Rim Job Across The Rust Belt

What's this? So much porn that even we epic bloggers of 10 years cannot keep up? With over a thousand posts, many of them with salient information it was bound to happen sometime. We had a show in Buffalo and we didn't even make a post for it! Wasupwiththat?!?

  We had a full house in Buffalo! Sorry if you didn't hear about it. Thanks to Hot Mommas for  hosting us and all these fab performers. It was a wild night. So much excitement, and also confusion and also delight.

So we have officially started our final tour of the land of steel. This part of the country has seen better days but we love a touch of grey, or in this case, patina, in our rides. So we are delighted to be in the midst of our Rim Job Across The Rust Belt mini tour. Its already started hitting us fast. Saturday night was an epic blur, which probably means it was a success because other than the people who were ejected for yelling racist shit (no doubt, doing their part to Make American Porn Great Again) everyone was beaming massive smiles.

We hope to post some videos soon but for now these glam pics will have to suffice. So exciting to have our our Jetson's-themed Rosie the Sex Robot!

Tuesday we return to Columbus OH, where we have not had a show since early 2008! So we have 8 years of inspiring porn to choose from. What will it be?  

• consensual non-consent / forced haircuts from Chicago?
• golden showers and swampy dendrophilia from Gainesville?
• greasy cock -and-ball torture from Berlin?
• spaghetti-western anarchists from Montreal?
• gender queer Mario Brothers from Geneva?
• hardfem, bicycle-mounted, cavalry-archers hunting to feed their sexual appetites in Phoenix? 
• a hardcore, ginger-on-ginger bisexual, bikesexual educational film?

Either way, it will be a night to remember, and remember it is for ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Tuesday, Sept 27
Columbus, OH


FB Event

Bike Smut: Smut Pedalers Ride
6:30 PM at Goodale Park Shelter House
Ride starts at 7 to get you all geared up for the show
Adult activities along the way

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction
8:30 PM, NoWhere House
1217 N 4th St.
9pm Show begins!
Suggested donation $5
Adult Beverages and snacks available
Screen printing of your items available on site for small donations as well. Bring something sexy!
 
Cum with the group or on your own. Provocative short films and titillating performances. 

Next stop: Bike!Bike! wants the D

Art and Illustration by Mickey Harmon

WNBR is back in the Buff

Get those bikes rolling smooth its time to Ride naked! Again!

Buffalo hosts its 2nd ever World Naked Bike Ride! 

Saturday, July 9th at 7pm at the corner North and Franklin

The ride is "as bare as you dare" so even the timid are encouraged to join the ride in support. There is no worry about being naked enough. However many started the ride fully dressed then because they saw so many naked people having such a good time have felt the urge to strip off more and more clothes as they ride. It is likely that you may be wearing something (if you want) but you wont be alone. Naked Rides attract dozens if not hundreds (or in the case of Portland and Chicago, thousands) of riders! Many silly prudes react in shock and horror as they exclaim, "but what if i have a problem with the seat? What if I hit a bump?" as if your naked body will somehow engulf the entire saddle and you will be stuck like that forever as some sort of bike-human-hybrid. (A version of that story has already been written but feel free to make that into a short movie if you like.) How absurd! Do you really think a thin piece of fabric is the only thing keeping your saddle from becoming a dildo? Pashaw!

Riding naked feels great! As the sun, wind and even rain kiss our bare skin we are reminded of our humanity. The WNBR is a rare treat because our patriarchal expectations that prohibit mothers from breast feeding their babies have put such an impossible standards on all of us that many never want to go outside, much less expose our skin. But there is nothing "natural" about clothes.

Even with the vast amount of body shame and terror at being vulnerable on our streets the World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) is a wildly popular event. Even the local Buffalo newspaper couldn't help but promote it.   Although some want to ride completely nude we encourage comfortable footwear and maybe a fannypack or bag you can attach to your handlebars for your essentials.

 

Its a protest against body shame and car culture. Riding is a great way to bring visibility to a cause so start thinking about what slogans you might want to share.

Body painting may be available, but coming pre-decorated is recommended. A full body painting takes a while to apply, so plan accordingly. Also there is a really fun afterparty planned so be ready for that!

You may also want to decorate your bike. Its a great way to show the connection between you and your mobility. You move together and you play together and you trust your very survival on its steadfast reliability. You both deserve to look great!

Easy there, its not just about bikes. Any human powered people are welcome to attend. Rollerblade, skateboards, shopping carts or just joggers! It a celebration of our bodies and our streets!



Can't ride but want to support? Spectators are encouraged to congregate at the intersection of Bidwell Parkway and Elmwood Avenue around 8 p.m. Get more info by putting your nose in their FaceCrack, er... ButtBook, uh FB


photo cred to BikePortland.org

Come Again, Buffalo? Wait a second...

Thursday, May 14
Hot Mama's Canteen
12 Military Rd, Buffalo

Wait... Buffalo? when was the last time were in Buffalo?

Its been like FOUR YEARS!

Last time we were here we blew the doors off. No really, a huge wooden door blew off their hinges. This kinda stuff happens when you pack 50 horny bikers into a small room. Also, our founder had to break out of a nonconsensual full nelson grapple at the conclusion of our last show because one attendee was really REALLY excited. (no really).

We are not complaining. In fact it reminds us of our mantra for 2015

"better problems"

That's the goal for this year. Its something we came up with around the time we had 7 liters of excellent mezcal and only a week to drink it. Whew.

What kind of problems will we have this week? Come on down and find out, then COME AGAIN!

poster art by Delaney Coady

buffalo down time!

That was a pretty fantastic show and dance party last night. We knew from the molesting, door-breaking and sexual assault following last year's show that these Buffalo bike punks were a class unto themselves, but damn!Now that Ann Arbor has been nixed from our plate we are free to concentrate on more immediate events.

And so it is that with us as a major publisher of such fine tomes as our double-sided, twice-folded, single page of European zine we absoutlely have to mix it up with the fine peeps at the Buffalo Small Press Book Fair

Come on out and learn something new!

photo credit to Michael Hall who has some pretty good ones

What Hath The Buffalo Wrought?

Buffalo does not fuck around. They are dirty, drunk loly fuck bike punks with creative talent and time to make the art sting.

So it is with great trepidation that we release their most recent work. Behold, beware and never be the same again:

Click on it if you must, but you have been warned

Piles of Buffalo Blowing Up

There are piles of bikes and piles of bikers and biles of bikes on bikers but what happens in Buffalo, stays between your legs until you dismount.

• Friday, March 18th
• the vault
• 702 main st
• 8pm
• $5 donation
• adults only

last time we got some specific examples of how the ladies of Buffalo treat their men. Or how stokers support their pilots? Whichever its going down again and tho we hope not to be assaulted during our performance like last time we do expect a sweet dance party to erupt like a jet powered, full suspension, extended minibike.

Afterward we press on into the wild Canadian fortier, standby Toronto, Ottawa and Montreal!

enjoy photo credit

Buff a Fello

This example of how easy a prostate exam can be is really encouraging. We all have heard the numerous health benefits from riding. Perhaps a heathy colon will be part of that?

Any amateur proctologists out there wanting to invest in some new technology?

Riding in the Buffalo

HeyHey we be back in the US(er)A

At least at the time of writing this posting we hoped the border guards didn't prevent us from crossing back into our country of origin. There is always the possibility that we were denied the right of return and now have excellent health care and more reasonable drug laws.

Monday, April 26th we are gonna run wild with the bikers of Buffalo

• Monday 4/26/2010
• Ol’Wondermoth Nickel City Coop
• 208 North St.
• 8pm $5 donation adults only
• possible bike ride following the show to sweet afterparty

Then our hectic schedule of playing a show every fucking night for over a week continues as we go to Pittsburgh on Tuesday!