April 15, 2009

Riding Dirty with the Lord

SLC is a sweet city for bikers. There is a zanny religion with its overly kind followers providing an unlimited supply of straight men yielding metricfucktons of comic gold. The inherent need to differentiate oneself from the straight laced bikers make non Mormons (and bad Mormons) stand out even more.

There are street bikes, mtn bikes, freak bikes, and cheap tacos on every corner. Sure their beer is usually weak as macro brew but that just goes to show how determined they have to be to get well lubricated. So we shouldn't have been surprised by this gem:

Why ride one when you can ride three?


Studies have shown that cycling improves ones stamina. Along the same lines some have ventured that bicycling leads to greater promiscuity. Could there be a link between having sex with lots of people and riding a bike?

Probably not unless you got something cute and a lot of alcohol (in which case people quickly forget about transportation altogether). Still one wonders if the LDS church has ever taken a strong stance regarding missionaries hooking up. This is the middle of Sexual Assualt Awareness Month with specific focus of workplace issues. Does the Pope have a stance on gay missionary sex? Perhaps sans condoms? (3.66 million results and counting)

Take note: contrary to what some prophets may tell you riding a bike does not always lead to sex.

Meanwhile in Cascadia a group of plucky cyclists are gathering toward the creation of a Bike Temple. Ideally it will become an open space for worship and cycling. Extra fitting since today is the official reopening of the previously closed Davis Bike Church.

Lets all take a little communion and give thanks for another day to ride.


  1. This all makes unicycles look so masturbatory.

  2. thanks for the mention. gotta watch this place more. interesting stuff.


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