Happy BikeFucking Halloween

Its time for our never before annual punnishment post, where we make lots of lame jokes by replacing our normal vocabulary with phrases like, "Good as Ghoul" and ... eh actually no we don't need any sort of holiday to make talking like an idiot more appropriate because we do that kinda think nearly every time we post.


Given that we are coming up on a return to Colorado with screenings in Denver, Ft Collins, Boulder and Colorado Springs in November and that it is another political season it seemed appropriate to share some of our back log of exciting images from years past. Prepare your saddle for our way in the back machine as we travel to this date in 2008!


Seven years ago we had a plucky crew of reverend phil, Josh and Spencer aka Team Twink traversing the US Southwest on a mountain-bike-polo-porno-adventure. Politics were in high season. John McCain and Sarah Palin were on a similar wavelength: go to Colorado and convince people that we are not only amusing to listen to, we also have some really valuable ideas on politics.  It would seem Bike Smut was a little more successful than McCain/Palin 08.



 So it was that we would ride bikes with some of the finest, most creative mtn bike freaks on earth in the town of Durango, Colorado

perhaps a modified Gumby Twink costume...



hella political... no matter what year it is

The sweet babes were naturally drawn to our casual, pornographer-about-small-town ways

naturally, a photoshoot broke out

baldness became fashionable

The Rally of the Dead became a full on rolleskater disco

occasionally bursts of romance would burst like so many popping veins

notice the cross of Bicycle Jesus. For formal occasions only.

way before Twilight there was... a delightful bloody mess

some asshole parked on the dance floor. It probably wasn't us!

 roll up and grind down

an epic story about this, Baily's frame should be documented. but not here. Suffice it to say if you know where it is buried you could grave rob a sweet frame.

more responsible consumption continued throughout the following day and night

We never did actually check this person's ID. prb for the best that we didn't

An impressive assortment of boning happened on the award table

 the following day was a lot of bike polo, played on grass, right in the middle of town

grass polo... its a thing, especially in Colorado

nothing would stop us from standing and observing others.

we do suffer for the art... well someone does anyway.

Presenting the team that traveled the farthest to loose a polo game on grass: The Pork Barrels

free hugs?

So here is where we wish you a Happy Halloween. Also something about politics and a cute play on words to make this entire blog post seem well thought out.


- the end

Come Again, Alaska, its the Midnight Sunburn!

"Bikes and cussin' and carrying on" - the low key way to infer of a festive time among people who love to love (and hate) on each other! Right up there with tomfoolery and horseplay and a pile of other adjectives for mostly safe fucking around.

This weekend is the 4th annual Midnight Sunburn Bike Polo Tournament! Hosted by the people at Anchorage Bike Polo who on top of a great series of bicycle games, rides and a smattering of pleasureful things will also include the northern most screening of Bike Smut in 2015.

That means epic vistas! Fun fucking rides! Mobile hot tubs! 

• Wear a helmet? Sure! Your protection and your comfort are your business.
• Wear down your opponents? Sure! The abuse you dish out should be equivalent to the pain you can suffer though. Infliction is one thing but this is some old style polo. mallet to mallet, bike to bike, body to body.
• Watching amazing bicycle erotica? Absofuckinlutly! Its gonna be a hell of a party and if our last time out is any indication we expect to we rewarded with a pile of smiles.
   

 We had so much fun last time we have great expectations for the future.  

Cuntclusion of the Bike Fucking Tour of Italy

We are in the final push across the Northeast to cover this country with better sex and better transportation. We are thrilled to be here celebrating the European Hardcourt Bike Polo Championships! It may be the wettest event we have been since a Mini Bike Winter Cupcake Challenge resulted in a near death by riding a bike into the Willamette River.

We also will get to ride with Critical Mass this Friday in Padova and we have great hopes that we will find a creative way to share our program with all the rad bikers who keep doing it in the street!

We also have some excellent contacts in Venice, a city that is so car-free you can't even ride your bike in it. How will this turn our for our plucky team of intrepid porno explorers?

Stay tuned via our various social media diseases:

https://twitter.com/#!/BikeSmut
Great for immediate action. Lots of pictures from the tour and other musings mostly bike-sex related!

http://bikesmut.tumblr.com/
Like pictures? Loads of sexy bikers doing it, doing it and doing it rad!

https://www.facebook.com/BikePornFilms
If you have a face you can put it right up this URL!

or just do it old school style and write us a letter: bikesmut@gmail.com 

We only are a little annoyed by people who can write us but can't bother to look on the website we take so long to update. [grumblegruble]

Sicily, What a Fucking Island

What a fabulous time on the island of Sicily!

A micro vacation in paradise with loads of hot bikers and perverts? We accept!

The Catania Bike Festival was a massive and well organized. With loads of bike events in a large park overlooking the Centro we had 3 days of spectacular views, races, activities, bike polo, entertainment, Critical Mass and of course bici porno!

They have some great people there working together to make great things happen. Zeronove, for example, is a grand bike shop / venue / culture gathering spot. Catania is lucky to have them.

Among the great things Catania has going for it include Europe's largest active volcano, Mt. Etna. Dwarfing Mt. Tabor (Portland's own volcano), Mt Etna covers an area 1506 times as large. Where you can ride the circle on top of Tabor in less than 60 seconds our circumnavigation of Etna took about 10 hours, alternating from pavement, to gravel, to sand, to wooded paths, to boulders, to expansive lava flows and back to pavement. But if the surface was varied the climate was constantly changing! On our circumnavigation our elevation was mostly between 1,500 and 2,200 meters and we got no shortage of weather. Full sun, driving rain, sleet, snow, and brisk winds so strong I found myself braking on an incline! After traveling and biking for so many years you start to think you have seen it all, then you realize you are accelerating beyond your comfort going uphill and you haven't pedaled in the past 30 seconds. That was different.

say "lesbian"

in the distance, mainland Italy

It took a little be of figuring out but we got a last minute show in Palermo. We do mean last minute. We found out about a show at Taverna Bukowski and asked to be added to the schedule the day before. An hour after the show was over we were on a ferry heading north to Genova to continue our Bicycle Fucking Tour d' Italia!

Can we bring more bikesexual excitement to Italy? YES WE CAN!