Showing posts with label The Porny Express. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Porny Express. Show all posts

May 16, 2015

Come Again, Detroit!

When we were in LA this past year they said, "Hey it's been two years since a show! We dont want to miss any of it so we are doing two shows back to back!"

Okay

Detroit now hosts some expatriot bikesexuals of LA among other places and they being in the same place responded in kind. "Its been two year's since Detroit hosted a screening! We want double pleasure too!"

Fine

We make all your bikesexual dreams come true!

Friday May 22nd
Cinema Detroit
3420 Cass Ave
8pm - Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express
10pm - Bike Smut 8: Come Again
GET TICKETS

FB event page



Plus this weekend is the Movement... Detroit's premiere electronic music festival, and we have bikesexuals who will be repaving the streets with fine-ass dance moves!

mobile dance after porn party FB event page

Its been a while since that perfect bike fucking storm gathered but it seems ready to Come Again!

May 4, 2014

Bike Fucking Tour 'd Italia

Happy MayDay! This month has a lot of beautiful bikers blooming already and now we have an updated Bike Fucking Tour 'd Italia plan!


We take a ferry from Sicily to Genoa then ride to the northwest of Italian city of Torino (famous for its Shrouds and Fiats). There the famed social center, Gabrio will host our bikesexual projections.
10/05 Torino @ Csoa Gabrio - via Francesco Millio 42 @ 21h

 
After Torino we are heading east to our biggest show of the tour! The reason we said, "Yes! You made a great film and we will return to Europe!" They have arranged for our show to be hosted in the center at the city's most historic squat turned social center turned self-managed public space. Expect a lot, you will get it!
17/05 - 18/05 Milano @ Leoncavallo

mmm... saucy
Leaving all that excitement in our wake our fucking bike ride takes us further into Italy where all your Balsamic vinegar originated
21/05 Modena @Libera - via del Tirassegno 7 @ 21:30


We are hoping we can find contacts in other parts of Italy (eg Florence) on our way back south to the capital of capitals, to where all bike fucking roads lead.
31/05 Roma @TBA

Then it is only another 800 km to Slovenia. That's a lot of pasta. This Bike Fucking Tour d' Italia has a lot of exciting kilometers to pound! Thanks for your encouragement!

count the extra "nipples"
 

January 31, 2014

Houston: The Porny Express' Final Delivary

SCREWSTON!







Saturday, Feb 1
Super Happy Fun Land
3801 Polk ave
8pm doors, 9pm show
$5-10 Suggested Donation
Adults Only

Its the end of the tour as we know it and my ass is FEELIN FINE!

January 26, 2014

Double dippin in NOLA

We are coming on the end of The Porny Express!

It is strange how things end sometimes.  After bike touring more than 3,000 miles across North America, riding and scheming from Minneapolis to Montreal to (almost, but soon we hope) Mexico.

But now we are on a sort of post holiday, holiday. Instead of bike touring Bike Smut is bringing The Porny Express on the fucking bus. If any great orgasms result from our cushy ride we will let you know. Also different is the pacing. For most of the tour we did 2-3 shows a week but now we only have two more! One of which is in New Orleans TONIGHT!

January 26th
The Mudlark
1200 Port
8pm, $5-10

Then only one final screening left!


January 17, 2014

Dallas hops on The Porny Express

There is a city in Texas that more than any others conjurers images of Amerikana. Football players (doing drugs), cheerleaders (on drugs), and (drug filled) cherry pie.
Okay, maybe El Paso is a bigger hub for drug trafficking, but when we think of eccentric, wealthy people who are just barely holding onto their marbles, we think of...



But this aint no game. This is real. Everyday means something, and until you figure out who shot JR you are just gonna have to keep pounding them hard Dallas streets, living your life as you desire, just as any emancipated, sex-positive, human-powered person would, with or without drugs.

But Sunday is special. On that day of rest we are gonna get so fucking active! We have a really amazing venue right downtown with really good seats. Only thing is its pretty tight. Better get there early.

7pm Cocktail Reception with Local Performance Artists and Introduction by the curator of this Erotic Bicycle Film Festival.

With Performances by The Amazing Boobzilla!

8:30pm Theatre Doors Close. Bicycle Porn Begins. Yes, porn. Sex & Bikes & Sexy Bike People. Theatre seating for 30 people with a small amount of extra room for those who are okay sitting on the floor.

10pm Afterparty at Absinthe Lounge

*SPACE IS VERY LIMITED
*21 & Up ONLY. $10 suggested donation, no one turned away.
*One Night Only

https://www.facebook.com/events/516225038484623/






This is our first ever screening in Dallas, make it count!

January 7, 2014

Austin on The Porny Express


Austin is the original "Keep _something_ weird" and sometimes is called the Portland of the South. It has been bucking the trends of conservative Texas for a long time. Now after years of struggle for a slice of the streets we are witnessing the emergence of bikesexuals everywhere! From the ATXHBPC hosting the Lingerace, full of bikini clad people riding all over town to more historically reserved groups' understanding and pleading of support we have seen some big changes in our 6 years of visiting the Capitol of Texas.

Plus we have lots of help!




Queer Ride is a local group advocating for "THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA" in the most adorable way possible. Looking cute on a bike and helping either other be safe and seen! They are hosting the pre-party where you get to cut and paste your own vision of bikesexuality! Bring some bike mags, bring some porn, bring some scissors or borrow ours. Starts at 6pm and gets you into the show for half off the normal price!  FB event: https://www.facebook.com/events/574223955982394/






The Amazing Boobzilla and David the Goliath make up the dynamic duo from the “Oh No!” Variety Show and will dazzle you with her breasts of destruction! Boobzilla was diagnosed with Gigantomastia at 13 years of age. Instead of sheltering herself from society, she embraced her look and the superhuman powers her mutant boobilities give her. This lovely fear freak can crush your skull with her TITS! She has become famous for training to lift over 200 pounds and even breaking concrete bricks...with nothing but her breasts of steel!




Do The Right Thing, Austin! is a crew dedicated to getting you dancing. Following the films they are taking control of your body with your implicit consent! Expect piles of sweat and possibly no pants as you drive yourself into body shaking ecstasy!
This DJ team that spins fancy Italian disco, degenerate top 40 mash-ups, hipster electro, and especially for this occasion filthy booty grinding hip-hop.
sign up on their FB event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/1396214470628149/





All of this plus The Porny Express is made possible by the fine people at The Spider House Ballroom who are drop kicking the bike love for this fly night!

 


We have had a great run of shows in Austin and we expect many more.






January 5, 2014

San Antonio on The Porny Express

We had a good run of shows with our friends at Boneshakers in San Antonio. Since last year they have closed their doors and are moving on meaning we gotta move it too! No more shaking the bones, its time to slip somethin into your bottom bracket, if ya know what we're sayin.

The Bottom Bracket Social Club
1603 N Colorado
8pm
$5, +21
Presented by K23 Gallery (soon to be San Antonio's premiere gallery of crazy sex stuff!)



Wiener down!



Wiener up!

We only have a few more shows left in this region, make sure your friends know about em!

Jan 17 - Austin - Spiderhouse Ballroom - 2906 Fruth St.
Jan 19 - Dallas - Southside Lamar - 1409 S. Lamar St.  
Feb 1 - Houston - Super Happy Fun Land - 3801 Polk St. 

December 28, 2013

Galveston on The Porny Express

Its the end of the year as we know it and we feel DAMN fine!

2013 was great to Bike Smut but before we are able to take account of the latest advances in the bikesexual industry we have one final show on a small island in the Gulf of Mexico. For the first time ever Bike Smut is going to Galveson!



Sunday, December 29th
Vanishing Point
2411 Strand St
7pm, $5 donation, 21+

The island's first European construction was a port made in the early 1800s by a French pirate to help the young Republic of Mexico fight the Spanish Armada. Galveston grew to be among the most active ports in the Americas, earning the title, "The Wall Street of the South". Then less than 100 years later the city suffered what is still the United State's most deadly natural disaster when a hurricane killed about a quarter of its inhabitants.





The former Texas financial capitol is not to be confused with Galvatron, the reincarnated spirit of Megatron used by Unicron to take over the Decepticons. (Where in Lenard Nimoy engages in interstellar political warfare on the behalf of Orson Welles who just wants to enjoy his final meal after eating both of Cyberton's moon planets, which certainly was the most deadly event in Transformer history)


Coincidence? No. Absolutely not.

December 25, 2013

Houston on the Porny Express

What a haul!

braving multiple swamp, bridge, causeways and police interactions our team of fresh legged bike fucking fanatics made it to Houston!

We thought we might get rained out of NOLA and considering recent history having a show so close to the levy during a torrential downpour might not have been the wisest idea. but fuck it, the dirty south knows how to get by. More than that they know where a hot time is!

So it was grand that we packed in the peeps and had a fine show in the Big Easy.



Now to share a little bike love around Texas!

Houston December 26th
Galveston December 29th
Austin January 17th
Dallas January 19th

maybe San Antonio? Get them feelers out there. Lets make some magic happen!

but first we make the baby jesus weep with our sexy bodies. come take part!

Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express in Houston
Thursday, Dec 26
Notsuoh
314 Main St
9pm
$5-10 suggested donation





muah!

December 21, 2013

New Orleans hops on The Porny Express





We are in New Orleans!

The vast quantity and quality of art here astounds! Moreover every person we talk is excited for:


THE PORNY EXPRESS!
Sunday, December 22nd
The Mudlark
1200 Port St, New Orleans, LA
8pm
$5-10 no one turned away

The day after solstice! Get yr awkward churbric baby fat moving and grooving!

Joshua has a pretty worried look on his face...





 
 Some of our own religious symbols...

December 13, 2013

Gainesville on The Porny Express

Perhaps you have heard us go on about the Florida's first ever submission to Bike Smut. Cypress Against Me is one of the most lighthearted and inspiring videos ever. It is an audience favorite but has also been called "gross" "disturbing" and even "biologically dangerous".


What will it be for you? A film exploring consensual bikesexual curiosity, or an experiment in disturbing behavior, exposing actor, crew and even Bike Smut itself to untold risk?!?

Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express is being shown in Gainesville for one night only!

Sunday, December 15th
Display Gallery
439 South Main Street
Fashion Show Registration 8:00pm
Fashion Show 8:30pm
Films 9:00pm 
Live performances by Yaz 

Adults only!



Special Information: The radical queers organizing this screening have devised a way to help you, the audience, take action to improve your own bikesexual caliber:

Put on some swag and slap a fresh coat of paint on the ol' velocipede cuz it's time for Gainesville's first ever RUNWAY RIDE!!! Hosted by Ellen Degenerate (bribes encouraged). Each fashionista/rider will do a runway walk/ride. Extra points for original designs, outfits that match the bike, bike stunts, and fetish wear. WINNER RECEIVES AN ACTUAL TROPHY, plus fame and glory. 
 We heatily encourage you to take a moment to consider how you might present yourself, and then... MAKE IT HAPPEN! We want you to take an active role in directing your bikesexual future.


Jacksonville on the Porny Express

POLO PORNO PIZZA PARTY WEEKEND!

No amount of prior restraint by some crappy franchise printer will stop us! We have a great punk bar, great punk porn to share, and great punks to witness it!






Friday Dec 13th
Shanty Town
22 W 6th St
11pm
donations accepted

December 10, 2013

Filmmaker Focus #7 The Bitchy Tutorial

Hi again faithful and curious bikesexuals! Today we have a special treat for you. We continue the Filmmaker Focus series with our highly produced film series from Milan, Italy: The Bitchy Tutorial Series!



These movies have been among the most loved and hated films we have ever shown. They offer a glimpse into another culture as well as what is possible when a group of people work together to produce something very polished. Regardless of what you thought about the films you should read what the creators of Italy's first ever submission to Bike Smut have to say about sex, cycling and making movies.




Do you have a back story? An introduction to who you are? 


Officine Sfera is a group of 4 friends who came together because of their passion for classic Italian racing bikes. We started to have a few too many bikes in Daniele's parents garage so we decided to find ourselves a space that could act both as workshop where we could restore our bikes and a studio where we could continue to carry out our other personal professions. Being graphic designers, illustrators, industrial designers, video producers, event organizers and avid internet fans we like to create projects together that are related to bicycles and showcase our various skills and passions. 

Do you like flimmaking?  Why? Have you made movies before? What were they like? why you make the movies you do? 

Gash Rouge both as a collective and as individuals have worked and continue to work in video. They produce everything from fashion promo videos to music videos to TV shows. Jessica from Officine Sfera did some video production for Vice Italy and Pietro (also OS) is just a wiz kid that can pretty much do everything and has done everything relating to technology and design. 



how you came to shoot for Bike Smut and what you hope people will gain from watching your movie? 

We got together as friends to make these tutorials. As a bike workshop we wanted to make something that we could use to gain some visibility and our friends/girlfriends are part of an all girl video collective called Gash Rouge, so we decided to team up. We attended The Bike Smut festival when you came to Milan and Jessica even attempted to be your translator, but was a little to embarrassed (her italian has greatly improved, when you come back we'll do it proper). We all loved the festival and after seeing the bike tutorials out there on the web we decided to merge the two ideas. One of the things that annoyed us about some of these videos is that the girls were simply sexualized and never actually doing anything constructive or real with the bikes they seemed to be so aroused by.  We also took into consideration the tutorials that you see on youtube, which are usually a dude in his low-light garage with the camera on the floor. Talking it over we came up with the idea of making these short tutorials that were dynamic, detailed and a little easier on the eye. 


Tell us about your movie. How did you decide to set up these sets? How did you decide which maintenance to demonstrate?

The girls from Gash Rouge came up with the concept for the set, they really liked the idea of filming everything 360 degrees, in order to create a tutorial that shows you each step from the best angle (that and some great ass shots). 
As for which type of maintenance we decided to demonstrate, we had to pick something that was universally useful, not too many steps because we wanted to create very short videos, and easy enough for us to teach the models the day of the shoot. 


What was it like filming in the studio? 

It was great fun, we only had access to the studio for a day so we had to be really organized and do everything in the shortest time possible. Except Studio was nice enough to lend us the space and some equipment as well so we were very fortunate, but boy did it get steamy in there (the lights were really hot). 


How did you find people to help you make this movie? 
  
Everyone involved in this movie was somebody's friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, sister or colleague. We were very lucky to have so many amazing and talented friends who shared our vision and were willing to pool their skills to make these tutorials. 


What are the origins of the clothes? 

Some of the clothing and accessories were lent to us by some of the sponsors you see featured on the video, some where the models clothes, others were the stylist's and the vintage speedo bathing suit in the first video was Jessica's from Officine Sfera. 


What were the biggest challenges? What would you have done differently?

The biggest challenges were organizing the post-production between the editors, continuity editors, typographers (our friends from &type), and motion graphics designer. We are all perfectionists and we all have demanding day jobs so it was a lot of back and forth and late nights. 

As for what we would have done differently, there are obviously a few mistakes we made here and there that we would like to change but overall we are pleased with the result considering the time we had to film, our budget, and the fact that it was the first time all of us worked together on such a large scale. 


What would you say to people who do not think this qualifies as porn? 

We don't really consider this porn either, at least not the kind of porn we would watch, um, recreationally. We live in Italy, this is what advertising for a bottle of water looks like on television. Wouldn't you classify this more as an erotic tutorial than porn? 


What would you tell people who feel insecure about seeing these models work on bikes?

We are sorry they feel insecure, there is nothing in our videos that you can't see on television or in music videos. When we came up for the concept of these video tutorials we wanted to create a video that empowered women and put them in a position of control when it came to bike maintenance. We specifically didn't want to create a video where the models were simply rubbing their cooches all over the bike, that they were actually doing something that someone might learn from. The models definitely didn't feel insecure, there were more than 12 women who worked on this video and only 5 men, we all had fun making them and it gave everyone the opportunity to add a video to their portfolio. What can we say, we all like to look at the ladies, and we like to look at smart, creative, intelligent ladies who know how to do bike maintenance and are proud of their bodies. We don't see any shame in that.



Would you like to shoot for Bike Smut again? What would you tell other potential filmmakers?

Yes, of course. We already have some ideas on the back burner and we keep coming up with more.