Did you come here for a good time or a long time? Because in a very short time Seattle will have a good time! This Saturday, October 7th, 2023 Capitol Hill will host the first screening of Bike Smut in nearly 5 years.

Considering we made more than 500 shows in our first decade of existence that is a very long, dry spell. This kind of lenghty period without bicycle porn inspires questions: 1) Who let you out? 2) Who let you in? 3) Why now? 4) Why here? 5) Why you? Ah, the hateraid of the internet will flow but the purness of our pervness shalt be prevented from presenting. So then we retort with a timeless classic (that was also my 8th grade class presidential election campaign slogan): Why not?

And so we gather one more time, at least to present the only festival of its kind for one night only.

So once again we ask you, Do you like bikes, erotica, or bands? We do too! Join us for Bikes, Booty, Bands...BBB! Get all of this action in one fun and welcoming event. We start with spicy, erotic bike short films and then howl to the wild raucous sounds of the Filthy Fem Corps Marching Band and Double or Muffin. $20. Doors at 5pm. Mischief starts at 6pm, Saturday, October 7th at Chop Suey. BBB!! (Pronounced like you are motorboating -- get some!!)

https://www.ticketweb.com/event/bikes-booty-bands-chop-suey-tickets/13646208

www.filthyfemcorps.com

www.doubleormuffinband.com

• Sat, Oct 7, 2023
• 6:00 PM (Doors 5:00 PM)
• Chop Suey
• 1325 E Madison St. Seattle, WA 98122
• $20.00
• Ages 21+
• with Filthy FemCorps and Double or Muffin

Come Again, one last time, in Minneapolis!

Its the final screening of Bike Smut and its gonna be a doosie! Last year Minneapolis was one of our best shows! A perfect storm of bureaucracy threatened to shut down one of our favorite venues, The Bedlam Theater.  30 hours before showtime the city of Minneapolis told them there would not be allowed to host Bike Smut! Thankfully its a good community of people working together to make some amazing art happen and the excellent people at Ground Zero decided that the power of the Smut wouldn't be interrupted in Minnesota! Go on we did... and how! With the power of our legs we bike toured from Minneapolis to Montreal to Mexico! Now we have reversed the trend, going counter clockwise and doing it with the power of mass transit, eschewing our ass transit.. for now! Soon we plan to be bike touring again but for now enjoy THE ULTIMATE SCREENING OF BIKE SMUT 8: COME AGAIN!

Saturday June 20th
Ground Zero - 15 NE 4th Street

But first we are gathering for freedom of sexuality and mobility... and also for  deliciousness of great beer!

We're taking to the streets in the first round of QUEER Tour de Breweries. Ride in style with your favorite queers while cheering with your favorite beers!
 
$10 gets you $1 off full beers at Eastlake, Entry to Bike Smut 8: Come Again: Minneapolis

4 PM: Meet at Eastlake Craft Brewery
4:30 Roll Out to TBA
7:30 PM: Arrive at Ground Zero Nightclub for Bike Smut Celebration
Dance at the BSDM after party with beats provided by DJ Fenris

The "Come Again" theme has inspired bicycle lap dances, Craigslist hookups, androgynous ice cave explorations, Chinese bondage pegging lessons, bike cops taken hostage until they squirt and wheelchair porn! Minneapolis is the last stop on the tour!

ITS SUMMER FUCKING TIME!   GET HOT!!

Come Again, MKE!

Wait, MKE is Milwaukee not Mike, but actually, YES also Mike and while we are at it everyone else who is ready to appreciate self-mobilized, sex-positive films!

We have several years of kickass shows at one of the greatest bars on earth and we have another coming up quick!

Tuesday, June 16

Riverwest Public House

815 E Locust Street

8pm, $5 ADULTS ONLY!

BIRTHDAY DANCE PARTY afterwards!! 

Also its naked bike ride season! We had a blast in Chicago but Im taking yalls on a fleshback to Portland 2014 courtesy of BikePortland.org

Find a WNBR near you!

Come to Kansas City, then Come Again!

Bike Smut has played shows in 36 different US states. This Friday Missouri gets added to that list!

Kansas City is throwing down a huge bikesexual party!

Get ready for a night of never ending pleasure with performances by GARDENCORE & SCHWERVON! Photobooths from Oh Snap Photography! Booze from Tallgrass and Boulevard! Grassroots erotica from bike lovers worldwide! And overall too much sexiness!!! 

https://wowlist.org/events/15857/vacantfarm-bikesmut-kcdiy-816bikecollective-bikeporn-queer

May 29th 2015
Vacant Farm - 3333 Roanoke Rd, Kansas City, MO
9pm

Come support the 816 Bike Collective

Come Again, Toronto!

Our bikesexual takeover of Canada rages on! We now have submissions from Vancouver, Montreal and finally, just this year, we have a submission from Toronto!

That itself is pretty exciting but we have a lot more than just films. We have an Bike Porn art show with loads of local artists submitting, two hot DJs and finally we are getting one of our favorite bands on earth Mineta to play!




Friday April 24
Soy Bomb - 156 Bathurst
$10-15 sliding scale
Our Face be Crackin!

Doors Open 8 PM
Screening Starts @ 9 PM
Mineta will be blowing the roof off ~ 11 PM
Dance Party will Start ~ Midnight

Opening on the Decks DJ Triple-X
Closing out the night w/ DJ Marius

Cyberspunk!

Bike Smut is proud to be part of CYBERSPUNK! 

A one-night-only Book Club Burlesque party inspired by William Gibson’s 1984 Science Fiction classic, Neuromancer. 

Cyberspunk is a participatory and literacy event. The audience is encouraged to read the book and dress to impress in their sexiest, most creative Neuromancer inspired style. The neon-noir novel is wrought with themes of virtual survival, man vs. machine, humanism sacrificed in the face of advancing technology, cyborg body manipulation and more. So naturally they got a special Bike Smut booth for exceptional futuristic viewing.

Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave, Tucson 
Doors at 8, party till late
$8-$20 cover, 21+ presale TICKETS@ www.artmatter.org

Call us Johnny Pneumatic cause we are pumping the morning-moaning hours away to deliver a tight package to Tucson, Saturday night!

Packing the Euro Sausage

From Brats to Wieners this dick on a bike is rolling across sausage country!

What support we got from our return to Germany. First a fabulously debaucherous screening in the former East German town of Leipzig. Sometimes we do free shows (okay often we do free shows) and we usually get a lot of thanks and some sticker sales. But they really dug deep into their beer fund. Then an afterparty at the neighborhood bar turned into naked dance party because, "well we did all just watch some great porn together, so ..."

Bavaria was also fabulous in a completely different way. Leaving Leipzig after midnight then riding from Munich to the suburb of Augsburg on no sleep and just the promise of Bavarian Brunch was a delightful suffering. But white beer, white (brat)wurst, soft pretzels and a hot shower got me in the mood. The Bike Kitchen in Augsburg were really into it they even made this promotional video:



Pretty fucking cool eh? The show was also exciting. We had a massive audio blow out in the first 20 min which resulted in the speakers screaming more than 120 decibels of pain... for 3 minutes  Yikes! But after pulling all the cables (yes even the projector) there was silence. A few words of patience and the audience waited on the streets outside while we scrambled to fix the power/audio issues. another 30 min and we were back on it and the room was maybe even more packed! A very good sign. They screamed with delight and because we had never been to that town before we showed some videos form the archive we don't but out very often including  a "bike snuff" vignette from the early days. Another dance party and tall bike rides around the city ensued.

 The next day we were in Munich where the Academy of art students were presenting their final works. Really fun to have many rooms of thematic art. In a bizarre moment an artist, who wrote a great story about our first screening in Munich three years ago saw us in the halls of the Academy and showed us her art. Her room ended up winning the best in show which is pretty fucking cool.

 
It was a really hot night. We were planning to do it inside the Kulturjurte (Culture Yurt) but that was gonna be a sauna so the rad bikesexual folks at Bike Kitchen who made a good poster and organized it help us set it up under the stars. It felt great!

Our Bike Smut Munich office got some photos too!

Then a gloroius ride along the Danube which has a excellent bike trail...

Now we are about to have 3 shows in 3 days!

Thursday at the Bike Kitchen in Linz

Friday with Critical Mass in Bratslava

 
Saturday in Vienna

FUCKING w00t!

Austin on The Porny Express

Austin is the original "Keep _something_ weird" and sometimes is called the Portland of the South. It has been bucking the trends of conservative Texas for a long time. Now after years of struggle for a slice of the streets we are witnessing the emergence of bikesexuals everywhere! From the ATXHBPC hosting the Lingerace, full of bikini clad people riding all over town to more historically reserved groups' understanding and pleading of support we have seen some big changes in our 6 years of visiting the Capitol of Texas.

Plus we have lots of help!

Queer Ride is a local group advocating for "THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA" in the most adorable way possible. Looking cute on a bike and helping either other be safe and seen! They are hosting the pre-party where you get to cut and paste your own vision of bikesexuality! Bring some bike mags, bring some porn, bring some scissors or borrow ours. Starts at 6pm and gets you into the show for half off the normal price!  FB event: https://www.facebook.com/events/574223955982394/

The Amazing Boobzilla and David the Goliath make up the dynamic duo from the “Oh No!” Variety Show and will dazzle you with her breasts of destruction! Boobzilla was diagnosed with Gigantomastia at 13 years of age. Instead of sheltering herself from society, she embraced her look and the superhuman powers her mutant boobilities give her. This lovely fear freak can crush your skull with her TITS! She has become famous for training to lift over 200 pounds and even breaking concrete bricks...with nothing but her breasts of steel!

Do The Right Thing, Austin! is a crew dedicated to getting you dancing. Following the films they are taking control of your body with your implicit consent! Expect piles of sweat and possibly no pants as you drive yourself into body shaking ecstasy!
This DJ team that spins fancy Italian disco, degenerate top 40 mash-ups, hipster electro, and especially for this occasion filthy booty grinding hip-hop.
sign up on their FB event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/1396214470628149/

All of this plus The Porny Express is made possible by the fine people at The Spider House Ballroom who are drop kicking the bike love for this fly night!

 

We have had a great run of shows in Austin and we expect many more.

The Porny Express in Brooklyn

"If you can do it in New York you can do it anywhere."

By that logic for the past 6 years we have been able to fuck bikes anywhere! SWEET!

The day after Halloween you are invited to put on a costume, watch some amazing bicycle pornography and dance the night away with other sexy NY bikers.

We are so fucking excited to be back in the states we are practically jumping out of our cockpits! Moreover its exciting to be celebrating Halloween in New York where people know where getting rad and looking good go together like cycles and crotches. Make your saddle genie grant you the wish of better sex and transportation! (and while your at it, ask for a sweet, rideable/danceable costume!

Friday, November 1st
Silent Barn
603 Bushwick Ave,
7pm
Adults only
with costumed dance party to follow
FB Event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/157113071165186/

photo credit to

http://www.tomographer.co.uk/?tag=girls-on-bikes 

and we think  

http://calummcswiggan.tumblr.com/post/88590185210

Minneapolis Bikesexual Weekend!

UPDATE: THE CITY HAS CHOSEN PRIOR RESTRAINT
using one of the most dastardly forms of censorship, our show this weekend will have to find a new venue. Please help us find a place!

WE HAVE A NEW VENUE! AND AN EARLY START TIME!

Bike Smut is thrilled to be a part of a fabulous time on two wheels in Minneapolis!

Friday night Women, Trans/Fem are encouraged to enjoy a social ride around town to learn about the following day's massive WTF* bike race, Babes in Bikeland!

Friday September 13th, 6pm

Join Grease Rag Ride & Wrench for a Pre-Babes Wanderabout group ride.  

Gold Medal Park.  

This is a no-drop, fun ride for the rookies, or to meet new people to ride with on Saturday.  Get the pre-race jitters out by socializing with other WTF* bikers.

NOTE! The ride is for women, transgender, and femme-identified cyclists ONLY!

However, we love to include our supportive allies in our events, and we would like to invite allies to join us after our ride in Matthews Park at 9p

Then a group ride to Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express in Minneapolis!

Friday, September 13

Bedlam Design Center  - CHANGE OF VENUE - TBA

Ground Zero 

15 4th St NE

9pm

donations accepted

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Then on Saturday, WTFs* are encouraged to recover from the movies, dancing and other debauchery with  20 miles of urban streets and trails, stopping at parks and lookouts at:

Babes in Bikeland 7

Saturday, Sept 14th

Registration is online at the link above or from 3-5pm at Powderhorn Park, on the northside baseball fields. 

Dogwood Coffee will be on hand to provide pre-ride iced coffee. 

Race starts at 5pm, cutoff is 8pm. 

From here on out, The Porny Express will be pedal powered only. No more driving, flights, car shares and ideally as little walking as possible. We have shows in Madison, Milwaukee, Chicago coming up soon!

*possibly the most hilarious reappropriation of an existing initialism ever?

* cowgirl illustration via emmvill

Tapping Colorado

We are so excited to be packing the porn down Denver's throat! We will have 4 thrilling shows in just 6 days!

Thursday, September 5th
Phoenix Asylum 
2510 47th St, Unit D (in the alley between the green buildings)
7pm ~ freak bike circus - ride 'em if you got em!
8:30 ~ Film 
10:00 ~ Afterparty
$8 door
BYOB encouraged

Friday, September 6th
Conari Arts
942 Kalamath
7:00 ~ games, crafts, & art
8:30 ~ Film
$5-8 donation, no one turned away for lack of funds

Saturday, September 7th
Mutiny Information Cafe
2 South Broadway
6:30 ~ Potluck and games at Veggie Chop, 614 Lipan St. 
7:30 ~ Group bike ride from there to Mutiny 
9:00 ~ Film
$5-8 donation, no one turned away for lack of funds

Tuesday, September 10th
Lyric Cinema Cafe
300 E Mountain Ave.
9:20pm
$10

All shows are adults only (18+)

Oakland Extracurricular Bikesexuality

Our friends in Oakland are making rad things happen this weekend!

MacArtBlur

Friday, May 3rd 6-11pm
Saturday, May 4th 1-6
Flava' Packet - W. MacArthur @ Market - 2$ donation

Dozens of paintings by local artists adorn the gallery walls. Deeper into the complex, you will find more elaborate and hidden mysteries that obscure the normal conventions of the art world. How deep the rabbit hole goes is up to you. We welcome you to climb through the nest, ride a pedal powered ferris wheel, get lost in a cardboard cave, find yourself immersed in mind-bending soundscapes, meet and greet local inspirators, and express your ideas in the wishing well - a collective consciousness suggestion box. All these things and more will be happening at the Flava’ Packet during MacArtBlurr!

DIY Cloth Menstrual Pads Workshop

Saturday, May 4th, 2pm
Sudo Room - 
Come learn how to make beautiful and practical cloth pads out of old clothing! Materials will be provided, but if you want, you can bring old ripped-up clothing (preferably soft, natural fibers), needles, thread, snaps or buttons. This workshop is intended for people who menstruate and for people who have friends who menstruate (and want to make them lovely presents). We will also go over a dizzying array of cool lady products beyond the cloth pad, and have fun cost-comparisons of different options.


https://sudoroom.org/wiki/page/Hacking_Sexual_Health

The Bikesexual Cheerleader goes "Ra Ra Raw"

The last time we brought a community of bikers and pervs together we had an amazing time thanks to the great folks at El Rio in San Francisco, the fabulous performances of Bianca Stone (video below) and the stellar audience! Among those in attendance that brisk Tuesday night included  famed queer porn stars Courtney Trouble, Jiz Lee, Maggie and Ned Mayhem, Siouxsie Q, and Scarlet Faux (shit we hope we aren't forgetting anyone)... WOW! What an amazing crew of radical sex workers. We are so thrilled to have met you and stoked you enjoyed our efforts! To inform/punish those who couldn't make it out / couldn't make it in we have a series of stills from the performance.

We expect more exciting collaborations to come from our Bay Area friends. This Spring a brilliant feature length hardcore bikesexual porn movie co produced by Trouble Films and Bike Smut will be released! Who knows what else these delightful folks will come up with?!?

OK, now its time for that treat you were promised

The greatest bikesexual cheerleader

(since Poppy Cox became the self appointed worlds greatest bikepolo cheerleader)

PART ONE - listen to her talk about bikes and sex

PART TWO - watch her fucking dance

Thanks Bianca! We hope you will delight us and our audience again soon!

ReMembering Bike Love in Toronto

Well it happens. You are excited to travel, you have all sorts of plans, you expect to meet all manner of people AND YOU DO!

But then somehow along the way you forget that you were in the midst of telling people about how excited you are to see them. And before you can say anything you are being searched by border guards for 6 hours and trying to explain to a border guard that riding a bike naked need not be uncomfortable at all

Before you know it you see your friends from another country and the relief washes over you... then months later you realize you haven't shared that note about how great it was gonna be, so instead you have to share HOW GREAT IT WAS!

Hawt damn we are were excited! ERECTIONS AND WET SADDLES ALL OVER TORONTO!

We just Months ago that our favorite venue in Canada is was able to host us! THE SOMEWHAT UNDERGROUND VENUE, CINECYCLE! SO AWESOME!

Last time we came through it was quite a scene amazing party hosted by our friend and international bicycle playboy, Navid. Dancing and cavorting till dawn, that's the way we like it!

Plus the fine folks at Dandyhorse created this G-rated bike porn:

Reminds us of a few videos form the past...


Although the crew following following in behind Breezee makes more sense... this girl should probably be concerned that an entire pack of rawdy bike punks is on her tail.

THIS MESSAGE TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU TOO CAN FULFILL YOUR DREAMS OF ACCOMPLISHING ALL YOUR LIFE'S GOALS, PROVIDED YOU DO A HALF-ASS JOB. THANKFULLY WE THINK THE VIDEOS MAKE UP FOR ALL THIS YELLING.

Speaking of unacceptable behavior, we hope to have a delightful update to the terror of the north, the dastardly epic Shame in Toronto soon.

Turning TriXXX in Boulder

Our all new program of independently produced bicycle erotica will make its East of the Rockies premier!
 

Bike Smut is Turning TriXXX in Colorado!

Wednesday, September 12th.
The Phoenix Asylum

2510 47th St Unit D

Doors at 7pm, $7. Limited space, come early to make sure you get in!
 

The festival will feature an all new interactive performance by our exciting Tourista, Beth Yeah! This program is guaranteed to make you feel one or more of the following emotions: hilarity, arousal, wistfulness, curiosity, and surprise!

These films are never put on DVD or the internet, and are shown only at the travelling film festival. If you want to see them now is your chance!

After party at 303 Vodka next door!

Where:
The Phoenix Asylum cooperative is located at 2510 47th St., Unit D, Boulder, CO. To find us, once you are on 47th St., north of Old Pearl, park in front of the "47th St. Industries" building, and walk between the two green/teal warehouses. Our door is on the left, with a bulldog painted on it.

Invite your peeps via the FaceBook event