Western Front Well Lubed And Ready For Action

Hawt news from the not too distant future of bikesex!

Behold the month of September! (and a bit of October)



In only a couple weeks time our schedule has gone from dry bottom bracket to packed tight with grease and spinning wildly!

We wonder if those four shows in four locations in four days helped get the news of our impending awesome out.

In just a week of preparations and promotions our Paris show already has over 100 people attending and will span two days (or maybe three)!

We are still looking for the perfect community of bikesexuals in Bordeaux, Nantes, France and Valencia, Spain. If you know people in those areas please get them in touch with us!

And.... we're off!!

Behold the latest in Bike Smut European map technology!


Assuming that we are able to survive and complete the most exciting day of mind blowing bureaucratic numbness ever we will be leaving for Vienna, Austria in just a few hours!

Having already gone to the insurance and registration places to get the proper stamps on our asses we are now prepared for our full on "In the Bureaucratic-Black Tuesday" which involves us:

• getting our brand new Euro-friendly stickers, and our even more euro "friendly" condoms out of a customs holding cell
• making sure our used van pass its absurdly anal (even by porn standards) inspection
  
• receiving our "green card" proof of insurance in the mail
• taking those papers down to get our license plates at the euro equivalent of the DMV
• printing out copies of our new Bike Smut Euro Tour Zine, now available in German, Italian, French and Spanish

Then we get the fuck outta town!

If we had any less stellar a team of bikesexuals there might be cause for alarm. But we have assembled quite the crew. You can read about us on the BikeSmut.com's slick new dossier page

The Backlash Tour - Circum sizing America's Limp Dick

Finally we are bringing the goods back to the hoods. We are stoked to announce our most challenging tour schedule ever.

So dramatic was the response to this years work, so powerful the determination of the viewers to help it along that we have little choice but to deliver the goods... CON FUERTE!

We picked up a half dozen groupies during the Chain Whip Tour and though it was not our intention we are well on our way to a sort of Grateful Dead like caravan of bikesexuality.

Will you ride the bike porn train until it hurts?

Behold the Backlash Tour, February - June 2010

British Columbia
2/5 Vancouver
2/6 Victoria

Oregon
2/11/2010 Portland
2/15/2010 Eugene
2/16/2010 Ashland

California
2/17/2010 Sacramento
2/18/2010 Davis
2/19/2010 San Francisco
2/20/2010 San Francisco
2/21/2010 Oakland
2/22/2010 Santa Cruz
2/24/2010 Santa Barbara
2/26/2010 Claremont UV
2/27/2010 Los Angeles
2/28/2010 Long Beach
3/1/2010 San Diego

Mexico
3/2/2010 Tijuana

Arizona
3/3/2010 Tempe
3/4/2010 Tucson
3/6/2010 Bisbee

Texas
3/9/2010 San Antonio
3/10/2010 Austin
3/11/2010 Denton
3/12/2010 Houston

Louisiana
3/13/2010 New Orleans

Alabama
3/15/2010 Mobile

Florida
3/16/2010 Pensacola
3/17/2010 Tallahassee
3/18/2010 Gainesville
3/19/2010 Orlando
3/20/2010 Tampa
3/24/2010 Jacksonville

South Carolina
3/25/2010 Savannah

Georgia
3/26/2010 Atlanta

North Carolina
3/27/2010 Asheville
3/31/2010 Carrboro

Virginia
4/2/2010 Richmond

Dist of Columbia
4/6/2010 Washington DC

Maryland
4/8/2010 Baltimore

Pennsylvania
4/10/2010 Philadelphia

New Jersey
4/12/2010 New Brunswick

New York
4/16/2010 Brooklyn
4/17/2010 NYC

Rode Island
4/19/2010 Providence

Massachusetts
4/21/2010 Boston

New York (again)
4/22/2010 Troy

Quebec
4/23/2010 Montreal

Ontario
4/24/2010 Ottawa
4/25/2010 Toronto

New York (yet again)
4/26/2010 Buffalo

Pennsylvania
4/27/2010 Pittsburgh

Ohio
4/28/2010 Columbus

Michigan
4/29/2010 Ann Arbor
4/30/2010 Detroit

Illinois
5/1/2010 Chicago

(the rest of the schedule is in flux so treat the dates as a guide not a rule)

Wisconsin
5/3/2010 Milwaukee
5/4/2010 Madison

Minnesota
5/7/2010 Minneapolis

Manitoba
5/12/2010 Winnipeg

Saskatchewan
5/14/2010 Regina
5/15/2010 Saskatoon

Alberta
5/16/2010 Edmonton
5/17/2010 Calgary

Montana
5/20/2010 Bozeman
5/20/2010 Missoula

Washington
5/22/2010 Spokane
5/29/2010 Bellingham
6/9/2010 Olympia

WHEW!

This is a tentative list and many of the dates are not set, but we are still adding more shows all the time. Welcome aboard Santa Barbara!

This list is.... intimidating. We can't possibly connect to all the cool bikers in all those cities. We need you to tell your friends! No one shows up because we say we are cool. But your friends will believe you. Give a little bike love to a distant friend today!

all color photos bikesmut.com copyleft

Chain Whip Tour

Hey friends of bikes and sex. This Autumn selected cities in the western United States will receive the Bike Porn Chain Whip Tour.

• 10/14 Boise, Idaho
• 10/16 Ogden, UT
  
• 10/17 Salt Lake City, UT
  
• ?? Fort Collins, CO
• 10/23 Boulder, CO
• 10/30 Denver, CO
• ?? Fruita, CO
• ?? Moab, UT
• ?? Durango, CO
  
• 11/8 Albuquerque, NM
  
• ?? Flagstaff, AZ
• 11/14 Las Vegas, NV
• ?? Reno, NV
• ?? Ashland, OR
• ?? Eugene, OR

If you live in or near these places on this proposed route contact us (bikesmut[at]gmail[dot]com) and request a screening.

If you are not in this tight western circle just wait! A massive tour encircling much of North America (sorry Mexico) is being planned in the Spring! Some cities were not included cause google can apparently only handle 26 stops. WTF?