Sexulaizing Other Transportation

Of course we are primarily attracted to the total self reliance and independence of the bicycle. A tool that delivers unparalleled elegance and efficiency while making your legs burn so good with every mile. However there are other forms of transportation out there. Everything under the sun has been sexualized at some point, and some things have more staying power than others.

barbed train car rod for confident insertion

Speaking of power the ability to move tons of freight and bodies faster than 100 mph over great distances is pretty impressive.  And of course the Japanese really appreciate their trains... this video of crowds of people waiting all day to greet the new high speed rail is pretty heart warming


Particularly when compared to this series of movies titled  Subway Serial Rape: Lover Hunting 

Or even what we guess is extreme anal furry-train porn?

you should thank us, we could have made this image much larger

For all the forms of transportation out there, and people who have taken on the monikers of transportation it can be a little confusing how we got here, so that we can have a better idea about where we are going.

Professional Wrestler, Tugboat

tell me about obscenity

And finally we come to the big payoff for all this confusing chatter. For although we really do appreciate bikes in their various forms, all objects are still objects and thus subject to the individual's subjective ideas on objectivity! (heh) Since any object could be taken any way (as demonstrated above) we have chosen to target the emotion and experience of utilizing that object. Normally we are a bit snobbish about the experience of cycling being far superior, but then there are certain delights that are not easily achieved... like sleeping or staring out of a window, or getting a rim job in a bathroom. These activities are more the province of mass transit.

What if we advertised buses like we do cars?

Tip of the hat to pricetags.wordpress.com


Update, even Toronto, Canada has something to say about how amazing their mass transit although it seems they got a bit of a chip on their shoulder...

"Hey, appreciate our fucking transit system or a bunch of people with power tools and safety gear are gonna make you wish you had!"