December 27, 2009

its got bike and its got porn, but it aint really bike porn

What we have here seems to be a fairly common straight, male bike mechanic fantasy. There are multiple attractive women providing attentive service to standard looking guys whom we assume are taking a break from their job of repairing bikes. Getting to have an orgy while on the clock? WOW! SOUNDS GREAT!

So why does it come off so boring?

Sure there is a lack of caring about the characters, but that is pretty much the standard operating procedure. There must be something more that is wrong. Post your ideas below. How would you make this bike porn better? Can it be made better? Is it salvageable at all?

Warning, NSFW (duh) and also not really very good.




The painfully obvious answer will be announced next week. We hope that someone will guess it.

12 comments:

  1. utilizing bike lube, horns & parts.

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  2. There was no joy. That is what is missing. Joy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. there was a lack of creativity throughout/inout/in/out. SLAP! This is standard porn where I come from, just in a bike shop. Maybe if this was done on a tricycle during recess in the snow. Then I would have left handed to it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1. Not really bike related. Just happens in a shop.

    2. I seriously doubt any of those people ride a bicycle much. Not that they're out of shape or something like that, but they're not people who are passionate about bicycles in any way.

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  5. I can't see a single thing right with this besides that one girl's boobs. Their manner makes you totally forget that they're having sex. They look like they're playing Jenga or something.

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  6. What's that big yellow thing that just barely comes into shot on the RH side about 2 minutes in? Some kind of rain cover for a 'bent?

    People have already pointed out the problems. I'll just say that they really should have made more of the helmet/protection gag. Timing is everything in comedy and that was too short. The tag-off was not very funny and it also cemented the mood of this being a bad job for the women and "I love my job" from the one guy. Power imbalance but not fun. This nameless guy? Lots of little problems that don't have to be problems but are because the whole thing is soulless and not really sex positive or bike positive.

    ReplyDelete
  7. slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap

    boring! the repetitiveness is almost like that horribly boring sex-position porn at the end of pornotopia.

    I also agree with the last statement made by Jane and Rusl above me.

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  8. I'm with Andi Marie, though I only could make it through a few seconds. Which is saying a lot in itself.

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  9. I just feel bad for the poor girls of porn that have to do sex with gross dudes. I mean, c'mon! There are way hot dudes who actually ride bikes that these whores could be fucking.

    ReplyDelete
  10. No inner tube bondage, yeah, and it needs some penguins in it. We all know penguins are HOT, and they were so cold it would need the extreme hotness of penguins and bondage to make it better.

    ReplyDelete
  11. wow this looks like sport junkies on broadway vancouver. tell me it is !

    ReplyDelete

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