Kicking off on The Porny Express

IT'S TIME TO RIDE!

Our first stop on the Porny Express is our historic bikesexual mecca of Salt Lake!

Come examine the finest bikesexual movies from Montreal, Gainesville, Oakland, Milan, Vancouver, Berlin, Chicago and Zurich!

One night only but loads of other rad stuff happening in conjunction with it!

Friday, August 30
The Goathead Preserve
Address TBA
8pm
Adults only!
$5-10 donation

Midnight Mystery Ride to follow!
Brunch nourishment Saturday morning!

Facecrack invite: https://www.facebook.com/events/560330540670147/

Double-fisting bikesexual movies

If it sounds sexy, it's cause it's gonna be fucking sexy!

This day, (some 14 hours form the time of this writing) the wold premiere of Tranny Snachers will occur at the Hollywood Theater (where we just saw Annie Sprinkle last week)!

This is a pure Cascadian porno. We can't say for sure it is sex-positive (its a pretty challenging term at times), but we are confident it is sexuality-aware, which MIGHT be more important.

Following this curiously violent idea to end all genders, there is a bike ride to end all movie screenings! Coming hot off the heals of Filmed By Bike, (where we met, and smoked with Gary Fisher) the Dropout Bicycle Club is hosting a free, outdoor movie screening for all to enjoy!

Just last month they celebrated an entire weekend of depavement debauchery including a mutant bike cyclecross race though a small industrial lake with a beer stop in the deep end.

Possibly the best bike club in Portland, if not the world and you can bring your own movies about trannys or transportation to the event, tomorrow night! Just meet at Col Summers at 9:30 and bring some dollars for beer. What could be easier?

Cycle Bound Schedule

That's right, all the chain whips in the world can't beat down your desire for new bike porn content.


In June 2007 a simple program titled, "The Pornography of the Bicycle" shocked and EW'ed many a unsuspecting viewer. The owner claimed it to be the most successful single night in the history of the Clinton Street Theater. Many reported saying they would never again look at a bike saddle the same way.

Then in 2008 a more involved more diverse program with submissions from NYC, Seattle, Columbus and Victoria BC mixed up the formula giving birth to "Bikexploitation," a mix of 70s inspired pulp film and wholesome family friendly cycle erotica.

Now we are in the Summer of 2009, only days away from the world premiere of Bike Porn 3: CYCLE BOUND. Here are the uber exciting details about the screenings:

• Friday June 12th
• Clinton Street Theater
• New in 2009, an early show at 6:45 pm
  
• Old in 2009, prime time show at 8:45 pm (gets out in time for the MMR)
  

Friday nights don't work for you? Try this last screening in June before the tour leaves Portland to demoralize the rest of the world:

• Monday June 22nd
• Clinton Street Theater
• Newish in 2009, a late night show 11pm
• EVEN NEWER BONUS SCREENINGS AT 7 and 9pm! 3 show night!
  

All shows are $6 and include impressive live performances.

Since it is our 3rd program we expect it to be good, possibly even violently good, like "oh my god, i just locked up your crabby-pants step-brother in the anal rape cellar" good. But we don't know yet... because there is still 2 weeks to submit a movie and a lot of humping gets done during these long sultry days and short, hot nights.


So it is up to you to create fine works of sexually charged bicycle art, to capture those images onto a format fit for display and share them with us, your humble media dominatrix.

TWO WEEKS!

SCHNELL!

where is your gootch?

Ah the Midnight Mystery Ride. A classic monthly outing for the late night drinking then biking then drinking crew.

We set up our cameras and just let the magic happen



So why are some of the most painful experiences also the most pleasureful?

Learn more later this week when we release the dates for our world premiere of Bike Porn 3: CYCLE BOUND

Bikes, Sex, Violence, Seatposts

awkward, uncomfortable and yet, still a bit intriguiging.

Click to play

Click To Play

Click To Play

Click To Play

Click to play

Click to play

Yoni BikeXploitation

You know how they say 'you hurt the ones you love'? It works the same with bikes. I don't all think bikers are *necessarily* masochists, although what do you call people who push their bodies for 18 hours at a time for fun?

This video is not about strenuous exercise, but it is about putting ourselves in an uncomfortable position and receiving an unexpected benefit.





Every week we are gonna have some more hot content of people speaking to their own personal experience with bicycle sexuality. Next week, DoucheMaster0 has his first bicycle euphoria in a New Your City Critical Mass

Thanks to Crank My Chain for technical assistance, and all the horny bikers on the Midnight Mystery Ride

Bike Porn II : BIKEXPLOITATION

Citizens of Bike Pornia, behold and submit to your new theme of human powered erotica:

Bike Porn II: BIKEXPLOITATION
Those interested in submitting a movie for our 2008 program must:

• send an email to bikesmut@gmail.com
• use mini-DV tape or better
• shoot in 9x16 aspect ratio
• make it 7 minuets or less
• know copyright-free music is better
• submit by April 15th, 2008

Here is a steamy, yet safe for work promo!


The same video on YouTube


Thanks to Crank My Chain! CycleTV, and the consulting adults of the anniversary Midnight Mystery Ride