Come Again, one last time, in Minneapolis!

Its the final screening of Bike Smut and its gonna be a doosie! Last year Minneapolis was one of our best shows! A perfect storm of bureaucracy threatened to shut down one of our favorite venues, The Bedlam Theater.  30 hours before showtime the city of Minneapolis told them there would not be allowed to host Bike Smut! Thankfully its a good community of people working together to make some amazing art happen and the excellent people at Ground Zero decided that the power of the Smut wouldn't be interrupted in Minnesota! Go on we did... and how! With the power of our legs we bike toured from Minneapolis to Montreal to Mexico! Now we have reversed the trend, going counter clockwise and doing it with the power of mass transit, eschewing our ass transit.. for now! Soon we plan to be bike touring again but for now enjoy THE ULTIMATE SCREENING OF BIKE SMUT 8: COME AGAIN!

Saturday June 20th
Ground Zero - 15 NE 4th Street

But first we are gathering for freedom of sexuality and mobility... and also for  deliciousness of great beer!

We're taking to the streets in the first round of QUEER Tour de Breweries. Ride in style with your favorite queers while cheering with your favorite beers!
 
$10 gets you $1 off full beers at Eastlake, Entry to Bike Smut 8: Come Again: Minneapolis

4 PM: Meet at Eastlake Craft Brewery
4:30 Roll Out to TBA
7:30 PM: Arrive at Ground Zero Nightclub for Bike Smut Celebration
Dance at the BSDM after party with beats provided by DJ Fenris

The "Come Again" theme has inspired bicycle lap dances, Craigslist hookups, androgynous ice cave explorations, Chinese bondage pegging lessons, bike cops taken hostage until they squirt and wheelchair porn! Minneapolis is the last stop on the tour!

ITS SUMMER FUCKING TIME!   GET HOT!!

hows your constitution?

Whew! Its been an exciting start to The Porny Express!

Just as quick as we had learned the City of Minneapolis was preventing the Porny Express from screening at our friends at The Bedlam Design Center we found another venue at Ground Zero. It is a good thing we did, an estimated 150 people filled every seat and seat-like surface Friday night!

but i saved a seat for you

We have to thank Jessica Armbruster who helped blow up the show, bringing our eclectic smut to a broader audience.

Before, during and after the screening the rad women of Minneapolis were organizing Babes in Wanderland, a full weekend of bike events targeted at getting women comfortable racing their bikes. Seasoned allycat racers take rookies under their wing and teach them valuable skills to keep them safe and happy! On Saturday nearly 300 women raced! 

With help from Grease Rag, a nonprofit that works to help empower women, trans and femme bikers. Nice work ladies!

At the same time this was happening in the Midwest, our friends at Self Serve Toys in Albuquerque had just concluded a protracted legal battle that started just after Bike Smut played at the Guild years ago. The Supreme Court of New Mexico ruled for porn! Because screening the occasional porno does not a porno theater make.

Congrats to the fine folks at Pornotopia and Self Serve. You fought for the rights of adults to be adult and not be ashamed. You won and you should be proud!

Return of the Offensive Penis

UPDATE
moments after posting this we learned that the City of Minneapolis came to our proposed venue with a cease and desist order. It would seem the offensive penis still has what it takes to make people uncomfortable.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Earlier this summer small bikesexual riot started off on one of the world's most bike-centric websites, BikePortland.org

Fueled by the possibility and that children might be exposed to a type of genitals that 49% already possessed (and another 40% would become more familiar with over the following decade) internet exploded in body-shame and snark.

Dubbed Offensive Penis Gate it provided an opportunity for some to stamp their feet at the horrors of pornography, for others it was taken used as a point of education about body acceptance while most just used it the way most use the internet, for the lols.

Here are some of the original highlights:

Chris I:
"If I had brought up the front page today during my lunch break, I could have potentially lost my job"

Sigma:
"People could get fired if they happen to glance at that at work while a boss/supervisor walks by."

Lonngone:
As I never was able to see the original photo, I have to ask if the person in the photo had an erection, was fondling themselves, or was using their genitalia in a sexual manner?
If not, then it would be "art". Now with that said, we could then begin the debate on beauty and its relevance to expression.

Michael Andersen:
Lonngone and any others who might wonder, the photo in question is now the second one down.

Lonngone:
"Oh, HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!! That is the photo that received all the prudish comments ?
Hell, I had to look twice, after your comment pointed it out to me!
I need new glasses, and all the members of the morality police that comment here need a reality check.... (good God!??!!)"

OffensicePenisGate has since calmed down, but we are excited to turn up the heat again!

This weekend we are in Minneapolis we have had the pleasure of being interviewed by Jessie Hausman who with a bit of caring nature presents Jonathan Maus' classic photo of a man, a bike, an #offensivepenis back into the lime light.

Read all about Bike Smut's newest tour right here, right now!

Minneapolis Bikesexual Weekend!

UPDATE: THE CITY HAS CHOSEN PRIOR RESTRAINT
using one of the most dastardly forms of censorship, our show this weekend will have to find a new venue. Please help us find a place!

WE HAVE A NEW VENUE! AND AN EARLY START TIME!

Bike Smut is thrilled to be a part of a fabulous time on two wheels in Minneapolis!

Friday night Women, Trans/Fem are encouraged to enjoy a social ride around town to learn about the following day's massive WTF* bike race, Babes in Bikeland!

Friday September 13th, 6pm

Join Grease Rag Ride & Wrench for a Pre-Babes Wanderabout group ride.  

Gold Medal Park.  

This is a no-drop, fun ride for the rookies, or to meet new people to ride with on Saturday.  Get the pre-race jitters out by socializing with other WTF* bikers.

NOTE! The ride is for women, transgender, and femme-identified cyclists ONLY!

However, we love to include our supportive allies in our events, and we would like to invite allies to join us after our ride in Matthews Park at 9p

Then a group ride to Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express in Minneapolis!

Friday, September 13

Bedlam Design Center  - CHANGE OF VENUE - TBA

Ground Zero 

15 4th St NE

9pm

donations accepted

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Then on Saturday, WTFs* are encouraged to recover from the movies, dancing and other debauchery with  20 miles of urban streets and trails, stopping at parks and lookouts at:

Babes in Bikeland 7

Saturday, Sept 14th

Registration is online at the link above or from 3-5pm at Powderhorn Park, on the northside baseball fields. 

Dogwood Coffee will be on hand to provide pre-ride iced coffee. 

Race starts at 5pm, cutoff is 8pm. 

From here on out, The Porny Express will be pedal powered only. No more driving, flights, car shares and ideally as little walking as possible. We have shows in Madison, Milwaukee, Chicago coming up soon!

*possibly the most hilarious reappropriation of an existing initialism ever?

* cowgirl illustration via emmvill

Beth and Bike Smuts Excellent Adventure: Whats better then Minneapolis? NOTHING!

In my last post I talked about our show in Bozeman, Montana, our meeting with our friend Leon and our epic drive across North Dakota to Minneapolis.

What I am here to tell you today is HOW FUCKING AMAZING MINNEAPOLIS IS!  

                                                           Nickey Robo likes bike smut.
       So we arrived at nine in the morning, exhausted and desperately needing showers. We were staying at the wonderful Nickey Robo's house, an old friend of Phil and Poppy Cox's from Portland, and we were greeted at the door by Ms. Poppy Cox herself! Yes, finally the lovely lady has joined us on tour after a two week hiatus. I immediately fell asleep and slept like a baby for six hours, woke up took a long shower then got a phone call from an old friend of mine from Los Angeles.

 

Andy pants eats Ethiopian.

                                                         Awesome animal tooth earrings.
        Charlie and Andy used to live in LA, but now they live in Minneapolis and I had no idea! We decided to get dinner that night and so using a borrowed bicycle (my back wheel broke, boo!) I rode to the house where Charlie lives. It was so so lovely to see them again, and we went for dinner at a little Ethiopian joint with a group of their friends (who are all amazing). After dinner Andy and I decided to go to a house show and we rode our bicycles there in the coldest rainiest head wind I have ever experienced. It was well worth it, the music was awesome and it was a great opportunity to flyer for our show the next night at The Bedlam Theater.   I met some lovely folk, got a lot of them interested in going to our show and spent a good chunk of time singing songs from the Might Boosh and talking about British comedy. Such fun! The next day way the day of the show. We had a lovely breakfast with Nickey and later while Poppy was working on her costume, Rev and I went to the local Zine fest. We were able to flyer there and in return got some awesome stickers, zines, prints and a pair of animal tooth earrings.

                                                          Dinner at Nickeys house!
                                                         
    Before we left for the show we had a lovely dinner of pasta with plenty of veggies and some nerdy beers. And then with no time to do the ride that was lead to our show, we set of to the theater to start setting up! We set up the merch table and before long the audience started filling up the space. So much so that some had no space to sit! There were people standing in the back as well as people sitting on the floor. 90+ people attended, our biggest show yet! Everything went of without a hitch. From the the bike dance performance from Wheel Sexy, the films themselves and the give away we did at the end of the show. My friend Andy (mentioned above) won a blow up sex sheep, one lovely lady won a  Silly Willy , and one gentleman won a pair or hand cuffs made out of bike tubes!
                                                     

                                    After the show at the Hex bar. Bike porn then punk band!

                                                            The three of us reunited!
         After the show we all went to a bar just around the corner called The Hex bar.  An awesome ska punk band was playing as we drank whiskey drinks and beers. We danced, we took group photos and then spent some time at a friends house before heading back to warm soft beds and kitten cuddles.
    The next few nights after the show we got some more hanging out done. More sun filled days riding bikes, lovely lunches with friends and a movie night of Harry Potter and beers with the loveliest men in Minneapolis!
   We left on Minneapolis on Wednesday, heading towards Wisconsin! The state of cheese curds and good beer. More updates on what happened there will appear shortly. First, listen to this song:

 (This is FARMS a band that Andy and Ben are in, they are two of the loveliest men in Minneapolis. Check out their music. Its like candy for your ear holes) (oh and shout out to Charlie and Nickey for also being the loveliest thangs ever, I don't know what we woulda done without you!)

Minneapolis get maximum bike sex

Tour de TriXXX is quickly moving east and our first official stop in the 'mid-west' is Minneapolis. New(ish) home to one of our favourite feminists and former filmmakers, Nickey Robo. Headquarters to one of the most gender-bending bike clubs in the lower 48, Queer Bike Gang. And the brick and mortar hub of the wonderful feminist sex shop, Smitten Kitten. All of these wonderful people in one place, and they all wanted to help with the show!

Nickey Robo, actually hosted Bike Smut 5: Speed about 6 months ago to help support the awesome new group Wheel Sexy. It was one of the only shows we did not personally show up to screen, but we think she still did a great job!  Nickey helped sort out a space for us in MSP again, and created the magnificent flyer you see above.

Queer Bike Gang has also helped us out in the past, and this year they will be leading our pre-show ride, which will start at Smitten Kitten at 8 and deliver you to the show right on time for the start.

Smitten Kitten is one of Tour de TriXXX's very special sponsors and is helping us spread the good word of bike sexuality all over North America. They have been getting Minneapolis hot and bothered since 2003 and have a top-notch online store too. They are an excellent resource for mid-westerners and bike-sexuals the world over. 

Be sure to check them out online or at their store: 3010 Lyndale Ave S.

And of course, don't miss the show!

Saturday, September 22

Bedlam Community Design Center

2714 E 27th St

10pm

Freedom From Pants!

Glory be! Our comrades in Minneapolis, the Queer Bike Gang brought forth the joy that is riding a bike without pants!

And while it might not pack quite the same political punch of a World Naked Bike Ride it was still a powerful message of healthy bodies, regardless of shape or size having fun in the streets. Bike Smut proudly salutes these brave defenders of our liberty.

viva sans pantleon!

photos via http://grouchosports.com/
and http://morcmtb.org/

Midwestern 5:SPEED Mayhem

Bike Smut is back home, but our various allies are still working hard to encourage their various communities to appreciate the joy and freedom inherent to better sex and more appropriate transportation.

To that end we are attempting a new system of erotic bicycle movie delivery: the sexy proxy

Introducing your Midwestern bicycle pornographer, and her pussy bot

 

She, who may end up being named later on (possibly for sentimental reasons) will be hosting those bikesexuals lucky enough to live in/nearby (or willing to travel to) Minneapolis this weekend!

Bike Smut 5: SPEED

Friday, March 2nd
The Bedlam Community Design Center currently in the Ivy Building:
Street Entrance: 2714 East 27th STREET – its on the SIDE of the Ivy Building, facing the Bike Path

8pm

FREE  - donations strongly encouraged, facecrack invite

A fundraiser for and presented by Wheel Sexy

Plus a sweet bike ride to the event put on by the fabulous  Queer Bike Gang!

Launch from Sunrise Cyclery, Lake & Bryant 7:00pm

w00t!

rub a biker out!

This news just in from our Minnesota friends who love bikes, bodies and the connection between:

I visited the bike porn preview at smitten kitten last saturday, I really want to get involved! I got a flyer for the Mon. March 7th event here in Minneapolis. I am a certified massage therapist with 7 years experience. I bring all materials and give any inquiring souls a 15-20 minute deep tissue swedish style massage and the charge is donation. Its a fun addition to any occasion where people are getting together and I live a block away. Please let me know if you are interested, i've done this for the Rollergirls, the midtown farmers market, and all over the world. I hope to hear from you!!!

Well now, who are we to stand in the way of rubbing bikers. Should be joyus way to work the kinks out!

The Northern Exposure Tour leaves Cascadia in a few hours. See you in 7-12 month!

images from erikdalton Knitting Park... huh?

Priming The North

Regardless of the sadness that has enveloped the state of Montana, Minnesota has been able to step it up!

On top of our screening in Minneapolis they are about to release Salacious: A Queer Feminist Sex Magazine. Pretty exciting!

We will be up in that bottom bracket the 1st weekend of March. Standby for more!

Bring Back That Minneapolis Bike Love

This is why we still are mentally able to make ourselves go on tour. Please enjoy this inspired press release from our Northern friends.


---------------------

BIKE PORN: 4PLAY at Madame
34th & Chi
Monday, March 7th, doors 6:30pm, show 7:00pm
$5-10 slide-it-in scale, $5 with a bike porn fetish outfit/helmet
CASH ONLY!
Facebook your badself

QUICK, GET OFF FROM YOUR BIKE! No, I don't mean stop RIDING, I mean BIKE PORN is COMING to YOU.

That's right, Reverend Phil is back from Portland with your favorite freaky footage:

naked polo!
exercycle ass play!
poon-popping wheelies!
tandem action!
bike bondage!
cog-suckers!
bottom brackets!
top tubes!
rear derailleur? I don't even know 'er!
straight people! having sex!! on bikes!
queers! having sex!! on bikes!
bikes! having sex! with bikes!
EVERYBODY!!
SEX!!! WITH BIKES!!!

Get brand new pair of rubbers, pop those spoke nipples into place, and bring the whole bottle of chain lube, cuz you're gonna need it!

BIKE PORN: 4PLAY!

Sneak peek at Smitten Kitten this Saturday, 2/26 and at

http://bikeporntour.blogspot.com/2010/11/bikeporn-4play-trailer.html

Bike Porn 4PLAY is proudly presented by: BIKE SMUT, Revolting Queers and QBG

How cool is that. We are totally gonna throw down for the QBG, just read their totally awesome/radical/bike punk statement:

Queer Bike Gang (QBG) consists of a bunch of Queers who wanna ride bikes together around the Twin Cities. You're perfect for QBG if: 1)You're a homo/lez/bi/trans/genderqueer/label-free or ally 2)You sort of know how to ride a bike 3)You want to hang out with others like you.

We exist so everyone can learn and have fun in a safe and welcoming environment and as a healthy, alternative venue for Queers to socialize, network, and share ideas. We endorse Queer political activism, sexual health advocacy, and the three R's (reducing, reusing, and reCYCLING, that is!).

purty cool eh?

do they have a pill for premature aging?

The ravages of the epic Backlash Tour has taken its toll on our 33 year-old curator, revphil pictured here with most of his team of PYTs in Boston. (NSFW)

We are doing it for your love people. Be sure to say thank you and if you can, bring us some health care.

Thanks MPLS! We are really thankful you stopped snowing on us. On to Winnipeg!

Photo Credit to Derek Kouyoumjian

Does the size of the bike culture matter?

Many North American cities are preparing for another World Naked Bike Ride. Both Portland and Madison are forgoing the "official" date of June 12th in favor of having the ride on the following Saturday June 19th.

There were five thousand naked bikers in Portland last year. This year organizers expect seven to ten thousand. We say, "Big fucking deal!"

Sure getting 1% of your population naked on a bike does seem pretty cool, but really what does a few thousand dicks on bikes really say about a population? Take into account the cost of getting naked bike lanes and all that paint (green boxes for the roads, glitter for the bodies) and you can see how the cost of supporting naked infrastructure could be in the tens of dollars.

Still other places get actual funding for actual humans (potentially) wearing actual clothes...

Behold, the not all that mysterious but still ever enticing Muffeapolis, Minnesota. Where miles of car free travel is as easy as urban gentrification.

So how does it measure up?

PDX and MinnMinn have been playing a bit of good natured one upsmanship for sometime. But regardless of how great either place is everyone who is considering a move has to overcome the, "It's great to visit, but I could never LIVE there... it rains/snows too much!" challenge.

In reality people who do live there are so fucking content you have no choice but be envious. Kinda like a lobster relaxing in a lawn chair in an autoclave... but rather than explore that half baked metaphor any longer accept that both of them are great places to ride a bike, write a zine, or otherwise feel smug.

But fear not! The cross-city war of the transportationally-aware utilitarian people does not extend to the humptastic land of bike fucking. Here race, class, and gender all are tossed out the window. However hygiene, active lifestyle, and the ability to do sweet bar spins ARE criteria used for establishing sexual dominance.


FUCK THIS POST! GO WATCH SOME FUCKING SWEET PORN!

• 5/8/2010 - Minneapolis
• west bank social center
• 501B Cedar Ave S (above Nomad)
• 8pm and midnight
• $5, adults only

Also we promise to not compare any cities to Portland for at least a week.


Photo Credit to CandyCranks

You're Twins?!?

Nearly every history of bike culture (and specifically mutant bike culture) includes Minneapolis. It seems about time we introduce ourselves, and what love we are getting! We had almost given up on finding a venue when some local kickass bikers decided to make it happen!

"This Thursday March 13th, for one night only!
Strong Arm Marketing presents, The Pornography of the Bicycle. A series of short films on the theme of Bike Porn. It's cumming on thru it's eastcoast tour here in Mpls.

• StrongArm Marketing Complex.
• 117 Washington Ave N. Mpls, MN.
• $5 at the door.
• 99 to 100 limited seats.
• That's this Thursday night.
• Door at 8pm, Director/Producer intro at 8:15pm.
• Showtime at 8:30pm.

Scrool down the trailer page here for a short look. We all know cycling, and sex, are some of the best things life offers us. You really do not want to miss this. Spring is coming"

Damn, they make me blush like a republican

Besides showing awesome movies we are educating people on the nature of Free Geek. Come by the Walker Library to learn more about this kickass nonprofit and the people who are starting one in Minneapolis.

Fun fact from Wikipedia: Minneapolis has the fourth highest percent of people who are gay, lesbian or bisexual, with 12.5%, lucky for us zoobombers are so gay.