Showing posts with label portland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label portland. Show all posts

June 13, 2026

BIKE SMUT REMIX

IT IS HAPPENING!

It has been 10 years since we have had a Bike Smut show in Portland

Half a generation has been lost in the woods, never having experienced the joy of screaming, "Fuck bikes!" with ironic glee.

Its time to reclaim some lost potential

BIKE SMUT REMIX
Thursday, July 23rd, 2026
Clinton St. Theater

With live performance by Bicycle Noise Creation Machine and the premiere of PANTS! The musical

June 27, 2018

WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE REPORT


the fabulous poster art from PDXWNBR.ORG


Following the rides in Los Angeles and Portland its worth getting some first hand accounts from the people who actually showed up and put some skin in the game.

photo by larameeee

Portland's ride gathered in Cathedral Park under the St. John's Bridge in North Portland at 8pm and depared at 9. Of course when you have more then ten thousand people departing it takes a while to disperse. Thankfully there was music by the High Step Society and the sidewalks were lined with countless enthusiastic supporters and a few people that were worried their clothes might not make it to the afterlife.
even naked bikers have their haters
The ride winded its way to Woodlawn park, about 7 miles away a pretty short ride, historically speaking. Of course most were not done partying and there were several options to choose from including following the Tiki Bike to a undisclosed beach party along the Columbia River.


There are some insightful comments on Bike Portland (and some obnoxious ones)
and some photos from

Apparently both I-5 traffic and ICE were invited to eat naked biker ass.

Now we move our attentions down the west coast a thousand miles to Los Angeles, where about 400 people joined in two daytime, naked celebratory protests of a different, uh flavor.
-----
We met in an industrial corridor of downtown LA at 9am, just across the train tracks from the skyline. A friend visiting from Phoenix joined me. We were some of the first to arrive, and when we did, at first it definitely had a very SoCal ex-hippy naturist vibe to it.
As it began to fill in, the group became much more diverse in age, race, and gender expression. Everyone was very welcoming and friendly, and we all took pictures with each other. It felt very relaxed and supportive. There were a couple taco trucks, body paint lead by the teenage daughter of one of the organizers, and overall had a very kid-friendly vibe. Very diverse in terms of age range.
At 10:30 we began the first leg of the ride.
LA WNBR is technically split into two shorter rides. The first leg it the political part and goes through the downtown municipal buildings boldly stating our messages: freedom from fuel and legal toplessness for everyone. We rode past the highway then headed back to the starting point.
Then we geared up for the second leg of the trip, where we were joined by many more riders totaling about 350 at its peak. The organizers provided water for the riders, and people were able to buy food at the trucks. There were also a few different groups tabling: naturalists, LA history buffs, and WNBR organizers mainly.
We left for the second leg of the ride, and rode through downtown, through Chinatown, and down the LA River Path. It was beautiful. People came out of shops and restaurants and cheered us on, smiling and saying they'd join us next year.
It was an extremely welcoming ride, I think having it during the day gives it a very different feel.
We stopped at a restaurant that was located just off the River Path, the restaurant let us use the bathrooms and order food and drinks and we were very well received by staff and patrons.
Then we headed back through the neighborhoods, and eventually wound around to the starting point again. People hung out and talked and networked when we got back, then it eventually dispersed at about 5:30pm.
It was very fun to experience WNBR in a new city for my 10th year doing it. I plan on getting involved with the organizers next year. It is a smaller ride, but it is mighty, and I think it is doing some really wonderful things.

(Pic below: me and part of the LA skyline.)




This weekend Vancouver and Victoria, BC host their WNBRs!
Find them! Support them! Join them! As bare as you dare!!

April 12, 2016

The Passing of our Naked Defender



Regular readers will note that this blog refers to itself in the plural, "we" rather than "I". This is because Bike Smut has been propelled by the faceless mass of legs and genitals that rarely get the limelight. By using plural pronouns we have tried to keep that awareness that Bike Smut is more than one person's ideas. Nevemind that of the (oooh!) 1009 posts that have been made over the past decade all but about 9 of them were written by one person. That one person is Reverend Phil, the founder and curator of Bike Smut. For the remainder of this post I am stepping out of my normal role into something more personal, and as such, will use the singular.

While contemplating the future of Bike Smut's final tour. I learned some sad news regarding the passing of a good friend.


In 2006 I was arrested after being hit by a drunk driver during Portland's World Naked Bike Ride. The following story of my arrest and subsequent triumph in the legal system is due to the creative and diligent effort of my recently deceased lawyer, Stu Sugarman.




During most naked bike rides there comes a point where everyone looks around and wonders, “Will it actually happen?” No one wants to be the first person to get naked but you don’t really want to be the last either. In that moment it helps to have someone boldly announce “Now is the time! Take your clothes off and ride your bikes!” I was loud and I’ve never much cared for society’s rules regarding the obscenity of the naked body.  Clothes can be a great thing and provide many functions. Fashion, comfort, warmth, and protection all have their place. But the function of supporting patriarchal norms that make feeling shame about not living up to the impossible standards we see in the mass media? No, that is not a function I care for. So with my loud voice and marginal appreciation of pants I was invited to be the ride leader.

It was a beautiful night. Full of joyous screams of laughter and delight. The simple act of being naked returns us to a sort of child-like innocence as our assumed roles in adult life are shed as quickly as skivvies. When a community embraces these ideals we can see the result reflected in those around us as we are left with only our skin, bare for all without shame. As hundreds of cyclists rode together the city streets seemed to come alive. The sidewalks teemed with cheering onlookers overcome with the irreverence of naked bodies taking back the streets. The ride toured around downtown and while heading south on 3rd we turned right onto Burnside. Its a busy street and a handful of cars were already lining up. For the most part its better to keep cars with cars and bikes with bikes; you can imagine the danger of having distracted drivers among naked bikers.

I rode up to cork the intersection and expressed my condolences to the delayed drivers whom were all completely satisfied to sit and watch the parade. All but one driver, Amanda Truscot who through the haze of various intoxicants proceed to honk her horn, flash her lights, rev her engine, lurch her SUV then proceeded to knock me down pinning my bike under her car. It was a bad enough scene but with the addition of off-duty Portland Police Officer,  Chad Stensgaard as the passenger it became absurd. I was soon cuffed and stuffed and had a variety of misdemeanors filed against me all for keeping vulnerable road users safe!

I was pretty upset, but thankfully my friend Catherine told me she knew a good lawyer who did some probono work for many activists. Many of his cases were for defending animal rights and other more nature-oriented environmental actions; but I had got a good story so maybe he would be willing to help me out. I didn’t expect I would gain a good friend.

Initially things were touch and go between us. I had been warned that like many of the people he defended, Stu Sugarman could be difficult. At one point, and with great bluster, he told me I was wrong about a detail of our case. I proved his mistake which he acknowledged and we refocused on our case. It was a small thing but in that moment we both accepted how easy it is to be wrong and that both of us were more concerned with bigger issues.

The court case rolled on for a year with several delays. Finally we had become so confident that we were going to make the DA look like an idiot we had a model dress up like Lady Justice astride a bicycle complete with white robes, scales and a U-Lock instead of a sword. The image looked great and we printed up a thousand “Naked Justice” posters. The day before our trial Stu went to the DA and presented him with one saying that he expected tomorrow to be “a lot of fun.”
“Are there are lot of these?” the DA asked woefully.
Stu gleefully replied, “Oh yeah, they are all over town! See ya tomorrow!”


The DA dismissed all charges shortly afterward. I was relieved that it was over but sad to not have the case go to trial. Stu and I became good friends and our mutual love of nature encouraged us to explore Oregon’s fabulous environment including surfing the Oregon Coast.



The next year the Portland World Naked Bike Ride doubled in size. The year after it doubled and the following year it doubled. It carried on doubling each year until our recent ride of approximately 12 thousand naked bikers.  Stu had become a mainstay of our naked legal observers support team. He and other lawyers were eager to keep a keen watch out so that no other cyclists would fall the same fate as me. Stu saw it as our civic duty to protest our nation’s dependence on fossil fuels, the dominance of cars in our cities, and the shame associated with our bodies. He had been an avid cyclists in his younger days, touring across the Southeast region of the United States and he was a consummate defender of nature.






Thank you, Stu, for lending your voice to protect our freedom to assemble. Tho it should not have to be posthumously you are hereto be remembered as one of Bike Smut's most vaulted supporters, as a Hero de Bike Smut.


photo credit to Jonathan Maus of BikePortland.org

June 25, 2015

Science Friction - WORLD PREMIERE

This is it! For more than a year we have plotted and schemed to get some amazing new films from all over the world and now its happening!

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction
Friday, June 26
Clinton St Theater - 26th and SE Clinton
With live performances
9pm,  $7 - advance tickets available now!


ITS HOT! Get cool with the AC! Climate Control... FROM THE FUTURE!

September 9, 2014

Free Tickets to Come Again World Premiere!

Thats right FREE TICKETS for Friday's World Premiere of Bike Smut 8: Come Again

Like adding chocolate to peanut butter, the combination of bikes and sex has delighted people all over! But it only happens every so often. Portland is lucky that it gets at least one chance every year.

Bike Smut 8: Come Again
Friday, September 12th
ONE NIGHT ONLY!



You want free tickets? All you gotta do is leave a comment here on PDX Pipeline.

This is a $14 value, all yours just for clicking writing something.

We are also giving away two tickets to:
Aftermass: Bicycling in a Post-Critical Mass Portland!
Also worth $14

Leave a comment stating why you should get free tickets to which show. Best comments win.

Deadline for comments is Wednesday September 10th

Make your voice heard. Watch amazing films and performances for free. Have some fucking bike party!

Dont wanna use your outdoor voice to get free tickets? You can still buy tickets online!

Make it a Double Whammy! Pay just $3 more and you get to see both Aftermass and Bike Smut!



More information on the event and other activities happening before and after is all on the main event page.

August 21, 2014

The world premiere of BIKE SMUT 8: COME AGAIN


We are bringing the greatest bikesexual show on earth 
back to the people who spawned it!

the world premiere of 

 BIKE SMUT 8: COME AGAIN


male sexuality wrapped in the context of a protective condoments

In the past year we showed consensual non-consent and forced haircuts from Chicago, golden showers and swampy dendrophilia from Gainesville, greasy cock and ball torture from Berlin, spaghetti-western anarchists from Montreal, gender queer Mario Brothers from Geneva, hardfem bicycle-mounted cavalry-archers hunting to feed their sexual appetites in Pheonix, and a hardcore ginger-on-ginger bisexual, bikesexual educational film.

WHEW! Its been a good year!

Summer is almost over, get your bikesexual fantasies fulfilled while its still hot!

  • Bike Smut 8: Come Again
  • Friday, September 12, 2014
  • Clinton Street Theater - 2522 SE Clinton, Portland, Oregon, USA
  • 9pm
  • $7
  • Get Tickets online! Then invite others with the offiicial FB event!

Make it a double whammy! For only three dollars more ($10 in total) you are encouraged to come early and watch an encore screening of Aftermass, a documentary about how we use our public space and how the bicycle can help make it more human friendly.


Srsly! You should get your tickets to this excellent event online!


Join us afterward for the closet thing to Critical Mass in Portland, the Midnight Mystery Ride
 http://midnightmysteryride.wordpress.com/
  • Critical Mass: a leaderless ride that starts downtown at 5pm on the last Friday of the month
  • MMR: follow a leader to a mysterious location from a bar at 11pm on the second Friday of the month.

There is no requirement that you ride a bike to the show but the odds of you meeting and going home with a sexy biker greatly improve if you do!


June 5, 2013

Help the world's largest herd of bike dicks n cunts

Soon the joy of riding naked will be yours! In cities all over the world bodies are demanding being seen as beautiful, a rejection of isolating car culture AND those that seek to profit from feeding insecurities.

If you happen to live in Portland we need your help to make our ride more fabulous. We expect there to be more than 5 thousand people riding as bare as they dare. This is the biggest naked bike ride in the entire universe (at least in our solar system) and it is happening this Saturday night!


The night will be warm (high 70s that day) and magical.
We expect a huge turnout and we REALLY need more volunteer help!
We need people to wander though the crowd asking for donations. We need volunteers to help  B-Line check bags and help keep an eye on trash before the ride leaves. We need ride along mechanics.
Here is a complete list of the help we need: Volunteers needed
Click the "Sign up to Volunteer" button and follow your passion.
We meet at the Portland Art Museum at SW Madison and Park. Volunteers need to check in no later than 9:30 at our table.
Admission to the Cyclepedia exhibit is $1.00 per article of clothing from 8:00 pm to 10:00 that night.

May 30, 2013

Porny Express World Premiere

Its nearly arrived!

After a solid year of Turning Trixxx around North America and beyond, promoting bikesexuality from Mazunte to Montreal we are finally making our pilgrimage home to share the bounty.

Bike Smut will be Turning Trixxx no more, forever. But out of the ashes rises a John Holmes-like phoenix set to scatter the sadness from the bike porn-starved lands with our new program of human-powered erotica!

 



It is time to hop on
The Porny Express
June 12
Clinton St Theater
2522 SE Clinton
8:30 pm
$7, 18+ 


And what a program we have! The filmmakers live in from Quebec, Chicago, Gainesville, Oakland, Los Angeles, Berkeley, Vancouver, Milan, Geneva, and Berlin!










Many of the films have incredible production values, but many are also slapdash nuggets of bikesexual brilliance. Our new trailer shows some of our favorite moments from this year and last.

This year, not only are all the movies inspired by the joy and liberation of sex and cycling, but the North American tour itself is human powered! This has not happened since the original Cascadian Bike Porn tour of 2007 and is an exciting challenge for our spunky team.

In 1891 intrepid riders spirited across the untamed landscape of the Western United States. Dubbed the Pony Express, they brought news from afar they connected disparate communities. This year Bike Smut will travel along a differently dangerous path. Braving extreme conditions and xenophobia we will ride our bikes more than 5,000 miles to bring this unique content.

Help us start off on the right track. Get your tickets now!
Hop on The Porny Express! 

September 3, 2012

a decade of deca-dance!

Did we say that right? Uh. Yes. Yes we did.



Thank you Zoobomb for giving us the cause to go down every week with so many wonderfully liberated bodies in motion!

 ZBX, our 10-year anniversary concludes with a Birthday cake feast tonight at Col Summers Park. Join us if you can!

August 1, 2012

Bikini Bike Wash

Bike Smut is proud to announce we are sponsoring an afternoon of cleanliness.

The Bikini Bike Wash is a fundraiser for Portland's 2013 World Naked Bike Ride!



Friday August 17th
Burgerville parking lot
Southeast 12th and Hawthorne
4pm to 8pm
Facial Book

Why does the WNBR cost so much money? Well for the first 5 or so years it was run successfully with almost no money to support it, just a dozen or so volunteers who gave their time to the em-betterment of the city.

But since then our naked members have swollen in size! There are thousands of people who attend each year! All those people will need a location to gather. The permits, the bathroom, the negoations with police and fire... its all an impressive amount of work and it is still all volunteer driven.

We would love to be able to ask the 1000s of naked bikers who show up to each give a dollar or two and then we would be able to cover our costs completly, but if you have never asked someone without clothes for money its a somewhat humorous situation. No clothes means no pockets and no pockets means no where to put any money!

This is your call to help support this fantastic event! If you want to help us by either being a scantily clad washer of bikes, if you have a donation of rags, sponges, cassette cleaning tools and the like please get in touch with us! bikesmut@gmail.com

July 18, 2012

Tisk tisk, TSA

The Naked American Hero, is free!

John Brennan, also known as Naked American Hero was found not guilty in a trail today for charges of indecent exposure for free speech action at PDX, also known as Portland International Airport.

("PDX" is the abbreviation of the airport which we often use to avoid having to write "Portland" because we are all so fucking busy that typing the extra 5 characters could cause a massive reduction in the quantity of awesome, self-indulgent bleeting*)




Brennan flies out of PDX for work regularly. That means that he regularly endures the rather fanatical behavior of the represanitives of the Transgressive Sexual-Assault Association, also known as TSA. On April 17, 2012 Brennan had suffered enough indignity. For although he is a regular participant in Portland's World Naked Bike Ride, he knows the difference between the natural honesty of a consenting nude body, and the embarrassing ordeal of being stripped naked against one's will. If Brennan was going to be strip strip searched than at least it would be in the safety of public view. He stripped naked right there by the conveyer belt to prove he wasn't hiding anything.


Specifics details of the day's events and more on the topic of nudity and perceived security via The Daily Beast.


In the trial the District Attorney relied on the TSA agent's ability to carefully reconstruct the scene of the crime. 

"Did you see his penis?" asked the prosecution.

 "Yes"

A damning hush did not fall over the room. The weight of the witness's testimony falling on the court like so much limp dick.

Thankfully for Brennan, the defense had the advantage of utilizing the "My wiener is political speech." defense.  In the court of law, (when the 1st amendment is still recognized) "1st amendment genitalia" vastly trumps the TSA's right to prudishly declare they had a right to a private show. Which is where a lot of this rubber is meeting the road.

"Please don't show me your wiener,  others are watching me, looking at you." The TSA agent implied with a sideways glance.



For this crime against humanity Brennan was handcuffed and arrested but today Brennan was declared not guilty. I believe this is partly due to the fact that he lives in Portland, fucking Oregon and sometimes we are not as crazy as we may seem. 

[bleeting = blog tweeting, or tweeting about a blog, or any form self-referencing media hyperbola]


(note, due to some crappy blogger-type excuses this blog is like post dated or something)

June 29, 2012

More Naked Media VI


The videos keep coming! Here is a nice long view of Portland's Naked Bike Ride as it crossed the Burnside Bridge and came up to Sandy Blvd. 100s of naked bodies pass in only a couple minutes.

 

 Reverend Phil asks "Why? Why is it so popular to engage in this spectacle?" If you have any thoughts on the topic please leave them below.

A tribute to Sapphic Bike Love

Today is the day! We have toiled for countless hours, suffered a half dozen hard drive failures, twisted chains, got covered in grease and that was just the foreplay.

But none of that compares to what the filmmakers have done to make it so that we could present these movies to you!

Tonight we get to share all our hard work of traveling and expressing our commitment to the joy and liberation that come with sex and cycling. And damn are we ever excited to bring it!

Here is an almost SFW taste!



Exciting!

Bike Smut 6: Turning TriXXX 
Friday June 29 
Clinton St Theater (26th and SE Clinton) 
at 9 and 11pm 
$7 (half price tickets available for the 11pm show for a few more hours!)

June 28, 2012

After Party People

One might think it is foolishly arrogent to plan for a sweet after party days before the party has even started. What is the point of the afterparty, but the sweet excitement of having loads of people who unamiously agree, "This feeling must not end!"


That's what a world premiere is like. No one in the audience has a clue what is about to come next and that thrill and mystery builds the anticipation to another level. With the most graphic program we have ever curated and excellent sponsors who can offer you:






When it is all over what will you do? Dance? Drink? Fuck? All of the above in the streets? Oh, the tyranny of choice! It is understandable that you might be suffering from some anxiety due simply to the  head-spinning caused by the possibility of so much fun!!

Let us solve your dilemma (slightly) with one more sponsor
Shift (free bike fun)



MULTHNOMAH COUNTY BIKE FAIR
Saturday, June 30th @ 2pm be at SE 12th and Alder 
in sunny Portland, fucking Cascadia!
Your home for kickass, DIY, older-than-Pedalpalooza free-fun times!


Join us for something a little different. A few hundred of your friends and strangers gathered to listen to music, compete in races, watch tall bike jousting, and plenty of good old fashioned DIY bike fun!


Wasthat?? You think 2pm the following day does not count as an afterparty?  Well we think it doesn't matter when  you start partying, it matters when you stop! The power is in you! 
yea captin, prob some energy drinks too!

June 27, 2012

More Naked Media V



Music by Love Bomb Go Go

Words by Steph

Bodies by naked bikers of Cascadia

Joy by Shift2Bikes



Tomorrow we will have a much longer and more satisfying video for your carnal viewing pleasure.

June 26, 2012

More Naked Media IV

Something was screwing in the land of Blogger, and half of our favorite BikePortland photographs from Portland's evening World Naked Bike Ride had issues and failed!

So we are bringing them back in full glory!







All images via BikePortland. Thanks for documenting and sharing our display of vulnerability!

BikeSmut 6: Turning TriXXX

OH IT IS ON!

Bike Smut has never been more graphic.
More revolutionary sex!
More queer bike!
More awesome performances!
More Bike Love!

MORE! MORE! MORE!
ENCORE!  ENCORE!

Bike Smut 6 is Turning TriXXX across North America


With films from two feminist porn award winners, as well as entries from 6 different European countries, we have never been so excited to share this art. Below we have a list of all the brilliant and diverse films you will see at the show!


Slut <3 Bike <3 Love  (2:40)
Sarah Armstrong & Rødbro, 2012, Copenhagen, Denmark
A story of bike-sexual sluts and their search for freedom in the city.  A gang of girls get on their bikes to see what they can find.

Muchar Living Pictures, 2011, Graz, Austria
An erotic dream of indoor bicycle racing.

Tinto Brass, 1998, Italy
Tinto Brass has been long considered the King of European erotica and is most famous for the film ‘Caligula’. ‘Monella’ is from much later in his career, but opens with one of the most charming scenes of bike-sexulaity in mainstream cinema.

A Ride (5:32) 
AntionnexVx, 2011, London, UK
One room, one chair, two characters dressing up for a ride.

Lexo City Bike Tour (3:20)
Lexo, 2012, Italy
An Italian woman ass-erts herself on a city-provided bike.

Queer porn hotties Courtney Trouble and Bianca Stone find themselves covered in grease after some careless riding ends in a dramatic bike crash. They kiss and make up and go to rinse off. They scrub each other squeaky clean, and make sure to get each other off before they get back on their bikes.

Pandora Blake, 2012, Surrey, UK
Molly has arranged to meet her girl in the woods for a picnic, but Pandora has other things on her mind. She knows how horny it makes Molly to have her bottom smacked, and that gorgeous bum looks so sexy perched on her bike saddle that Pandora tells her lover to stay there while she spanks her.

PUMP! (6:04)
Rev Mook, 2012, Los Angeles, CA
A girl riding in the desert gets a flat, soft tire. Unable to find help, she discovers a bike pump! Unfortunately the pump fails to get the tire hard enough for her liking, so she explores alternative methods to convince the pump to make the tire hard.

Smut Noir (3:45) 
Megan D. and Jenn H., 2012, Portland, OR
A private detective is on the hunt for a notorious bike thief.  When she finally tracks down the culprit,  she hits her with some hard punishment. These three-time Bike Smut contributors have chosen to use the noir style for their latest work.

Bike Maintenance (6:00)
Adrian, 2011, Berlin, Germany
A self-described chronic masturbator and bike lover services himself and his bike at the same time.

The Bike Wizard (6:15)
Jessie Sparkles, 2012, Seattle, WA
Two budding bike-sexuals are confused about how things go together. Good thing the Bike Wizard is around to help them figure things out.

Madison Young, Girlfriend Films, 2012, San Francisco, CA
A peak at an epic lesbian bike porn adventure. Feminist Porn award winner, Madison Young, explores the many ways queer bike messengers might get frisky during an average day at work. One of the only bike porns to ever been released on DVD.

Come Find Me (21:33) 
Courtney, Trouble, Poppy Cox and Rev Phil, 2012, Oakland, CA
A woman wakes up to an enticing polaroid, inviting her on a bike powered scavenger hunt.  After a lot of teasing she gets her thrilling reward.  

After 6 years, we still do not make DVDs or put these films online. The only way to see this program is to come to a screening.

June 25, 2012

More Naked Media III

Gadzooks! One might think with all the hubub we would be able to post pictures of beautiful naked bodies gloriously traversing the barriers time, space and modesty FOREVER.

We sure hope so.

motorists are encouraged to flee their vehicles at once
 
defending the streets for bodies

dancing naked *IS* political protest

wants you to ride, EVERYDAY


More pictures are available, thanks to our very own
defenders of mobile liberty, PDX Bike Swarm
!!!

June 23, 2012

More Naked Media II

It is about time for you to
Crank my chain!

Our friends at Crank My Chain have been making great bicycle themed movies for most of the past decade. While many of the rest of us are content to angle for simply better marking of streets and infrastructure, or just to get drunk for free, they have worked to help keep the riot in patriot.





This is a poem found on the Occupy Wall Street Bicycle Coalition site set to the World Naked Bike Ride in Portland, Oregon. The poem is about the Naked Bike Ride and life and liberation.



Keep rockin in the free world, sans pants