bike Gang!

Launch from Sunrise Cyclery, Lake & Bryant 7:00pm


February 26, 2012

Bike Smut 6: Turning Trixxx

Yes, its our official 'Call for Entries' for our sixth year of sexy and empowering bicycle film programming.


You would think after 5 years we would have seen just about everything to do with bikes and sex, and  be satisfied! Yet, this could not be further from the truth! Our chains are still lubed and waiting to be pumped full of the awesome power of DIY transportation and pornography! 

We had some excellent entries over the past years, ranging everywhere from 'fall off your bike' hilariousness to 'fall off your bike' horniness. Including some great international entries we received while enacting our world domination plan in Europe! Our community of radical bike-sexuals has proven many times over that they are smart, funny and aware! We are so grateful for every submission we have received in the past, and we are over-joyed to continue share great art with other like-minded individuals, the world over!

We have some really exciting plans for the future of Bike Smut, but they won't be possible without your contributions. Maybe you saw the movies and were inspired. Or maybe you saw the movies and were unimpressed. Maybe you didn't see the movies, but want to ensure you don't miss it next time round. (The best way to get us to come to our town is by making a movie!) Maybe you are a cyclist who wants to inspire your friends to be more open about sex, or introduce your pervy/kinky friends to the wonderful empowerment of the bicycle. Maybe you just like bikes and sex. It can be that simple!!

Europe, we are talking to you! The success of our first ever european tour will be measured by how many great movies we get from YOU! It will also determine our return. You want more?? Show us what you got.

Steps to making your bike porn happen:

  1. Get an idea! What do you like about bikes and sex? This years theme is 'Turning Trixx'. What does that mean to you? Sex workers doing bar spins? Obtaining coutis on a bike whilst riding it? (Actually no, no one has done that before!! WTF!?) We are not too strict on our themes. So, whatever your idea, make it sexy, make it clever, make it awesome. Just make bike porn!!!
  2. Find a friend(s). It is possible to make a totally solo and totally great bike porn. But even if you and your bike are the only 'actors' its great to have a few more people on board. Camera operators are handy and make it easier to get better shots. Musicians can be great for providing sexy backing music. More people means more ideas, which can lead to really really great art. This project is all about community, so get your community involved in a great project!
  3. Get a camera. (What, that cell phone shoots video??) We dont care how you shoot it. Just find a way to get it in some shareable format. Cameras are everywhere these days. Shoot in super 8, shoot in HD, string a bunch of still images together from your iphone.  We prefer 16x9 ratio, but if you wanna shoot in pixelsvison or some other crazy format, we are ok with that.
  4. Make your movie. Lights, camera, action as they say. Once you get it all recorded you are going to want to try your hand at some editing. Sharing ideas works best when they are quick and concise. Keep it under 10 mins (we think 5 mins and under is even better!) and the audience is more likely to stay engaged and understand what you are trying to say. That also keeps our show to one evening long, rather than an all night marathon of bike porn.
  5. Fill out the 'Entry Form.' I know, i know...paperwork!!!??! It's a boring part of the biz, but we gotta do it. We kept it as short as possible, and it's a little more work for you that means A LOT less work for us. You can get your copy from HERE. If you have questions, send us an email.
  6. Get your movie in our hands by June 6th! Once you have the entry form you will also know how to send us your movie. Once we have it, we promise not to put it online, release a DVD or tell your grandma.

June 6th is the deadline for Bike Smut 6: Turning Trixxx
Just incase you didn't get that before.

You make it possible for bikers to talk about sex, you make it
possible for sex fiends to enjoy biking, you make your community
stronger and more aware. You share these things with people you care
about because it improves their lives. All you have to do is make a movie.

P.S. We have some super sweet posters and postcards for our 'call for entries', featuring the beautiful art above. If you work in a bookstore, bike shop, bordello or some similar community space that might want to share these ideas in poster/postcard format, please get in touch. bikesmut@gmail.com

Have fun, play safe, make porn!

Portland Refactory Peroid

The Orgasm Trail has come to its gooey conclusion, and tho there are thousands more horny cyclists we have yet to fulfill, we have decided to take a short break from all our touring to give our bodies time to recover from the epic travels we have had.

In the past year we traveled vast distances across varied physical and mental landscapes. But therewas little to prepare us for our Portland reunion. The Clinton St Theater seats 250 but lines were out the door as the happy-go-fucky perverts filtered in and out of our spacious venue, many complaining that there was no room. Sometimes the streets are full, and sometimes you have to squeeze in to make space for yourself, but when a red bus load of crusty Los Angeles bike punks rolls up demanding bicycle erotica what are we to do?

By the time it was over many on the streets stood in a state of disbelief, their mouths (and/or other orifices)  left agape with all the shock and awe of what they had beered witness to.
Suddenly someone yelled, "Flash Mob Naked Bike Ride!!!!!"  There was a quick exchange about who would carry clothes and suddenly people started stripping down to their undies, or less.

But really it is the casual approach to sex with the business approach to clothes that makes it work. Hellyea you are looking good! (or so you might say)

February 22, 2012

signs pointing to South America?

Maybe it is just us but even though we have been in our hometown of Portland, Oregon for approx 168 hours we are already seeing signs that we may have to start touring again. But how can we be sure that is not some other land mass? And if it is some other land mass, should we be concerned?

What do you see in those, no-so-fluffy-white-clouds?

February 16, 2012

Looks like we made it to Orgasm.....I mean, Oregon!

We made it...... Like we made it, we made it, we made it! BIKE SMUT IS IN PORTLAND for the first time in almost a year. WTF and HALLELUJAH!!

The land of milk and honey is just as sweet as when we left it. While the cold rain is making us realize we have lost all of our wool socks, we are keeping warm just from the wonderful squishy 'home at last' feeling inside.  Courteous drivers, endless bike lanes, cheap delicious beer, super rad strip clubs and even a gay major who wants to take the cities money out of big, unethical banks; what more could a bike-sexual ask for???

To celebrate all those bad ass riders, who manage to make rain gear look so sexy, we are showing 'The Orgasm Trail' one last time for the 9th annual Mini Bike Winter.

Thats right, Mini Bike Winter is the worlds longest running, completely DIY bicycle festival that shows us how we don't need any 'dead presidents' to have free fun, even in the middle of winter. Bike Smut is kicking the weekend off with a FREE screening of radical porn at our old haunt The Clinton Street Theater. To make the evening extra special, we are going to kick off the whole evening with an exclusive look at our 'behind the scenes' tour videos and a presentation from our new friends, queer and sex-positve pleasure shop, As You Like It.

After the show, we are all gonna strip down for a quick naked ride to meet our friends The Dropout Bike Club, for their official MBW group ride.

We are SO excited to see old friends and make new ones. Hope to see you there!!

Friday, Feb 17th
Clinton Street Theatre
2522 Clinton Street

aint no Media-ocer Monday

Its a Funderous (pre) Friday!

Thanks to our friends and media partners for helping to bring more sex-positive, transportation-ally-aware art to the people.

Thanks be to our northern racing folk who been killin it in the streets:

Possibly our most innocent film is now (gasp!) online, a big deal for us since we are so political about distribution:

Bike Portland got the ball rolling five years ago and are still committed to our mutual cause:

and hey, whats a weekly listing of free events without OUR free fucking bike eventL

and another for the rest of this wkends action, just in case you didn't know how much fun we are having:

But this isn't one of those exclusionary events designed to make people feel shame, this is FUN in the STREETS for the PEOPLE, and you are invited to take part.


We wouldn't have great art to share if YOU the inspired bikesexuals of the world didn't make it. So expect our call for submissions for our upcoming collection soon!

February 14, 2012

Happy V Day

 In this time of reclaimed rights and liberty, we should take a moment to remind ourselves that St. Valentine choose the long hard road and tho he may have regretted his decision as he was dying in a cell, it is still true - some things that are worth suffering for.

 Keep fighting the good fight

February 12, 2012

Olympic Valentine

Holy Cascadian dream! There are only a few days left before we cool our heels in the everlasting puddles of Portland. But first we have to smeear our vulvae all over Washington's seat tubes.

Just last night we got word that we still may be able to pull off a show in Seattle this weekend. Very encouraging because another venue had flaked on us and we were left in lurch. But the safe money is on the state Capitol city of Olympia where teams of young energetic bikesexuals are poised to rock the Evergreen campus to its foundation.

Olympia Bike Smut
Tuesday Feb 14th
Evergreen State College
Lecture Hall 2
Doors at 6, start movie at 7
Donations accepted
sponsored by Evergreen State College

Thats Olympia, not Olympus. Easy mistake considering that we were catching a ride there just a few months back...

photo credit to Road Rage

February 11, 2012

Back in the saddle, Seattle

The wondrous overcast gloom of the Northwest has finally called us back. After a great show in Eugene, we cruised past our beloved PDX in order to, once again, bring great art to Seattle! It has only been a year since you spoiled Seattlites have got to witness our wares, but oh how much has happened since then!  We are back at the Mix on Sunday night with more international flair than the singing & dancing daughter of two Brazilian milliners. 

Elvis and Joan O'Brien near the Space Needle in 'It Happened at the World's Fair' (1963)

So why don't you make like Elvis and feign-injury-to-get-a-cute-girl-to-give-you-a-ride-down-there-in-a-pedicab

Sunday, February 12th
The Mix
6004 12th Ave S, Georgetown

May we suggest a little Sunday foreplay at the Seattle Bike Swap.  9am-2pm

February 8, 2012

Fuck Bike Art

Bike Smut filmmaker Andrew H Shirley and William Thomas Porter have got their creation, Fuck Bike #001 in New York's Museum of Sex with a lot of other great art.


If you are in NYC you can go there Tomorrow! (er Feb 9th)

February 6, 2012

Return to Cascadia

In just another day we will be back in Oregon.

In just the past 12 months we have been touring without much of a break...  at our most recent tally we had gone approx 44 THOUSAND miles (which is like 66,000 kilos)

It's kinda crazy, not sure if we are gonna end up being hauled away on carbon credit violations or something... but if so, back to the Den Hagg!

Soon, we will be able to relax in our home of Cascadia, but first, lets get down with our friends at the University of Oregon in Eugene!

University of Oregone - orgone.org
Eugene 2/9, 8pm
@ Ben Linder Room, EMU

Get on, to get off, its the home run stretch on the Orgasm Trail!

February 3, 2012

Seeing the woods from the Oakland

Bay Area... sounds kind of dirty. Like, did he touch you in the Bay Area? Did you like it?

No more rumors, get all the juicy bike action you demand! And in this case, since we are screening at a sex positive shop it should be easy to get what you want, as long as you remember to ask!

Oakland Bike Smut
Sunday, February 5, 2012
1703 Telegraph Ave

7:30pm until 10:30pm
$5-10 suggested donation  

February 2, 2012

Cruzin 4 Santa


Its on the coast, there are lots of beautiful bikers, and its happening tonight!
703 Pacific Avenue # B
 9pm, donations

We promise this will be the last "Santa-themed" blog post for the season