The Penultimate Bike Porn ... mmm MKE?

This is it.

We are on the verge of getting sentimental, because we have done so much writing and engaging more than 1000 posts and 700k views over the past decade. But the numbers, which are interesting are nothing compared to the qualitative sense of value from our interactions with people over the years.

We have had some great opportunities to challenge strongly held views about sex and mobility. The dominate culture rarely makes room for anything other than the tightly prescribed notions about how you can move and how you can fuck. But these ideas are limiting the vast possibilities for bikesexual expression. "You are unfulfilled! You must desire this expensive car, and desire this unrealistic body..." So many of us just watch whatever free porn is good enough, even tho its painfully formulaic, so formulaic that its like eating formula intended for an infant. By only consuming the porn equivalent baby food we are denying ourselves the complexity and diverse flavors our mature palettes deserve!

Milwaukee (or as they like to abbreviate it, MKE) is the home of macro beers but they also got plenty of people appreciating the finer things. So while most overlook our plucky independent film fest we've seen a growing appreciation for the crazy fun happening in the rather eclectic neighborhood of Riverwest and specifically the happy (if not slightly wobbly) patrons who frequent the Riverwest Public House, Bike Smut's home in MKE for the past 4 years.

And now it would seem the rather attentive but prudish censors of FB have decided to ban RevPhil yet again, so combined with the difficulty finding a venue in Madison and a strong case of homesickness the following screenings in Madison and Minneapolis are cancelled/postponed indefinitely.

The final screening of Bike Smut 9: Science Friction 

on this fucking long ass tour that is almost over!

Saturday, October 15

Riverwest Public House

815 E Locust St

8PM,   $5

ADULTS ONLY

LIVE PERFORMANCES

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

So this really is it. Milwaukee, i hope you are ready because you are getting the entire truck load of porn coming your way and this is your last change to get it!

The bell tolls for Philly bikesexuals

Real Talk Philadelphia,

We have raced bikes, showed erotica, watched a car burn... all good times! But no matter how much love i profess for your pretzels, cheezsteaks and massive sculptures of the gates of hell (thx Rodin) I still feel daunted by your lack of brotherly love.

can ya feel the love now?

We have had some amazing times. Our 1st ever team went there in 2008, stranded, after your venue that was so excited to host us said a day before we were to arrive, "Oh, its porn! We can't show that... I thought it was bike porn, like ski porn" But on a whim we walked into a mosaic museum, debated paying the $3 and then noticed the subtle but frequent amount of sex and bike parts on display. A moment later I asked a person who looked like the janitor a couple questions and then he told us we should show our erotic bicycle films right there, that night, and sure enough there we were, in the bowels of Philadelphia's Magic Gardens watching our movies bounce of the glass walls making 1000 points of ‪#‎bikeporn‬ light.

Our last show was 2 years ago with the Porny Express. While Reverend Phil was in the midst of riding his bike from Minneapolis to Mexico the talented Reecy Pontiff sung about falling under the lofty charms of "The Girl on the Tallest Tallbike in Town" to the radical queers. Each year all of the people were beside themselves wanting to bring it back better "next year"

All have failed.

I do not accept the excuse of, "That's hare things are in ___ (name a place)" because they say that everywhere. Your eccentric people are just as unreliable as the next. But still you have a chance. This is the final screening of Bike Smut in Philadelphia. Maybe somehow history will stop repeating itself? Maybe you know someone. Then you could invite them with you to see the LAST EVER screening of Bike Smut in Philly!

As you may know, Bike Smut is in its 9th and FINAL year of touring. But before it is over we are taking a final shot at Philadelphia! It has been two years since Bike Smut: Bike Porn which means you will get to see the best of both our 8th and 9th year of programing!
 

  BEFORE THE SHOW we are putting together a special panel discussion to engage the sexual organ between your ears.

• Dr. Victoria Hartmann Ph.D., M.P.H. DACS, she is the director of the world's largest sex museum and has produced fetish videos for 20 years.
• Dee Viant, is the creator of the Fetish Movie Blog. She loves all things perverse and nasty and blames her Catholic upbringing.
• Rev. Phil is the creator of Bike Smut. He has toured the Northern Hemisphere for 9 years and probably needs a shower. 
• Links! You love em!
• http://drvictoriaphd.com/
  http://blog.fetishmovies.com/
  http://bikesmut.com/

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Friday June 3rd
Wooden Shoe Books and Records
704 South Street
7pm "Future of Sex" Panel Talk
8pm Show!
$7 donation (no one turned away for lack of funds)
Limited Seating, 18+
https://www.facebook.com/events/608639649312460/

photo by qbarmatt

Or if not, maybe we will just go eat some pretzels. They are almost worth the suffering.

Love of Mystery finds a bike between yr thighs

Do you feel sexy when you are riding your bike? The wind in your hair, the sun at your back, heavy breathing, something hard and tubular between your legs...

So sayeth the Love of Mystery, aka Erin who frequently journals her opinions and experiences regarding sexuality "from a life affirming place and for activism".  Which sounds about perfect to us.*

In the article, Erin encourages readers to create their own short, erotic movie for our upcoming 7th annual program "The Porny Express" and we are treated to some hot bicycle imagery direct from the author:

That evening I thought about how fun and it would be to shoot something involving riding my bike to the farmers market and buying vegetables while secretly enjoying a butt plug.

We are not sure this isn't happening often. Now that we have toured in 23 different countries with such a diverse collection of ideas about how to get on and off bikes it seems all too likely that there have been a number of people who have enjoyed their dirty secret in public.

I imagine a world where all people are able to be liberated from the social mores of the past and be follow their internal drives while respecting and loving one another.

Amen sister. We hope you will enjoy this article and more writing from the Love Of Mystery blog!

There's not much time left, make some sweet bicycle erotica today!

*Is it possible to engage in sex-positive and/or bicycle culture without being an activist? Possibly, but for the time being we will give the 24-hr party people a pass as long as they are doing it in the road.

WHACK!ng it with Bikes!

Presenting the greatest WHACK! since kitty abuse

WHACK! presents Bike Smut
a casually radical interview by Lynsey G

Below is a little taste:

Lynsey G: ... You do hear about women having orgasms on exercise bikes, so I can see there being an actual sexual aspect to the bike itself for some people.

Poppy Cox: Oh yeah. It makes you feel really good. It gets your blood pumping. There’s definitely more than one video or story of girls getting off on bikes, which is pretty awesome. Actually one of our favorite movies, which was made in Brooklyn, is sort of a freak bike that was built… it’s a stationary bike, but it has a big complex bicycle wheel system to make a moving dildo that fucks the person at the other end.

Lynsey G! [laughing] I think I saw that, actually, at the Museum of Sex!

PC: Yeah, it’s definitely on the internet. It’s one of our few films that’s actually on the internet. They call it ‘Fuck Bike #001.’ It’s all in black and white.

The conversation covers topics of distribution and obscenity and prior restraint and goes over some of our more difficult moments bringing better porn to the people.

Later on we found that this sticker we got from Courtney Trouble was actually from Lynsey G. Whoa! Small fucking world.

There’s a tremendous amount of insecurity associated with how we get around. Being able to have more open and honest conversations about our desires will help prevent the bad sexy time and make the good times better and more often!

Media Monday: Fleshbot wants to ride our bicycle...

After our fantastic show in Toronto, we had the pleasure of talking to the delightful Sophie Delancey about Bike Smut and this year's program, Turning Trixxx. And now her thoughts and observations are up on one of our favourite porno-media vehicles: Fleshbot.  Read all about it, right here!

Highlights include: a great compliment to Jessie Sparkles and his movie 'The Bike Wizard'. (Which was  also featured on Fleshbot a few months back!) Plus shout outs to our more seasoned pornographers: Courtney Trouble and Madison Young

And to wrap is all up, she finished with this lovely little statement that makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside:

 "Bike Smut is a great primer on indie porn, a great incentive to get on your bike and one of the funniest, sexiest nights I've had in recent memory. " 

Thanks again to Toronto, Good For Her, Fleshbot and Ms. Delancy. We hope to see hot bike fucking from Toronto for Bike Smut 7!

Turning TriXXX in Richmond

YES! Our last Two fabulous shows have shattered the previous horror stories about screenings mid Atlantic.  It was so good in fact a veteran sex educator took time to write about it!

It makes perfect sense when you think about it: bodies in motion; the exhilaration of freedom; the stimulation of one’s senses while riding; the fit and flow of clothing by the rider; the positions of riding, peddling, mounting, and dismounting the bike (ahem… “mounting”); the rhythm of the legs and hips; and of course the way the seat presses provocatively against the rider. - read more on Dr. Ruthie's blog!

Both Brooklyn and Washington DC shows were full of hot bodies and both included TWO live performances from local artists. What a treat for us to see a community not just passively accepting our notions, but actively engaging and exploring their own bikesexual ideas via song, dance, photography and spoken word!

This unexpected success is giving us a whole a whole new perspective on finding the joy between our legs in places it never seemed possible! If the challenged venues in the nation's capital can enjoy it, than we might be able to bring two wheeled bikesexual liberation anywhere!

How about Richmond, VA? In the past we have marvelous screenings at the vaunted Byrd Theatre, but since their board of directors learned there was sex involved, Bike Smut has found a new more suitable, underground dwellings in RVA.

  Saddle Sores.xxx  presents

 Bike Smut 6: TurningTriXXX

Sunday Oct 28

@ MovieLoft (underground venue, email for directions or just ride w us!)    

7pm - group ride from Lamplighter - 116 South Addison Street

$5 Suggested Donation    18+

sex-positive non-bike bloggers unite!

After more haranguing than we would like to describe (tantamount to a bureaucrat defending the bureaucracy by saying "this is a rule because it is") Bike Smut has been included in our 1st ever e[lust]!
Dozens of different rad sex-themed blogs choose something in the past month they created that they are proud of. That submission goes to the eLust which in turn, compiles all the appropriate submissions and contractually requests every contributing blog post the link to all the other exciting content.

So without any further lameness, e[lust] #35 

Photo Courtesy of Vincent and Mia


Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one

 roof every month. Whether you�re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or

 kinky discussions it�ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #36? Start with the newly

 updated rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


 ~ Top 3 ~


Strangers in a bar � She sensed him move along the bar, he took the seat next to her his knee brushing

 her thin stockings as he took in her dress and the way it waved over her curvaceous figure.


Dealing with Abuse in Our Communities � We�re only human (yes, dominants ARE human) and mistakes

 happen. But what you do with the information that you�ve harmed someone is key.


Special Request � Walking to his desk, he pulled off his belt and put it on the left side, then

 pulled out a paddle and put it in the middle and then a cane on the right hand side.


 ~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~


What Keeps Us Going � We co-existed, and we were generally happy with each other, but we were

 dysfunctional. You know how people talk about becoming roommates rather than lovers? Guilty.


~ e[lust] Editress ~


Sex Toy Journalism: Seeking the Truths of Silicone via Flame Testing and Confronting Manufacturers �  

Why flame test? �Pure� silicone, be it food grade or medical grade, shouldn�t melt or deform under the

 heat of an open flame from a disposable lighter or match � a fact you�ll see demonstrated in the video


Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships


Comparisons Part Three
Cosmic Vibrations
Momentum: Reflections and Impressions
My Feminine Fountain is Finally Flowing (I squirted for the 1st time!)
PolyAnna�s Musings: Attraction
Q&A Number 1: Play Partners
Sexual Bucket List (and a Brief Diatribe on My Self Censorship Hang Up)
The �Dry Rut/Root�! Non-sex?
Intolerance � Contraception Debate, Religious Intolerance, & Grumpy Cooper


Erotic Writing


Come Together
Encounter in the Spa
Flame
Good Bad Sex
I needed him there and then 
inside
Make Me Cum
Namaste
Onomatopoeia
Play Lady Play
Quitting While Ahead
Rampage � YSL�s birthday treats
sleep
the Confidante and I film ourselves
third
The first time I slept with the Girl in the Red DressTiming Is Everything
We drink each other�s cum


Kink & Fetish


Assignment from M
Buttons
Cigars
Fucked Raw
Foot fetishists, come talk to me
Imprints
Make Me
Nice vs. Good
On �Closure.�
Practicing My Religion
Please Fuck Me
Snap


Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor


Annie fucking Sprinkle
Voice and the Author

Media Monday, Remembering Munchen

Fuck me, (not just a happy suggestion anymore) we have been getting lots of great press but we are often less than... uh, motivated to write about people who write about people, who show movies by people who think its great to make movies about bikes and sex. It just feels like too much of an abstraction at some point.

Basically, we normally have to be in the right mood, but like any good porn star we are certain we can fake it and you (our generally mute readers) will have to suffer the consequences. And so we have decided that every Monday (cause ya know, it the start of the getting down to business week) we are gonna put on some soothing music, light a few candles, pour a few bottles of wine and yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP, IM TRYING TO WRITE IN MY FUCKING BIKE BLOG" to anyone who comes to complaining about the working conditions in their noisy, dimly lit, smoky cubicle next to mine.

Behold, The Munich (Munchen) Bike Smut News!

What's that? you dont speak German? Bavarian even?!? Well never fear, from our epic view of the internet we have found a special "website" that takes this devil foreign tongue and chops it into easy to consume bite sized chunks of Engrish.

Behold, Google translate

Careful with all that learning you got gong on.  Next week, (assuming we can keep this weekly column working for more than one week) we return to Milan!

Multi media chopper theft action

Achtung! Chopper news! It has been a whirlwind of controversy and scuttlebutt, as Berlin's greatest Chopper is still missing. Several sightings of it have come out in the past 36 hours. Conflicting reports of a large old stoner looking person as well as a pair of young school-age kids, walking around with it (reasonable, as it is far to large for anyone under 2 meters tall to ride comfortably). Local bike culture is up in arms over the theft, with calls for violent gangs to patrol the streets as well as phycological evaluations for the guilty. Everyone seems to be wondering the same question, "Why?" Sure it is a really smooth ride and it looks fucking cool; yet after a moment of consideration the thief must have realized that s/he could never comfortably ride it in this city. There is just too much likelyhood that he would be destroyed by vigilantes. more details on these local bike blogs: Cycling makes you beautiful bicycle collective Admiral in Kreuzberg

Parisian Velo Erotica

a single credo: "The sexual revolution through the cycling revolution"

We have been in France for only 12 hours and already we have made it onto the front page of Metro, Paris' largest daily publication. Mighty exciting stuff, and it would not be possible if the sex-positive bikers of Paris had decided that our cause was worth working for. They made it happen and we are quite stoked!

Not since blogerific event of Bristol, UK or magnificent media in Malmo, Sweden have we seen such a perfect smutty storm brewing. Not to mention such ominous phrases such as this: "Unless the police headquarters in Paris prohibits the happening."

What was that? Salt Lake; Mobile; Ankara, Turkey; Koper, Slovenia; Gdansk, Poland all had shows without so much as a mention of police or the trouble they cause! But now that we are in sexually aware Paris? Well it seems unlikely, but given the crazy nature of the European Tour so far... who knows!?!

Time to go hang out in bed on a laptop in lingerie.



PS we are still want to do a show in Nantes and Bordeaux. If you know people in those cities please put us in touch with them!

Blowing thru your tight jeans like a warm summer .... something

With catchy beats and aggressively suggestive lyrics, the newest bicycle music video is one part Leslie Hall, one part MC Spandex. Breezee, who we are pretty sure has nothing to do with the bicycle manufactuer of a similar name, could to be the answer to the perpetual question of "why is it that bikers, who naturally develop excellent cadence often dont have rhythm?"

Not only does she have rhythm, she also has booty to bounce!


Enjoy this fine video which still (strangely enough) has only about 100 views.



The bleeding edge of bicycle pimps and jelly hos!

Niche Piece of Work

Please enjoy some casual reading on the status of internet pornography, thru the power of quantifiable measures and statistics, SEXY!

Something that we thought of immediately that the author didn't pick up on (or perhaps chose to not explicitly state) was the importance of niche porn. Who among us would proudly state that we really enjoy "mainstream porn"?

Can you imagine how that pillow talk would go?

"Hey, that sex was really good and I'm feeling ready for another round. You know what gets me really hot? Watching some missionary"

This probably comes from a truism of porn and fetishes, which goes something like, 'if it gets the players playing..." The idea being that people who make niche, fetish porn are often more likely into it themselves, or at least the people involved in its production are more likely to be excited about it, and that excitement will translate directly from the lens to the screen to your pants. (Either that or the money is better.)

This is as much a statement about pornography, as it is about filmmaking in general. Both have fallen on hard times since their artistic zenith of the 70s. Yet, because of the lowest-common-denominator style film making that we have been exposed to for so long, we have seen a new class of artists rise from the ashes like a smegma encrusted phoenix. Where grandiose films like Ben Hurr and Deep Throat have left off, projects like Made in Secret have stepped in with new production and distribution methods.

People have consistently defined ourselves by what separates us from others, by our uniqueness. More and more people are looking to be enticed by something they can feel is special. Something possibly dirty, taboo. Where will this desire end?

A better question is, when will it get you started? One of our goals in producing and touring with this program of self-propelled, DIY erotica is our belief that a individual's recognition and understanding of their sexuality will lead to an improved quality of life. The available alternative is learning to fuck just by watching standard porn. Which, due to porn's omnipresence, is becoming the de facto reality for many adolescents.

Even if bikes don't turn you on* (AHEM, WHAT!?!) you should know, and possibly have been steadfastly avoiding, the strange bits of life that make you sexually interesting. Meat and potatoes are fine, but avoiding fetish, or casting others off for being "weird" is generally a good indicator of sexual repression, or worse.

Move your ass and make some niche porn! If you wanna make some for us, the deadline for Bike Smut 5: SPEED is less than a month away!

*(we reluctantly accept that Bike Porn is not for everyone, and to that end we have already have developed a cunning, curiously NSFW plan to remedy this situation)

Image credit to Bike Smut Romania... WOW! We opened our 2nd international office without even knowing it!! Go us!!!

Cougars make love (and/or/not porn)

We recently were given some modest signs of approval from Cindy Gallop, creator of Make Love, Not Porn. We still think the idea of defining your own sexuality, and not letting others define it for you is pretty fucking great.

In this TED talk she does a fabulous job of explaining the real world consequences of a society that allows hardcore porn to be the primary form of sexual education.



We pimped her website almost a year before TED got around to posting this vid. That makes us practically bleeding edge! Plus this is a joyous bit of verbal engagement.

So then, are you an aspiring Cougar? Do you feel like going on the prowl? Have you thought about the conversations you might have with a young lover? Don't fret, the world needs your thoughtful hands to guide the future away from the sexual abyss!

Take heed, you have a lot of fresh meat on your plate... and plenty of young aspiring prey in the field! Go get em tigress!

Sharing a social media disease

Holey new web testicles, Batman! This them Bike Smut internerds have done been BLOWING UP!

• We have a new website (well, kinda. It's two moths old, we just never bothered to announce it when it was new)
• We have a new look on the blog
• We have a brand new tumblr
• We have an old twitter
• We have an old Facebook page that will also have more great bikesexual content soon

But now we need your help. Every stupid, vapid, jerkface begs you to befriend them. Many are totally worth your time. The problem is we are adrift in a super highway sea of lame sexual content. We can't even count the number of times that we have been shut down before we could explain how sweet our goals are. This is where YOU come in. If you believe in our mission to improve people's lives through better sex and transportation than you must connect us with others, because no one believes us when we say how awesome our politics are.

Do your part to pass these ideals on! Your friends will be glad you did.

**NOTE: persistent rubbing up against your computer can result in chafing, or worse. Consult an IT physician.**

Bean Town Pimpin

============
We interrupt this self congratulatory blog post with a healthy dose of luscious bloggity masturbation
============
"This isn’t your mom and dad’s porn. This isn’t even the stuff adolescent boys dream of; it’s porn with a niche, porn for a specific counterculture looking for some offbeat fun." Dig Boston article by - JENNIFER CHOI

“The goals have always been to showcase work that is under-represented. Sometimes it’s queer, sometimes it’s women, and sometimes it’s straight men. Regardless, it’s all work that nurtures me and my communities and makes Boston a little more bearable” CineMental founder Aliza Shapiro.
============
We now return to our regularly scheduled self love.
============
WE IS SO LOVED!

Boston really loves Bike Porn. Last year the bikesexuals of Boston made it clear, these people love bikes and sex. Approximately 450 fine-ass-fuck lovers of cycles packed the Brattle to the gills.

This weekend, we do it again... twice!

Here is a snippet of what has been said in the buildup: border guard life for the touring bike pornographer


"Put down your messenger bag, roll down your pant leg, and stop freaking out drivers and pedestrians for a moment" ZING! The New Gay throws down some find derogatory fashion commentary

And finally, the Phoenix demands that you watch the goods! "Bike Porn: for some reason when you put those two words together, they sound extra dirty"

Oh yea, as dirty as you make it.

GET YOUR TIX NOW

Thanks for helping us reach the sexy masses! With all this attention we hope to look good enough for yalls!

Helping the Bikesexual Industry: PART ONE

Bikes and their riders have been sexy since the wheel got round, but this recent revolution of bikesexuality has much more explicit uh, flavor.

There are a lot of exciting endeavors going on out there, beyond our DIY porn festival for bikers (or DIY bike festival for sex positive people, depending on your perspective).

Behold, something you have probably already seen on another website because if you read this blog there is a good chance you also have seen them on one of these fine, upstanding internerdz:
This previously unreleased image is a special treat for you 'cause we are so manipulative and persuasive. We said, "Hey give us something fresh and new that hasn't yet been on every other bike blog" and the creator said, "Fuck you, suffer with the rest of the cheapskate internet" and we looked up at them with a single tear dripping from the corner of our massive animated eyes our lips trembling... and then we knew he was ours.

So consider yourself lucky: not every pornographer can cry on demand. Anyway, the point is that there is a calendar of beautiful Japanese women and bicycles and they both look good and if you want to have such a thing you can buy it.

Perhaps this would be a good time to consider the implications of using sexy women to sell bikes AND/OR calendars. True, this is already the second ethics-based posting in a week*, but we are confident that as long as there is titillation, you will tolerate wading out into questionable moral waters.

So the debate goes something like this... (actually it went exactly like this)

• women are exploited by these images
• women are free to exploit themselves
• women are not smart enough to know they are exploiting themselves
• American butterflies are not aware of the consequences their action will have on Japanese cyclists
• no, YOU are the IGNORANT BUTTerfly
• why don't we make our own calendar?**
• funny you should say that, I just made 12 months of my testicles on bikes

We would prefer a more enlightened conversation. But since most people who bother to post comments probably will never come back to read what anyone else said afterwards, we have come to the metaphorical equivalent of meeting someone at a bus stop and immediately jizzing on their face. "Get in, get off, and get out" has been the defacto method of internet debate for so long we seriously wonder how so many people have so many "loads" to share. Perhaps they use volume enhancing drugs (scroll down to end of linked post for sweet promotional video about how you too can get massive loads all the time). Regardless, the medium of communication is what it is, and no mater how infuriating it is to try and engage anyone who comments on youtube there is still (depreciating) value in trying.


Behold: a modern day street prostitute in Tijuana, Mexico.
Thanks Wikipedia! So how is riding a bike like selling your body for sex? Maybe that is dictated by how one rides.

It puts us in a strange position because what the hell is sexism anyway? We believe in sex, can that count as our "ism"? What about biting-the-hand-the-feeds-you-ism? We would rather not believe in that, but alas, we are well aware of it.

Take what you will from the images, but the women in the pictures seem pretty happy. If someone makes a calendar of men happily washing their bicycles we will gladly do a post about it a month after it is useful as well.

POST SCRIPT

*And still we have not released the 1st leg of the next tour. BUT JUST YOU WAIT! Seriously, it's not like you have any choice in the matter. But thanks for your patience.

**You should make your own calendar, but know that it is WAY harder than it seems, and printing is really quite expensive, and distribution is near impossible. That said, do it, make cool images and such available on others' walls, and when you are done you can say, "I did it! ... and I never want to do it again"

Living the Festival High LIfe

Home again in PDX and we are still getting love letters from all over, this one posted conveniently online is a pretty great review of Pornotopia, The Southwest's only sex positive film festival where Bike Porn 3 made a big splash.

Andi Mari writes exciting tales about her adventures as a sexually aware, minivan driving mom going to a erotic porn festival 1000s of miles from home at this link HERE!

Thanks for the excellent review of an excellent weekend. If most porn was as uplifting there we would probably have fewer sexual issues in society.

What say you... UNREASONABLE GOAL?!?



Regardless of your thoughts on sex positivity (sp?) You need to get ready for the future of Bike Porn! Over the next week we will be unveiling the proposed tour schedule for February-June! Over 10 thousand miles long and our most daring tour yet! We dont even know what to call it! We still need to buy a car (or perhaps a mini van?!?) to encourage better cycling. We're not sure if it is ironic but it sure feels that way.

Media on Media Action

Thanks to Ryan Bigge who's blog The Biggie Idea was capable of summarizing a good portion of the bike sex industry in a single post. And while it might be a little too surmising for us at Bike Porn Industries we are greatful for the uh... exposure.

Meanwhile there are still lots of great opportunities to ogle bicycles, or in some cases use them to further other wonderfully twisted (lime) ideas. Still if you would rather decry bike sex, or the use of sex to sell bikes this article does a pretty good job breaking down some overt sexuality in bicycle advertising. And finally if all else fails you can go back to classic bike porn (as in sans human) If you are capable of masturbating to these images than we may have an... opening for you.


These images were not printed in the North American magazines but we saw the other half of the add (the half without dick) in a issue of Momentum.

And finally Urban Velo. No reason, we just like them and felt the need to achieve some balance in our o-so-journalistic reporting. Like Fox News for bikers.

coming soon to a tiny screen near you

Its a bit of a ongoing battle. We love our audience and we want to give them what they want but really when it comes to this blog, we don't share much. Our concern is that if we started releasing videos:

• A) the unique theater going experience that has been our hallmark would be no more
• B) exposing the performers to the often hilarious but more often annoyingly lame commentary of the internerds as a whole may leave the filmmakers, fluffers and future pornographers with a bad taste in their mouth.
• C) its more work that we dont get paid for

All together that is enough reason to keep our content and our friends identities safe.

But then there is the insistent demand for a taste.

"What is bike porn?" they ask.
"Erotic short bicycle films made by various artists" we say
"But what is bike porn?" they ask again with massive, Disney-like, innocent eyes.
"Its sex and bikes in as many variations as you can probably imagine."
"But..."
Then there is a long pause, a furrowed brow, and an attempt to create a new category in their mind where the synapse had previously not been connected.
"So like people riding bikes naked?"
"Sure"
"Or bikes having sex with bikes?"
"Why not"
"Or people having sex with bikes?"
"If they choose to do so, its really up to the individual."
"Oh... " Then there is some thoughtful nodding of their head and some acceptance of this new information just before the they turn us into the worlds most successful porno producing straight man.
"So what is bike porn?"

Don't get us wrong we love curious minds, but it is with a great deal of relief that we are sometimes able to point to examples rather than try to use descriptive words.

In the summer of 2007 we released The Pornography of the Bicycle
In 20008 we followed it up with, Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation
So finally we are proud to present to you the trailer for bike porn 3: Cycle bound

...

which will be available starting 10/22/09, this Thursday morning. Why are we making you wait? Because even though we are willing to play the foil doesn't mean we can't do it on our terms.

its ours!

We found this image on the Chicks and Bikes blog who in turn had found it via the Hong Kong Fixed blog, who we believe stole it directly from Crank My Chain where is was originally produced.

It is some hard work tracking down all the goods. But rewarding.