Our friends at Crank My Chain have been making great bicycle themed movies for most of the past decade. While many of the rest of us are content to angle for simply better marking of streets and infrastructure, or just to get drunk for free, they have worked to help keep the riot in patriot.
This is a poem found on the Occupy Wall Street Bicycle Coalition site
set to the World Naked Bike Ride in Portland, Oregon. The poem is
about the Naked Bike Ride and life and liberation.
How excited are we!?! On top of having our final screening of The Orgasm Trail tonight in Vancouver, BC tonight we have just received a series of publishable still images from our "south of London" submission, "Saddle Sore".
That means we are able to provide you, the public, unprecedented access to images from Bike Smut 6: Turning TriXXX which premiere's next Friday in Portland!
We will start you off slow, but if you start to feel your cheeks reddening too fast please ask us to slow down. Communication is key.
After traveling 10s of thousands of miles to bring you the most ethical porn in the world our plucky team of bicycle pornographers have concluded that this will be the final stop on
THE ORGASM TRAIL
Bike Smut: the Orgasm Trail will be
showing at the
Russian Hall (600 Campbell @ E. Georgia) this
Friday the
22nd, 7:45pm, $9 for all the
DIY bicycle p0rn you could beg for
All things must come to an end, (except circles? ... until you break a spoke!) and we couldn't ask for a better place than the home of bikesexuality. For before there was the World's Largest Naked Bike Ride, there was the Wholesome Undie Ride. Before there was Bike Smut there was BikeSexual.org
So while Portland is the current reigning champion of all bike culture, it owes a lot of it's current rad-ness to the folks up north who have been throwing down since the beginning.
In their honor, we are leaving our glorious home to re-stoke the flames of bike passion! We'll be joining forces with Velopalooza, (Pedalpalooza in Vancouver) and Bike!Bike! (a gathering of bike nonprofits and collectives)!
Our itinerary starts on Friday, June 22 at 10:30am PST with us on Pedal Revolutionary talk show. Here is a blurb they put out:
We are going to perform another radio
striptease, with racy music to get you in the mood for bike-loving!
Time for an hour and a half of the raw Reverend Phil; committed,
unadulterated, and ever-so-obliging! Tune in to hear the stirring sounds
of whispered expletives, torn-off rain ponchos and peeled-down bike
shorts!
You'll also have the chance to win tickets to this Friday's Bike Smut: the Orgasm Trail by answering challenging skill-testing questions such as: "What are you wearing?" Note: you need to be a current member of Coop Radio to win, but it's easy to join. If you make a pledge using this form
and send it back to me you're eligible. Pay-what-you-want for this --
your donation will support bike radio and cooperatively-owned community
radio into the future. Anyone pledging $60 or more will get a CD of
amazing bicycle music!!! (Or a download if you want to save plastic.)
Then join the Bike Bike-ers as we dissect and analyze the connection between bikes and sexuality with our "Dismantling Bike Porn Collage Making Workshop" Friday at Purple Thistle @ 4:30
Feel free to BYO scissors, glue, and stacks of porn or bike mags for cutting. Or just use ours!
Then the big show just up the street from the workshop to the Russian Hall (doors at 7:45) for the FINAL SCREENING OF THE ORGASM TRAIL.
There will be other fine events happening all weekend and summer long, check out the Velopalooza calendar or just go out on your bike and see what joy you can discover!
Tre excitement! International radio Coast to Coast! You can hear the talking of the DJ and even if you can't speak French you probably can understand what she says!
We are totally on the Canadian Radio! Twice! in 3 days!
Join Bike Smut on "Pedal Revolution"! This is an extra special (not last Friday of the month) Show
This Friday, June 22nd at 1030am
Listen at 102.7fm, or live streaming at coopradio.org
http://www.pedalrevolutionary.org/
We have been told there will be stripping, LIVE! on the air! Possibly alcopop drinking. Which are almost totally illegal in Canada! We might also do some google hangout or something, so keep your peepers peeled!
Then this Sunday at 5:30 AM PST (OMGWHAT!!!???!!!)
Join us as we take an auditory ride on "Bike Lane" on CKUT 90.3FM in Montreal, Canada. We doubt there will be live stripping at 5:30 am, but maybe some folks in France will join us for some afternoon delight!
ya never know what them french canadians will get up to...
So we will be audible on either end of the Canada, and almost on either end of the radio spectrum, which is pretty cool.
Many of you have seen her, either on stage dancing to Eartha Kit (the beloved soulful voice that describes what she might do to you, underneath the bridges of Paris) or deftly breezing around traffic on her fixed gear, British-made 'Falcon'. But even if your only introduction to Poppy Cox was in her recent essay on slut-shaming, (in reference to when a commenter on this blog referred to her as a "spokeslut") you are aware of her impact on Bike Smut.
Beyond crafting new bikesexual graphic images and press packs (because the media can't have a DVD we might as well try to let them know what is in store for people) she has also been able to pick up a number of interviews. Just last week Elle of Tits and Sass sat down with Poppy to investigate some of the more feminine juices that have been flowing around these parts.
Between April and November, and we visited 21 countries and 63 cities,
showing our films. They loved us in Italy, people went nuts, and we were
in television news. We really want to inspire people to actively pursue
feeling good, and we think riding bikes and having sex are great ways
to do that.
That and more of our Poppy Cox is avilable on line and possibly riding a strip club pole or bicycle near you!
Here are a few more pics of Eartha Kitt. She was quite an inspiration!
• Fanny packs are modesty flaps; says Bike Smut film festival
organizer Reverend Phil Sano. Point taken. Also useful for staying
discreet: a mask.
• Wear some damn clothes. Namely, shoes and a helmet. Cheek-to-seat action is not so bad, but tender-foot-to-pedal is no fun.
Its a bare as you dare ride, so you can wear clothes or tongs or nothing at all! Everyone rolling under their own power is welcome to join! So much fun! Join in the action no matter where you are!
Bike Smut is hosting a DIY paint station! Be there when the gates open at 9 and goes as long as the paint lasts.
This collection of great photos courtesy of a website that tragically branded them, even tho they just stole them from the original artists. oh well. it does include an interesting camera logo reminding tus that we are always under surveillance, even when not riding your bike naked.
This event is made possible in Portland by Shift's free fun event: Pedalpalooza, Umbrella and a number of loving individuals who want you to experiece more joy and liberty in your lives.
HA! Between receiving your exciting new expressions of bike romance, planning the brutal public flogging of the worst transportation planners in Cascadia and helping to organize the estimated TEN THOUSAND naked bodies that will fill the streets of Portland in the worlds largest naked bike ride we have not really taken account of all the action we have had going on over here.
Paul Hanna/Reuters
We got you SPRUNG!
Well its been nice sharing with you many of our favorite non-bike specific erotic/porn movies. Many expressed regret not being able to attend all of the shows, and that is reasonable. Each program was stunningly different and with no content repeating...
We would like to offer our thanks to our many supporters including...
our inspired filmmakers: Bruce LaBruce's infamous story of leftist queer sex revolution "Raspberry Reich" Tinto Brass's tale of a young, horny, Italian girl demanding sex... NOW! "Monella" Courtney Trouble's oversexed FTM's hunt for his stolen bike "Billy Castro Does the Mission" Jenifer Lyon Bell's patient expression of love in a world gone soundbyte "Skin. Like. Sun." Rinse Dream's surreal hardcore post apocalypse art house midnight movie, "Cafe Flesh"
our glorious performers: Hammercise who created all new bikesexual dance moves for our performance Miss Steak who's erotic Jesus Christ Superstar puppetry shocked and stunned Fatha Green who's magnanimous use of the mic humbled and entertained
and also the folks at the Clinton St Theater for their commitment to creating more interesting, local content not to mention and all the people around town who thought our image of a pair of birds humping on bicycle handlebars was not at all offensive (especially because we have not been able to put up ANY of our TURNING TRIXXX posters anywhere!)
So, there you have it. Five successful screenings on the themes that matter to people who like to get around and not let anyone else tell them how or who to ride. It seems the answer to life might be a paraphrased quote of the Portlandia:"Put a fucking bird on it!"
Our desk is cluttered with sometimes insightful, hilarious and all too frequently, time consuming media. What is a bicycle pornographer about to end the Call For Submissions to do?
RING EM UP!
Sometimes folks say: "I get the porn, but why bikes? Why not chairs, or vibrators?"
To which I reply: "A bike is a chair AND a vibrator"
What they really wanna know is, why makes bike culture better than anything else you could do with your time. That question is a little more challenging. There is a lot of amazing things going on out there but we frequently are very impressed with the resourcefulness of Bike Punks.
We don't mind fancy-pants bike events (although paying to ride seems as intuitive as driving to the corner store... have you tried the alternative? NOT PAYING?) but having a group struggle a little for their art/play makes us all enjoy it a little more than just handing over $35 and getting a t-shirt full of sponsors at the end.*
Take for example our Bike Smut hosts in Graz, Austria. They didn't have money for an indoor race track, so they built one... actually they built several, in their own homes.
photo by "RADhofer"
The story is a little more complicated than that, but everyone enjoyed the process and time trial indoor racing so much that they have been doing it pretty regularly now for over a year. Here are some SFW pics of the riders.
We at Bike Smut are hardly exclusionary, but we are getting more selective in our age. Still if someone is not willing to try another culture's art because 'what is the point of exploration?' you can just about assume that this person will have an answer for everything and they all result in this person being right without failure. That's nice for the Fox News mindset, but being able to be challenged and come away from something with a new angle that's why we learn and do new things!
Speaking of learning new things this graphic website is fill of interesting, if not very useful info on sex. Sometimes their facts are humorous, sometimes scandalous, (it is the internet, after all) but generally they are shoulder shruggingly unimportant. More interesting then their fact that Miami has the longest sex of any US city and that Denver Phoenix or Chicago have the shortest, is that the entire difference is only 9 min. WHOA, you mean people have sex for more than 9 min!?! AMAZING
This June is a little more sane for us, we only have THE FINAL FINAL SCREENING OF THE ORGASM TRAIL ... EVER
Vancouver Friday June 22nd, which would be monumental in its own right but just a week later is
THE WORLD PREMIERE OF BIKE SMUT 6: TURNING TRIXXX
at the Clinton St Theater in Portland, Oregon
Go ahead, freak out a little, just save some for us.
*its statements like this that will keep us legit (i.e. poor)
