Old Bikes, Fresh Legs, Hot Sauce!

The rumors we started are no longer true; Bike Smut is NOT touring! STILL!

We've had a plucky team for this bike-powered tour across Europe starting in Athens, Greece. However because we love them and you and also ourselves we are not hosting social gatherings.




So what will we bring with us this time? Our first go around we had our amazing international superstar, Gi GI Malibu meet us in Hamburg with two liters of Tapatio hot sauce. And the option of having a gallon of Sriracha is tempting. But then, Valentina is the pound for pound champion. THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM! You may not realize the hardest part of traveling in Europe is finding spicy food.

Also, we need lots of help finding rad fucking people who want to help us provide a rad fucking experience for their rad fucking community. Do you know them? Connect the dots! DO IT NOW!

Troy, Ready For the Bikesexual Future

Although it may not appear on the top 10 lists of any swanky magazines, Troy, New York has been keep their underground festive and lively, building their culture on their own. That kind of entrepreneurial spirit lends itself to appreciating other DIY kinda activities. So it is really exciting when we have talented hosts who want to actually take advantage of our presence and ACTUALLY *ADD* to the overall event!

It's like my excellent hosts in Milan once said, "Ya know, we a-love the Bike Schmoot, its great but the best part is not the films, its the pretext for our community to make our own bikesexual art"

Whew. When my people get it... they get it!

In the first year Bike Smut came to Troy was only two programs ago for The Porny Express. Reverend Phil was bike touring across North America and had to do some creating routing to grom from Montreal to Burlington back to the Capital District, then back to Boston, but they totally made it worth it and hosted a fun quick show... and The Troy Bike Rescue gave Rev.Phil one of the best, most confusing t-shirts ever!

srsly, there's a heart riding a bike, with a hypodermic needle as an eyeball... and some exposed rib cage, perhaps?

 The following year we had the right people lined up and sure enough they made sure to make it more involved with more people and more fun! Extra events and silly games were planned including a naked bike ride that was a series of Cop Cars following very slowly and creeping people out until we crossed the bridge out of their jurisdiction and all the drivers backed up behind them started passing us with great indifference to our well-being. The peril was no match for our optimism! As even as bikes were needing repair the team gathered and made it a fun time for all.

Now we have a community of sexy bike people, who are gonna make it a really exciting night!

Come celebrate liberation on wheels!



We will meet at Troy Bike Rescue (TBR) to conduct bike safety checks, decorate, and get comfy before the ride. Any kind of non-motorized transportation is welcome. Helmets are encouraged.

Bare As You Dare Bike Ride!

Troy Bike Rescue

3280 6th ave 

FREE

4pm

  
This ride is clothing optional, which means express yourself however you like. Be creative! We are protected in our rights both constitutionally and within city & state codes to bike in as much (optional) nudity as we want since this ride falls under artistic, political, and educational expression.

Most of all, it is a fun and lively event that allows us to make bicycling super visible and celebrate our liberation on many fronts! Then great ready for the last ever Troy screening of Bike Smut!

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction in Troy, NY

Sunday, August 28

The Ranch - 442 2nd St.

6pm

$7

with snacks, libations, and LIVE PERFORMANCES!

with beer from Rare Form
adult material from eXpressions
 intrigue va La Domaine Esemar

Getting a little hot under the Collar City

For the first time ever Bike Smut visits Troy, NY! AKA Collar City due to all the shirts made there. We think we will leave some hella awesome stains all over this collar...  

So come out and get a little seedy in the C.D! (aka Capitol District)

Thursday, October 24 "Undisclosed BikeSmut Venue" for info contact Guy.dammit@gmail.com 8pm $5 - 10, no one turned away 18 or older Potluck beforehand
FB event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/1428465000709707

Troy claims to be the historical home of Uncle Sam (guess even fictitious people gotta have a home)

See how he gleams!

uncle sam, as he appeared in Transformers 4: Patriot Action

Bike Smut has used Uncle Sam to make a point about fucking bikes before. Golly its been a long time since we pulled this particular image out of this rabbit's arse.

The Porny Express in Brooklyn

"If you can do it in New York you can do it anywhere."

By that logic for the past 6 years we have been able to fuck bikes anywhere! SWEET!

The day after Halloween you are invited to put on a costume, watch some amazing bicycle pornography and dance the night away with other sexy NY bikers.

We are so fucking excited to be back in the states we are practically jumping out of our cockpits! Moreover its exciting to be celebrating Halloween in New York where people know where getting rad and looking good go together like cycles and crotches. Make your saddle genie grant you the wish of better sex and transportation! (and while your at it, ask for a sweet, rideable/danceable costume!

Friday, November 1st
Silent Barn
603 Bushwick Ave,
7pm
Adults only
with costumed dance party to follow
FB Event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/157113071165186/

photo credit to

http://www.tomographer.co.uk/?tag=girls-on-bikes 

and we think  

http://calummcswiggan.tumblr.com/post/88590185210

Hot off the Strasse!

Just hours before we screen Turning Trixxx in New York City, We had our first ever screening at the 7th annual Porn Film Festival in Berlin! We already have two filmmakers who were in the audience there coming back at us with great reviews! Read them for yourself:

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Miss Poppy, thanks so much, the screening was great!

I love your new movie, it was so lovely to see you both and then it was so hot too!! 

almost felt like fucking you live :)  miss you!

great setting, up on the -is it called a landing?

and fun and pretty -your bike could use some paint though ;)    and such smooth dialogue...

nice job!!!

oh my god, the bike wizard was so funny "thank you bike wizard, thank you....bike wizard, where are you?? -in the living room" hahaha

oh and those hot danish girls... wraw

my friends loved it too, her favourite was the one with the bike 'crash' and the "where do you live? -right there!" and bathtub fingerbanging :)

there was a lot of ooh aah and ouch! from the audience watching the bike mechanic fucking the spokes, also a guy moaning in a very positive way

also i met sophie there which was nice

unfortunately i have to spend the rest of the night filling in tax forms, but you inspired me to get up early tomorrow and go watch 'fucking different'

big kisses! xxx

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I was at the Bike Smut show tonight in Berlin and it was fantastic. There were so much people that some must sit on the floor. The atmosphere was very good and we had much fun. Nobody left the show or was offended. The audience was openminded and they applauded to every screening even to my piece of artwork. After the show one guy asked me if i was the one in the film and he was very interested in what i was doing. I felt a little bit like a movie star and it was no bad feeling. I really loved the show and the creativity in the different films. Unfortunatly you could not be here in berlin this year but i followed bike smut on twitter and saw that your north american tour was a big success. I also wish you a great show in New York tonight.

Hope to hear from you and send you smutty greetings from Berlin

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Thanks so much to everyone who attended. We do hope to be there in person next year. And if you felt inspired, please, send us a movie!

A bike of the 'Big Apple'

What's there to say about it? Songs have been written, movies made, poems composed. There is absolutely nothing that can be said or done about this city that hasn't already. It's full of taxis, rude people and an array of other cliches. The rents are astronomical, the roads atrocious, but apparently there is some magical pixie dust that makes it all wonderful and amazing, making sure everyone is full of nostalgia and romance for the place.... including us.

Illustration by Kurt McRobert

Great shows and fun (even if a little scary) bike times keep bringing us back. And with thousands of sexy people on bikes pumping their legs over the Williamsburg bridge everyday, how could we resist bringing the people of one of America's greatest cities great porn.  And while we may have been to NYC before, we still have an entirely brand new collection of movies that have never ever ever screened in the 'city that never sleeps' before

Join us:

Thursday, October 25th

Goodbye Blue Monday

1087 Broadway, Brooklyn, NY

8:30pm

$5-10 donation

Kick Off on the Orgasm Trail

in two words,

IT'S ON!

be there 11/3/11 @ 11pm were $11 will get you $1 change that you want to see in the world

Bikes too Sexy

It is the job of a people to define what is and is not appropriate for a given community. That is the nature of obscenity law.

That being said we have mixed feelings about the "action" going on in the Hasidic Jewish district of South Bedford in Brooklyn.

Fighting the shame associated with just having a body, never mind a (partially) NAKED body is significant. Such is the nature of Bike Porn. Becoming as comfortable on your bike as you are in your skin seems perfectly natural.

But this news story does bring up an interesting idea, where does the "as bare as you dare" bike ride's freedom of expression end? Can we really say that cat suits are the end of the line? Would a crotchless rekelekh be less disturbing?

With bikers fearing a San Francisco style loss of momentum and Brooklyn Hasids wondering how much leg is Kosher, both sides are left wondering, "when will it end?"

We consulted with a number of bicycle religious representatives about this issue please stand by.

UPDATE: Lee is a Fossilosopher and frequent naked bike rider... so we are certain that publishing his views on this website is totally Fair and Balanced reporting.

I don't know if the Hasidim are really more evil or hypocritical than other neighborhood activists who try to stop bike lanes, but they are so off mainstream, the whole thing looks really weird. Do you know about their religious practice? The men dance to pray (as do Fossilosophers). They come from a mystical movement of 18th century Poland.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baal_Shem_Tov

I think the Hasidim in NYC (or maybe this is one loud Hasid) are making a show of their folly in front of the world and i think they feel disrespected and misunderstood as a group and have developed a siege mentality. So this will multiply the misunderstanding
- Lee of Vancouver, BC

Thanks Lee.

So will the disrespect they feel increase and what do you think might happen if they continue to feel more under siege?

Their ritual of dancing to pray leads us to believe that perhaps there is some sort of connection between all things. Imagine... Kevin Bacon is a sexy bicycle messenger in "Quicksilver" MEANWHILE he is told he cannot dance because of religion in "Footloose".

So would these women's protest carry more weight if they said they decided not wearing clothes while riding a bike was a ritual?

Orgasmic NYC Critical Mass

If you are riding a bike can get off anytime you like. It is part of the freedom inherent in cycling that makes such individualism possible. You jump in and jump out at your discretion.

But what about riding in groups? What about giving up some of your individualism to the will of a larger organism? Is that fun? Is that sexy?


May the Bicycle Jesus bless your ride massers of New York. For all the suffering you have endured there is still a lot of fun to come. The Bike Porn Eastern Swing is showing The Pornography of the Bicycle at a sweet venue in midtown!

3/22/08

@ 7:00 9:00 & 11:00pm

Chashama
217 East 42nd St New York City, NY 10017
www.chashama.org

With 75 seats this is a very intimate venue so we are doing a record breaking three screenings, Saturday, March 22nd @ 7, 9, and 11pm.

Admission is only $6 so expect a packed house.

This screening is being partially sponsored by Babeland, who totally are into bikes and sex.