April 23, 2015

Come Again, Toronto!

Our bikesexual takeover of Canada rages on! We now have submissions from Vancouver, Montreal and finally, just this year, we have a submission from Toronto!

That itself is pretty exciting but we have a lot more than just films. We have an Bike Porn art show with loads of local artists submitting, two hot DJs and finally we are getting one of our favorite bands on earth Mineta to play!

Friday April 24
Soy Bomb - 156 Bathurst
$10-15 sliding scale
Our Face be Crackin!

Doors Open 8 PM
Screening Starts @ 9 PM
Mineta will be blowing the roof off ~ 11 PM
Dance Party will Start ~ Midnight

Opening on the Decks DJ Triple-X
Closing out the night w/ DJ Marius

April 6, 2015

Participa! ΔΔ Ciencia Fricción ΔΔ

Iluminación delantera y trasera cargada.
Lubricación a la viscosidad máxima.
Ajuste de genitales a nivel "impresionante".
Prepárate para viajar en el tiempo y en el espacio usando tu propio culo
... Es el momento de entrar en la zona de presentación ...

Bike Smut 9: Ciencia Fricción

La convocatoria anual para la presentación de bici-pornografía "Hecha por Ti Mismx" (HTM)!

Procedimento de 5 pasos para la satisfacción bicisexual
  • 1) Abre tu mente a las ideas bicisexuales. Contempla que te mantiene arriba y abajo de tu bicicleta.
  • 2) Invita amigxs intimxs a participar. Anota en la lista asistencia tecnológica para edición.
  • 3) Involucra partes de carbón, acero, aluminio o titanium. Maneje directo e impulsando hacia la satisfacción.
  • 4) Mezcle audio emocionalmente agradable y video provocativo en un film consensual de no más de 7mins.
  • 5) Participa! Envíalo por email en formato .mp4 .mov .wtf

¡SUBITO! ∆∆ Science Friction ∆∆

Luci anteriore e posteriore ricaricate
Lubrificazione alla massima viscosità
Impostare i genitali su sbalorditivo
Prepararsi a viaggiare nel tempo e nello spazio usando quel cazzo di culo

...è ora di entrare nella zona della sottomissione...

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction

La call annuale per la pornografia ciclica do-it-yourself

5 punti per raggiungere la completa soddisfazione bicisessuale

  •     1. Apri la tua mente alle idee bicisessuali. Considera cosa ti fa salire sulla bici e cosa ti fa scendere
  •     2. Fatti assistere da partner intimi fatti di carne. Recluta assistenza tecnologica per l'editing
  •     3. Coinvolgi parti in carbonio, acciaio, alluminio e titanio. Guida, curva e spingi fino a raggiungere la soddisfazione
  •     4. Mixa audio emozionali e video provocatori in un film consensuale non più lungo di 7 minuti
  •     5. MANDALO! Spedisci il video via email in formato .mp4 .mov .wtf

ENVOYEZ VOS FILMS ! ∆∆ Science Friction ∆∆

Lumières avant et arrière enclenchées
Viscosité de la lubrification à son maximum
Mise à feu des organes génitaux
Préparez-vous à voyager à travers l'espace temps en utilisant votre putain de cul !

... C'est le moment d'entrer dans la zone d'inscription ...

BIKE SMUT 9  : Science Friction

Appel à candidatures annuel pour films amateurs de pornographie à vélo !

5 points pour accéder à la satisfaction vélosexuelle
  • 1- S'ouvrir aux idées vélosexuelles. Observer ce qui vous met en selle et vous fait prendre votre pied.
  • 2- Inviter des partenaires charnels et intimes à participer. Recruter de l'aide pour les aspects techniques de la vidéo.
  • 3- Faire participer les pièces en carbone, acier, aluminium, titanium. Se diriger d'un coup de rein vers  la satisfaction.
  • 4- Mélanger des sons qui vous procurent du plaisir avec des images provocantes pour un film consenti de 7 minutes maximum.
  • 5- Envoyer le film ! Par email aux formats : .mp4 .mov .wtf

March 13, 2015


Bike Smut is proud to be part of CYBERSPUNK

A one-night-only Book Club Burlesque party inspired by William Gibson’s 1984 Science Fiction classic, Neuromancer. 

Cyberspunk is a participatory and literacy event. The audience is encouraged to read the book and dress to impress in their sexiest, most creative Neuromancer inspired style. The neon-noir novel is wrought with themes of virtual survival, man vs. machine, humanism sacrificed in the face of advancing technology, cyborg body manipulation and more. So naturally they got a special Bike Smut booth for exceptional futuristic viewing.
Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave, Tucson 
Doors at 8, party till late
$8-$20 cover, 21+ presale TICKETS@ www.artmatter.org

Call us Johnny Pneumatic cause we are pumping the morning-moaning hours away to deliver a tight package to Tucson, Saturday night!

March 6, 2015

SUBMIT! ∆∆ Science Friction ∆∆

Forward and aft lighting charged.
Lubrication to maximum viscosity.
Set genitals to stunning.
Prepare to travel through time and space using your own fucking ass

... its time to enter the submission zone ...

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction

The annual call for submissions for DIY bicycle pornography!

5 point process to bikesexual satisfaction
  • 1. Open mind to bikesexual ideas. Contemplate what gets you on bikes and what gets you off.
  • 2. Invite intimate flesh-based partners to assist. Enlist technological editing assistance.
  • 3. Engage carbon, steel, aluminum, titanium parts. Drive, direct and thrust to satisfaction.
  • 4. Mix emotionally-pleasing audio and provocative video into consensual film < 7 min
  • 5. SUBMIT! email send format .mp4 .mov .wtf 

March 5, 2015

Viva Las Velo

Las Vegas, a city of inspired, illuminated indulgence will soon be lighting up the night with our DIY erotic bicycle films!

Back in 2010 Bike Smut made its first bold moves into Nevada. Thu grit, strippers, manic determination and jello shots we provided a feast of the senses. Now 5 years later we are back and we are gonna bring one hell of a show to the City of Sin.

Saturday, March 7th
Erotic Heritage Museum

3275 South Industrial
9:00pm   donation   +18

fb event link

Moreover we are doing it at a place originally created between a partnership of a Preacher and a Pornographer, so it seems we are in the right place!

 photo credit:

February 25, 2015

Alas, Poor Queer Porn Tube, We Knew Them Well


We sometimes get fan mail, we would like to think that our bike-fucking fans are more prone to use proper syntax and grammar than other online hecklers but its hard to tell. No matter its time to do something about all this bikeporn suffering going around.

Earlier this year our amazing friend, Courtney Trouble issued this statement:
This morning I had to shut down QueerPornTube.Com because, for the eleventh-thousandth time, it crashed it’s own server. The bandwidth is just too high, especially since I added mobile capabilities. It really sucks to have to put one of my most popular sites on hold, but it’s broken, and I’m busy.
I feel like most porn should be paid for. It costs money to make, performers need to make a living, producers need to survive, new projects can’t be funded on critical acclaim alone.
However, a lot of porn that’s made in the queer community isn’t made for profit, it’s made for the art of it or a solid political message. Sometimes it’s just being made so the person who made it can be seen. I would say that the most important work that’s been made in the realm of queer porn wasn’t made for money, isn’t commercial, and should be accessable to those who desperately need positive imagery of queer lifestyles. Queer porn educated and inspires and sets trends in a world that discourages fluidity, sexuality, and the transfer of health and sexuality information.
This tube site is super important to me because I want people to see the kind of porn that queer people make. It’s crucial that our art and opinions are part of the larger conversation. And it’s crucial that it can be found for free.
QueerPornTube.Com needs a dedicated server, and a dedicated person to monitor and manage it. I am able to do this myself, but it’s always been a labor of love and something that I pay for out of pocket, because I need to to exist and I want it to exist.
So, hopefully I’ll be able to make it work again soon and I’ll bring it back up. It might be a week, it might be a month, it might be a year.
I apologize to those film makers out there using the service to hold their content – it WILL exist when the site goes back up. We may all need to go check out embedded video outputs as the HTML may change when the site gets properly upgraded. I’ll maintain my updates here in this post.
Thank you for your understanding, and God Save Queer Porn Tube! Eventually.
Courtney Trouble

Maybe some of you have seen how several of our favorite films are no longer visible online. Its a terrible thing because we have come to depend on Queer Porn Tube to help us share our rather radical message of human-powered transportation and sex-positive culture.  Now we are stuck hoping we can sneak videos onto some other server or deal with the kinda obnoxious advertisements of other, less ethical porno servers.

We will struggle on as best as we can.

February 24, 2015

Come Again in Your Bay Area!

From the South Bay to the East Bay to the (they never call it) West Bay, Bike Smut is involved in a serious Bay Area Reach Around!

We are jumping head first into the densely populated, surprisingly shallow waters!

pooping floatation devices is prohibited

OAKLAND    -   FaceCrack Link

Saturday February 28

Omni - 4799 Shattuck Ave.

  • doors at 8:30pm

  • show at 9:00pm


SAN FRANCISCO  -   FaceCrack Link

Tuesday, March 3rd

Balançoire - 2565 Mission St, 

  • doors at 6:30pm

  • show at 6:45pm


No lifeguard on duty.



February 17, 2015

Reaching Around the Cuntinent

Mexico, Mexicali, Calixo, California, Uber Allies?

We are back in the US!

After being treated to some of Mexico's finest flavors and a fuck load of new porn we are recharged to bring some great new cycloerotismo to the rest of North America!

Here is what we have planned for the next few months:

UPDATE: A secret screening and erotic book reading event is happening Thursday night!

This weekend we enjoyed a desert full of crazed bike fucks, next week we are slappin mallets with San Jose's finest bike jocks! (And their jock straps!) Afterthat we will retake the rest of The Bay. Working with our friends using direct democracy on the front lines fighting social injustice in Oakland and also friends using karaoke to bring out the silly drunks in SF.

In March we will end our 5 year hiatus of Las Vegas. It is a painful place to experience and even more difficult to live there (which explains the prevalence of cheep booze). But we go back and plan to dominate The Strip as well as the hordes of mindless consumers who will flock to our liberating loins like so many moths' mouths to our glowing bicycle fleshlights!

We celebrate EPIC PI DAY (3.14.15 @ 9:26.53PM MST) with those wild Tucson queers at CYBERSPUNK an erotic book club art show.

Then we blast up and over the East Coast, starting with Jacksonville then bouncing over to St Augustine (our first time ever) then working our way north to Montreal then west back to Cascadia... with stops in St Louis and Memphis.
 Lots of great shows and epic opportunities for the good touch... common, Hand Of God, give us that holey reach around!

Wanna feel the grace? Contact bikesmut@gmail.com for booking!