Lycra Discount!

Join us this Sunday afternoon at HallaDay Park for a BYO BBQ as we welcome the riders of the Seattle To Portland.

In honor of cyclists willing to ride hundreds of miles in a weekend (or even just a day) we are hosting a "Lycra-Fast-Fashion Show" before the movies. Come to the screening dressed in the sexiest skin tight clothing and get nearly 20% off the regular ticket price.

• Sunday July 12th
• Clinton St Theater
• 26th and SE Clinton
• @ 10:45 pm

The whole evening promises to be rather tight.

We SToP for Bike Porn!

We heartily welcome riders of the Seattle To Portland (STP) to our quaint cultural capital. While here you might enjoy a variety of delectable taste sensations.

Now serving: road rash. taint spasm and a sprinkling of shaved leg hair in a lycra taco.

heartily enjoy this fine con-cock-shin this coming Sunday night as your pedal your way to triumph!

• Sunday, July 12th
• Clinton St Theater
• 26th and Clinton
• 10:45 pm
• $6 includes live performance

(Does this map look veiny to anyone else?)




Only one thing to do with a room full of roadies.... Are you ready for a Skin Tight Fashion Show?
















Not too bad, but the undies she is wearing are only 5% lycra. Not good enough!









Now this guy, he knows how to layer and strut!

Clinton St Marquee

They do not mince words.

Will we be able to show Bike Porn to the Seattle To Portland people? Stay tuned!

jewish bike porn?

Could the crack team of uber-smarmy posters on the Portland Mercury's blog actually be loosing a battle about the nature of hardcore pornography and the World Naked Bike Ride with a Judeophob?

Click here for the latest in commentary about how riding a bike naked is linked to white pride (not that there are a lot of proud, naked white people riding bikes in Portland or anything).



Thanks to Sarah Mirk for her uncovering of the truth about boobs.

Japanese foot traffic porn

honestly this is only one step away from being outside our range, but somehow it gets the nod.

How about that music? Feel the lounge-y sample of the Theme song to Superman?



So what do you think? too pedestrian?

Cool Down!

Lets hear it for the cinco en junio!

5 bike porn shows at the Clinton
5 thousand in Portland's World Naked Bike Ride meaning you could see
5 limbs dangling from many bikers all over pdx.

After a month like that it seems only fitting that we take a bath or something.

So come and join us in the water! The sexiest bike event outside our pants is happening (July 4th?) just off the I-5 corridor in Central Washington in a place we call: CheHellYES!

Imagine a lot of sun and bikes and water. And explosives, and alcohol. Don't sacrifice your beautiful genitalia! Bring whatever protection you need and come have the time of your life.

phat performance

omg. awkward silence anyone?


BIKE PORN TONIGHT!

BONUS SCREENING

due to the massive outpouring of support for the show we have decided to overwhelm you with bonus screenings!

Monday June 22nd
Clinton St Theater (SE 26th and Clinton)
7, 9, and 11pm!
$6, 21+

Cycle Bound Reactions

Hey there humptastic bike jerks! We need your insightful/obscene thoughts on the show!

Please let us bike porn people know how we can do it better in the comments below!

2 in the can, more in the bush

That's right, last night we murdered two stunned portland audiences.

murdered.

that's a lot of bodies but thankfully the nice people at the Clinton Street Theater have strong backs. More great movies there all weekend long as part of the Portland Underground Film Festival.

For those who escaped from the show without being murdered please leave a comment about where you are and how you might want to be murdered in the future, and also what you thought of the show. Lets see some dialoge! (get it? 2 way log!)

ALSO

in case you didn't know tonight is the World Naked Bike Ride. (NO LINK FOR YOU!)

meaning no matter where you are (in the northern hemisphere) you can ride your bike naked and probably convince a few thousand of your new bestest friends to join you.