January 10, 2010

Helping the Bikesexual Industry: PART ONE

Bikes and their riders have been sexy since the wheel got round, but this recent revolution of bikesexuality has much more explicit uh, flavor.

There are a lot of exciting endeavors going on out there, beyond our DIY porn festival for bikers (or DIY bike festival for sex positive people, depending on your perspective).

Behold, something you have probably already seen on another website because if you read this blog there is a good chance you also have seen them on one of these fine, upstanding internerdz:
This previously unreleased image is a special treat for you 'cause we are so manipulative and persuasive. We said, "Hey give us something fresh and new that hasn't yet been on every other bike blog" and the creator said, "Fuck you, suffer with the rest of the cheapskate internet" and we looked up at them with a single tear dripping from the corner of our massive animated eyes our lips trembling... and then we knew he was ours.

So consider yourself lucky: not every pornographer can cry on demand. Anyway, the point is that there is a calendar of beautiful Japanese women and bicycles and they both look good and if you want to have such a thing you can buy it.

Perhaps this would be a good time to consider the implications of using sexy women to sell bikes AND/OR calendars. True, this is already the second ethics-based posting in a week*, but we are confident that as long as there is titillation, you will tolerate wading out into questionable moral waters.

So the debate goes something like this... (actually it went exactly like this)
  • women are exploited by these images
  • women are free to exploit themselves
  • women are not smart enough to know they are exploiting themselves
  • American butterflies are not aware of the consequences their action will have on Japanese cyclists
  • no, YOU are the IGNORANT BUTTerfly
  • why don't we make our own calendar?**
  • funny you should say that, I just made 12 months of my testicles on bikes

We would prefer a more enlightened conversation. But since most people who bother to post comments probably will never come back to read what anyone else said afterwards, we have come to the metaphorical equivalent of meeting someone at a bus stop and immediately jizzing on their face. "Get in, get off, and get out" has been the defacto method of internet debate for so long we seriously wonder how so many people have so many "loads" to share. Perhaps they use volume enhancing drugs (scroll down to end of linked post for sweet promotional video about how you too can get massive loads all the time). Regardless, the medium of communication is what it is, and no mater how infuriating it is to try and engage anyone who comments on youtube there is still (depreciating) value in trying.

Behold: a modern day street prostitute in Tijuana, Mexico.
Thanks Wikipedia! So how is riding a bike like selling your body for sex? Maybe that is dictated by how one rides.

It puts us in a strange position because what the hell is sexism anyway? We believe in sex, can that count as our "ism"? What about biting-the-hand-the-feeds-you-ism? We would rather not believe in that, but alas, we are well aware of it.

Take what you will from the images, but the women in the pictures seem pretty happy. If someone makes a calendar of men happily washing their bicycles we will gladly do a post about it a month after it is useful as well.


*And still we have not released the 1st leg of the next tour. BUT JUST YOU WAIT! Seriously, it's not like you have any choice in the matter. But thanks for your patience.

**You should make your own calendar, but know that it is WAY harder than it seems, and printing is really quite expensive, and distribution is near impossible. That said, do it, make cool images and such available on others' walls, and when you are done you can say, "I did it! ... and I never want to do it again"

1 comment:

  1. The lovely cycling ladies of Nagoya Japan warm-heartily thank you. Arigato blessed Reverend!



faster harder more