May 7, 2016

Working the Sausage in Nuremburg

If you search the Internet for "nuremberger" all you get is a sausage fest. Not dick pics, literally butchered meats in long, narrow enclosures. Fitting, because it seems probable that Bavaria invented partying while feasting on sausage and named it after a month in the Autumn (even tho they do it everyday). It doesn't matter if you order a hot dog in Hamburg or a Salisbury Steak in Frankfurt, these conventions do not apply. It might not make much sense to our New World food categorizations which tell us that while its true that both are cylinders of ground up animal parts one is a flat disk without a casing and the other is a long tube.

the end result of being a sausage around Miss Poppy Cox
Your complete awareness of this information is not required to watch Bike Smut this Sunday night at the Nürnberger Fahrrad-Film-Festvial. Still, Miss Poppy Cox wants to totally go all Bavarian with you! Enjoy a bright white sausage party with beer and pretzels and the world's finest collection of erotic bicycle films at the International Cycling Film Festival!

 Just listen to these efficient German verbiage:

Der Höhepunkt des 4NFFF: A Festival of Radical Pleasure!
Bei Bike Smut gibt es kurze, erotische Filme auf zwei Reifen.
Mehr verraten wir nicht vorher - wer Bike Smut erleben will, muss es erleben!

Nürnberg - Casablanca Theatre
Samstag, 7. Mai, 22:50 Uhr

Yeah! Yer damn right we Sprechen Sie Deutsch! Get your bike-fucking tickets online, now!

more info about this randy fahrrad film festival at the adorably named URL:

May 4, 2016

The Alpha and Omega of Porn

This is the end of bikesexual times. For the lord did say unto me, take heed, for I am the alpha and omega, the semination and termination of porn.

Bless the beasts and the bicycles; keep the Sabbath wholey

Saturday, May 7
Church of Fun

April 29, 2016

Last Ever Bike Smut in London!

 Miss Poppy Cox is the original Spokeslut 

in her own words
On the term, "Spokeslut" and how it was meant to shame me for my slutty nature. (I’m just some bimbo that is so brainwashed by the patriarchy that I cannot see how fucked up the image I created is.)
I thought I would write my own personal slut manifesto. A declaration of how I want to live my life. I thought it might provide some inspiration or at least clarification for the rest of you out there. So here it is:

I will have as much or as little sex as I want, with whomever I am mutually attracted to, regardless of race, adult age or gender identity. This will fluctuate throughout my life and I will not feel bad for having more sex or less sex than is usual for myself, or whatever amount society wants to deem is correct. In my sexual interactions, I will always strive to be honest, open, and fulfill my desires as well as my partners, regardless of if they last for many years or just a few minutes. I will not lie or feel shame about my desire to have sex with many people. I will express my sexuality in whatever way I feel fit for me at that point in time, whether it be femme, butch  or any of the rainbow of other shades. I accept that this is influenced by many things, including the patriarchy we live in, but not solely. I will use my voice and my actions to disrupt pre and misconceptions of that sexuality.  I will not fall into the duality of madonna or whore. I am a whole person with many facets. As a sexual being, many of those facets have to do with my sexuality, but it is not the only way I will be valued. 



Miss Poppy Cox hosts our last ever screening of Bike Smut in London.
@ Old St from 9pm (18s only)

April 25, 2016

Carbon Life vs Silicon Valley. The Last Ever Bike Smut in SF

Time to Back that Bay up! We got a hard drive in our bike shorts and we know where to put it

This Cinco de Mayo (5/5) will be the last ever presentation of Bike Smut in San Francisco!
Our last ever show in LA is just two days later!

photo of our fab tourista in Delores Park

SF is where an extraordinary number of cultural bicycle phenomenon has its origin. Specifically there are two major events that overlap their idealism of decentralized organization and helped Bike Smut grow and disseminate across the planet.

#1 Critical Mass
The world's largest, most common and least centrally organized group ride. It was originally called "Commute Clot" but it seems the original organizers were again ahead of the times realizing that alliteration has its downsides, an awareness we hope to never need negotiate. For those who are uninitiated it has helped connect bicycle enthusiasts around the world. The ride had a substantial effect on cities, not just because cycling is cool but because making space for humans transforms how a city feels.

two posters from the influential Mona Caron

In fact Critical Mass was so important, so formative that we made a feature-length documentary about its effect and why it no longer exists in Portland, the most active city for bicycle culture. Aftermass is a fascinating exploration of a community taking back the streets in the face of brutal, militaristic actions and illegal spying via the Portland Police Bureau. Thankfully Critical Mass still happens in San Francisco on the last Friday of the month: Friday, April 29th!

#2 Bike Summer
Local bike groups worked together to create and inspire their respective communities (roadies, commuters, wonks and whathaveyou) to host rides, workshops, potlucks and really anything that could involve traveling from point A to B on a bike. This took some organizing but the results were immediate. A new community would be born with awareness of itself. Before there was only awkward glances while waiting at traffic lights but now there was the impetus to engage and celebrate and support. Each year a month of events in a North American city helped galvanize the locals and each year the locals would look around after a month of delirious bike-fun people would realize Bike Summer was about to end and ask the question, "We don't have to stop doing this do we?"

From SF to Vancouver BC, to Chicago, to Portland, to New York City, to (almost) Seattle, to Los Angeles and on! We are unsure if Bike Summer still exists but we recently spoke to people in New South Wales, Australia about them hosting something similar in the future (making

But even if BikeSummer never officially happens again it has already inspired many reoccuring events around the world including Chicago's Bike Winter which has been doing it since the end of the 20th century, the short lived MiniBikeSummer, which has since morphed into the month long mindfuck of bike events that is Pedalpalooza, (last year there was 300 events in 24 days) and one of our personal favorites: MiniBikeWinter, where all good ideas go to die:

This event which was cofounded by revphil and has been organized by Zoobomb every dead president's weekend for 12 years; because you don't need dead presidents for free fun... but you should consider health care.

These events were seminal to the founding of Bike Smut. Not only did they help install our film festival with excellent values (creating space for others to share challenging ideas... seems more radical than ever) but more crucially Critical Mass and Bike Summer helped form a bikesexual culture around the world that contributed to Bike Smut. The ideals of the xerocracy, egalitarianism, and DIY all made it easier for artists to feel comfortable by being supported in their respective social groups. These principles help challenge the status quo norms and are essential to building healthy communities to replace the patriarchal dependence, shame and discouragement that comes when we don't take control of our mobility or sexuality.

Bike Smut as a touring film festival is ending with this, our final program.

Lets help these ideas flourish for the next generation

April 12, 2016

The Passing of our Naked Defender

Regular readers will note that this blog refers to itself in the plural, "we" rather than "I". This is because Bike Smut has been propelled by the faceless mass of legs and genitals that rarely get the limelight. By using plural pronouns we have tried to keep that awareness that Bike Smut is more than one person's ideas. Nevemind that of the (oooh!) 1009 posts that have been made over the past decade all but about 9 of them were written by one person. That one person is Reverend Phil, the founder and curator of Bike Smut. For the remainder of this post I am stepping out of my normal role into something more personal, and as such, will use the singular.

While contemplating the future of Bike Smut's final tour. I learned some sad news regarding the passing of a good friend.

In 2006 I was arrested after being hit by a drunk driver during Portland's World Naked Bike Ride. The following story of my arrest and subsequent triumph in the legal system is due to the creative and diligent effort of my recently deceased lawyer, Stu Sugarman.

During most naked bike rides there comes a point where everyone looks around and wonders, “Will it actually happen?” No one wants to be the first person to get naked but you don’t really want to be the last either. In that moment it helps to have someone boldly announce “Now is the time! Take your clothes off and ride your bikes!” I was loud and I’ve never much cared for society’s rules regarding the obscenity of the naked body.  Clothes can be a great thing and provide many functions. Fashion, comfort, warmth, and protection all have their place. But the function of supporting patriarchal norms that make feeling shame about not living up to the impossible standards we see in the mass media? No, that is not a function I care for. So with my loud voice and marginal appreciation of pants I was invited to be the ride leader.

It was a beautiful night. Full of joyous screams of laughter and delight. The simple act of being naked returns us to a sort of child-like innocence as our assumed roles in adult life are shed as quickly as skivvies. When a community embraces these ideals we can see the result reflected in those around us as we are left with only our skin, bare for all without shame. As hundreds of cyclists rode together the city streets seemed to come alive. The sidewalks teemed with cheering onlookers overcome with the irreverence of naked bodies taking back the streets. The ride toured around downtown and while heading south on 3rd we turned right onto Burnside. Its a busy street and a handful of cars were already lining up. For the most part its better to keep cars with cars and bikes with bikes; you can imagine the danger of having distracted drivers among naked bikers.

I rode up to cork the intersection and expressed my condolences to the delayed drivers whom were all completely satisfied to sit and watch the parade. All but one driver, Amanda Truscot who through the haze of various intoxicants proceed to honk her horn, flash her lights, rev her engine, lurch her SUV then proceeded to knock me down pinning my bike under her car. It was a bad enough scene but with the addition of off-duty Portland Police Officer,  Chad Stensgaard as the passenger it became absurd. I was soon cuffed and stuffed and had a variety of misdemeanors filed against me all for keeping vulnerable road users safe!

I was pretty upset, but thankfully my friend Catherine told me she knew a good lawyer who did some probono work for many activists. Many of his cases were for defending animal rights and other more nature-oriented environmental actions; but I had got a good story so maybe he would be willing to help me out. I didn’t expect I would gain a good friend.

Initially things were touch and go between us. I had been warned that like many of the people he defended, Stu Sugarman could be difficult. At one point, and with great bluster, he told me I was wrong about a detail of our case. I proved his mistake which he acknowledged and we refocused on our case. It was a small thing but in that moment we both accepted how easy it is to be wrong and that both of us were more concerned with bigger issues.

The court case rolled on for a year with several delays. Finally we had become so confident that we were going to make the DA look like an idiot we had a model dress up like Lady Justice astride a bicycle complete with white robes, scales and a U-Lock instead of a sword. The image looked great and we printed up a thousand “Naked Justice” posters. The day before our trial Stu went to the DA and presented him with one saying that he expected tomorrow to be “a lot of fun.”
“Are there are lot of these?” the DA asked woefully.
Stu gleefully replied, “Oh yeah, they are all over town! See ya tomorrow!”

The DA dismissed all charges shortly afterward. I was relieved that it was over but sad to not have the case go to trial. Stu and I became good friends and our mutual love of nature encouraged us to explore Oregon’s fabulous environment including surfing the Oregon Coast.

The next year the Portland World Naked Bike Ride doubled in size. The year after it doubled and the following year it doubled. It carried on doubling each year until our recent ride of approximately 12 thousand naked bikers.  Stu had become a mainstay of our naked legal observers support team. He and other lawyers were eager to keep a keen watch out so that no other cyclists would fall the same fate as me. Stu saw it as our civic duty to protest our nation’s dependence on fossil fuels, the dominance of cars in our cities, and the shame associated with our bodies. He had been an avid cyclists in his younger days, touring across the Southeast region of the United States and he was a consummate defender of nature.

Thank you, Stu, for lending your voice to protect our freedom to assemble. Tho it should not have to be posthumously you are hereto be remembered as one of Bike Smut's most vaulted supporters, as a Hero de Bike Smut.

photo credit to Jonathan Maus of

March 14, 2016

Science Friction in Bristol

Whew that was refreshing!  We at Bike Smut have been enjoying the longest break from screenings in 8 years!  From November to April we have only been riding bikes, having sex and sometimes not at the same time and frequently not documenting it! What a mind fuck!

But as enjoyable as this vacation from perpetual traveling and sharing radical, DIY, bike pornography we are delighted to be working on a series of shows in California and across Western Europe! Moreover this is our last year of touring Bike Smut so its about time we started sharing the smut while it is good and hot!

First up is the lovely city of Bristol, England. Located on the west coast of the Atlantic it features a temperate climate with lots of exciting topography. Still that doesn't stop the cyclists from putting the fun between their legs!

Our first time in Bristol was a madhouse! It included a massive minibike racing playground, Minotaur and other bands, DJs, dance parties, live nude on bike drawing, and a original dance performance by Les Velobici! The weekend was captured by the dedicated Captain Bike Beard who has been tickling the various bicycle punk sub cultures of Europe for many years.

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction in Bristol
Saturday, 23 April
Cube Microplex
20h, £6 advance, £8 on the door
FaceCrack Event Page
Bike Smut, the world's one and only erotic bicycle film festival, makes its much awaited return to Bristol. After a sold out show at the Cube two years ago, Bike Smut will return with an entirely new program of short films celebrating human-powered transportation and sex-positive culture.

November 3, 2015

Burning Down the Fort Collins

Today we turn our way back machine to the gradually intensifying bikesexual outpost of Ft. Collins. If you were repopulating the United States with bikesexuals we might assume one would start on the West Coast and spread across the planet like a joyously liberated plague of happy-go-fucky, DIY space elves. And while Salt Lake has generated vastly more bikesexual energy than would otherwise be expected the Rockey Mountains are quite formidable and the plains that follow are quite... plain. After Ft Collins you don't get much support until you hit Kansas City which only properly came into the bikesexual fold last Spring.

Initially the FoCo provided a significant challenge of its own. With grounded institutions like Tour d Fat and other diversions the brutal work of daily bikesexual intifada seems silly. The drivers are often polite (compared to other places in Colorado) the people are pretty liberated and have a lot of opportunities to be playful in the streets so maybe Bike Smut is not really needed there.

We saw there was a general appreciation of the ideas inherent to Bike Smut, although there was more than the expected amount of intimidate concern when a person found out that pornography could be blended with bicycles. Still we assumed that with the proper amount of lubrication we could relax this small town's over clenched sphincter.  We just didn't know how much social lube it would take.

The answer: a fuckload

That was a cold night but the kegs did keep us somewhat warm considering all the nudity and our support of another nonprofit that refused to accept our help. No matter, when it comes to raising awareness we are always on display.

coincidentally this is at least the 3rd time we have used this image on so if ever anyone was gonna owe some naked people money it would def be
 The years went on and we found ourselves playing shows at university rooms there were mysteriously, and conveniently made available to us and for a couple years a nonprofit tool sharing group called HammerTime! It was up for a few years but the nature of organizing people into sharing stuff is not very profitable, alas. Then when Bike Smut was really kicking filmmaker ass with bigger name directors and people spending actual money on producing some impressive fucking art we had no venues left! All was dire until a place we had given up on years before started returning our calls. Like us they had been doing the hard work of sharing independent film for many years and now we were finally able to make the connection. Presenting one of the finest micro cinemas in the west:

For 3 years they have hosted our film festival, never mind the  burden we place on each other because we are both so fucking independent! We make it work because it is worth it to have quality DIY artistic expressions of sexuality and mobility made available in an excellent, comfortable venue.

Plus they have great beer. Wont you join us?

Tuesday November 11th 
Lyric Cinema Cafe 
300 E Mountain Ave
9:30 pm - with live performance
$10 - less if you ride your bike or are a member.   Get tickets now!
Its a really great venue! Save yourself some money and join up!

This is the last screening of Bike Smut in Ft. Collins. So it is likely that this is the last time you will be encouraged to get naked, lie on the freezing ground and form a giant "350" in order to bring attention to how many days of the year we are expected to wear pants.
We have scheduled 3 of our 4 Colorado shows. Only Boulder is left, waiting in the lurch. What will happen?

Sing our swan song, Lyric!

October 31, 2015

Happy BikeFucking Halloween

Its time for our never before annual punnishment post, where we make lots of lame jokes by replacing our normal vocabulary with phrases like, "Good as Ghoul" and ... eh actually no we don't need any sort of holiday to make talking like an idiot more appropriate because we do that kinda think nearly every time we post.

Given that we are coming up on a return to Colorado with screenings in Denver, Ft Collins, Boulder and Colorado Springs in November and that it is another political season it seemed appropriate to share some of our back log of exciting images from years past. Prepare your saddle for our way in the back machine as we travel to this date in 2008!

Seven years ago we had a plucky crew of reverend phil, Josh and Spencer aka Team Twink traversing the US Southwest on a mountain-bike-polo-porno-adventure. Politics were in high season. John McCain and Sarah Palin were on a similar wavelength: go to Colorado and convince people that we are not only amusing to listen to, we also have some really valuable ideas on politics.  It would seem Bike Smut was a little more successful than McCain/Palin 08.

 So it was that we would ride bikes with some of the finest, most creative mtn bike freaks on earth in the town of Durango, Colorado

perhaps a modified Gumby Twink costume...

hella political... no matter what year it is

The sweet babes were naturally drawn to our casual, pornographer-about-small-town ways

naturally, a photoshoot broke out

baldness became fashionable

The Rally of the Dead became a full on rolleskater disco

occasionally bursts of romance would burst like so many popping veins
notice the cross of Bicycle Jesus. For formal occasions only.

way before Twilight there was... a delightful bloody mess

some asshole parked on the dance floor. It probably wasn't us!

 roll up and grind down

an epic story about this, Baily's frame should be documented. but not here. Suffice it to say if you know where it is buried you could grave rob a sweet frame.

more responsible consumption continued throughout the following day and night

We never did actually check this person's ID. prb for the best that we didn't

An impressive assortment of boning happened on the award table

 the following day was a lot of bike polo, played on grass, right in the middle of town

grass polo... its a thing, especially in Colorado

nothing would stop us from standing and observing others.

we do suffer for the art... well someone does anyway.

Presenting the team that traveled the farthest to loose a polo game on grass: The Pork Barrels

free hugs?

So here is where we wish you a Happy Halloween. Also something about politics and a cute play on words to make this entire blog post seem well thought out.

- the end

October 19, 2015

Colorado BikeSexual Conclusion

Bike Smut has been visiting Colorado since our first year and every city (Denver, Boulder, Ft Collins and Colorado Springs) has been good and/or challenging to Bike Smut from year to year. For example during our very visit to Denver, Gabe, our bravest tourista was riding his customized minibike on the extra slippery skate park and in a terrifyingly casual, comical slip and crash he broke his femur at the hip. Thinking he had dislocated his hip he requested we try and yank his leg back into place. For hours we tore at his body, Lost Jeff on his arms and RevPhil at his feet, pulling with all out might and ripping his body to shreds as the bone cut and pinched the inflamed area around his broken leg bone.


This surface is too safe to walk on, much less bike on

After it started to snow the skateboarders began to heckle us to call a fucking ambulance already. We, the survivors rode along the rive bike path to meet him at the the hospital where we found a car had flipped over the embankment, causing a traffic jam and stalling the ambulance.


In our second year we let the locals take the beating. A BDSM trio pierced and hung cogs and other bike parts from a young bearded man with nice tattoos. Then one girl held him while the other beat him lovingly/savagely with tubes, tires, tools and a heavy and immensely painful brake cable flogger.


Just before we took part in a "desa-crat" obscene-poses-with-public-art-photo-scavenger bike race. I think we were "extra winners."


"Tea-Bagging the broom is OK"

Year three we were facing a freezing snow storm and also overlapping with our not so smutty rivals, the Bicycle Film Festival


But our team of artists manipulated some of their posters and a local volunteered to be bound and suspended during the show.


And so it continued up until last year when an excellent local journalist wrote a story about us for Vice Magazine. Now we are in our 9th and final time in Colorado and although in the EIGHT prior years we never received a single submission from Colorado this year we have not one, not two BUT THREE separate films from Denver artists! In short means this is gonna be one of the best shows and parties of the year.

Sunday November 8
Voodoo Comedy Playhouse
1260 22nd Street
7 & 9 pm - TWO SHOWS!
Tickets are available now $8 advance, $10 at door
Live performances from Reecy Pontiff, a team of solid gold roller skaters, and the dorkiest, SciFi choke-out or make-out battle of all time! 
Limited Seating, 18+, FB event


Venue theater, bar, and restrooms are all wheelchair accessible and located on the 1st floor.
Please contact any of the hosts directly with private questions, needs, or concerns.

 but that's not all.

  • 6pm Registration will be at Governor's Park (8th and Logan) s
  • 7pm Race start!
  • Prizes will be awarded to Most Overall Points, First Women, First Men, and Best Costume.
  • $5 to enter. No bag or lock required but you will need a camera!
  • After party shenanigans with a keg of New Belgium beer.


Tuesday Nov 10th at the Lyric Cinema in Ft. Collins 

Photos (above) via Gabriel Amadeus and Josh Neverfindme
Stills (below) from Do Bicycle Dream of Electric Humans, The Purple Ladies and Orgasmatronics