Bike!Bike! Wants the D

Once considered the city of the future, Detroit has been on a decline almost as long as Buffalo. Now its famous for its decay and rebirth. But what kind of phoenix will rise from the ashes of Motor City? We have seen what extensive highways diving roads does to neighborhoods, what the legacy of Robert Moses means for childhood asthma, what abandoned buildings mean to bikers obsessed with post-apocalypse-themed pornography!
 
It means doing the hard work of organizing within and between communities. It means going outside your comfort zone today to improve your opportunities tomorrow. It means seeing our vulnerabilities as an opportunity for growth. It means making space for others to grow. It means the future is in our hands.

Don't let your idle hands be the devil's plaything! Unless that is what you are into, but don't expect any pleasureful rubbing in return. Get in there and get your hands dirty in a good way!

This weekend Detroit hosts Bike! Bike! the annual gathering of bike collectives. Folks interested in learning and sharing host workshops and events. Including but not limited to the LAST EVER screening of Bike Smut in Detroit.

Come for the smut, stay for the radical civic betterment.

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction
Saturday, October 1st
Trumbullplex
4210 Trumbull
7:40 pm
$9 donation
Adults Only

Rim Job Across The Rust Belt

What's this? So much porn that even we epic bloggers of 10 years cannot keep up? With over a thousand posts, many of them with salient information it was bound to happen sometime. We had a show in Buffalo and we didn't even make a post for it! Wasupwiththat?!?

  We had a full house in Buffalo! Sorry if you didn't hear about it. Thanks to Hot Mommas for  hosting us and all these fab performers. It was a wild night. So much excitement, and also confusion and also delight.

So we have officially started our final tour of the land of steel. This part of the country has seen better days but we love a touch of grey, or in this case, patina, in our rides. So we are delighted to be in the midst of our Rim Job Across The Rust Belt mini tour. Its already started hitting us fast. Saturday night was an epic blur, which probably means it was a success because other than the people who were ejected for yelling racist shit (no doubt, doing their part to Make American Porn Great Again) everyone was beaming massive smiles.

We hope to post some videos soon but for now these glam pics will have to suffice. So exciting to have our our Jetson's-themed Rosie the Sex Robot!

Tuesday we return to Columbus OH, where we have not had a show since early 2008! So we have 8 years of inspiring porn to choose from. What will it be?  

• consensual non-consent / forced haircuts from Chicago?
• golden showers and swampy dendrophilia from Gainesville?
• greasy cock -and-ball torture from Berlin?
• spaghetti-western anarchists from Montreal?
• gender queer Mario Brothers from Geneva?
• hardfem, bicycle-mounted, cavalry-archers hunting to feed their sexual appetites in Phoenix? 
• a hardcore, ginger-on-ginger bisexual, bikesexual educational film?

Either way, it will be a night to remember, and remember it is for ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Tuesday, Sept 27
Columbus, OH


FB Event

Bike Smut: Smut Pedalers Ride
6:30 PM at Goodale Park Shelter House
Ride starts at 7 to get you all geared up for the show
Adult activities along the way

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction
8:30 PM, NoWhere House
1217 N 4th St.
9pm Show begins!
Suggested donation $5
Adult Beverages and snacks available
Screen printing of your items available on site for small donations as well. Bring something sexy!
 
Cum with the group or on your own. Provocative short films and titillating performances. 

Next stop: Bike!Bike! wants the D

Art and Illustration by Mickey Harmon

Come Again, Detroit!

When we were in LA this past year they said, "Hey it's been two years since a show! We dont want to miss any of it so we are doing two shows back to back!"

Okay

Detroit now hosts some expatriot bikesexuals of LA among other places and they being in the same place responded in kind. "Its been two year's since Detroit hosted a screening! We want double pleasure too!"

Fine

We make all your bikesexual dreams come true!

Friday May 22nd
Cinema Detroit
3420 Cass Ave
8pm - Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express
10pm - Bike Smut 8: Come Again
GET TICKETS

FB event page

Plus this weekend is the Movement... Detroit's premiere electronic music festival, and we have bikesexuals who will be repaving the streets with fine-ass dance moves!

mobile dance after porn party FB event page

Its been a while since that perfect bike fucking storm gathered but it seems ready to Come Again!

Beth and Bike Smuts Excellent Adventure: Mo smut in Mo Town

   
After Chicago we drove to Detroit, making one stop along the way for a picnic. The drive wasn't at all that long, but by the time we got to the city we were exhausted. I don't know if any one has ever told you, but Detroit has insanely bumpy roads. That plus the fact that I had a rusty quick release culminated on my front wheel popping of as we were trying to find the apartment it was a cute, small apartment with two bedrooms. Luckily we had the place to ourselves as a friend of a friend was out of state. It was nice sleeping in a bad by myself for the first time in weeks. 

The Hub Bicycle Co-op

The next morning we went to The Hub bike community bicycle repair shop to replace my front wheel. After some general bike maintenance and wheel replacing we rode over to a local pub for a lunch of sandwiches. Later in the evening we met up with Amy Snell a previous bike pornographer who had made one of my favorite films last year. It was like meeting bike porn royalty, and we all went for drinks at a bar called The Bronx. There was an amazing, eccentric old lady working there who said fuck or shit after almost every other word, I so badly wanted her to join us for drinks, but alas, she had to work. After the bar, Poppy decided to make us some dinner, so we stopped by a grocery store to pick up supplies. The meal was delicious, and I happily started on the dishes. Unfortunately, thats when the night took a turn for the worse... or the more hilarious depending on how you look at it. I accidentally pepper sprayed the kitchen wall. I know what you are thinking and no I was not drunk or stoned. It was a total freak accident that ended up as being completely okay since the girl who's apartment we were staying in had previously pepper sprayed Amy Snell's kitchen ceiling. So in the end we just ended up laughing about it a lot.

My favorite bar tender. 

Revs tall bike is a rolling advertisement 

 The next day we went over to Amy's house and hung out there for a bit. After spending some time at Amy's drinking coffee and baileys, smoking cigarettes out the window and using her Internet (huzzah) we took of to the Cass city cinema where we were to have our show that night. We dropped of our stuff and left the van there as we took of for a bike ride. The night of our show also happened to be the same night as Dlectriciy, Detroits new nighttime, contemporary light and art festival. There was a bike ride where everyone light up the night with their many bikes lights and we rode around. Such a blast! We handed out flyers then headed of to the show to start setting up. The show went well and we gave away a couple of free sexy movies and vibrators to audience members who answered questions about the movies correctly. After the show a small group of us, including an old friend of mine who drove up all the way from Cleveland, Ohio, went to a party in a retro hip recycling plant. There were five bands playing, a smog machine, fun lights and some cute hipsters. Since it was cold I spent the majority of the night standing around the burn barrel but danced away the cold when this awesome punk band went on. 

SHARE DETROIT bike lights at Dlectricity.

Abandoned blue house

The next day was one of my favorites of the tour so far. We had a late morning with a home cooked breakfast and brass monkeys. Around two in the afternoon Amy, Rev, Poppy, Mark Fancy Pants and I rode of into Detroit on our bicycles. We took a lovely route through the city past some incredible street art and abandoned buildings. Our first stop of the day was to heidelberg street. Twenty six years ago a gentleman named Tyree Guyton founded the project by taking to the houses with a paint brush and a ton of cuddly toys. He transformed the street into a breathtaking art project by painting the houses and creating sculptures from ordinary every day house essentials. He also used cuddly toys, shopping carts, shoes (lots of shoes!) and a boat!  The whole thing was quite breathtaking.
                                              Here are some shots taken at Heidelberg street. 

 After Heidelberg street we took of on our bikes once again to explore more of the city. This time it was to an old abandoned Packard car plant. Gigantic dark stone buildings towered over us and broken glass and other debris littered the ground around our feet. We found a deserted hallway in one of the buildings to lock up our bikes in and proceeded to adventure throughout the multiple buildings. Fancy Pants still had a 40 of beer left over so we drank it as we climbed up to the top of the tallest building. Our goal was to eventually throw the empty bottle of the roof. It took some searching, but we finally found the stairs that led us to the roof. After exploring for a bit the sun started to set so we descended from what felt like the top of the world. We took five minuets to gander around an underground tunnel that was blacker the black when we turned of our flashlights, then we got back on our bikes and rode back in the direction of home.

                                                Pictures taken at the abandoned Packard plant. 

Steve Fancy Pants drinking a 40.

                           This was at the end of a dark tunnel, almost pissed my pants when I saw it.

On the way back, Amy remembered that some of her friends were having a BBQ at their work so we stopped by to meet some more people and hopefully eat some delicious food. And we did that exactly! There was music, beer and AMAZING BBQ pulled pork. We met a few new friends, had some of them ride the tall bike. After a few hours we decided to head out to the karaoke bar down the street, which we did. We sang along, drank a few more drinks and finally headed back home for some well needed rest. The next night we went to another bar where we met up with the end of a group ride. It was another fun and lovely night spent in Detroit. After spending almost a week hanging out it was time to hit the road again. This time it was to Canada! So we left in the early afternoon to begin our journey in the land of poutine, hockey and maple syrup!

           Here are some more photos that I thought deserved to be in this post, Detroit was so       beautiful I couldn't resist to post almost all the pictures I took! 

Awesome lighter that was gifted on our last night.

This guys pants weigh 40 pounds...seriously. 

Detroit Princess

MO BIKE SMUT IN MOTOWN.

   Saturday, October 6th your favorite bicycle porn collective is coming to you in Detroit! That's right folks, Bike Smut is back in full force with brand SPANKING new smutty films for your pleasure.
Last years show was a BLAST, with fire spinning strippers, warehouse parties, critical massing and local Detroit bike art!
         Come join Bike Smut 6: Turning Trixxx for a night of erotic bicycle hilariousness. Bring your friends and your mum!

WHEN: Saturday, October 6th!
WHERE: Class City Cinema. 3420 Cass Avenue. (The same place as last time with a different name, was the Burton Theater!)
WHAT TIME IS IT?: 9:15 pm!
18+ (adult F.U.N. time)
$7 doll hairs




                                     AND REMEMBER TO:

mo porn in motown

Detroit puts a motor in your pants!

Detroit, tonight!
March 16, 8p.m.
Burton Theatre
3420 Cass Ave.
$8, Discount for biking!

epic green puke of st paddys tomorrow!

Detroit sends a valentine

We feel the need to impress upon you.

Media Matters! Without a connection to an audience, even the most exciting media will languish and die. Art needs eyes and ears to see and hear it! Bike Porn has these same needs, plus nose and skin to really "experience" the show...

A certain Sandra Svoboda made a point to interrogate a couple bike studs about how big their tubes are, but that part of the interview about traveling with DIY erotic arts was not published, alas.

This year it's "4:Play," in honor of the tour's fourth rendition. Like the cycling community itself, with riders on everything from unicycles to tandems in solo outings and large group rides, the filmmakers embraced the theme on varying frame sizes and styles.

"Some people took the theme as, 'We won't have hardcore sex,' but then other people were like, 'Foreplay? That's how you get to having hardcore sex.' That's why it worked out so well...

Thanks for making us look good.

reMembering Detroit

Detroit. The motor city that has been running on empty since the 70s provided one hell of a good time for us!

Besides being able to explore the vast wasteland and NOT get arrested for trespassing we also got to ride with the best critical mass crew we had seen in many a moon. Srsly, they took care to make pertinent announcements stating their intentions, giving some degree as to the history, and also pimping the fun times that were about following the ride!


Moreoever we had excellent fucking hosts who decided that we should be adorned with a huge fucking awesome warehouse party, complete with stripping fire dancers. A well stocked boozatorim with a heavy pouring bartender, and a smattering of slick art from local bike lovers.

BTW did you know that Detroit had bike lovers? I know! crazy!!

Here is a fantastic video made during critical mass. Thankfully the place filled up pretty nice by the time the show started...



And what a show! We were able to get local nut job/ writer/ self-deprecating gentleman Jimmy Doom to step to the mic for some inspired rantings including a bike porn inspired bit about his momma writing a note to his pastor decrying his bikesexuality. Hilarious and on topic? STUNNING!

The audience was in pretty good mood, from the glorious weather that baked out hot bodies to the discounted entry for those riding bikes or the even more discounted price to those not wearing pants! How better to encourage watching dirty films but to remove those annoying leg garments!

By the end of the movies and our live performances the audience was... well pretty excited. And why shouldn't they be. Having a team of sexy bikers singing and stripping and cavorting is about the best way to make a room full of mature adults primed for more explicit action. Of course we are only setting the stage for such activities. Anything done by sex hungry bike sluts following a screening of Cycle Bound is purely on the shoulders (and booties) of the consenting adults.

Still we are happy to encourage folks to express themselves so, you could also say that while we don't explicitly encourage any specific behavior we also don't forbid many things either.

We are truly blessed and if we can do it next year we are gonna go with our hosts idea to combine the screening with a weekend of building chariots for a massive rolling party of destruction. Sure Portland* has for several years hosted Chariot Wars, but only in a small space of limited post apocalyptic insanity. Consider the differences when you have your choice of warehouses that are completely vacant, and have been for over a decade. Hell not just a few buildings, we are talking about entire blocks.

Get your battle armor ready but leave the foam behind. This is Detroit. Find a piece of scrap metal.


*We promised to not compare Portland to other cities. But this is not a comparison, right? But just to swell your concerns about our fascination with our hometown we will try to not even make a reference to PDX for 72 hours.

In the meantime, please enjoy these fine pictures from our friend, Thomas L. Kula and our own Courtney Rodgers.