Cyberspunk!

Bike Smut is proud to be part of CYBERSPUNK! 

A one-night-only Book Club Burlesque party inspired by William Gibson’s 1984 Science Fiction classic, Neuromancer. 

Cyberspunk is a participatory and literacy event. The audience is encouraged to read the book and dress to impress in their sexiest, most creative Neuromancer inspired style. The neon-noir novel is wrought with themes of virtual survival, man vs. machine, humanism sacrificed in the face of advancing technology, cyborg body manipulation and more. So naturally they got a special Bike Smut booth for exceptional futuristic viewing.

Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave, Tucson 
Doors at 8, party till late
$8-$20 cover, 21+ presale TICKETS@ www.artmatter.org

Call us Johnny Pneumatic cause we are pumping the morning-moaning hours away to deliver a tight package to Tucson, Saturday night!

Boning Your Eros Zonna

Winter has come to North America; it's time to go down... south!

For residents of Arizona, this weekend is a double fisting of joyous bikesexual activity!

Friday Nov 21
Space 55
636 E Pierce St
Doors at 7:00 pm, show at 7:40. 
$7 FB event

Saturday Nov 22

The Screening Room

127 E Congress St

Doors at 9:00 pm, show at 9:30
$6  FB Event

tickets for the Tucson show available now:
http://ticketing.us.veezi.com/purchase/417?siteToken=GAu7uImSdEC5HXYFrmnrmg%3D%3D

Adults only, please!

Austin! Houston! San Antonio! You are next!

The Southwest Roundup

Yes, we have no blog posts. This communication is as much a form of living history as it is promotional tool so we only feel slightly annoyed withoutselves that we have had multiple shows that didnt get their full due on this blog.

But in memorial

Jan 5 - Amazing show in Austin. Thanks to the folks at Bed Post Confessions and Queer Ride
Jan 8 - Nearly rained out show at Boneshakers in San Antonio. Them bikers are melty.
Jan 11 - A real show in Tucson at The Screening Room w/ Whiskey Breath Burlesque

and tonight
Jan 12 - we do another show in Phoenix at The Trunk Space w/ the Rusty Spoke collective!

All this because our van mostly died 4 times! Fuck cars, we dont need no stinking exaust!

Car free? Care free!

Southwest commentary

Via a Bike Smut aficionado in Phoenix

 

There are themes each year, but the theme never quite actually winds up being what it's supposed to be. It was supposed to be _The Orgasm Trail_, but the recurring themes in the shorts were fuck machines and forest nymphs. Lesbian hookup shot stop motion made another appearance this year with more bike content in it, but it's hard to top the first take where this was done entirely with Poloroids. The whole affair is completely DIY. Films come from local bicycle communities. Some times they're clever. Often they have elements of parody. Often they're just artsy. If you're turning your nose up because you're afraid you might catch teh gay or the actors might not have the correct tit:ass:waist ratio, well, you're doing it wrong. If it were commercial, safe, and predictable, it wouldn't be interesting.
Anyway, even if you didn't make it to the show doesn't mean you can't make a film. Films are shown in a traveling exhibition for a year and then destroyed, so you can still run for president. They don't have to be and often aren't explicit. I'll loan you my, eh, vintage, Fisher Price PixelVision 2000 camera, if you like. Eg: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyLtVLR5Rrk.
In the words of John Maynard Keynes, we devote our intelligences to anticipating what average opinion expects the average opinion to be. Fuck that. Some dude named Maynard has more balls than you. Make a film.

we couldn't say it better. and while I am pretty sure no Bike Smut movies have been made out of just Polaroids, many have used film and still cameras in leu of the fast and easy digital camcorders.

regardless of how you choose to capture your inspiring images of sexy transportational freedom make sure you share it with us so we can share it with the world!

photo credit to Tucson Velo
 and the Atlantic

Remembering Phoenix

 

Strange but interesting fact. We have never had two shows in the same venue anywhere south or east of Boulder, Colorado. EXCEPT at the Trunk Space, which despite all odds has been able to provide an excellent venue for obscure/strange/otherwise malnourished touring acts for a decade!

 

The crowd was a little reserved at first, but soon found themselves moving and dancing together, increasing their bikesexual quotient.

 

Afterwards the audience chose to mill around and see the art we have to offer. Many thanked us for our dogmatic stance on how we refuse to make DVDs, even for media, meaning that the ONLY place to watch Bike Smut is when it happens in front of a crowd, live!

Our Bike Smut merchandise is as colorful as the people who choose to be adorned in our undies

Must thanks to our friends at  Phoenix New Times who came out to help document the joy we call The Orgasm Trail. Hope to see you again next year!

Rising like a Phoenix

Now we know the rest of the battle of Arizona!

Phoenix the land of eternal sprawl named after a mythical beast with a pretty impressive recovery rate (although we would like to ask her girlfriend about it sometime)

Bike Smut has never been to the same place twice in Tucson but we are returning to the only place we have ever shared our porn in PHX

The Trunkspace
1506 NW Grand Ave
8pm $7 no one turned away for lack of funds

group ride details soon!

"Raising" Arizona

Three hot shows complete with sweet dance parties, mutant bike rides, and more all this week in Arizona!

Wednesday, March 3rd
Tempe
Harkins Valley Art 509 South Mill Avenue APPARENTLY THEY ARE A "FAMILY ESTABLISHMENT"

Show has moved to
TRUNK SPACE
1506 NW Grand Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85007
Doors @ 7pm, $7, 18+
underground afterparty

Thursday, March 4th
Tucson
The Boxing Gym
1080 N Contzen in Barrio Anita
8pm, $5, adults only
Bike Ride to Leave Old Main @ UofA at 7pm


Saturday, March 6th
Bisbee
Spooky Tooth's Electric Bike Rental,on the big holodisplay
63 Brewery Gulch,
7pm $5 donation adults only
Old Bisbee freak bike race - 4pm

Tuck (it in,) Son

A good friend told me in order to spell Tucson correctly you should say Tuck Son, making me think of the times when our collective genitalia was wagging around without worry.

a memories... And so we have FINALLY got a show in TUCKSON!


Thursday March 4th

The Boxing Gym

1080 N Contzen in Barrio Anita

8pm, $5, adults only

Bike Ride to Leave Old Main @ UofA at 7p



image stolen without permission from alexbcthompson

Ya hoy TJ!

BAM BAM BAM BAM

Santa Barbara, Claremont, LA, Long Beach.... Four shows in four cities in four days and no time to recover cause its just starting.

Will San Diego or Tijuana step to the pron?
or will we have to flee the persecution of those who can't handle naked bodies?

Time is short but we are hopeful (dubious but hopeful). Moreover we need tacos with bottomless guacamole! Margaritas! Novelty coconut bras!

Regardless we will soon be turning East to head to Tempe, Tucson and Bizbee!

getting waved down in flagstaff

In 12 hours of riding around Flagstaff this pornographer was stopped by the police 3 times. They were usually pretty polite and respectful and thankfully none of the interactions resulted in any tickets being given. This could be due to the excellent police handling we have received over the years.

The 3rd and final confrontation began at the intersection of the rail road tracks and San Francisco St. after 3am. The train had just passed and the light was about to change. This biker was rolling though a yellow that changed to red while in the large empty street. This conversation took place in the middle of historic route 66.

[BLEET BLEET] (can someone else suggest a better onomatopoeic word for a police horn?)

• Bicycle Pornographer: Yes? Hello?
• Bored Police: You need to follow the law.
• BP: The #1 law is care of yourself. Look around, there is no cross traffic. You are the only car on the street. You are the only source of danger.
• BP: I will write you a ticket if you want.
• BP: No sir, thank you.

And while that interaction was actually not as snarky as is sounds (quite the opposite it was entirely heartfelt), our friends and co-pornographers from Tempe who drove 2 hours North to see the show were stopped twice while leaving town after the show. Thankfully they had a designated driver but apparently the police they dealt with were not as respectful:

... that didn't stop the cop from giving Mark (the only person in the car that hadn't even had a beer that night) a 30 minute sobriety test. That guy was a dick. - Lindsey B.

Even our host at the Foto Barn said that he was recently arrested and spent the night in jail (and nearly missed going to Burning Man) for jaywalking. He was not friendly to the police he was in fact quite irate. And justifiably so. When downtown business owners are not able to cross the street because a police officer decided that you "did it in an unsafe manner and while we are talking let me run your identification" that borders on some 4th amendment stuff, never mind the question of whose interests are you protecting?

This all wouldn't make us feel so bothered except that it does reek of classism. On one hand if there are going to be armed people who can detain and/or kill citizens at their discretion we want them trained and compensated well enough that they are not shaking anyone down for protection money. On the other hand no one on the bike porn tour has health insurance. Meanwhile, here is a list of the benefits of being a Flagstaff officer:

Medical, dental, vision, life insurance	Deferred compensation
11 days vacation	Flexible Spending Accounts
11 paid holidays	Annual wellness assessment
12 days sick leave	Repetitive Motion Therapy
Public Safety Retirement	Credit Union membership
Bereavement leave	Direct deposit
Jury duty leave	Cell phone discounts
Military leave	Promotional Opportunities
Family & Medical Leave	Continuing Education
Employee Assistance Program	In-house training opportunities

Yes, it is true we ARE jealous of their "benefits package" which includes repetitive motion therapy, anal wellness, and even house training! (For those who qualify)

That said, we are totally grateful that we were able to leave town giving them only time. Lots and lots of our time. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

josh guest post #1

This is the 1st post by fellow bike porn tourista joshua while on tour...

------------------------------------------------

Howdy fellow bikesexuals,

First off, I would love to say that this tour has been the shit. Thanks to all the awesome people who have hosted us and helped contribute to make this tour a success and to the people who have kept both our cycles and us, the bike pornographers, well lubricated. If you ever find yourself in ABQ, New Mexico, and your bicycle needs a tune-up or something, go see the guys at the Bike Coop or Fixed and Free. The guys from these respective shops are lovely people who love bicycles (who knew?). They helped us out and we appreciate it.

We're just now finishing up our show in Flagstaff, and it was a huge success. Now we set our sights on Vegas! Come hang out, see some lovely adult themed bicycle films, and go for a bike ride or two.

Now it's time for me to find some cigarettes to bum, and something with alcohol in it....

Peace.

Raising the Flagstaff

Coming out of the steamy bowl that is ABQ following Pornotopia, our team has reached the southeastern edge of the Chain Whip Tour universe. From now on it is nothing but traveling north by northwest.

1st stop on our voyage home is the rather conservative town of Flagstaff, AZ. Where no amount of e-mail harassment produced more than a shriek and/or an attempt at a pleasant "no we really don't want you or anyone else to fuck our bikes, thank you" deferral letter. Until we met the folks at the PhotoBarn. They have been great pimpin' the goods on our behalf and making us feel welcome before we even got to the show!

So much so that they are requesting a 2nd show this Wednesday night, which is pretty encouraging of a very porn-ready community considering this show was only set up a week ago.

• Wednesday, November 11th (double hockey stick day)



• PHOTOBARN
  Eastside of Heritage Square Aspen and San Francisco Street
  Door at 7pm, Show at 7:30pm (bonus show at 9:30? )



• $5 Suggested Donation



• After Hours at MIA'S

photo credit to http://www.justlaura.com/?cat=1

Rising like Phoenix in the Morning

Avast! Our friends in Phoenix have made a rad flyer!

if you are in Tempe (a tightly defined city surrounded by the endless sprawl of Phoenix) you should investigate the Bike Saviours. Moreover there are more than a few fun things planned for this weekend,

starting with a challenge!


bike polo in Phoenix at 7:30pm on Wednesdays at the Desert Storm park at 16th St. and Colter

Tucson has porn

"Tuc Son" That's one way to remember how to spell Tucson.

Thursday, November 6th we are at the Dry River Collective showing Bikexploitation. Then Friday, November 7th we show The Pornography of the Bicycle. Back to back screenings are pretty rare for us, and we are doing it to help celebrate Dry River's 3rd Anniversary of not being shut down by the man.

• 6pm a costumed bike ride leaving from Dry River
• 7pm Whiskey Breath Burlesque grinds, sings and cavorts under influences
• 7:30 The Pornography of the Bicycle
• 9:15 A grip of bands Logan Greene, XwalrusX, Feel Good Revolution, Redbeard, Cizana
• 11:30 V for Vendetta
• If you are too pooped to pop you are encouraged to sleepover!

I hear rumor of a game of capture the gland may break out on Saturday, and closing this weekend is the All Soul's Procession on Sunday.

Quite a weekend, come on down

740 N. Main St. @ University Blvd.
http://dryriver.org

------------
we didn't find the polo game last night, but made contact with them today and are hopeful for some polo action soon, perhaps Monday!

A bike polo match!

tommorw we can match wits with the tucson polo team

http://www.myspace.com/tucsonbikepolo

Tucson Bike Polo is played every Thursday on the UofA mall (East grass area) @6or7pm until we Mob out! (since2003)

lets see what they got!

Filling the Whole Bisbee

Some exciting things about Bisbee, AZ:

• St. Elmo, the bar we drank and watched the 2008 election results was also the last meeting location of the Monkey Wrench Gang
• The Bisbee Bicycle Brothel specializes in hand build lugged steel frames made in England in the mid 1900s
• Some brave bikers went down into one of the world's largest open copper mines late last night.
  

Just sayin...

a sweet dance party can break out at any moment