Commuting to work inside a building has never been more... uncomfortable?
Behold the strange world of interoffice bikesexual politics:
Does selling jeans mean you can't use your hands to signal your turns? And if they are so fashon forward why can't they build sunglasses into some fucking helmets??!!?? Bicycle Jesus knows you betta keep your protection at the ready.
They should be complimented for at least having some male chest in the video, but why is there so little diversity in handlebars? Straight or drop seem like the only two options, and they would all look way more comfortable if they would learn to sit up and beg.
credit to Urban Velo
Showing posts with label sell out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sell out. Show all posts
July 11, 2011
May 27, 2009
Industry buffs and rebuffs some more
We have long stated that biking is sexy on its own merits. Heath, movement, freedom. It is all pretty fucking sexy without any additional fluff. But then "fluff" is what keeps the industry rolling and apparently the bike sex industry has some new players.
What we got here... hot girl in wings in the foreground, some lycra in the back. Seems like the industry standard hasn't changed much. Perhaps we should be grateful that there are any men at all (we think some of those blurs are men).
Of course on the far other side of the contingent Tea Bags on Toptubes has been dominating the world of bicycle sexual perversion for some time (we believe their blog was "instigated" on Clinton Street following the first ever screening of The Pornography of the Bicycle. A claim to fame if we ever heard of one.
What we got here... hot girl in wings in the foreground, some lycra in the back. Seems like the industry standard hasn't changed much. Perhaps we should be grateful that there are any men at all (we think some of those blurs are men).
Of course on the far other side of the contingent Tea Bags on Toptubes has been dominating the world of bicycle sexual perversion for some time (we believe their blog was "instigated" on Clinton Street following the first ever screening of The Pornography of the Bicycle. A claim to fame if we ever heard of one.
April 23, 2009
Bikexploitation Music
How do you treat your ride?
During our last tour we were inundated with requests. "Please sell me your sheeet!" they would say. Steadfastly and with the restraint of a god-fearing spinster we declined. We have not sold anything but the cinema experience.
Still, as with any respectable pornographer, the audience's pain is our pain. When they were denied sharing such torrid future-classics like "Smut Pedaler" with their loved ones who could not make it to the screening we were also stricken with grief.
Finally, after much deliberation and consternation it was decided that, yes, we could share something.
Behold: "Sounds of Bikexploitation"
This compact disk holds music that our various producers found/stole/created in conjunction with "Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation". It is excellent and is totally the music needed to get yourself in the mood to do something extracurricular with your bike.
Already the response from our presale have been astounding:
only $10 (shipping and just the right amount of handling is included)
BikeSmut@gmail.com
Do not delay! order your audiopornocontent today!
During our last tour we were inundated with requests. "Please sell me your sheeet!" they would say. Steadfastly and with the restraint of a god-fearing spinster we declined. We have not sold anything but the cinema experience.
Still, as with any respectable pornographer, the audience's pain is our pain. When they were denied sharing such torrid future-classics like "Smut Pedaler" with their loved ones who could not make it to the screening we were also stricken with grief.
Finally, after much deliberation and consternation it was decided that, yes, we could share something.
Behold: "Sounds of Bikexploitation"
This compact disk holds music that our various producers found/stole/created in conjunction with "Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation". It is excellent and is totally the music needed to get yourself in the mood to do something extracurricular with your bike.
Already the response from our presale have been astounding:
"Some songs are sweet and tender, the kind of music that feels appropriate for giving your bike a bath, other tracks are violent and may encourage you to treat your bike like the dirty slut it is." - Asshly
"You know that feeling when you slide in a CD into your player and it just gets like sucked in? that is what I am feeling right now." - Terry O'Beil
only $10 (shipping and just the right amount of handling is included)
BikeSmut@gmail.com
Do not delay! order your audiopornocontent today!
December 31, 2008
why not sell out?
Frequently we are asked about our principle regarding DVD sales. We have, from time to time been very tempted to produce DVDs. But at the moment we have no plans to release any video works. We dont even make screeners for theaters (providing an additional challenge to booking venues).
Here are some excuses:
A) because while Bike Smut does create a fair amount of content, most of the works are from other filmmakers, many of whom are interested in protecting their identity. No DVDs (not even to theaters wanting to preview it) mean that there is almost no chance that their content will end up online.
B) being in a space with others watching adult-themed material (be it violent, sexual or otherwise) creates a feeling vastly different from being at home. And it is not just because you feel more comfortable masturbating in front of your computer! (public/group masturbation can be awkward but is often exciting. Build up courage by trying it in front of a mirror, or your pets).
C) the value of bringing together of people who feel mature enough to sit though something and then have the stability of mind to discuss a topic afterward is difficult to overestimate. In a society where everyone is anonymous how does anyone establish what is obscene?
...
Y) We are lazy.
Here are some excuses:
A) because while Bike Smut does create a fair amount of content, most of the works are from other filmmakers, many of whom are interested in protecting their identity. No DVDs (not even to theaters wanting to preview it) mean that there is almost no chance that their content will end up online.
B) being in a space with others watching adult-themed material (be it violent, sexual or otherwise) creates a feeling vastly different from being at home. And it is not just because you feel more comfortable masturbating in front of your computer! (public/group masturbation can be awkward but is often exciting. Build up courage by trying it in front of a mirror, or your pets).
C) the value of bringing together of people who feel mature enough to sit though something and then have the stability of mind to discuss a topic afterward is difficult to overestimate. In a society where everyone is anonymous how does anyone establish what is obscene?
...
Y) We are lazy.
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