Finishing the Texas Two Step

Double down! We are closing out 2014 with grace and patience. Rather than going crazy busting ass providing our delicious, hand-crated, human-powered, sex-positive porno to as many willing recipients as possible we will be practically relaxing with only with a pair of fun shows in Texas!

We are in Houston!

Nostuoh is one of those places that when you say you are hosting a screening of erotic bicycle films they often raise their eyebrows and say, "oh really?" then they nod and follow up with, "well that would be perfect" and it always has been. A great staff and a bar that is more than just "Houston" spelled backwards it actually emulates bizzaro world Houston. We have not officially seen anyone paid to drink there but it wouldn't surprise us. It is a wonderful place for the misfits of otherwise mind numbing downtown to gather to enjoy bikeporn... for one night only!

Tuesday, December 23rd
Notsuoh
314 Main Street
8pm, $7 donation, 21+
FB event page

Thursday, Dec 18th
K23 Gallery 
702 Fredericksburg Rd
doors at 7pm, performances at 8:30
$3 suggested donation, 21+ 
 FB event page

Featuring art by Louie Chavez, Frances Minten, Mark Olivares, Jessica Garcia, Tony Gnosis, Marc Montoya, Bryan Duff, Shannon Wingate, Eric Montez, Dani Dickson, Angelle Benitez, as well as San Antonio’s only screening of the 8th Annual Bike Smut Film Festival! With a live performances by Zombie Bazaar, comedy and spoken word by Javier Bazaldua, Travis Reyes, Brian Powell and Casey Chacon.  Music by PopGuy. 

Then we get our longest break in years! More than two weeks! So exciting! 

San Antonio on The Porny Express

We had a good run of shows with our friends at Boneshakers in San Antonio. Since last year they have closed their doors and are moving on meaning we gotta move it too! No more shaking the bones, its time to slip somethin into your bottom bracket, if ya know what we're sayin.

The Bottom Bracket Social Club
1603 N Colorado
8pm
$5, +21
Presented by K23 Gallery (soon to be San Antonio's premiere gallery of crazy sex stuff!)

Wiener down!

 

Wiener up!

We only have a few more shows left in this region, make sure your friends know about em!

Jan 17 - Austin - Spiderhouse Ballroom - 2906 Fruth St.

Jan 19 - Dallas - Southside Lamar - 1409 S. Lamar St.  

Feb 1 - Houston - Super Happy Fun Land - 3801 Polk St. 

The Southwest Roundup

Yes, we have no blog posts. This communication is as much a form of living history as it is promotional tool so we only feel slightly annoyed withoutselves that we have had multiple shows that didnt get their full due on this blog.

But in memorial

Jan 5 - Amazing show in Austin. Thanks to the folks at Bed Post Confessions and Queer Ride
Jan 8 - Nearly rained out show at Boneshakers in San Antonio. Them bikers are melty.
Jan 11 - A real show in Tucson at The Screening Room w/ Whiskey Breath Burlesque

and tonight
Jan 12 - we do another show in Phoenix at The Trunk Space w/ the Rusty Spoke collective!

All this because our van mostly died 4 times! Fuck cars, we dont need no stinking exaust!

Car free? Care free!

Touring the Texas Triangle

We have spent the past couple weeks meeting all the amazing bike-sexuals and other fantastic weirdos we can in the great trinangle of east Texas. (Houston, Austin and San Antonio). And we would like to thank everyone who has helped us out. Whether it was setting up fantastic shows, putting roofs over our head, or inviting us to xmas, we are truly grateful.

Like aloha means hello and goodbye, we think 'Howdy' can can work the same. With great sadness we have to say "Howdy for now" as we announce our final show in east Texas. Lucky o'l' San Antonio will do the honors.

Tuesday, December 27th

Boneshakers

1116 W Mitchell St

11pm

$5

Bike Polo @ The Slab before hand. 8pm, Probant & Cevallos

$2 pints at Boneshakers all night &

super delicious pizza. yum!

Get your FaceKrackin Invite on

Hope we get to come back soon, y'all!!

The Lone Star gets Porn Stars

The last time we were in San Antonio...

After a super sextastic show in Austin on Sunday, San Antonio has stepped up to the Orgasm Trail challenge! Boneshakers Bicycle Pub has invited us to do a show tomorrow night and supplied us with great art to boot!

Tuesday, December 20th

Boneshakers

1116 W Mitchell St

11pm

$5

w/ $2 pints all night!

San Antonio Returns the Flavor

We have been the recipients of some pretty good media coverage over the years. This year's Bike Porn program has pulled people's ears back more than ever, and coincidentally, this article in the San Antonio Current continues the trend of excellent articles that actually get the point of creating a safe space for adults to be adults.

A silent stop-motion called Cyclust kicked off the film programming, and its rainy-day palette and naturalistic girl-on-girl action modified my expectations for the evening. The even-shorter short that followed, Sperm, a clever black-and-white, culminated with the titular cell penetrating a bicycle gear. It wasn’t so weird to watch porn in public.

The “bound” element of the tour’s title became more pronounced in No No No Yes, wherein a boozing, scantily clad woman unlocked her bikefriend — a gentleman with a seat strapped to his back, handlebars to his neck — and proceeded to caress his parts. Ashley Lindstrom

With all the McDonald's Playplaces and similar hypoallergenic areas in the world these days it seems that "child friendly" is the only concern that measures these days. What is missing from this picture of course is that without safe spaces for adults to consider and discuss adult themes people are forced to repress feelings which often results in unpleasant releasing of pent up emotions in inappropriate places.

Thus the prude who steadfastly refuses to even discuss the idea of porn is basically committing themselves to having a tragically awkward time dealing with such matters in the future.

So watch some fucking porn.
http://www.the-scientist.com/2010/3/1/29/1/

For the children. (SERIOUSLY GOOD INFO ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PORN AND SEX CRIMES)


Thanks for Ashley Lindstrom and Noah

Trolloping across Texas

How is it that our expansive bike porn industries was able to find a venue in Houston and even San Antonio but not in Austin?

We have seen a lot of demand for bike porn in Texas but as is frequently the case where we have lots of people asking to see the show we can't find a venue to show it.

And before you start leaving comments about where we should show here is an ever expanding list of places that have turned us down or ignored our frequent attempts at starting a conversation:

Alamo Drafthouse
Dobie (and consequently all Landmark Theaters)
Hideout
Studio 501
The Long Center
The Salvage Vanguard Theatre
The Coldtowne Theatre

And there are a few more if we bother to remember... Some of the places told us they wanted to do it but couldn't for various reasons, others... well we can only guess they hate bikes sense everyone loves sex right?

But it does beg the question, would ignore Bikes and Sex?

Austin venues.

But the people seem to be clamoring for it. Hope we can accommodate the masses.

But before we get too sad about the supposedly "bike-friendly oasis" that is the Texas state capitol we are grateful and excited to bring the goods to SA for the first time

• Monday March 8th
• C 4 Workspace
• 108 King William
• San Antonio, TX 78204
• 7pm, $5, +18

And the beat goes on...

photo credit to
cozy beehive