December 25, 2017

exploit bikes for fun, not profit

BIKESEXUAL ALERT! ARE YOU SHIRKING YOUR DUTY TO YOUR OWN DESIRE??!?

Its not just a casual concern. We are feeling it too. There is so much stress and horror available without end. Our revolutionaries are not operating at their full capacity if they are not keeping their own fires stoked at home. So please try to answer the question: are you making space for the development of your mobilized, sexualized self?

Moreover, is this the crap Santa delivers when we neglect to actually ask for things we want?










It could just be another sign of the coming apocalypse (there are many, we know) but it could be a sign that you and we and everyone are letting bastards win. Whenever the d-bags, like Logan Paul have their way with pop culture they usually take something as beautiful and inspiring as the song "Handlebars" and pervert it into an vapid reason boost their fragile ego. So if we don't react to the inherent objectification with derisive scorn we end up letting our pure bikesexual waters become tainted and tho Bike Smut may be slowing down (... a lot) that shaln't happen on our watch!

For the appropriate background here is the original video by Flobots




And since modern culture eats sentiment and shits piles of post-digested manure, here is the cis/white/hetero/male scat you have been fearing was being squeezed out:



But we are not content to just be casual observers of media. We got a fucking degree in this shit and worked print, broadcasting, street media, trade journal, industries. We get to take a swift crack at this cracker's ass.



WHAT DOES THIS VIDEO REALLY MEAN?

does it mean that Paul:
- can ride a bike without handlebars, although it never once happens in the video?
- can have sex without using his hands? A subliminal request for bondage?
- can ride a woman with a smaller mustache than him?
- can inspire women to throw off their patriarchal burdens by standing up for themselves?
- gets punched in the mouth so often he is secretly advocating for dental health?

Thankfully, rather than let this trash go on unaddressed the Flowbots provided their own retort:



So here is our  New Years resolution: To be thankful for our awareness of the radical, independent media that already exists! There's lots of it out there and we love it! We enjoy the Intercept and Democracy Now almost every day. Partly because they keep us reminded that some media outlets are not paid for by corporations that benefit from endless war.

We believe most people actually desire this kind of truth but are frequently overwhelmed by the never ending torrent of crap that is shoved down our collective throats. We can all do better and engage in more uplifting media that if it punches at all, it punches up!
(also, this really was posted on a Media Monday, which hasn't happened in years so there's something else to be thankful for)


NOTE: there is a good chance that Bike Smut will travel to Australia in February. Finally making the Pacific Rim Job Tour a reality and one step closer to world domination.

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