December 15, 2010

we're not drawing a blank

Holy illustrious bikesexuality! All this euro tour plotting has gotten us kinda behind schedule in our internetical sharing of quality, "sustainabilabro approved" erotica.
We are scheduling BikePorn 4:PLAY in forward cascadian cities in Jan/Feb 2011 as well as US Canadian border towns in March. Ottawa we got a little something for you!

This just in (and out, and in again) Victoria screening has been scheduled for Friday, Jan 28th! We shall return to the biker's island and look forward to the multiple live, locally produced performances that are going down in conjunction with our screening! Exclamations!

We are kinda anti numerology, but we are nontheless still excited to celebrate our four hundredth and forty-fourth posting!

If anyone knows the artists please post in the comments so we can credit them.

December 6, 2010

ReMembering Denver

We are blessed to have great art to share. All the different artists who chose to express their ideas give cause to bring a local community together.

But it is really that community brought together to enjoy and explore that make a screening an experience.

Some nice folks over at Westwood in Denver asked to join us in documenting the spandex covered glory.

Soon our sleek caravan will begin the sojourn home to Cascadia. Boise polo on Wednesday perhaps?

hot dudes on bikes

finally some gender equity in our bikesexual objectification.

December 5, 2010

This is how we Tap the Rockies

Thanks to the executive director of Denver Open Media who made the case for independent media and a more perfect "pants down society"

It was quite a show, with scantly clad, bikesexuals wearing tight and wonderfully constrictive spandex. A number of forced strip teases, and the swankiest afterparty scene since we played in the Ogden Bike Porn Mansion over a year ago.

Now starts the long process of paying reperations to the abused and unprepaired masses... yer welcome.

Tomorrow come and get yours wherever the Denver Mallet Mafia decide to bring the ball whackin noise! Come heckle for fun and profit!

December 3, 2010

Tapping the Rockies One Last Time

Its the final stop in the Tap the Rockies Tour

  • Saturday, December 4th
  • Open Media Foundation
  • 700 Kalamath St
  • 7:00pm, live broadcast of the preshow starts at 7:15
  • $7, no one turned away
  • adults only

If only the show was on July 7th we could have some numerology based action.

We are plotting a variety of screenings in Olympia, Bellingham, Victoria, Vancouver, and Eugene this winter. Excited bikesexuals of Cascadia represent!

on condoms and helmets

We can't count the number of times motorists have endangered themselves by sticking their heads out theor window to more effectively yell about how we should die for not wearing a helmet. If only those busybodies were around when we needed condoms.

Interesting thing about tools... how they are used... how rocking the appropriate safety equipment is encouraged and how we shame those who do not. It's true that certain members are allergic to some plastics and a bad reaction could make us not want to ride ever again. But that is the point. Its more about knowing the risks and we are presented with anecdotal evidence not factual statements. For as dangerous as cycling seems when a ton of steel comes within inches of you at 40 miles per hour, it is quite safe, statistically. Especially when compared to riding a ton of steel at high speeds, which in the United States is the number one cause of death for those under 37 years old.

There are those who will never bike without a helmet. There are those who will never fuck without a condom. Both sex and cycling carry risks but we at Bike Porn Industries feel a heaping dose of reason would benefit those extremists.

If you were in a long term relationship would you be so strident about wearing a condom? How about going protection-free on a bike ride through a park?

Such safety gear has its place, of course. But we could stand for a little more "time, place, manner" in our rides. Such protection is best used for exploring exciting, new territory, not for a casual trip to the corner store. Trying anal sex? Sure! Wear a helmet. Feel like breaking some speed barriers? Have a full face! But just as you wouldn't wear a condom cause you might have sex, its reasonable to know what kind of biking you will be engaging in and protect yourself to the necessary amount.

This Ted Talk goes into the some of the truth about helmet behavior.

We have preached openly about cycling helmets and the culture of fear for some time. It is so heartening to have our feelings expressed by someone with (marginally) better powerpoint skills.

Get down with the Bobby Brown prerogative.

December 1, 2010

Full Court Turkey Press

Fuck bisiklet! That's what our new friends at KAOS GL, a quarterly publication in Turkey say about our plans to visit them in 2011.
In fact they had a lot to say, but so far our translation skills are more amusing then accurate. Nevertheless what we have discerned is that they are all for the liberation and social implications of a more bike-sex-positive culture.

Read the article here!

Our first press overseas.... It's a banner day at Bike Porn Industries; thanks to all who make it possible!

Now then, where should we go next?

November 30, 2010

4: PLAY for Denver!

Bike Porn's final Colorado screening is this weekend in Denver!

Saturday, December 4th

Open Media Foundation
700 Kalamath St
7:00pm, with live broadcast of the preshow starting at 7:15
$7 no one turned away,
adults only

We loved this image so much we decided it needed a comeback. Get frisky!

The preshow will be broadcast on Denver Media Foundation's live. We hope we dont get them shut down.

November 24, 2010

Sexy Saviour Calendar

Black Friday is coming and while you can't buy a DVD of bike porn you CAN have a sexy biker calendar! The examples of strange yet enticing connection between woMan and machine(et) never seem to stop.

Presenting the Bike Saviours' "Not Safe for Work Trade" 2011 Calendar.

Apparently the calendar is a bit more racy than last year's, and inspired us to query deeper about what is going on behind the lens at Bike Saviours. To that end Heather Hoch of the Saviours, answered our questions which are left intended. Her answers are in bold.

So what is happening these days at your co-op bike shop in Tempe?
Bike Saviours is doing great! We had a really huge Tour de Fat last month which was great. Other than that, we still just teach people how to fix bikes! Ha.
Did you set out to make a more adult themed calendar? if not how did
it come to pass?
We actually were debating this year whether we wanted to make the calendar more or less sexy for 2011. We hadn't officially decided when it came time to shoot, so we kind of just let the models do whatever. The first people up were for March and they were a male and female couple, both only wearing underpants and doing some S&M stuff with wrenches and bike tubes. I guess it just snowballed from there.
Does the shop have a stance on sex, or porn? Where do these ethics stem from?
Personally, I've been in a Bike Porn film and so have some other members. But, I would say the shop has no specific stance on sex or pornography. We try to keep our views as a collective organization simple and focused on fixing bikes and teaching our neighbors. This is just a fun, optional thing we started doing last year to raise some fun(ds). I think a collective organization that empowers people with the knowledge to do things on their own attracts a lot of independent, free, and open people.
That is actually quite a stellar response. Sex exists and you liberated folks can use it as they want. So you say that new calendar is customized with information about your shop, bike holidays and events instead of boring old holidays like Columbus day. Can you give us an example of a bike holiday? (We know quite a few and yet were not consulted!?!?)
Most of the bike holidays we included are annual or monthly Tempe rides and such like "Bike to Work or School Day" in April or the Phoenix Critical Masses. We also have the Bike Summit in D.C. and some silly things like Be Bald and Free Day. All of the proceeds go directly to funding our shop, which is a 501(c)3 non-profit bicycle collective with a focus on educating people on bike maintenance and safety. Thanks for your support of our collective!"
Nice work Heather! Well we would have liked some more variety in background but we are confident we have been quoted as saying, "make bike porn where you can." Right in the middle of a bike shop seems a pretty damn good place.

Buy it direct from them at

November 19, 2010

Group ride! Bike Sex! Dance Party!

Greetings Boulder! A historic evening of dancing, independent film and opportunity for creative sharing of our varied sexual identity is nigh!
  • We have a group ride meeting at 20th and Alpine at 6:20pm
  • We have a DJ for the afterparty at the 303 Vodka,
  • We have a fuck ton of beautiful, inspiring art by people who want you to be able ride your bike have sex when you want, as you want!
Phoenix Asylum
2510 47th St. Unit D
7:30pm, $5, adults only

Ft Collins you will get your chance in just 48 hours!

Tapping the Rockies Take Two

One down, three to go. Lets do it up right!

Bike bolder in Boulder

Friday, Nov 19th
Pheonix Asylum
7:30pm, $5, adults only
with help from Burnworks and 303 Vodka

If your name is on the "Attending" list by 7pm on Thursday, you'll be on the list to get in - but you MUST show up before 7:15pm, or your spot will be given up! If you are NOT on the list by 7pm Thursday, then attendance will be first come, first serve! Come early! Doors at 7pm

Sign up now!

boulder? i hardly even knew her!

Ft Collins, you will get your chance soon enough

BikePorn 4:PLAY Trailer

BEHOLD! You may now have some 4:PLAY

This exciting promotional trailer is brought to you by the letter poon.

If you want any more you will have to come to a screening. There are no DVDs and repeat screenings are highly unlikely. Get it while its hot!

November 16, 2010

A Mild-Mannered, Earth-Shaking Proposition

We at Bike Porn Industries have been not so secretly toying withe the prospect of a European Tour in 2011.
Everything seems to be falling into place as more and more countries step up and claim their bikesexuality.

To that end we are attempting to learn more about their culture, so as best to integrate it into our hot wheels. One such method includes our forming a team of bike dancers to perform in the streets.

Here is our inspiration for dancing in Turkey:

Thoughts? Techniques? Other people who love to dance and move and ride bikes got suggestions for how such fast legged action could be worked into cycling?

Joy of Bikesexual Parody

An alert viewer sent this in and we were so flabbergasted by its radness we wasted only a few precious moments touching ourselves before sharing it with you. Be sure to click on the image to get the full glorious in your face version.

Thank you London Mayor, Borris...


November 15, 2010

You got some Salt on your ...

Holey Salty Sins!

What a way to kick off our Tap the Rockies Tour. Take one of the most repressive cities in the world, combine with a plethora of hot racy bikers add years of hot dance parties, throw in a mix of excellent local content and an injection of soon to be illegal everywhere alcoholic energy drink and you have just about the best reason to GET. THE. FUCK. DOWN.

Massive piles of graciousnes go out to our hosts and organizers, Point 6 Percent Productions and Tall Bike Jesus as well as all the wonderful bikesexual residents of SL,UT

Photo credit to Keifer Thomas. We hope to see more exciting pictures arise soon.

November 13, 2010

US Border threatened by Canadian Hot Inch Action

Without a doubt, we love aspects of our American heritage. Its a challenge accepting the burden of being the world superpower with lots of personal freedom and people from all over doing different things and making good stuff happen.

We love that we can delineate a space. Being from a specific place does give us a sense of who we are. But there are a lot of reasons why that delineation sucks. Border guards, for example, are skilled at fucking with people who dont conform to their expectations.

Here is yet another great example of why borders are TEH SUXOR!

Friends of Bike Porn Industries have been curating a show of buttons. The small, coin-like disks represent just about any opinion are part of the holey trinity of DIY idea distribution (along with stickers and patches). Hot One Inch Action encouraged everyone to design a button, which would then be produced and available at their traveling art show.

It was wildly popular in Seattle and Vancouver, BC (where the organizers hail from) and the Portland show was scheduled for tonight... but then, there are customs and there are Customs:

Hi everyone, sorry to say that Hot One Inch Action in Portland tonight has to be postponed until a future date. The buttons were denied entry - they didn't believe we give most of them away and sell buttons for only $1 each. The show is ready to go so we'll sort out the border and reschedule. Do a search for our Facebook fan page or email to hear about when the show will happen. Sorry- we're super disappointed and look forward to making it happen in the future.

we call bullshit when we see it.

November 11, 2010

Returning to the bike fucking promised land

Its good and its going down tonight in Salt Lake!
extra padding for extra comfort

Salt Lake - Friday, Nov 12th
Point Six Percent Productions and his Highness, Tall Bike Jesus
9:00pm, $5, +18

Facebook your bad self


Back on the Road

We are packed! Besides the pile of stickers, revealing clothing, condoms, and a special vibrating butt plug we call "my bike" we also have a fresh edit of Bike Porn 4:PLAY with some exciting new submissions! Specifically an Appalachian Bike Porn called, "I Came On My Bike." This movie comes at the topic from lots of great angles. Its got chain-smoking, dirty twanged-mouthed twinks and tweens, some Deliverance inspired mt men flogging, and and 2 topless poetic forest nymphs. It's a pretty awesome movie and is about to have its world premiere in SL, UT.

We think we will have a trailer for you in a week. But, due to the lethargic pace we are on, the other working title for"Tap the Rockies Tour" is, "Molassis-Drivetrain Oxycontin Sloth Doesn't Care Tour"

But we are remineded that you can still ask for bike loving via the fuck face book! Come on over and learn something about slathing greese on a squeeky wheel.

November 9, 2010

Tap the Rockies Tour

does one of these images appear? deal with the lameness of the future!
Announcing the "Tap the Rockies Tour"!
True to form, we shall go tap tap tap from SLC to Ft Collins to Boulder to Denver. A pretty mild pace for us with four weeks for four cities, particularly when contrasted with our previous tour. We got a hunch that we will pick up a bonus show somewhere in there. Then its out of the big mountains and back to a proper Cascadian winter.

We are ever so excited to be working with great people to share great art and to ride with the sexy bikers of the Rockies!

Here are the dates and places for our final tour of 2010

Salt Lake - Friday, Nov 12th
Point Six Percent Productions and his Highness, Tall Bike Jesus
9:00pm, $5, +18

Boulder - Friday, Nov 19th
Pheonix Asylum
7:30pm, $5, adults only
with help from Burnworks and 303 Vodka

Ft Collins - Sunday, Nov 21st
1000 E Laurel
$5 suggested donation, adults only

Denver - Saturday, December 4th
7:00pm, $7 no one turned away, adults only
With live broadcast of the preshow starting at 7:15

Bike Porn Industries home away from home, Salt Lake has demonstrated a love of cycling that goes beyond the pale... beyond the tan even. Its a place of extraordinary Mexican stands and raging bike punks. But then every place we have gone in Colorado has been pretty fucking fly as well. We love them mountains.

November 4, 2010


A bright, shining light is beaming down on Bike Porn Industries: a quick hitting stint in the Rockies is coming together, with eager bike beavers in Salt Lake, Ft Collins, Boulder and Denver (not sure what is happening in Boise, alas); late additions to our bikesexual lineup are being finalized and mailed to our Seattle orifice; and a euro tour seems like it will include six months of epic bike fucking from Istanbul to Ipanema!

Still not all is well for all radical sex activists everywhere.

The perennial badasses at Self-Serve (arguably, the best sex store in the Southwest) who have been organizing their own porn festival for the past several years have lost a major battle to beurcracy.

The City made it clear that both Zoning Enforcement officers and Special Investigations Divisions officers would attend the performance in number, and that these officers would find a way to shut down and silence an event focused on the importance and power of free speech. The Sunshine Theater was threatened with citations for permitting “adult entertainment” under an obscure provision of the zoning code which the City has never before enforced, and which it conveniently overlooked when similar events were held at City-run venues.

That is some pretty fucked up shit there, Albuquerque. W
e hope whatever crawled up inside them is not contagious.

Censorship comes in many forms, so be vigilant and support an ethical pervert today!

November 2, 2010

Boulder I hardly even knew her

News comes fast and furious in the world of rapidly made art and underground screenings.

Behold, the porn gods have smiled upon us as our expected dates for a screening in Boulder CO line up with their Santacon!

Yes, there was only one biker who was mostly trying to not be noticed by a drunken santa, but this year there could be 2 bikers, one of which is wearing a santa outfit the other still trying desperately not to be noticed.

We hope to be among those not arrested Friday, November 26th

Many events work with bikes and sexual expression. Be proud. wear a stupid outfit and say "Thank you for the freedom to enjoy irresponsibility, proper!"

If you live in Boise, Ogden, Ft. Collins or Boulder we need to hear from you! This is your only chance to have these totally unique films shared. Live it up!

October 30, 2010

fuck ween. happily!

Hallo fuckin ween.

A fine time to engage in bizzare, futuristic endevors, the fall marks the moment when a horny biker will attempt to make sure they have a warm place to lie.
How they present themselves precludes their so called independence from the weather

For example we have reason to believe the middle pumpkin that says "Marry" in the image below also says "Mount" on the backside. Thus continues the fine association with nature and sexuality that has been increasingly necessary to maintain some degree of honesty between our legs.

which takes us back to how we treat our bodes like macheines.

Previously we had some "animal/vegetable-hog autumn" metaphor to entertain and disturb. Squeelin for a feelin, so to speak.

Sure bikesexuality has come to a point of absolute parity.

no matter what the effects of our "costumes".

If opening up means more than splitting hairs...

otherwise we might become some sort of internet preditor.

with help from
Happy internet thefting days

October 26, 2010

Bike Porn 4:PLAY in SLC

finally 4play can start humping your leg

Salt Lake's only screening of
Bike Porn 4: PLAY
Friday, November 12 at 9:00pm
Point Six Percent Productions
1130 South Richards Street (entrance in back)

Thanks to Tall Bike Jesus for delivering as they say, "salty loads"

This could be a harbinger of other shows. Could we manage to swing out to Ogden? Ft Collins? Denver? Boulder? Chicago? Detroit? Madagascar?

Interested parties should start baking whiskey pastries to get us in the traveling mood!

October 11, 2010

Remembering Kelsey

Bike Porn Industries solemnly mourns the passing of our of its greatest supporters and instigators.

Kelsey Rolf died in her sleep this past Sunday. 10/10/10

She was 23.

She may in fact be the first bike porn star to die. We have not been keeping perfect records, alas. The genre of "bike porn" has come to fruition via countless inspired fucking bike perverts. We can not imagine a single person who has embodied our principles more.

From the 1st moment she was seen riding the saddle of a fixed gear bike while in front of her a teen aged boy was cranking the pedals as she relentlessly flogged him, we knew she would be a force to be reckoned with. Since that moment she was able to push other's limits and challenge our brains and bodies, our wry and wit, not to mention our stamina and patience.

Besides being a hot, badass biker, she was also active protecting those without a voice. She loved animals; when in Portland she worked at doggy daycare, and just before her death was highly prized at Seattle's Exotic Veterinary. She was vegetarian or vegan most of her life but while she was proud of her choices she affirmed other's rights to make their own choices. We are reminded of Mother Mary Jones "afflicting the comfortable and comforting the afflicted."

So much more than a sexual object... she subjugated sex!

We will miss the humor, the glamor, the style, and the snark.

Services will be held this Sunday, October 17th at The Woods in the Sellwood neighborhood of Portland, Oregon.

We expect tears and cake.

Our condolences go out to her husband, Tom, of dirty surfing fame.

Donations in her name can be made to the Oregon Humane Society, or alternatively go to a place where you can buy cheap, used clothing, get something bizarre, trashy or otherwise out of context for your surroundings and send in a picture of your enjoyment for life.

She will be missed.

October 10, 2010

how big is the demand for bike porn?

pretty fuicking big

The Columbia River Crossing is alao quite engorged. In fact it is in the running for biggest load of ever delivered to the Portland area.

If these trends continue, all the Vancouver/Portland metro area will be defined by 8-12 viens of steel-jizing bridge, injecting hot internal conbustion into Portland metro steets, air, and conciouness.
Thankfully, a local buisness owner recongnized the CRC's implications for the future of the entire regoin, and requested a full independent intevistagation of the CRC's bit and pieces:

The CRC forecasts assumed that traffic growth on the I-5 crossing would accelerate from 0.6 percent annually to 1.3 percent annually. But instead of growing at an accelerating rate, the volume of traffic crossing the bridges has declined every year after 2005, and the traffic growth rate has been decelerating systematically over the past 15 years.

The estimated total 30-year CRC Costs will total nearly $10 billion. They spend on avg $1,000,000 per month, and have already spent 100 million on the project togeher.



October 9, 2010

Heating up the southwest

Does it seem like all we ever do is pimp other peoples things?

With so many cyclical and smutty things going on it is quite a challenge to press on and stay moderatly relevant. Especially when more active photo blogs are giving it away. Having so many take up the charge of displaying the sensual side of cycling is rather encouraging/daunting/humbling, and yet we do our best to not let it phase us.

It's fall, and like the metaphorical grasshopper bike punx take to the streets to show off the goods and breath in what we all fear will be our last dance with the sun. Underground parties will rage in the later coming dawns without being busted by neighbors who have taken to closing their windows as the temperature drops (unless you live in LA, where the streets have absorbed so much radiant heat that bike tires dissolve into the pavement)

If you happen to live in Austin, TX where accented twangs are frequently coupled with chickn wings and proudly dangling wangs you can probably get your fix for hot flesh at this upcoming event. Here is how the organizer described it:

we are encouraging women and men to dress in their skimpiest outfits, participate in a relay race criterium with sexually themed obstacles in between laps (ie: sex position polaroids, suck and blow the spoke card, condom balloon toss, etc.). Winners are receiving prizes from many of our enthusiastic sponsors- local sex apparel/toy shops!


In a not exactly related bit of news we have been seen rolling around with the bicycle equivalent of "payola." Folks have been asking, "what the fuck is up with those lights?" They seem to work cause when you are taking the lane on a bridge at 9pm you dont want a motorist say, "I didn't see her" to a news camera live at 11.

And the final bit of Southwest info, Bike Porn has agreed to send one special video to make a special appearance in Albuquerque's Pornotopia film festival in early November. They demanded something for their Best Of category. We blush a bit but yes, it really is quite a exciting collection of smut.

October 5, 2010

Hiatus has been temporarily derailed

Just when we had thought that we would be able to quietly go into the night, our world is rocked by another fabulous, scandalous music video.

Woe be on the foolish prude that might try to shame due to "inappropriate behavior", "excessive drinking", or "gratuitous sexual content". BEGONE USELESS KILLJOY! This video drops like a bomb, has legs to run you down and steel to gut you like the new fish you are.

Please enjoy irresponsibly.

After a couple years of mild asskikery the Bay Area Derailleurs have really stepped up their game. From the performances at Mini Bike Winter to their political work on the BP oil spill in the Gulf they seem to have found their pace.

The paring of the dumpster diving, bike punk ballet of the Derailleurs with the dope lyrical stylings of Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits makes for a classic us/them battle. man v woman. driver v cyclist. meat v vegan (or is that freegan? opportunivore? cannibal?)

As for our predicted tours of North America and Europe we can only hope that the stars will continue to align and we will get to bring more of the best bicycle erotica to your berg. But we have been promised lots of cookies and booze from SLC! w00t! (thanks for reading our " bike porn recommended daily allowance")

August 3, 2010

Hi Ate Us

More than just a summer sabbatical for bike saddle research, we have been fully immersed in things that are often NOT bike and NOT porn!

While we are sure this will shock and awwwww many of our readers it is important to learn new skills, to diversify, and to expose yourself whenever possible

just as those who helped organize what has been calculated as approx thirteen THOUSAND naked bikers riding in Portland in June have taken a break from helping perverts become more human powered, so to has Bike Porn Industries relaxed from our monumental goal of helping cyclists get laid. It is the summer time after all.

But fear not, we have more glorious expectations coming soon. With an April show in Budapest already scheduled, 2011 could be the most incredible year of bike porn ever!

But for now, yes, you should continue to ignore us

June 22, 2010

2 times a porn star

There are but 2 more chances to observe this years program in PDX! Come watch it before you miss your chance. There are no DVDs and it shall not be available online!

Thanks to the Clinton for hosting us, its been grand

photo credit to Have Bike Will Travel