October 19, 2015

Colorado BikeSexual Conclusion

Bike Smut has been visiting Colorado since our first year and every city (Denver, Boulder, Ft Collins and Colorado Springs) has been good and/or challenging to Bike Smut from year to year. For example during our very visit to Denver, Gabe, our bravest tourista was riding his customized minibike on the extra slippery skate park and in a terrifyingly casual, comical slip and crash he broke his femur at the hip. Thinking he had dislocated his hip he requested we try and yank his leg back into place. For hours we tore at his body, Lost Jeff on his arms and RevPhil at his feet, pulling with all out might and ripping his body to shreds as the bone cut and pinched the inflamed area around his broken leg bone.

Sexy!

This surface is too safe to walk on, much less bike on


After it started to snow the skateboarders began to heckle us to call a fucking ambulance already. We, the survivors rode along the rive bike path to meet him at the the hospital where we found a car had flipped over the embankment, causing a traffic jam and stalling the ambulance.

Ironic!



In our second year we let the locals take the beating. A BDSM trio pierced and hung cogs and other bike parts from a young bearded man with nice tattoos. Then one girl held him while the other beat him lovingly/savagely with tubes, tires, tools and a heavy and immensely painful brake cable flogger.

Sexy!



Just before we took part in a "desa-crat" obscene-poses-with-public-art-photo-scavenger bike race. I think we were "extra winners."

Hilarious!

"Tea-Bagging the broom is OK"


Year three we were facing a freezing snow storm and also overlapping with our not so smutty rivals, the Bicycle Film Festival

Frigid!

But our team of artists manipulated some of their posters and a local volunteered to be bound and suspended during the show.

Sexy!

And so it continued up until last year when an excellent local journalist wrote a story about us for Vice Magazine. Now we are in our 9th and final time in Colorado and although in the EIGHT prior years we never received a single submission from Colorado this year we have not one, not two BUT THREE separate films from Denver artists! In short means this is gonna be one of the best shows and parties of the year.

Sunday November 8
Voodoo Comedy Playhouse
1260 22nd Street
7 & 9 pm - TWO SHOWS!
Tickets are available now $8 advance, $10 at door
Live performances from Reecy Pontiff, a team of solid gold roller skaters, and the dorkiest, SciFi choke-out or make-out battle of all time! 
Limited Seating, 18+, FB event



ONE NIGHT ONLY! FREE PRIZES!

Venue theater, bar, and restrooms are all wheelchair accessible and located on the 1st floor.
Please contact any of the hosts directly with private questions, needs, or concerns.


 but that's not all.

FRIDAY NIGHT BIKESEXUAL ALLEYCAT RACE 
  • 6pm Registration will be at Governor's Park (8th and Logan) s
  • 7pm Race start!
  • Prizes will be awarded to Most Overall Points, First Women, First Men, and Best Costume.
  • $5 to enter. No bag or lock required but you will need a camera!
  • After party shenanigans with a keg of New Belgium beer.
  • ALL BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU! 

 








Tuesday Nov 10th at the Lyric Cinema in Ft. Collins 


Photos (above) via Gabriel Amadeus and Josh Neverfindme
Stills (below) from Do Bicycle Dream of Electric Humans, The Purple Ladies and Orgasmatronics

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