Portland Refactory Peroid

The Orgasm Trail has come to its gooey conclusion, and tho there are thousands more horny cyclists we have yet to fulfill, we have decided to take a short break from all our touring to give our bodies time to recover from the epic travels we have had.

In the past year we traveled vast distances across varied physical and mental landscapes. But therewas little to prepare us for our Portland reunion. The Clinton St Theater seats 250 but lines were out the door as the happy-go-fucky perverts filtered in and out of our spacious venue, many complaining that there was no room. Sometimes the streets are full, and sometimes you have to squeeze in to make space for yourself, but when a red bus load of crusty Los Angeles bike punks rolls up demanding bicycle erotica what are we to do?

By the time it was over many on the streets stood in a state of disbelief, their mouths (and/or other orifices)  left agape with all the shock and awe of what they had beered witness to.

Suddenly someone yelled, "Flash Mob Naked Bike Ride!!!!!"  There was a quick exchange about who would carry clothes and suddenly people started stripping down to their undies, or less.

 http://piapie.typepad.com/piapie/2012/02/wallpaper.html

But really it is the casual approach to sex with the business approach to clothes that makes it work. Hellyea you are looking good! (or so you might say)

Looks like we made it to Orgasm.....I mean, Oregon!

We made it...... Like we made it, we made it, we made it! BIKE SMUT IS IN PORTLAND for the first time in almost a year. WTF and HALLELUJAH!!

The land of milk and honey is just as sweet as when we left it. While the cold rain is making us realize we have lost all of our wool socks, we are keeping warm just from the wonderful squishy 'home at last' feeling inside.  Courteous drivers, endless bike lanes, cheap delicious beer, super rad strip clubs and even a gay major who wants to take the cities money out of big, unethical banks; what more could a bike-sexual ask for???

To celebrate all those bad ass riders, who manage to make rain gear look so sexy, we are showing 'The Orgasm Trail' one last time for the 9th annual Mini Bike Winter.

Thats right, Mini Bike Winter is the worlds longest running, completely DIY bicycle festival that shows us how we don't need any 'dead presidents' to have free fun, even in the middle of winter. Bike Smut is kicking the weekend off with a FREE screening of radical porn at our old haunt The Clinton Street Theater. To make the evening extra special, we are going to kick off the whole evening with an exclusive look at our 'behind the scenes' tour videos and a presentation from our new friends, queer and sex-positve pleasure shop, As You Like It.

After the show, we are all gonna strip down for a quick naked ride to meet our friends The Dropout Bike Club, for their official MBW group ride.

We are SO excited to see old friends and make new ones. Hope to see you there!!

Friday, Feb 17th

Clinton Street Theatre

2522 Clinton Street

6:30

aint no Media-ocer Monday

Its a Funderous (pre) Friday!

Thanks to our friends and media partners for helping to bring more sex-positive, transportation-ally-aware art to the people.

Thanks be to our northern racing folk who been killin it in the streets:
http://gomeansgo.org/2012/02/10/next-weekend-in-pdx-mini-bike-winter-2012/

Possibly our most innocent film is now (gasp!) online, a big deal for us since we are so political about distribution:
http://nord-stewart.com/2012/02/16/why-i-bought-a-bike-for-your-viewing-pleasure-on-nsi-online-and-in-portland-or/

Bike Portland got the ball rolling five years ago and are still committed to our mutual cause:
http://bikeportland.org/2012/02/16/zoobombs-annual-event-mini-bike-winter-starts-tonight-67370

and hey, whats a weekly listing of free events without OUR free fucking bike eventL
http://www.pdxpipeline.com/monthly-event-list/february-2012-bike-smut-film-festival-clinton-street-theater/

and another for the rest of this wkends action, just in case you didn't know how much fun we are having:
http://www.pdxpipeline.com/2012/02/13/portland-mini-bike-winter-festival/

But this isn't one of those exclusionary events designed to make people feel shame, this is FUN in the STREETS for the PEOPLE, and you are invited to take part.

http://zoobomb.net/minibikewinter/

We wouldn't have great art to share if YOU the inspired bikesexuals of the world didn't make it. So expect our call for submissions for our upcoming collection soon!

Portraits of a Pedalphile - Part III “Trikers”

Hate might be a strong word, but scorn might be too soft for our dear friend Merv as he attempts to describe how much cooler his mini bike is than those ridiculous tricycles.




Was this a backlash of pot labeling kettle darkly pigmented? Another example of transportation minorities keeping other transportation minorities down. To which there is only one proper response.

vertical bike bowling

our own salmon nation sam is about to go viral.

mini bike winter is over...

LONG LIVE MINI BIKE WINTER!

reMembering Detroit

Detroit. The motor city that has been running on empty since the 70s provided one hell of a good time for us!

Besides being able to explore the vast wasteland and NOT get arrested for trespassing we also got to ride with the best critical mass crew we had seen in many a moon. Srsly, they took care to make pertinent announcements stating their intentions, giving some degree as to the history, and also pimping the fun times that were about following the ride!


Moreoever we had excellent fucking hosts who decided that we should be adorned with a huge fucking awesome warehouse party, complete with stripping fire dancers. A well stocked boozatorim with a heavy pouring bartender, and a smattering of slick art from local bike lovers.

BTW did you know that Detroit had bike lovers? I know! crazy!!

Here is a fantastic video made during critical mass. Thankfully the place filled up pretty nice by the time the show started...



And what a show! We were able to get local nut job/ writer/ self-deprecating gentleman Jimmy Doom to step to the mic for some inspired rantings including a bike porn inspired bit about his momma writing a note to his pastor decrying his bikesexuality. Hilarious and on topic? STUNNING!

The audience was in pretty good mood, from the glorious weather that baked out hot bodies to the discounted entry for those riding bikes or the even more discounted price to those not wearing pants! How better to encourage watching dirty films but to remove those annoying leg garments!

By the end of the movies and our live performances the audience was... well pretty excited. And why shouldn't they be. Having a team of sexy bikers singing and stripping and cavorting is about the best way to make a room full of mature adults primed for more explicit action. Of course we are only setting the stage for such activities. Anything done by sex hungry bike sluts following a screening of Cycle Bound is purely on the shoulders (and booties) of the consenting adults.

Still we are happy to encourage folks to express themselves so, you could also say that while we don't explicitly encourage any specific behavior we also don't forbid many things either.

We are truly blessed and if we can do it next year we are gonna go with our hosts idea to combine the screening with a weekend of building chariots for a massive rolling party of destruction. Sure Portland* has for several years hosted Chariot Wars, but only in a small space of limited post apocalyptic insanity. Consider the differences when you have your choice of warehouses that are completely vacant, and have been for over a decade. Hell not just a few buildings, we are talking about entire blocks.

Get your battle armor ready but leave the foam behind. This is Detroit. Find a piece of scrap metal.


*We promised to not compare Portland to other cities. But this is not a comparison, right? But just to swell your concerns about our fascination with our hometown we will try to not even make a reference to PDX for 72 hours.

In the meantime, please enjoy these fine pictures from our friend, Thomas L. Kula and our own Courtney Rodgers.

SHOULDBikesSaveThePlanet

Yalls remember back when we were warning you to fucking prepare for the radness of Mini Bike Winter? Perhaps you even got a personal invitation to come and enjoy the fun? Well you got just 12 days to get your butts to Portland.

This year in conjunction with our "officially unreleased theme" for Bike Porn 4 we wanted to making something that was gonna stimulate your brains more than ever. So it is with great anticipation we proudly announce:


Yes, this shit is real.

And it is happening in Portland.

And you are invited.

You dont need any money, you dont need to be 21 or older (being over 18 would make us more comfortable tho), you dont even need to ride a bike but if you do your chances of not going home alone increase by orders of magnitude. Similarly if you bring us a beer, make some intelligent commentary about the state of transportation infrastructure and make some cool stenciled swag with clothes your brought yourself we will prob swoon.

This is our "cheapest" screening of Bike Porn ever! We will be accepting generous donations which will go to support Mini Bike Winter. The idea is that fun is something people spend way too much money on, and if they only spent less money having fun they could work less and we would have more time to enjoy ourselves. This is what we refer to as the free fun spiral, which when not kept in check quickly leads to unemployment, eviction, and eventually just spending all your time masturbating on your bike under a bridge. (There are no confirmed cases of this yet, we are just assuming since this is what we probably would be doing if not getting paid the big bucks to do it in front of an audience.) But in this case we expect you to just give us a few bucks if you got em and have a great time.

Mini Bike Winter Kickoff Gala
Thursday, February 11th
Lotus Seed
NE 9th and Going

8:30pm

• Panel Discussion: "SHOULD Bikes Save the Planet",

10pm

• Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound - possibly the last Portland screening
  
• World Premiere, "MBW09 in 10 Min" by Jon Huey
• US Premiere, "Velo Love" a documentary of the Velo Vixens by Lauren Warbeck

All night

• DIY stencil station. BYO threads and invent your own brands.

On Friday crazy fun shit happens, on Saturday crazy fun shit happens, on Sunday crazy fun shit happens, and then on Monday... fuck Mini Bike Winter, the Backlash Tour will have begun! We are packing up all the fun and hitting the road, se ya suckers! Enjoy 3 more months of gloom!

Until then, the best reason to ride a bike in the winter in Portland is upon us!

Rejoice!


WE SAID REJOICE!

Flashback February

crap, this actually got us pretty hot.


Mini Bike Winter 2008 montage from millz on Vimeo.
thanks to millz and the Santa Cruz crew for doing it better!