Did you come here for a good time or a long time? Because in a very short time Seattle will have a good time! This Saturday, October 7th, 2023 Capitol Hill will host the first screening of Bike Smut in nearly 5 years.

Considering we made more than 500 shows in our first decade of existence that is a very long, dry spell. This kind of lenghty period without bicycle porn inspires questions: 1) Who let you out? 2) Who let you in? 3) Why now? 4) Why here? 5) Why you? Ah, the hateraid of the internet will flow but the purness of our pervness shalt be prevented from presenting. So then we retort with a timeless classic (that was also my 8th grade class presidential election campaign slogan): Why not?

And so we gather one more time, at least to present the only festival of its kind for one night only.

So once again we ask you, Do you like bikes, erotica, or bands? We do too! Join us for Bikes, Booty, Bands...BBB! Get all of this action in one fun and welcoming event. We start with spicy, erotic bike short films and then howl to the wild raucous sounds of the Filthy Fem Corps Marching Band and Double or Muffin. $20. Doors at 5pm. Mischief starts at 6pm, Saturday, October 7th at Chop Suey. BBB!! (Pronounced like you are motorboating -- get some!!)

https://www.ticketweb.com/event/bikes-booty-bands-chop-suey-tickets/13646208

www.filthyfemcorps.com

www.doubleormuffinband.com

• Sat, Oct 7, 2023
• 6:00 PM (Doors 5:00 PM)
• Chop Suey
• 1325 E Madison St. Seattle, WA 98122
• $20.00
• Ages 21+
• with Filthy FemCorps and Double or Muffin

Seattle! Fight for your fucking future!

Seattle is a city of impressive futuristic tendencies:

the Space Needle, the computer software, the wall to wall Starbucks, the overpriced housing market,  the stream of people who commute for two or more hours twice a day between Everett and Tacoma...

 We can do better. Seattle its time to abandon the ways of yesteryear and step into...

THE BIKESEXUAL FUTURE

It connects our sexuality & mobility to the future of our species. 

How can I use power tools and hydraulics to get on and get off bikes? Will there be a singularity? How will we cope after the carpocolaypse? Can squirters solve the looming water shortage? Where is my alien 4-way orgy and can I get Captain PrickHard to sign my boobs? Is this really the last screening in Seattle?!?

All these questions and more will be answered. But just as before there are no DVDs and the movies are not online. The only way to see Science Friction is to be there when it happens live

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

• Sunday, August 9
• 7:00 PM – 9:30 PM 
• Center for Sex Positive Culture ~ Main Space
• 1602 15th Ave. W
• $10 at the door, $7 if you ride a bike. Advance discounts available.
• open to anyone aged 18+
• FREE indoor bicycle parking
• with live performances and rare handmade bikeseuxal crafts for sale
• sponsored by the Center for Sex Positive Culture
• https://fetlife.com/events/365264 connect with some kinky people!
• https://www.facebook.com/events/1444857485838507/ connect with some facecracky people!
• http://thefspc.org/event/bike-smut-2015/?instance_id=12957124 connect with some tickets and sex community!

This workshop is produced by the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, producer of the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. Our mission is to promote the many ways sex is beneficial through education, outreach, the arts, advocacy, and research programs that serve the public.

Seattle Hops on the Porny Express

Cascadian Summer is upon us! The perpetual clouds that once dominated our skies have been replaced with a sea of blue and a glowing orb of yellow that hangs over our heads in a consistent reminder to go outside.

And go outside you must because that is where your friends are playing in the streets. Taken over by numbers greater than you can be bothered to count, behind which a trail of beer cans and casual pedestrians who are dumbfounded by the expression of insane (perhaps inane?) joy traveling down the street.

The Dead Baby Downhill is upon us again. It has been 3 years since Bike Smut has been able to join in the fun. But we shalt miss another. On the 1st Friday of the month enjoy the 17th annual Dead Baby Downhill!!

Show up at The Station on Beacon Hill, 2533 16th Ave S at 5pm for registration, race at 7pm sharp!

Enjoy passing out in the street in a pile of warm beer and cheap vomit.

Then clean yourself up because on Sunday you are expected to enjoy Seattle's only screening of

The Porny Express
Sunday, August 4th
The Mix
6006 12th Ave South
8pm
Adults only
$5-10 donation

It is a curious and feisty community that brought us together for nearly two decades. Beer witness to the coming future!

photo credit to http://www.bikejuju.com/

Audience Reactions to "Turning TriXXX" - Seattle

Whenever possible we love to give voice to the people who live the life and make their community more exciting by their presence. We had the opportunity to meet one such leader in his community after our recent screening in Seattle.

Abundant a user on the popular sexual website, FetLife had this to say about our new program Bike Smut 6: Turning TriXXX:

The show was great. Fun mix of content (though I am a straight dude withe the predictable biases). I can see how more gender & orientational diversity would appeal, though that clearly depends on the submissions you get. And some of the prior showings I've seen had tons of diversity.

handmade bike chain choker by Abundant

I really enjoyed the surrounding questions, conversation, and interaction with the audience, even if we were a little reluctant to engage. People seemed looser after the show; maybe prime with some questions before, and then return to those same questions after?

Also, I'd love it if the URLs presented in the films were also available somewhere else. Maybe they are in the blog? I'm thinking of indiepornrevolution and something like lexieweb? The euro buttplug ride one. And any others I'm forgetting.

Anyway, that's my thoughts. Thanks again for putting on such a fun show for bikesexuals like us.

Thank you Abundant! Having excited people wanting to examine and appreciate various forms of sexuality make this massive project worthwhile. That and the handlebar rides... and the parties. Okay, most of this is seriously fabulous, but we are grateful for your words just the same!

Dead Baby Downhill Video Recap

Bikes! Babes! Bands! Beer!

POINTS OF EXCLAMATION!!!!

From plentiful beer to hawt biker girls dancing in the streets to tall bike wrestle/jousting to not possibly not waking up in someone's puke at dawn, the Dead Baby Downhill has a lot of things going for it! We are proud to see so many of our friends taking part and making it better.

Seattle can be a little stuffy for a Northwest city so its great to get them to get down and dirty for a spell.

Join us next time the 1st Friday of August in 2013!

Bikes in Babeland

It is HOT in the Northwest!

....and it just got a bit hotter here at Bike Smut headquarters when we found out Babeland Toys will be sponsoring our Seattle show!

Babeland has been Seattle's #1 totally awesome, sex-positive, female-friendly sex shop for almost 20 years. In 1998 they went bi-costal, opening up shop in NYC too. Here at Bike Smut we adore what they do. Babeland is committed to creating a welcoming and sex-positive experience to all genders. In turn, this helps to redefine obscenity and bring better sexuality to their community. 

Look there is even a bike in their Seattle storefront pic! 

To top off Babeland's bike-sexual awesomeness, it just so happens that two of their sex educators are partaking in the Climate Ride this September. Ashley Allen and Megan Collier will be riding their bikes 300 miles to raise money for organizations that are committed to finding sustainable energy solutions, and promoting cycling and environmental causes. You can find our more about how you can help Team Babeland here.

So, don't miss your chance to see Bike Smut 6: Turning Trixxx at it's first show away from Portland, this Sunday the 19th at 20/20 Cycles. Not only will you get a night of bikesexual, feminist porn, (including a film from a Seattle local filmaker!) but one lucky attendee will also be walking away with some awesome eco-sexual products from Babeland!

See you there, Seattle!

Turning TriXXX in Seattle!

Summer!

When the heat of the city boils the streets and your tires resulting in a forced marriage of rubber and tar it's summer.

Cascadia in the summertime feels pretty magical. Packs of friends cruising around between shows or gatherings while other packs are sprinting through a turn in graceful formation. The seemingly limitless potential of every night give a sense of excitement you can taste as every opportunity to stop and post up on a bench or bluff yields new choices as groups interact and share bikers like so many positively charged atoms would share electrons.

Seattle, get your covalent bondage on!

The Seattle premiere is coming up quick and includes "The Bike Wizard" a hardcore threesome with snappy editing, hilarious dialogue and expressed consent. Directed by local queer porn star, Jessie Sparkles!

Bike Smut 6: Turning TriXXX
Sunday, August 19th
20/20 Cycles (20th and Union)
Doors at 7, preshow at 7:15, show at 7:30
$10,   18+

Come get some magic at our final 2012 screening in Cascadia!

The Race is Coming!

Just yesterday while talking about better sex and better transportation someone noted that Tall Bike Jousting might be the most violent, masculine sign of physical bike sexual domination yet devised.




If that is true your opportunity to witness the finest Cascadian tall bike jousters in action is happening soon!

Seattle hosts the 16th annual Dead Baby Downhill including a messenger challenge and a massive group ride into what has been dubbed as "The Greatest Party Known To Humankind" in Georgetown. This could be the last time the party is able to be held in G-town, because they have been throwing this greatest party every 1st Friday of August for almost two decades now and there are some downsides to having a few thousand bike punks raging in the streets until dawn.

1st Friday of August

be prepared

Seattle Naked Bike Ride - TODAY!

Zowie! in just about an hour a delightful horde of naked bikers will begin engaging the people with full frontal awesome!

The streets are made for people and we are in town to help people know their inherent right to better sex and better transportation. You don't have to be completely nude to join  the World Naked Bike Ride. We encourage you to be "as bare as you dare." (but we always wear shoes.) Our Bike Smut organizers were also quoted in this article in the Portland Mercury that includes lots of other useful tips.

Every year, in cities around the world, thousands ride bikes naked to celebrate human-powered transport and the power and individuality of the human body. WNBR demonstrates the vulnerability of cyclists on the road and offers a simple, cheap, healthy + fun alternative to car culture.

• July 7th 
• 2:30 pm 
• Olympic Sculpture Park Beach

Its Free! (you probably could give someone a donation, but you will have to find them)
Its Fun! (its all smiles from all sorts of body shapes and sizes everywhere!)

It Political! (a protest against oil dependency)

We hope you join us

Sneaky Seattle

We have had this show booked for a while, but all of the sudden its happening in just a few days. So, incase you haven't heard, we will be doing one of our final presentations of the Orgasm trail. The the 'choose your own bike porn adventure' with Bike Smut 4: Play and 5: Speed, taking inspiration from our favourite childhood computer game, 'The Oregon Trail'

Come on down and check us out. We know Seattle full vast distances of totally un-bike-friendly hills, so you might of missed us when we were in georegtown a few months ago. This time we wil be at The Center for Sex Positive Culture's venue known as The Wet Spot.

Sunday, May 20th

6-8pm

$15

signs pointing to South America?

Maybe it is just us but even though we have been in our hometown of Portland, Oregon for approx 168 hours we are already seeing signs that we may have to start touring again. But how can we be sure that is not some other land mass? And if it is some other land mass, should we be concerned?

What do you see in those, no-so-fluffy-white-clouds?

Post Seattle Bike Smut reaction day 7

we will keep you posted ass breaking news comes in

Cogless? More like pantsless.

Seattle is the hardest west coast city to ride.

But thanks to all the people throwing great events, its not the hardest city to party in.

Here is the Rebel Without A Cog's Blog and our long over due VIDEO OF THE WEEK AWARD



go forth and make your own slap dick vids... and QUICK!

When the World Rocked the Cascades

And the quaked at its oncoming monumental balls.

More details coming soon

post-Seattle recuperation

Thank you Seattle!

so many beautiful bikers and perverts presenting themselves in a cavalcade of horny that we are hardly able to contain ourselves

lets try to recap:

A show at a place once called the Wet Spot equipped with whips, chains, cages, a pretty complete dungeon and other fortifications, one of which we had performers on top of.

A stage shared with pop-up-out-of-a-cake dancers gyrating to Kenny Loggin's Danger Zone and a variety of indecent proposals, plus a trip to a massive, abandoned concrete factory with a view of our future home, a barge left for dead on the Duwamish.

A relaxed screening at a bike screening where one of the viewers was quoted as saying, "Im sorry I have to go home now, because I am really turned on"

ZOWIE!

Thanks for all your support Seattle!

Live on the air with HER

Hey there porn fans, we have a represenatitive on the radio starting at 4:45 pm today!

Well be talking about Bike Porn 4:PLAY, Seattle, the analysis of burlesque vs. strip teasing, and "is this the post-modern sexual revolution, or are we spinning our gears?"

HER is "a forum for underrepresented music, sounds and perspectives. We support the local music community in Seattle, King County, Washington state, and the larger Pacific Northwest by focusing on found sound, field recordings, forgotten music, local musicians, bedroom recordings..." HEY NOW!

Tune in and listen to the goods at Hollow Earth Radio.org

Three Loads for Seattle

We are Super StokedTM because there is an invasion force coming up from other lands to enjoy this humptastic weekend.



Here is your schedule for hot bike action in the 206 this weekend:

Thursday @7pm: enjoy .83's weekly ride. Nerdcore alcoholics ride cherry whips. Meet at Westlake Center

Friday @8pm: the monthly Dead Baby ride. Starting location to be announced.

Saturday @2pm: The Center for Sex Positive Culture host the Seattle premiere of 4:PLAY

Saturday @6pm: Back to bike punk roots, Bike Porn 4:PLAY is in Georgetown at the Mix

Sunday @ 5pm: Take it to the Hill! 20/20 Cycles hosts the final 2011 screening of Bike Porn (do they have the best website by a local bike shop ever? talk among yourselves)

Thanks Seattle Bike Blogs!

As part of our continuing work to bring our bikesexual content to more communities we have expanded past our typical places where we pimp the goods.

It has been a few months since we uprooted ourselves from our glorious bike-fucking-fun-tastic city of Portland to place ourselves in the emerald city, or as we like to think of it, the Northwest's Family Jewels. Since that time we have been sucking up to the best pimpers of bikes this state has to offer.

And what exciting news do we have! THREE big shows this weekend in Seattle!

We are up in this jam here, thanks Go Means Go, we love that you love movies.

and we have a sweet interview with the fine folks from the Seattle Bike Blog.

Finally we are scheduled to be on Hollow Earth Radio Wednesday afternoon. Tune in for your dose of audaciousness.

Seattle Gay Bike Porn News

Thats right we bike porn folk have been dubbed good enough for government work by the gayest news in Seattle.

Then, the earth shook. Tour de Pants is the short film that quieted the room. It took the viewers a few seconds to understand what they were seeing. You see, our good Reverend Phil had a little surprise in store for the anarchic cadre of two-wheeled enthusiasts:

Scott Rice - of SGN


BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE! Learn more about the history of bike porn than you thought necessary with this secret info about the curator of the Bike Porn series...

Deadbaby Weekend primter - Sunday

Sunday
10am Bright and early you are enjoying a friendly game of bicycle polo. Not counting the cities you have been to you meet jaunty players from Dayton, Richmond, Ottowa, Pensacola, and Anchorage. The teams are engaged in a massive double elimination bracket after the second loss they can say goodbye to being a champion. But they can say "Hello Nurse!" so be ready for staggering quantities of hilarity.

1pm The Dead Baby water bottle you drank out of the last 2 nights is very useful in keeping a low profile all afternoon. You wisely put a unique sticker on it to distinguish them from other deadbaby water bottles cast about Magnuson Park.

2pm You take in an exhibition game of tall bike polo. (note: this probably will not happen in fact this probably has never happened and will never happen, so don't ask for it to happen, cause it wont.)

4pm After all the drama and excitement the tournament has been narrowed to a handful of the best teams. You decide it is time to try to understand the rules.

NORTH AMERICAN HARDCOURT BICYCLE POLO CHAMPIONSHIP RULES

GENERAL INFORMATION:
• Three player teams.
• Games to 5 with a 15 minute time limit. No tie games.
• Double elimination tournament.
• Bar ends and mallet ends should be plugged. No exposed outer chainrings.

SCORING:
• A score is only counted when the ball is hit with a strike using the end of the mallet head.
• You may not score on a shuffle
• You can’t score on yourself

NO:
• No throwing mallets.
• No “unlike” contact. Example: Mallet to Player, Player to Bike, Mallet to Bike, etc.
• No high sticking (above handlebars).

PENALTIES:
• Dabbing or minor rules violation: Tap out.

DON’T BE A DICK
• Don’t be a dick.

6pm you discover one of the most important ideas that separates organized hardcourt from organized grass bike polo is the number of rules. But as a spectator its not nearly as important to know the rules as it is to know that heckling and jeering is as crucial to the game as the players themselves. It is a game after all, if it is not fun, it should not be played.

8pm a champion is crowned and will travel to Philadelphia for the Worlds (although it is debatable how many hemispheres have to represent to have a worlds). Our sexy bike team is hoping to score a special prize offered up to the team with the most clASS.