Showing posts with label Chain Whip Tour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chain Whip Tour. Show all posts

April 19, 2011

A history of Bike Smut



In the past four SIX NINE (!) years we have shared our program of erotic bicycle movies quite a few times, in quite a few places. Hundreds of screenings later we still have never had any leaks!

"How can that be?" you ask.

Great follow up question, thank you for helping us illuminate this idea further.

We do not make DVDs (generally), we do not send screeners to the media. The filmmakers privacy is sacred and we shall not violate that trust and even though selling DVDs would make this a financially viable institution, and sending copies to the media would get us a butt load of press, we say "nay!" (often with a stuffy, British voice). "Nay, we shalt cheapen the experience of gathering as a community together!" For once we see in each other these ideals we can't help from recognizing that freedom of movement via human powered transportation and sexual liberation not only come from similar origins but also deliver you to a beautiful future!

But we are cleaning up things around here, so this ever expanding list of shows that used to be available on the sidebar and caused much confusion is going to live in this dark corner of the Bike Smut blog from now on.

Thanks for the mamories!

(UPDATE: now in chronological order)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Pornography of the Bicycle
 
The Cascadian Bike Porn Tour (2007)
9/17 Seattle
9/19 Bellingham
9/21 Vancouver B.C.


The Bike Calipornification Tour (2007-8)
12/28 - Los Angeles
1/2/08 - Davis
1/3/08 - San Francisco
1/5/08 - Cottage Grove


The Bike Porn Eastern Swing! (2008) 


Bike Porn goes to Bike Prom! (2008)


  • 4/25 Victoria with special screening of the Velo Vixen documentary

  • -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bike Smut 2: Bikexploitation



    Bike Porn Cascadian Bikexploitation Tour (2008)


  • 9/18 Bellingham
  • 9/20 Seattle
  • 9/22 Olympia

  • Westward HO! Bikexploitation Tour




  • 10/6 Boise
  • 10/7 Pocatello
  • 10/9 Salt Lake City
  • 10/16 Ft Collins
  • 10/17 Boulder
  • 10/18 Denver
  • 10/21 Moab
  • 10/24 Durango
  • 10/27 Albuquerque
  • 10/29 Houston
  • 11/1 Austin
  • 11/5 Bisbee
  • 11/6 Tucson
  • 11/13 Phoenix
  • 11/19 San Diego
  • 11/21 Pitzer College
  • 11/23 Los Angeles!
  • 11/25 Santa Cruz
  • 11/28 San Francisco
  • 11/29 Oakland
  • 12/4 Eugene


    Viva Canada
    4/26 Victoria BC w/ Bike Prom
    5/29 Vancouver with pirates!
  •  
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    Bike Smut 3 CYCLE BOUND



  • 6/12 Portland - World Premiere
  •  6/22 Portland - Bonus screenings

  • .. THE BACKLASH TOUR ..
    February - June 2010
    Imagine a DIY porn caravan heading south to Baja, East to the Atlantic, North to Canada, and all the way home to Cascadia.
    50 cities in 100 days... yes, you may crap yourself on our behalf.


    2/5 Vancouver,
    2/6 Victoria,
    2/11 Portland
    2/15 Eugene
    2/18 Ashland
    Sacramento
    Davis, CA POSTPONED
    2/19 San Francisco
    2/20 SF
    2/21 Oakland
    2/25 Santa Barbara
    2/26 Claremont Colleges
    2/27 Los Angles
    2/28 Long Beach
    3/1 San Diego
    3/3 Tempe
    3/4 Tucson
    3/6 Bisbee
    3/8 San Antonio
    3/10 Austin
    3/12 Houston
    3/13 New Orleans
    3/16 Mobile
    3/17 Pensacola
    3/18 Gainesville
    3/19 Orlando
    3/20 Sarasota
    3/23 Jacksonville
    3/25 Savannah
    3/26 Atlanta
    3/27 Asheville
    3/31 Carrboro
    4/2 Richmond
    4/7 Baltimore
    4/8 Washington DC
    4/9 Lancaster
    4/11 Philadelphia
    4/12 somewhere in NJ? NEIN!
    4/16 Brooklyn
    4/18 New Haven
    4/19 Providence
    4/21 Boston
    4/22 White River Jct, VT
    4/23 Ottawa
    4/24 Montreal
    4/25 Toronto
    4/26 Buffalo
    4/27 Pittsburgh
    4/28 Columbus
    4/30 Detroit
    5/1 Chicago
    5/4 Milwaukee
    5/5 Madison
    5/8 Minneapolis
    5/12 Winnipeg
    5/14 Regina
    5/15 Saskatoon
    5/18 Edmonton
    5/21 Calgary
    5/25 Missoula
    5/27 Bellingham
    5/29 Vancouver
    6/4 Olympia

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bike Smut 4:PLAY

    The 2011 Northern Exposure Tour
    1/28 Victoria
    1/29 Vancouver
    2/5 Seattle
    2/11 Olympia
    3/3 Pullman
    3/6 Bozeman
    3/7 Minneapolis
    3/11 Madison
    3/12 Milwaukee
    3/13 Chicago
    3/16 Detroit
    3/18 Buffalo
    3/26 Toronto
    3/27 Ottawa
    3/30 Montreal
    3/31 Burlington, VT
    4/1 Boston
    4/2 Boston
    4/6 Providence
    4/9 New York

    European Tour

    Lipzig
    27 April - Vienna, Austria
    30 April - Budapest, Hungary
    2 May - Fabrica, Bucharest, Romania
    6 May - Lambda Istanbul, İstanbul, Turkey
    13 May - ODTÜ, Ankara, Turkey
    15 May - Kaos GL, Ankara, Turkey
    17 May - Boğaziçi Üniversitesi, İstanbul, Turkey
    18 May - Empire Project Gallery, Istanbul, Turkey
    26 May - BFest, Athens, Greece
    29 May - Cerkno, Slovenia
    31 May - Social Center Rog, Ljubljana, Slovenia
    2 June - Zagreb, Croatia
    3 June - Kino Udarnik, Maribor, Slovenia
    7 June - MKSMC, Koper, Slovenia
    10 June - Wien Bikekitchen, Vienna, Austria
    12 June - Kapu, Linz, Austria
    13 June - Styrian Sprint Shop, Graz, Austria
    15 June - Cross Club, Prague, Czech Republic
    17 to 19 June - GenderFuck festival, Tabor, Czech Republic
    20 June - Galerie Skleněná Louka, Brno, Czech Republic
    21 June - Bratislava Bikekitchen, Bratislava, Slovakia
    22 June - Klub 29, Pardubice, Czech Republic
    24 June - Cafe Miesna, Poznan, Poland
    28 June to 3 July - Bike Punk Fest, Warsaw, Poland
    5 July - Lenin Shipyard, Gdansk, Poland
    7 July - King Kong Klub, Berlin, Germany
    9 Berlin - Schwelle 7, Berlin, Germany
    14 July - Autonomes Zentrum, Cologne, Germany
    15 July - Gangerviertel, Hamburg, Germany
    16 July - Erbse, Kiel, Germany
    21 July - Kontrapunkt, Malmo, Sweden
    23 July - Bokkafe Velgo, Gothenburg, Sweden
    25 July to 31 July - Queer Festival, Copenhagen, Denmark
    30 July - Kopi Squat, Berlin, Germany
    3 August - Filmhuis Cavia, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
    5-6 August - DIY Bikefest, Scheveningen, The Netherlands
    7 August - Passing Clouds, London, England
    12 August - The Motorcycle Showroom, Bristol, England
    14 August - Yard Theatre, Manchester, England
    20-21 August - Supernormal Festival, Oxfordshire, England
    27 August - The Forest, Edinburgh, Scotland
    28 August - Islington Mill, Manchester, England
    30 August - Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London, England
    31 August - ReWorks, Cambridge, England
    1 September - Colorama, London, England
    2 September - The Marlborough Theatre, Brighton, England
    7 September - Andrea's house, Brussels, Belgium
    8 September - Les Marmottes, Amiens, France
    10 September - Nicolas Ehrhart Cycles &Le Houla Oups, Paris, France
    16 September - Casablanca, Madrid, Spain
    17 September - Patio Maravillas, Madrid, Spain
    22 September - Teatro de los Manantiales, Valencia, Spain
    24 September - My Beautiful Parking, Barcelona, Spain
    27 September - Le Trou de Balle, Toulouse, France
    29 September - Association le No, Marseilles, France
    30 September - Un p'tit vélo dans la tête, Grenoble, France
    1 October - Les Tanneries, Dijon, France
    2-3 October - Tostaki, Lyon, France
    5 October - Cinema Oblo, Lausanne, Switzerland
    6 October - Csoa Gabrio, Turin, Italy
    7 October - Cascina Torchiera, Milan, Italy
    8 October - Sos Furnace, Milan, Italy
    9 October - Mondrian Suite, Rome, Italy
    11 October - Ciclofficina, Modena, Italy
    12 October - Autonomer Beauty Salon, Zurich, Switzerland
    14 October - Kafe Marat, Munich, Germany
    27 October - Porn Film Fest Berlin separatist show

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [[[Bike Smut 5: Speed and The Orgasm Trail are missing]]


    Bike Smut 6:Turning TriXXX

    PORTLAND
    ?


    SEATTLE
    Sun Aug 19
    20/20 Cycles @ 20th and Union
    7:15

    BEND
    Thu Sept 6
    Tin Pan Cinema @ Tin Pan Alley
    7:15 and 9:15

    SALT LAKE
    Sat Sept 8
     - 8pm
    .3 % Productions - 1130 S. Richards St

    BOULDER, CO
    Wed Sept 12
     - 7pm
    Phoenix Asylum - 2510 47th St

    DENVER, CO
    Fri Sept 14
     - 10:30pm
    Deer Pile - 206 East 13th Ave

    Ft. Collins, CO
    Sat Sept 15
     - 10:30pm
    Lyric Cafe - 300 E Mountain

    BOZEMAN, MT
    Wed Sept 19
     - 7pm
    The Procrastinator - Strand Union @MSU


    Sat, Sept 22 - 10pm
    Bedlam Theatre - The Ivy Building - 2714 27th Street E

    Madison, WI
    Wed Sept 26
     - 7pm
    Lothlorien Co Op 244 W Lakelawn Pl

    Milwaukee, WI
    Thu Sept 27
     - 8pm
    Public House - 815 E Locust St

    Chicago, IL
    Sat Sept 29
     - 11:59pm
    Music Box

    Detroit, MI
    Sat Oct 6
     - 9:15pm
    Crass City Theater - 3420 Cass Ave

    Toronto, ON
    Thu Oct 11
     - 8:30pm
    CineCycle - behind 129 Spadina Ave

    Ottawa, ON
    Sat Oct 13
    TBA brewpub

    Montreal, QB
    Tue Oct 16
     - 9:30pm
    Cafe Artere - 7000 Ave du Parc

    Burlington, VT
    Thu Oct 18
    The Firefly - 200 main st.

    Boston, MA
    Fri Oct 19 - 7:30, 9:15, 11pm
    The Video Underground -
    385 Centre Street Jamaica Plain

    Providence, RI
    Sat Oct 20 - 9pm
    Dungeon C

    Providence, RI
    Sun Oct 21 - 6pm
    Libertalia - 280 Broadway #200

    Brooklyn, NY
    Thu Oct 25 - 830pm
    Goodbye Blue Monday - 1087 Broadway


    Washington DC
    Fri Oct 26
    Sova - 1359 H Street Northeast

    Richmond, VA
    Sun Oct 28
    Movie Loft

    Asheville, NC
    Mon Oct 29
    Shit House

    New Orleans, LA
    Sat Nov 3
    Mud Lark

    Houston, TX
    Mon Nov 5

    Notsuoh - 314 Main St
    314 Main Street 


    Mexico City
    Sabado, Nov 17
    Casa Bicitecas, Central Del Pueblo,  Republica De Nicaragua #15  Colonia Centro


    Guadalajara
    Saturday, December 1, 2012 

    Guadalajara, Mexico

    Mericules 5 Dec


    Puebla, Mexico
    Sábado 15 de diciembre
     Oaxaca, Mexico
    26 Dec
    THE END OF ALL CAPS (after surviving the end of the world at the Rainbow Gathering in Planaque, a Mayan ruin in Chiapas)
     Cafe Central
    http://www.colectivocentral.com/
    Cidudad de Mexico
    29 Dec
    the end of the year
    Puebla Central w Bicitekas
    2013
    United States
     Austin, TXJanuary 5
    29th St Ballroom
    w Bed Post Confessions and Queer Ride
    San Antonio, TX
    January 8
    Boneshakers
    Tucson, AZ
    January 11
    The Screening Room
    Phoenix, AZ
    January 12
    Trunk Space

    CALIFORNIA
    Friday Jan 18
    HIGHLAND PARK
    3706 N. Figueora St
    8pm , $5 
    Saturday Jan 19
    SILVER LAKE
    Church of FUN
    4109 melrose ave
    6pm and 10pm, $5 presale, $10 day of show

    Sunday Jan 20
    LONG BEACH
    105 W Broadway

    Santa Cruz
    Sat. Jan 23rd
    Bike church
    703 pacific ave.  

    Oakland
    Sunday Feb 3rd
     The Roll Up Bicycle Shop & Art Space
    4401 San Leandro St

    San Fancisco
    Tuesday, February 5, 2013
    El Rio
    3158 Mission St., San Francisco

    Davis, California
    friday, April, 19
    The Domes

    Friday, May 17
    Sudo Room

    2141 Broadway
    8:30,


    Come Find Me - World Premiere
    Saturday, June 1st
    Center for Sex and Culture 
    1349 Mission Street
    8 - 10 pm,


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express

    2013

    6/12 Portland

    7/12 Anchorage

    7/20 Vancouver

    7/6 Homer, AK

    8/30 Salt Lake
    8/4 Seattle
    9/1 Ogden

    9/10 Ft. Collins
    9/5 Boulder
    9/6 Denver
    9/7 Denver
    10/1 Indianapolis
    10/10 Toronto
    10/17 Montreal
    10/21 Burlington
    10/24 Troy
    10/29 Boston
    11/1 Brooklyn
    11/10 DC
    11/14 RVA
    11/17 Raleigh
    11/23 Asheville, NC
    11/24 Knoxville, TN
    11/6 Philadelphia
    11/8 Baltimore
    12/01 Nashville
    12/04 Memphis
    12/11 Athens, GA
    12/13 Jacksonville
    12/15 Gainesville
    12/22 New Orleans
    12/26 Houston
    12/29 Galveston

    2014
    1/11 San Antonio
    1/17 Austin
    1/19 Dallas
    1/26 NOLA
    2/1 Houston




    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Bike Smut 8: Come Again


    2014
    September
    12 Portland - world premiere (with a screening of Aftermass)
    16 Eugene
    21 Eureka

    October
    2 San Francisco
    4 Davis
    8 Oakland
    9 Emeryville
    11 San Jose
    19 San Luis Obispo
    24 LA

    November
    6 Boulder @ PhoenixAsylum
    8 Denver @Velowood Cyclery
    11 Ft Collins @LyricCinema
    12 Col Springs @Voodoo Leatherworks
    14 Salt Lake @Physic's Warehouse
    21 Phoenix @ Space 55
    22 Tucson @ Screening Room


    December
    6 Austin @ North Door
    18 San Antonio @ K23 Gallery
    23 Houston @Notsuoh





    2015
    January/ Ener
    10 Puebla


    Febrero
    1 Puerto Escondito
    6 Guadalajara
    14 Salton Sea
    19 LA - Church of Fundraiser
    21 San Jose
    28 Oakland

    March
    3 San Francisco
    8 Las Vegas
    14 Tucson @ Cyberspunk
    21 Jacksonville @ Zen Cog
    23 St Augustine @ Shanghai Nobby's

    April 
     24 Toronto w the Feminist Porn Awards!

    May
    2 Montreal
    6 Burlington
    10 Boston w/ Dr Sketchy
    12 Troy
    14 Buffalo
    22 Detroit
    29 Kansas City

    Bike Smut: Back in the Saddle a second European explor-tation

     March Mars Marzo März
    7 Geneve
    8 Lausanne
    11 St-Étienne
    12 Grenoble
    13 Lyon

    April Avril Aprile April
    13 Paris @ La Mutinerie - 178 Rue Saint-Martin
    14 Ghent 
    17 Brussels @ Byrrh - 4 rue dieudonné lefevre , 1020 bruxelles
    18 Amsterdam @ Filmhuis Cavia - Van Hallstraat 52-1HG
    22 Zurich
    26 Catania, Italia @ Zeronove - Via Opificio 12

    May Mai Maggio Mai 
    7 Palermo @ Taverna Bukowski - piazzetta teatro santa cecilia 22 @ 19h
    10 Torino @ Csoa Gabrio - via Francesco Millio 42 @ 21h
    17-18 Milano @ Leoncavallo
    21 Modena @ Libera - via del Tirassegno 7 @ 21:30
    30 Roma @ ExSnia -  via Prenestina 173 @ 23:59

    June Juin Giugno Juni
    2 Roma @ ciclofficina del gazometro - via Caboto, 15 - ostiense @ 21h
    CANCELLED
    6 Napoli @ ex Asylum - Vico G.Maffei 65 @21h, post CM
    11 Pescara Sweet Polo Porno Party!
    14 Rimini @ Grotta Rossa @DIY FEST - Via della Lontra, 40
    19 Bologna @ Xm24 - via Fioravanti, 24
    22 Vicenza @ ADA Lab - via Btg. Framarin 42
    27 Padova @ TBA after Critical Mass

    July Juillet Luglio Juli 
    3 Zagreb @ FB event  20h
    10 Maribor
    12 Graz
    16 Leipzig @ Giesserstrasse 16. 21h @ Bike Wars
    18 Augsburg @ CityClub, Königsplatz. 20h
    19 Munich @ Akademiestr 2-4. 20h
    24 Linz @ BikeKitchen kapuzinerstrasse 36 21h
    25 Bratislava @ Jamaica 
    26 Vienna @ Schikaneder Margaretenstraße 24. 22h

    August Août Agosto August
    5 Vienna "B-sides" @ grillplatz 13, Donau Insel
    8 Brno @ FBB Klub Na Dráze, Nadražní 9, 21:30h
    10 Pardubice @ Inner Dark Polská 898, 20h
    30 Malmo

    September
    4 Kiel @ Muthesius-Hochschule Kiel Industriedesign Lorentzendamm 6-8  
    6 Berlin @ Eiszeitkino, Zeughofstraße 20 
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bike Smut 9: Science Friction

    2015
    June
    25 Portland, world premiere

    July
    11 Las Vegas, with the opening of the world's largest sex bike at the Erotic Heritage Museum

    18 Anchorage, Alaska part of the Midnight Sunburn bike polo tournament

    August
    9 Seattle, at the Center For Sex Positive Culture

    September
    3 Burning Man w Tender Heckles 9:15 and "A" st.

    November
    8 Denver
    10 Ft. Collins
    18 Boulder
    22 Colorado Springs

    [THE LONGEST ELAPSED TIME WITHOUT A SCREENING SINCE 2008]

    2016
    April
    23 Bristol
    29 London

    May
    5
    San Francisco
    7
    Los Angeles
    7
    Nuremberg
    21 Amsterdam

    June
    3
    Philadelphia
    5
    NYC Porn Film Fest


    July
    14 Vienna

    August
    7 Boston with lecture by rev.phil on what the fuck is this shit?
    25 Burlington with special coverage by Rachel Elizabeth Jones
    28 Troy with a Bare as You Dare Ride
    31 White River Junction

    September
    10 Montreal (feat. the consumate entertainer's epic meltdown via liberal intolerance)
    17 Harvest Fest
    22 Toronto
    24 Buffalo
    27 Columbus, OH

    October
    1 Detroit Bike!Bike!
    9 Chicago
    15 Milwaukee
    27 Minneapolis Cancelled! Wow! That's only happened like once before! (we missed the Slovenian National Downhill Championships when the gear box of our tour van, Stonewall Johnson, blew up in northern Greece)

    29 Berlin Porn Film Festival

    2017
    MEXICO
    ¡FINAL FELIZ EN MEXICO!

    APRIL
     
    21 World Bicycle Forum Ciudad de México, Casa Biciteka, 21h
    28 NAASN @ Biblioteca Social Reconstruir, Godard y Delibes, Guadalupe Victoria II, 18h

    MAY

    1 Hotel Condesa DF
    9 San Cristobal, Chiapas
    11 Oaxaca City
    12 Puebla Centro Historica
    13 Puebla
    14 Cholula


    October
    8 en Barcelona @ Rueda International Cycling Film Festival

    14 en Toulouse, France

    2018

    Friday, Feb 17 - Mexicali @ The Hive Sun, Feb 18th - TWO SHOWS - Melbourne @ Longplay
    Thu,  March 1 - Sydney  @ The Red Rattler Theatre
    Fri, March 2 - New Castle  @ The Royal Exchange
    Thursday, March 29  - New Orleans @ Zeitgeist
    Thursday, July 26 - Vancouver, BC @ The Rio  Yay! We helped SAVE THE RIO!
     
    wow slowest year ever?!? so exciting! can we do even less next year? stay tuned. Same smut channel, rather infrequently smut time!


    2019
    Friday, April 26, Kansas City @ Stray Cat Film Center
    Performances by Drugs & Attics, Riki Wallen, KC Roller Derby
    Space Kink Costume Contest
    Beer by Cinder Block, Brewery Emperial, Torn Label
    Wednesday May 8, Denver @ The Oriental Theater - SPONSORED BY: Awakenings Boutique, Velowood Cyclery, Vanilla Kink, Hey, Denver/Colorado Health Network, MiddleMan, Studio Friction, Planned Parenthood Rocky Mountains

    A HORRIBLE MIRACLE HAPPENS! THERE IS NO BIKE SMUT... until

    2023
    Sat, Oct 7, Seattle @ Chop Suey - 1325 E Madison St. - $20.00 - Ages 21+ - with Filthy FemCorps and Double or Muffin

    2026

    December 11, 2009

    Living the Festival High LIfe


    Home again in PDX and we are still getting love letters from all over, this one posted conveniently online is a pretty great review of Pornotopia, The Southwest's only sex positive film festival where Bike Porn 3 made a big splash.

    Andi Mari writes exciting tales about her adventures as a sexually aware, minivan driving mom going to a erotic porn festival 1000s of miles from home at this link HERE!

    Thanks for the excellent review of an excellent weekend. If most porn was as uplifting there we would probably have fewer sexual issues in society.

    What say you... UNREASONABLE GOAL?!?



    Regardless of your thoughts on sex positivity (sp?) You need to get ready for the future of Bike Porn! Over the next week we will be unveiling the proposed tour schedule for February-June! Over 10 thousand miles long and our most daring tour yet! We dont even know what to call it! We still need to buy a car (or perhaps a mini van?!?) to encourage better cycling. We're not sure if it is ironic but it sure feels that way.

    November 27, 2009

    Slide Down the Valley


    The Bike Porn Tour goes back to its roots: riding bikes! We are
    heading down the Willamette Valley. The NW weather sux now but it should be much better by our departure next week.

    Starting on Tuesday we will have a medium paced (70 miles/day) ride to Corvallis for a show on Thursday, December 3rd and to Eugene on Saturday, December 5th. We may be camping on Tuesday night, we have
    large houses to crash in Wednesday-Saturday. These shows are free for anyone who rides with us but we hope that your presence. will inspire others. Bring your own beadroll. We will likely be having group meals

    Interested parties should act quickly as there is an artificial cap of
    accommodations for10 riders.

    This are the last planned screenings of Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound in Oregon.

    November 20, 2009

    Sliding Down the Valley - not really

    [this post was supposed to go out a while ago, we like the image enough to make you read it today]

    Boom! We back in this Willamette Valley like a phallus sliding between cleavage.

    We are taking Thanksgiving off to gorge ourselves and others.

    Help us conclude the Chain Whip Tour in style.

    Thursday, December 3rd
    Corvallis OR

    Saturday December 5th
    Eugene, OR

    A ride from PDX to down the valley is in the works. Who wants in?

    photo credit to a strange, possibly liberal-hating sex blog? http://trollydolly.us/?p=3968

    [we were not able to slide down the valley so we will do the next best thing and drive our stupid fucking car, which we are very grateful did not have any serious issues over the past 2 months]

    November 19, 2009

    Oh, we thought you said "Ass Land"


    Back home in Oregon and it does feel fine. Now to make a run up the Willamette Valley. 1st stop is the fine town of Ashland.

    Props to our local zoobomby friends who made this show possible. As well as the local polo scene whose balls we hope to smack when the time is right.

    Anyone ever notice how cogs look like a masochist's cock ring? Yikes!

    For sexy bike time come to
    • The Cumon I Leen
    • 753 Siskiyou
    • Ashland OR
    • Friday, November 20th
    • 9pm
    • $5 (no one turned away for lack of funds, but please help us get home!)

    A great party with hot bike folk will be ongoing. Bring a few bones for good drink. Perhaps bike polo saturday?

    We are stoked to be home in Oregon, a consistent sprinkling of rain has been sorely missed.

    CORVALLIS! EUGENE! Cool your heels, we will be up in your bizness soon enough (*cough* 1st weekend of December *cough*)

    November 17, 2009

    the biggest little *.* in the world


    We are nearing the end of the Chain Whip Tour, only a few Oregon towns await their molestation from our greasy biker's paws. But for now we will take in the rich cultural experience that is Reno's finest biker bar: The Broken Spoke.

    Man does this place gleam! Beautiful wood tables, impressively old, historically awesome art and everywhere is the salt of the earth sampling the sauce.

    Normally we would be very nervous playing in a bar. Screening movies in the same space where people are ordering drinks does not make for a very conducive environment for paying attention to the screen. Thankfully their massive backroom will be transformed into a theater and make for a great place to show some porn!

    • Wednesday November 18th
    • Broken Spoke
    • 71 S. Wells Ave (down the alley)
    • 11:50pm
    • With special live performances by local entertainers


    Where *.* = the massive cumlative clitteral erections

    November 13, 2009

    Whats full of bikes and strippers?

    ... and is not Portland Oregon?

    LAS VEGAS!

    Actually, there are probably not as many strippers in Vegas as one might think. And while the sex industry is brisk, it is mostly off the street (which, coincidently, is what we have also heard regarding the cycling).

    So what are we gonna do?

    We are gonna fuck bikes like a bankrupt tradesman who has been at the blackjack table for 6 hours too long. Does that metaphor not work for you? Pft! K. Fine. we can try again later.

    But for now we will break it down for you like a pit boss giving the facts.

    • Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound
    • Saturday November 14th
    • Onyx Theatre
    • 953 S. Sahara Ave #16
    • 7pm
    • $10, 21+
    • Includes Jello Shots

    Afterwards, who knows? Maybe this weekend we will get into some star gazing, or bike polo with UNLV Bikes, or who-knows-what-else!

    Just do us a favor and try and squeegee up when you are done abusing those top tubes, okay?



    photo credit to mtn bike forums

    getting waved down in flagstaff


    In 12 hours of riding around Flagstaff this pornographer was stopped by the police 3 times. They were usually pretty polite and respectful and thankfully none of the interactions resulted in any tickets being given. This could be due to the excellent police handling we have received over the years.

    The 3rd and final confrontation began at the intersection of the rail road tracks and San Francisco St. after 3am. The train had just passed and the light was about to change. This biker was rolling though a yellow that changed to red while in the large empty street. This conversation took place in the middle of historic route 66.

    [BLEET BLEET] (can someone else suggest a better onomatopoeic word for a police horn?)

    • Bicycle Pornographer: Yes? Hello?
    • Bored Police: You need to follow the law.
    • BP: The #1 law is care of yourself. Look around, there is no cross traffic. You are the only car on the street. You are the only source of danger.
    • BP: I will write you a ticket if you want.
    • BP: No sir, thank you.
    And while that interaction was actually not as snarky as is sounds (quite the opposite it was entirely heartfelt), our friends and co-pornographers from Tempe who drove 2 hours North to see the show were stopped twice while leaving town after the show. Thankfully they had a designated driver but apparently the police they dealt with were not as respectful:

    ... that didn't stop the cop from giving Mark (the only person in the car that hadn't even had a beer that night) a 30 minute sobriety test. That guy was a dick. - Lindsey B.
    Even our host at the Foto Barn said that he was recently arrested and spent the night in jail (and nearly missed going to Burning Man) for jaywalking. He was not friendly to the police he was in fact quite irate. And justifiably so. When downtown business owners are not able to cross the street because a police officer decided that you "did it in an unsafe manner and while we are talking let me run your identification" that borders on some 4th amendment stuff, never mind the question of whose interests are you protecting?

    This all wouldn't make us feel so bothered except that it does reek of classism. On one hand if there are going to be armed people who can detain and/or kill citizens at their discretion we want them trained and compensated well enough that they are not shaking anyone down for protection money. On the other hand no one on the bike porn tour has health insurance. Meanwhile, here is a list of the benefits of being a Flagstaff officer:

    Medical, dental, vision, life insurance

    Deferred compensation

    11 days vacation

    Flexible Spending Accounts

    11 paid holidays

    Annual wellness assessment

    12 days sick leave

    Repetitive Motion Therapy

    Public Safety Retirement

    Credit Union membership

    Bereavement leave

    Direct deposit

    Jury duty leave

    Cell phone discounts

    Military leave

    Promotional Opportunities

    Family & Medical Leave

    Continuing Education

    Employee Assistance Program

    In-house training opportunities



    Yes, it is true we ARE jealous of their "benefits package" which includes repetitive motion therapy, anal wellness, and even house training! (For those who qualify)

    That said, we are totally grateful that we were able to leave town giving them only time. Lots and lots of our time. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again.



    November 11, 2009

    josh guest post #1

    This is the 1st post by fellow bike porn tourista joshua while on tour...
    ------------------------------------------------

    Howdy fellow bikesexuals,

    First off, I would love to say that this tour has been the shit. Thanks to all the awesome people who have hosted us and helped contribute to make this tour a success and to the people who have kept both our cycles and us, the bike pornographers, well lubricated. If you ever find yourself in ABQ, New Mexico, and your bicycle needs a tune-up or something, go see the guys at the Bike Coop or Fixed and Free. The guys from these respective shops are lovely people who love bicycles (who knew?). They helped us out and we appreciate it.

    We're just now finishing up our show in Flagstaff, and it was a huge success. Now we set our sights on Vegas! Come hang out, see some lovely adult themed bicycle films, and go for a bike ride or two.

    Now it's time for me to find some cigarettes to bum, and something with alcohol in it....
    Peace.

    November 9, 2009

    When you steal from bike porn, you steal from the future

    Fuck our fans! They keep stealing our cool shit! Snached from the Guild Cinema walls before the movie was even over...



    Some annoyingly overexcited bikesexuals in Ogden, Boulder and now ABQ has thieved our best art! We had only a few of these posters. Now we have none. Thus at all the upcoming shows in Flagstaff and Vegas and Reno and Ashland - no one is gonna see our fucking amazing poster art for the next years program.



    It hurts!

    We would love to have our posters returned. We want to see them again; to at least know they are being loved.



    [saddness envelops]



    November 8, 2009

    Raising the Flagstaff



    Coming out of the steamy bowl that is ABQ following Pornotopia, our team has reached the southeastern edge of the Chain Whip Tour universe. From now on it is nothing but traveling north by northwest.


    1st stop on our voyage home is the rather conservative town of Flagstaff, AZ. Where no amount of e-mail harassment produced more than a shriek and/or an attempt at a pleasant "no we really don't want you or anyone else to fuck our bikes, thank you" deferral letter. Until we met the folks at the PhotoBarn. They have been great pimpin' the goods on our behalf and making us feel welcome before we even got to the show!







    So much so that they are requesting a 2nd show this Wednesday night, which is pretty encouraging of a very porn-ready community considering this show was only set up a week ago.





    photo credit to http://www.justlaura.com/?cat=1

    November 6, 2009

    durango we hardly knew ye


    So with a great deal of sadness, we have accepted that we won't be able to screen BikePorn3 in Durango.

    This will be a devastating blow, as we reserved a Saturday for those crazy mofos who hosted what we heard was the greatest sswc for all time.

    But as it turns out we are busting our balls and ovaries to make it to Pornotopia in Albuquerque.

    Our program of sexy cycling will be shown to the ravenous porn people of Albuquerque Sunday November 8th at 5:30pm.

    We hope to be able to unveil our new line of floggers via the folks at Kink Tank in Denver.

    Bring it!

    November 4, 2009

    Ho(ly) Abs in Moab

    Moab, the land of slickrock (which is actually very tacky), reminds us of some similar experiences in the shower...

    Friday November 6th
    2951 S. Desert Rd
    Moab, UT
    8pm
    $5 suggested donation

    On-street car parking only. If you want to ride the sweet bus meet at Chile Pepper at 6pm. They will haul you, and your bike, to the party!

    That is right, we said "party." Following the show, we are gonna have a massive party and BBQ and sundries! Enjoy!


    That blog title was pretty much a stretch even for us. How about you suggest something with more brilliance?

    November 1, 2009

    Look at the size of the (genetalia shapped) Fruita


    FINALLY!

    For over a year we have been trying with great... uh, whatever the opposite of success is, to get a screening in one of the most underrated lands of epic singletrack.

    Our friends at Hot Tomato Cafe (who we found courtesy of the venerable and talented Dr. Doom) were very willing to help, if only they weren't remodeling their pizzatorium. Then there was the unnamed would-be pro-women cycling group whose response to the idea of acknowledging the sexuality of cycling was as visceral and ignorant as a South Carolina Senator. So what's a pornographer to do?

    Turn to the bike shops. Those mechanix who use tools everyday to lube, stretch, pound, and ream those objects of freedom and desire deserve it.

    Thus our quest was not fruitless!

    • Wednesday November 4th
    • Over The Edge Sports
    • 202 E. Aspen Ave.
    • Donations accepted
    • 8pm, mature adults only

    Come out and enjoy some refreshing beverages for cheap!

    photo credit to FearlessGearless and Chris Pierce

    downtime

    We're taking a refreshing break for a few days. This weekend we have three shows in three days in Moab, Durango (we think?) and Albuquerque so we could use the rest.

    An enlightened discussion of bicycle eroticism

    For those of you who

    A) were at the incredible screening of Cycle Bound this Friday, which included Japanese-style bondage and suspension (pics soon)

    B) are interested in the content available on this website

    C) consider yourself bikesexually curious

    Tonight, Sunday November 1st Denver Kink Tank is hosting a discussion about these and other topics. There has also been rumor of some secret awesome submission that Denver is hoping to produce for next year's program. We're so excited we just can't hide it.

    Kink Tank
    Sunday, Nov 1st
    Sugar Mountain

    (2670 E. 13th Ave.)
    7pm


    Photo stolen without mercy from 45x15

    October 30, 2009

    Your Shit About to Get Fucked


    Happy Halloween!

    This scary vision of a commuter's nightmare (and below a reinterpretation of Munch's "The Scream") worked out pretty well. Thanks to our remote team out in Severance, CO who helped inspire this work.

    Stay safe, take chances, eat a dick or any other delectably stimulating organ.

    October 29, 2009

    Denver is All Tied Up

    BOOYA!
    Due to stupid-awesome demand we present
    BONUS EXTRA DOUBLE PLUS GOOD SCREENING TONIGHT!
    BIKE PORN 3 @ DENVER BOUND
    DENVER BOUND
    721 W Bayaud Ave
    9pm AND 11 pm

    Denver has immediately become close to the bike pornographers' hearts which are in our torsos, but not specifically where most people actually keep their hearts. Last year we had such a spanking good time mixing it up with the folks of Kink Tank, and showing 2 shows of Bike Porn at Orange Cat Studios (which has supposedly burned down? WTF!??), that we knew we would be back.

    Upon arrival our hosts took us to the first in a series of Freeschool Denver screenings of Wes Anderson movies - Bottle Rocket, one of our favorites.

    This morning after a solid 18" of snowfall we found out that not only is there a girls-only allycat this weekend, but that The Denver Mallet Mafia is hosting a polo tourny, bike soccer is going on as well, and adding to the mix the Bicycle Film Festival is in town. We knew it would happen sometime but feel vastly underprepared for it. What about the intrigue? What about the drama? What about the mysterious (possibly evil) twin brother of Brent Barbor's who nearly sketched us out in Tucson last year? Will these 2 behemoths of bike culture compete for an audience? Do the mainstream viewers of bike movies feel torn? Will there be a degree of pocket book voting as the underemployed bohemian decides his or her bicycle movie entertainment solely on cost of the show?

    Friday night at 9pm the battle for bicycle-film-going audiences is on. BFF's "Fun Bike Shorts" vs BP3's "Long Hard Fun"

    With all these events, how are you gonna keep your bike properly restrained? If you are feeling that your bike needs to be taught a lesson (or that your bike should have a chance to get you back for dragging it through a bunch of snow and muck?), we have got you covered. Master Robert and Owen will be demonstrating some rope bondage tricks! Its gonna be a hell of a show. Dress in bike fetish wear and share your best.


    • Friday October 30th
    • Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound
    • Denver Bound
    • 721 W Bayaud Ave
    • 9pm, 11pm
    • $5, 19+

    October 25, 2009

    350 reasons to breathe easy w bike porn now w more naked




    Ya gotta give it up to the sexy bikers of Ft Collins. Even though we had to sneak into a CSU theater to share Cycle Bound and it was cold and all we had to warm ourselves was a keg of Mothership Wirt we were still able to make a mostly visible point about the quantity of CO2 in the air. Did you find the hidden message?

    Given that the number of walkouts has diminished considerably since we left the Idaho/Utah borderlands and our Denver show is still a few days off we MIGHT have a show this week in Greeley, Colorado. Greeley is the eastern boundary of the bike trail that runs along the "Pooter" River in Ft Collins. A massive bike ride with lots of people would totally kickass. It is probably known best for the meat backing plant that was written about in Fast Food Nation. Sounds like a perfect fit.


    We know there are some good pics from the awesome show we did in Boulder, please remember to let us know what you think!