July 14, 2016

The Final Tiny Sausage Fest... in Vienna!

This Thursday we share our amazing program in Vienna, with Miss Poppy Cox!
July 14th
Bike Kitchen
goldschlagstrasse 8, 1150 Wien
8pm,  5 euros suggested donation
With special guest performances 

July 8, 2016

WNBR is back in the Buff

Get those bikes rolling smooth its time to Ride naked! Again!

Buffalo hosts its 2nd ever World Naked Bike Ride! 
Saturday, July 9th at 7pm at the corner North and Franklin

The ride is "as bare as you dare" so even the timid are encouraged to join the ride in support. There is no worry about being naked enough. However many started the ride fully dressed then because they saw so many naked people having such a good time have felt the urge to strip off more and more clothes as they ride. It is likely that you may be wearing something (if you want) but you wont be alone. Naked Rides attract dozens if not hundreds (or in the case of Portland and Chicago, thousands) of riders! Many silly prudes react in shock and horror as they exclaim, "but what if i have a problem with the seat? What if I hit a bump?" as if your naked body will somehow engulf the entire saddle and you will be stuck like that forever as some sort of bike-human-hybrid. (A version of that story has already been written but feel free to make that into a short movie if you like.) How absurd! Do you really think a thin piece of fabric is the only thing keeping your saddle from becoming a dildo? Pashaw!

Riding naked feels great! As the sun, wind and even rain kiss our bare skin we are reminded of our humanity. The WNBR is a rare treat because our patriarchal expectations that prohibit mothers from breast feeding their babies have put such an impossible standards on all of us that many never want to go outside, much less expose our skin. But there is nothing "natural" about clothes.

Even with the vast amount of body shame and terror at being vulnerable on our streets the World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) is a wildly popular event. Even the local Buffalo newspaper couldn't help but promote it  Although some want to ride completely nude we encourage comfortable footwear and maybe a fannypack or bag you can attach to your handlebars for your essentials.

Its a protest against body shame and car culture. Riding is a great way to bring visibility to a cause so start thinking about what slogans you might want to share.

Body painting may be available, but coming pre-decorated is recommended. A full body painting takes a while to apply, so plan accordingly. Also there is a really fun afterparty planned so be ready for that!

You may also want to decorate your bike. Its a great way to show the connection between you and your mobility. You move together and you play together and you trust your very survival on its steadfast reliability. You both deserve to look great!

Easy there, its not just about bikes. Any human powered people are welcome to attend. Rollerblade, skateboards, shopping carts or just joggers! It a celebration of our bodies and our streets!

Can't ride but want to support? Spectators are encouraged to congregate at the intersection of Bidwell Parkway and Elmwood Avenue around 8 p.m. Get more info by putting your nose in their FaceCrack, er... ButtBook, uh FB

photo cred to BikePortland.org

June 9, 2016

World Naked Bike Ride, Las Vegas, Baby!

Its naked bike ride season! Get your bewbs and your butts and your bodies ready to ride!

We have been covering and uncovering the World Naked Bike Ride since our inception in 2007. The future of Bike Smut is still unknown but we are confident the ideals inherent to biking naked will carry on!

This weekend for the first time ever the denizens of the City of Sin are encouraged to bare their bodies to the reality of modern living which include (but are not limited to):
  • Shame and ridicule for having bodies that are not up to Hollywood standards
  • Exposure to auto emissions
  • Sunburns
  • Traffic
  • Seeing others naked bodies
  • Others seeing your naked body
  • Fun times

Its an odd thing but when enough people gather together to do something that would normally be dangerous or even off-putting, it suddenly becomes acceptable... even patriotic! Such is the nature of  community standards. If the community decides that it doesn’t find nudity offensive then its not offensive. Shall we just blindly inherent our sense of morals from our fore-bearers, who inherited theirs from some stuffy Victorian sense of puritanical propriety? NAY! We must proudly examine our taboos with great trepidation (and a pinch of zeal) so as to avoid continuing lame traditions that at best may have suited a community for its time but were never meant to be carried on so long and at worse should never have been considered in the first place.

The Erotic Museum has made a pledge to help protect our individual right to explore sexuality freely and without shame or coercion. So the "Bare As You Dare" idea of the World Naked Bike Ride fits in perfectly. This idea has not escaped our local media. Rosalie Spear of the Las Vegas Weekly made it their front page story this week:
In our society, the human body is highly sexualized, and its public baring is usually deemed a criminal offense.  The World Naked Bike Ride already occurs annually in more than 75 cities in over 20 countries. This peaceful political protest celebrates our natural form in a non-sexual manner while calling attention to the world’s dependence on fossil fuels. Riding nude suggests a dichotomy, between being vulnerable yet empowered.
That may be the most concise, intellectual way that idea has been expressed. Take a moment to imagine being a driver in a car and seeing many naked bikers. You likely would give them more room because, "I don't want to hit them, they are naked!" Yet you could pass every other biker without a second thought about their safety. As if clothes offered sufficient protection. A case study showed that drivers passed closer to cyclists wearing bike helmets, presumably because they were less concerned about hitting them so it stands to reason naked bikers would be even safer!

Moreover, Las Vegas may be the most difficult place to bike in North America. Having traveled across much of the country we can say with certainty that there are aspects that are absolutely brutal. Most major roads feel more like highways with more active traffic entering and exiting from all the businesses. They both often have 3,  4 or more lanes of travel and lights that are timed for travel at speeds that are near impossible for bikers to maintain. The neighborhood streets in between major arteries often result in dead ends leaving the unwary biker right where they started, only more dehydrated as the endless asphalt keeps the desert heat long into the night. This compounded with half the population visiting from elsewhere, being encouraged to drink and gamble all day and night with the comfort that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.


Though all this we find a way. Like many bikers in other cities we learn techniques for mitigating risk. We ride in packs when possible. We learn safer routes and times but there are still a lot of people on the margins. People who haven't been riding long, or haven't thought to look for a different route. By building a stronger community we make it possible for us to organize and improve the conditions for everyone.

This is actually really important because this joyous parade is protected part of our freedom of expression. The people have the right to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. Say it proud what you think, or better yet, show up early and write your ideas on your skin. You know loads of people will be reading your thoughts (as long as its not too wordy).

This is a WORLD naked bike ride. It happens in dozens of places all over the world. We can help each other by letting people know where to join a naked ride in




Mexico City,


If you would like to host a ride of your own you can start it by adding your location to this ever expanding list of rides.

While at the museum ask to ride the world's largest sex bike 

Its no wonder that the WNBR and Bike Smut are such good friends. It is only with the autonomy of our own bodies independence that we can feel free to explore freely (or conversely, give up that freedom to a trusted dominant partner).

Its your body! Its your life! Expose it as you will without the burden of patriarchal norms that should have been phased out more than a century ago. Bring a friend and join us as we take to the streets in Las Vegas' First ever World Naked Bike Ride!

Saturday, June 11th
Erotic Museum
3275 Sammy Davis Jr Drive
6PM  Free food, Free beverages, vendors, bike mechanics, tabling, body painting and live DJ!

Please register here so we have enough goodies for everyone!

June 3, 2016

NYC Porn Film Fest!

A festival of Porn in New York City? Why yes, this weekend is the NYC Porn Film Festival!

JebusTits, there is so much porn in one room:
  • Bushwick Arts Festival
  • Ryan Sullivan’s ISLAND + panel discussion of barebacking in contemporary porn
  • Katie Rex & panel explores pornography in feminist culture/its positive affirmations in the lives of the performers & viewers
  • The Social Sex Revolution: Cindy Gallop and associates for 2 short talks and a screening of MakeLoveNotPorn.tv
  • Oskur Garcia presents: "Anthropocene" Anarchco-queer-porn curator from Berlin
  • AK Burns & A.L. Steiner's 69-minute sociosexual film about community

  • Porn as a tool to legitimize a visual aesthetic while transforming it into a categorized fetish
  • Mistress Dahlia Rain's introduction to financial domination

  • Dale Cooper presents PIRACY!
  • Bike Smut: Interracial alien orgies, power-tool wielding lesbians, Mexican post-porn saddle squirting
  • Antonio Onio's Loose Holes, A selection of shorts that examine how technology effects sex
  • Max Bernstein presents... Comedians talk about pornography.
  • Gerry Visco & Ron Jeremy present 'The Golden Age of Porn' Screening of the film: JOY + panel discussion

  • Daliah Saper presents Revenge Porn: high profile cases, discuss legal issues & the unstoppable streams of distribution.
  • Furrie Culture & Sex The subculture of Furry involves anthropomorphic animal characters

  • Alfred Bruyas presents "Unkempt" collected pornography by video artists united in their use of noise and mess.

There's some heavy hitters of the porn world in this lineup and Bike Smut is honored to be included among them. The issues of art and porn have, largely, been the issues of distribution.  Of the 16 different programs offered this weekend EIGHT of them are directly addressing this issue. 
We don't talk about it very often but Bike Smut has some challenging politics.

Most of the movies that are made for us are not distributed anywhere else. A few of our filmmakers are established pornographers but most at not.  For the kindergarten teachers and the military officers and the nonprofit directors and everyone else whose lives would be ruined if the wrong people saw them in a remotely sexual movie Bike Smut is a rare creative outlet of expression. 

We don't entrust these originally created pornographic films in the hands of just anyone, so we can't just mail copies of the program or send screeners to the media. There has to be a lot of trust and that trust is earned over many years, not given.
So we have to be there in person. But then its a pretty big bikesexual world. How can we be in all the places that ask us? We would like to be able to put our genitals where our mouths are but traveling everywhere by bicycle is difficult and time consuming (trust us, we rode 10k miles across North America and Europe for The Porny Express). We are left with the choice of flight. Which is amazing. If you fly often you could easily not appreciate the marvel of massive jets zooming across the sky. But its also really fucking lame. It takes a lot more crude Iraqi blood to make that refined jet fuel and just as with the auto industry, the true cost is hidden from us via a mountain of subsidies and deferments as the ecological toll will be paid by the next generation.

So, for our hyper-transportationally aware selves, flying, like consuming meat, should be done infrequently with great appreciation. Will there be another NYC screening in the future? Only the future will tell.  Take it all in while you can!

Possibly the last ever Bike Smut screening in New York City

Sunday, June 5
315 Ten Eyck Street

May 28, 2016

The bell tolls for Philly bikesexuals

Real Talk Philadelphia,

We have raced bikes, showed erotica, watched a car burn... all good times! But no matter how much love i profess for your pretzels, cheezsteaks and massive sculptures of the gates of hell (thx Rodin) I still feel daunted by your lack of brotherly love.

can ya feel the love now?

We have had some amazing times. Our 1st ever team went there in 2008, stranded, after your venue that was so excited to host us said a day before we were to arrive, "Oh, its porn! We can't show that... I thought it was bike porn, like ski porn" But on a whim we walked into a mosaic museum, debated paying the $3 and then noticed the subtle but frequent amount of sex and bike parts on display. A moment later I asked a person who looked like the janitor a couple questions and then he told us we should show our erotic bicycle films right there, that night, and sure enough there we were, in the bowels of Philadelphia's Magic Gardens watching our movies bounce of the glass walls making 1000 points of ‪#‎bikeporn‬ light.

Our last show was 2 years ago with the Porny Express. While Reverend Phil was in the midst of riding his bike from Minneapolis to Mexico the talented Reecy Pontiff sung about falling under the lofty charms of "The Girl on the Tallest Tallbike in Town" to the radical queers. Each year all of the people were beside themselves wanting to bring it back better "next year"

All have failed.

I do not accept the excuse of, "That's hare things are in ___ (name a place)" because they say that everywhere. Your eccentric people are just as unreliable as the next. But still you have a chance. This is the final screening of Bike Smut in Philadelphia. Maybe somehow history will stop repeating itself? Maybe you know someone. Then you could invite them with you to see the LAST EVER screening of Bike Smut in Philly!

As you may know, Bike Smut is in its 9th and FINAL year of touring. But before it is over we are taking a final shot at Philadelphia! It has been two years since Bike Smut: Bike Porn which means you will get to see the best of both our 8th and 9th year of programing!

  BEFORE THE SHOW we are putting together a special panel discussion to engage the sexual organ between your ears.


Friday June 3rd
Wooden Shoe Books and Records
704 South Street
7pm "Future of Sex" Panel Talk
8pm Show!
$7 donation (no one turned away for lack of funds)
Limited Seating, 18+

photo by qbarmatt

Or if not, maybe we will just go eat some pretzels. They are almost worth the suffering.

May 7, 2016

Working the Sausage in Nuremburg

If you search the Internet for "nuremberger" all you get is a sausage fest. Not dick pics, literally butchered meats in long, narrow enclosures. Fitting, because it seems probable that Bavaria invented partying while feasting on sausage and named it after a month in the Autumn (even tho they do it everyday). It doesn't matter if you order a hot dog in Hamburg or a Salisbury Steak in Frankfurt, these conventions do not apply. It might not make much sense to our New World food categorizations which tell us that while its true that both are cylinders of ground up animal parts one is a flat disk without a casing and the other is a long tube.

the end result of being a sausage around Miss Poppy Cox
Your complete awareness of this information is not required to watch Bike Smut this Sunday night at the Nürnberger Fahrrad-Film-Festvial. Still, Miss Poppy Cox wants to totally go all Bavarian with you! Enjoy a bright white sausage party with beer and pretzels and the world's finest collection of erotic bicycle films at the International Cycling Film Festival!

 Just listen to these efficient German verbiage:

Der Höhepunkt des 4NFFF: A Festival of Radical Pleasure!
Bei Bike Smut gibt es kurze, erotische Filme auf zwei Reifen.
Mehr verraten wir nicht vorher - wer Bike Smut erleben will, muss es erleben!

Nürnberg - Casablanca Theatre
Samstag, 7. Mai, 22:50 Uhr

Yeah! Yer damn right we Sprechen Sie Deutsch! Get your bike-fucking tickets online, now!

more info about this randy fahrrad film festival at the adorably named URL:  www.casa.bike

May 4, 2016

The Alpha and Omega of Porn

This is the end of bikesexual times. For the lord did say unto me, take heed, for I am the alpha and omega, the semination and termination of porn.

Bless the beasts and the bicycles; keep the Sabbath wholey

Saturday, May 7
Church of Fun

April 29, 2016

Last Ever Bike Smut in London!

 Miss Poppy Cox is the original Spokeslut 

in her own words
On the term, "Spokeslut" and how it was meant to shame me for my slutty nature. (I’m just some bimbo that is so brainwashed by the patriarchy that I cannot see how fucked up the image I created is.)
I thought I would write my own personal slut manifesto. A declaration of how I want to live my life. I thought it might provide some inspiration or at least clarification for the rest of you out there. So here it is:

I will have as much or as little sex as I want, with whomever I am mutually attracted to, regardless of race, adult age or gender identity. This will fluctuate throughout my life and I will not feel bad for having more sex or less sex than is usual for myself, or whatever amount society wants to deem is correct. In my sexual interactions, I will always strive to be honest, open, and fulfill my desires as well as my partners, regardless of if they last for many years or just a few minutes. I will not lie or feel shame about my desire to have sex with many people. I will express my sexuality in whatever way I feel fit for me at that point in time, whether it be femme, butch  or any of the rainbow of other shades. I accept that this is influenced by many things, including the patriarchy we live in, but not solely. I will use my voice and my actions to disrupt pre and misconceptions of that sexuality.  I will not fall into the duality of madonna or whore. I am a whole person with many facets. As a sexual being, many of those facets have to do with my sexuality, but it is not the only way I will be valued. 



Miss Poppy Cox hosts our last ever screening of Bike Smut in London.
@ Old St from 9pm (18s only)

April 25, 2016

Carbon Life vs Silicon Valley. The Last Ever Bike Smut in SF

Time to Back that Bay up! We got a hard drive in our bike shorts and we know where to put it

This Cinco de Mayo (5/5) will be the last ever presentation of Bike Smut in San Francisco!
Our last ever show in LA is just two days later!

photo of our fab tourista in Delores Park

SF is where an extraordinary number of cultural bicycle phenomenon has its origin. Specifically there are two major events that overlap their idealism of decentralized organization and helped Bike Smut grow and disseminate across the planet.

#1 Critical Mass
The world's largest, most common and least centrally organized group ride. It was originally called "Commute Clot" but it seems the original organizers were again ahead of the times realizing that alliteration has its downsides, an awareness we hope to never need negotiate. For those who are uninitiated it has helped connect bicycle enthusiasts around the world. The ride had a substantial effect on cities, not just because cycling is cool but because making space for humans transforms how a city feels.

two posters from the influential Mona Caron

In fact Critical Mass was so important, so formative that we made a feature-length documentary about its effect and why it no longer exists in Portland, the most active city for bicycle culture. Aftermass is a fascinating exploration of a community taking back the streets in the face of brutal, militaristic actions and illegal spying via the Portland Police Bureau. Thankfully Critical Mass still happens in San Francisco on the last Friday of the month: Friday, April 29th!

#2 Bike Summer
Local bike groups worked together to create and inspire their respective communities (roadies, commuters, wonks and whathaveyou) to host rides, workshops, potlucks and really anything that could involve traveling from point A to B on a bike. This took some organizing but the results were immediate. A new community would be born with awareness of itself. Before there was only awkward glances while waiting at traffic lights but now there was the impetus to engage and celebrate and support. Each year a month of events in a North American city helped galvanize the locals and each year the locals would look around after a month of delirious bike-fun people would realize Bike Summer was about to end and ask the question, "We don't have to stop doing this do we?"

From SF to Vancouver BC, to Chicago, to Portland, to New York City, to (almost) Seattle, to Los Angeles and on! We are unsure if Bike Summer still exists but we recently spoke to people in New South Wales, Australia about them hosting something similar in the future (making

But even if BikeSummer never officially happens again it has already inspired many reoccuring events around the world including Chicago's Bike Winter which has been doing it since the end of the 20th century, the short lived MiniBikeSummer, which has since morphed into the month long mindfuck of bike events that is Pedalpalooza, (last year there was 300 events in 24 days) and one of our personal favorites: MiniBikeWinter, where all good ideas go to die:

This event which was cofounded by revphil and has been organized by Zoobomb every dead president's weekend for 12 years; because you don't need dead presidents for free fun... but you should consider health care.

These events were seminal to the founding of Bike Smut. Not only did they help install our film festival with excellent values (creating space for others to share challenging ideas... seems more radical than ever) but more crucially Critical Mass and Bike Summer helped form a bikesexual culture around the world that contributed to Bike Smut. The ideals of the xerocracy, egalitarianism, and DIY all made it easier for artists to feel comfortable by being supported in their respective social groups. These principles help challenge the status quo norms and are essential to building healthy communities to replace the patriarchal dependence, shame and discouragement that comes when we don't take control of our mobility or sexuality.

Bike Smut as a touring film festival is ending with this, our final program.

Lets help these ideas flourish for the next generation

April 12, 2016

The Passing of our Naked Defender

Regular readers will note that this blog refers to itself in the plural, "we" rather than "I". This is because Bike Smut has been propelled by the faceless mass of legs and genitals that rarely get the limelight. By using plural pronouns we have tried to keep that awareness that Bike Smut is more than one person's ideas. Nevemind that of the (oooh!) 1009 posts that have been made over the past decade all but about 9 of them were written by one person. That one person is Reverend Phil, the founder and curator of Bike Smut. For the remainder of this post I am stepping out of my normal role into something more personal, and as such, will use the singular.

While contemplating the future of Bike Smut's final tour. I learned some sad news regarding the passing of a good friend.

In 2006 I was arrested after being hit by a drunk driver during Portland's World Naked Bike Ride. The following story of my arrest and subsequent triumph in the legal system is due to the creative and diligent effort of my recently deceased lawyer, Stu Sugarman.

During most naked bike rides there comes a point where everyone looks around and wonders, “Will it actually happen?” No one wants to be the first person to get naked but you don’t really want to be the last either. In that moment it helps to have someone boldly announce “Now is the time! Take your clothes off and ride your bikes!” I was loud and I’ve never much cared for society’s rules regarding the obscenity of the naked body.  Clothes can be a great thing and provide many functions. Fashion, comfort, warmth, and protection all have their place. But the function of supporting patriarchal norms that make feeling shame about not living up to the impossible standards we see in the mass media? No, that is not a function I care for. So with my loud voice and marginal appreciation of pants I was invited to be the ride leader.

It was a beautiful night. Full of joyous screams of laughter and delight. The simple act of being naked returns us to a sort of child-like innocence as our assumed roles in adult life are shed as quickly as skivvies. When a community embraces these ideals we can see the result reflected in those around us as we are left with only our skin, bare for all without shame. As hundreds of cyclists rode together the city streets seemed to come alive. The sidewalks teemed with cheering onlookers overcome with the irreverence of naked bodies taking back the streets. The ride toured around downtown and while heading south on 3rd we turned right onto Burnside. Its a busy street and a handful of cars were already lining up. For the most part its better to keep cars with cars and bikes with bikes; you can imagine the danger of having distracted drivers among naked bikers.

I rode up to cork the intersection and expressed my condolences to the delayed drivers whom were all completely satisfied to sit and watch the parade. All but one driver, Amanda Truscot who through the haze of various intoxicants proceed to honk her horn, flash her lights, rev her engine, lurch her SUV then proceeded to knock me down pinning my bike under her car. It was a bad enough scene but with the addition of off-duty Portland Police Officer,  Chad Stensgaard as the passenger it became absurd. I was soon cuffed and stuffed and had a variety of misdemeanors filed against me all for keeping vulnerable road users safe!

I was pretty upset, but thankfully my friend Catherine told me she knew a good lawyer who did some probono work for many activists. Many of his cases were for defending animal rights and other more nature-oriented environmental actions; but I had got a good story so maybe he would be willing to help me out. I didn’t expect I would gain a good friend.

Initially things were touch and go between us. I had been warned that like many of the people he defended, Stu Sugarman could be difficult. At one point, and with great bluster, he told me I was wrong about a detail of our case. I proved his mistake which he acknowledged and we refocused on our case. It was a small thing but in that moment we both accepted how easy it is to be wrong and that both of us were more concerned with bigger issues.

The court case rolled on for a year with several delays. Finally we had become so confident that we were going to make the DA look like an idiot we had a model dress up like Lady Justice astride a bicycle complete with white robes, scales and a U-Lock instead of a sword. The image looked great and we printed up a thousand “Naked Justice” posters. The day before our trial Stu went to the DA and presented him with one saying that he expected tomorrow to be “a lot of fun.”
“Are there are lot of these?” the DA asked woefully.
Stu gleefully replied, “Oh yeah, they are all over town! See ya tomorrow!”

The DA dismissed all charges shortly afterward. I was relieved that it was over but sad to not have the case go to trial. Stu and I became good friends and our mutual love of nature encouraged us to explore Oregon’s fabulous environment including surfing the Oregon Coast.

The next year the Portland World Naked Bike Ride doubled in size. The year after it doubled and the following year it doubled. It carried on doubling each year until our recent ride of approximately 12 thousand naked bikers.  Stu had become a mainstay of our naked legal observers support team. He and other lawyers were eager to keep a keen watch out so that no other cyclists would fall the same fate as me. Stu saw it as our civic duty to protest our nation’s dependence on fossil fuels, the dominance of cars in our cities, and the shame associated with our bodies. He had been an avid cyclists in his younger days, touring across the Southeast region of the United States and he was a consummate defender of nature.

Thank you, Stu, for lending your voice to protect our freedom to assemble. Tho it should not have to be posthumously you are hereto be remembered as one of Bike Smut's most vaulted supporters, as a Hero de Bike Smut.

photo credit to Jonathan Maus of BikePortland.org