Science Friction in Berlin!

Bike Smut may be done touring in the US but lucky for German bike fuckers Miss Poppy Cox is on hand to deliver the goods in Berlin, Tonight!

We are delighted to have Science Friction be part of the Berlin Porn Film Festival! (but with a name like that how could they refuse?) Come revel in the splendor of the future of bikesexuality!

Saturday, 29 October
Moviemento Kino
Kottbusser Damm 22
10967 Berlin 
Get Tickets!

Das Pornfilmfestival freut sich, wieder die Fahrradsexuellen zu Gast zu haben!
Präsentiert von Poppy Cox

Working the Sausage in Nuremburg

If you search the Internet for "nuremberger" all you get is a sausage fest. Not dick pics, literally butchered meats in long, narrow enclosures. Fitting, because it seems probable that Bavaria invented partying while feasting on sausage and named it after a month in the Autumn (even tho they do it everyday). It doesn't matter if you order a hot dog in Hamburg or a Salisbury Steak in Frankfurt, these conventions do not apply. It might not make much sense to our New World food categorizations which tell us that while its true that both are cylinders of ground up animal parts one is a flat disk without a casing and the other is a long tube.

the end result of being a sausage around Miss Poppy Cox

Your complete awareness of this information is not required to watch Bike Smut this Sunday night at the Nürnberger Fahrrad-Film-Festvial. Still, Miss Poppy Cox wants to totally go all Bavarian with you! Enjoy a bright white sausage party with beer and pretzels and the world's finest collection of erotic bicycle films at the International Cycling Film Festival!

 Just listen to these efficient German verbiage:

Der Höhepunkt des 4NFFF: A Festival of Radical Pleasure!
Bei Bike Smut gibt es kurze, erotische Filme auf zwei Reifen.
Mehr verraten wir nicht vorher - wer Bike Smut erleben will, muss es erleben!

Nürnberg - Casablanca Theatre

Samstag, 7. Mai, 22:50 Uhr

Yeah! Yer damn right we Sprechen Sie Deutsch! Get your bike-fucking tickets online, now!

more info about this randy fahrrad film festival at the adorably named URL:  www.casa.bike

Das Porno Kapital

Its time.

Time for the final,
the ultimate,
the last chance for a full on turned on hard on with a bike on the big screen screening of Bike Smut!

Tonight in Berlin, the porno capital of the world we share the best of the past 3 years of Bike Smut.

Saturday, 6, September
Eizeit Kino [eye-sight]
Zeughofstrasse 20
22:00
5 - euros

http://www.eiszeitkino.de/ 

Get your FaceBook on! https://www.facebook.com/events/1518391578375333/

There are only 81 seats so either to reserve tickets by phone (and then pick up your tickets 20 minutes before the start) or buy the in advance.

WHY SHOULD YOU COME TO A SCREENING OF EROTIC BICYCLE FILMS?

MULTIPLE PERFORMANCES!

ITALIAN PORN POSTER ART!

ATTRACTIVE BICYCLES!

A LARGE FUCKING SCREEN!

HANDMADE RECYCLED PINS!

COLLECTABLE  STICKERS!

COMFORTABLE FURNITURE!

EXCLAMATIVE PROPOSITIONS!

Its gonna be a good fucking time.

Kiel Haul!

By now we should be sick of biking but actually its only getting better. In fact due to some bad information presented by brutally inaccurate German customer service we are traveling in Europe without our bike for the first time ever!

It feels strange but thankfully we have lots of good hosts helping to keep our mobile during these difficult days.

We have similar great expectations in Kiel, where a crew of bikers has been making the bike fun and advocacy happen for many years. Our first show was excellent! We felt quite blessed to witness a horde of bikers stripping down in the bar to wear our handmade underwear!

Tonight more magic from Germany's northern city. 


Am Donnerstag  20.00 Uhr
Muthesius-Hochschule Kiel Industriedesign Lorentzendamm 6-8 24103 Kiel
Eintritt ist frei

er what I mean for all you engrish speakers is

Kiel
Thursday
Muthesius-Hochschule Kiel Industriedesign
Lorentzendamm 6-8
8pm
Free! But you can make a donation.

more than a sausage fest in Hamburg

When we first came to Hamburg it was quite a frantic mess. We didn't know the city or anyone living here. Somehow we ended up screening at a perfect venue with an amazing fun audience and a fabulous party ensued.

We weren't sure if we would be able to return but it seems fate is into fucking bikes.

TONIGHT!

02. September 2014

21:00 Uhr

Gängeviertel, Valentinskamp

Das etwas andere Kinomovement ist wieder zu Gast bei uns. Das letzte mal vor zwei der Jahren war ein äußerst lustiger Abend.

basically they like us. We are stoked to be back.



Then only 2 more shows in Europe! 
Thursday in Kiel  (facecrack event page)
Saturday in Berln! (more face cracking)

Then we are back in Portland for the world premiere of Come Again!

Packing the Euro Sausage

From Brats to Wieners this dick on a bike is rolling across sausage country!

What support we got from our return to Germany. First a fabulously debaucherous screening in the former East German town of Leipzig. Sometimes we do free shows (okay often we do free shows) and we usually get a lot of thanks and some sticker sales. But they really dug deep into their beer fund. Then an afterparty at the neighborhood bar turned into naked dance party because, "well we did all just watch some great porn together, so ..."

Bavaria was also fabulous in a completely different way. Leaving Leipzig after midnight then riding from Munich to the suburb of Augsburg on no sleep and just the promise of Bavarian Brunch was a delightful suffering. But white beer, white (brat)wurst, soft pretzels and a hot shower got me in the mood. The Bike Kitchen in Augsburg were really into it they even made this promotional video:



Pretty fucking cool eh? The show was also exciting. We had a massive audio blow out in the first 20 min which resulted in the speakers screaming more than 120 decibels of pain... for 3 minutes  Yikes! But after pulling all the cables (yes even the projector) there was silence. A few words of patience and the audience waited on the streets outside while we scrambled to fix the power/audio issues. another 30 min and we were back on it and the room was maybe even more packed! A very good sign. They screamed with delight and because we had never been to that town before we showed some videos form the archive we don't but out very often including  a "bike snuff" vignette from the early days. Another dance party and tall bike rides around the city ensued.

 The next day we were in Munich where the Academy of art students were presenting their final works. Really fun to have many rooms of thematic art. In a bizarre moment an artist, who wrote a great story about our first screening in Munich three years ago saw us in the halls of the Academy and showed us her art. Her room ended up winning the best in show which is pretty fucking cool.

 
It was a really hot night. We were planning to do it inside the Kulturjurte (Culture Yurt) but that was gonna be a sauna so the rad bikesexual folks at Bike Kitchen who made a good poster and organized it help us set it up under the stars. It felt great!

Our Bike Smut Munich office got some photos too!

Then a gloroius ride along the Danube which has a excellent bike trail...

Now we are about to have 3 shows in 3 days!

Thursday at the Bike Kitchen in Linz

Friday with Critical Mass in Bratslava

 
Saturday in Vienna

FUCKING w00t!

Germanus Interrupts

We were in the midst of a pretty excellent bike tour, traveling all across Italy from Torino to Naples to Venice then out of Italy cross Slovenia to Zagreb, Croatia back to Slovenia to Graz, Austria.

1000s of kilos of hardcore bike pumping action!

And then there was a call to arms and legs! We are going to Bike Wars!

The former East German town of Leipzig is the battleground for another brutal example of why bikers should be given lots of welding equipment and beer.

Bike Smut will bring these warriors to a frenzied pitch!

Leipzig Bike Wars

Wednesday, 16 July (more events all weekend!)

G16 – Giesserstrasse 16

21h

Then the march will continue south to the gentler Bavarian lands (that already are perpetually soaked in beer)

Augsburg Bike Kitchen

Friday, 18 July

CityClub, Königsplatz

20h

Munich

Saturday, 19 July  

Bike Kitchen - Akademiestr 2-4

20h

Then our rubber treads mercilessly over the former Austrian-Hungarian Empire

Linz

Thursday, 24 July

BikeKitchen - kapuzinerstrasse 36
21h

Bratislava  Critical Mass!
Friday, 25 July

Vienna
Saturday, 26 July
Schikaneder Margaretenstraße 24
22h

Will we make it to Budapest or will the prudes halt our easternly advancement leaving us the sweet nectar of the Czech Republic to suckle upon?



The bikesexual war of eastern Europe shall be won or lost in these days. Do not sit idly by, stand up and let the world know that you love your fucking bicycle and you will proudly defend yourself from anti-bikesexual fascists... this is how we do it 

end transmission

### 

The Porny Express in... BERLIN?!?

Damn right! The Porny Express is moving fast! So fast we are gonna have screenings in multiple hemispheres the same week! This hasn't happened since we played in Australia almost two weeks ago!

Porn Film Fest Berlin
24/10/13

Kino Moviemento

Kottbusser Damm 22

16:45

https://www.facebook.com/events/396978267097920/

This show is hosted by our own Spokeslut, Poppy Cox!

 Get your tickets soon, last year was sold out and over capacity!

Media Monday, Remembering Munchen

Fuck me, (not just a happy suggestion anymore) we have been getting lots of great press but we are often less than... uh, motivated to write about people who write about people, who show movies by people who think its great to make movies about bikes and sex. It just feels like too much of an abstraction at some point.

Basically, we normally have to be in the right mood, but like any good porn star we are certain we can fake it and you (our generally mute readers) will have to suffer the consequences. And so we have decided that every Monday (cause ya know, it the start of the getting down to business week) we are gonna put on some soothing music, light a few candles, pour a few bottles of wine and yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP, IM TRYING TO WRITE IN MY FUCKING BIKE BLOG" to anyone who comes to complaining about the working conditions in their noisy, dimly lit, smoky cubicle next to mine.

Behold, The Munich (Munchen) Bike Smut News!

What's that? you dont speak German? Bavarian even?!? Well never fear, from our epic view of the internet we have found a special "website" that takes this devil foreign tongue and chops it into easy to consume bite sized chunks of Engrish.

Behold, Google translate

Careful with all that learning you got gong on.  Next week, (assuming we can keep this weekly column working for more than one week) we return to Milan!

Chopper Recovery

WE GOT THE CHOPPER BACK!

Bike Smut accomplished many things on our 6-month tour, but few joys can compare to the reunification of The Chopper with its owner.

We started out with a dozen tips from various internet postings and eye witness accounts from various contraband vendors. The reports varied some, but most had one or two young boys walking it all over the city. Eventually the tips brought us to a sleepy suburb in East Berlin. Once there everyone we talked to remembered seeing it and pointed us in the direction of a park.

Pornographers searching around for a stolen bike in Autumn

Retrieving a stolen bike can be a stressful challenge. Here our protagonist is confidently walking up to the underage thief. Moments later he calmly says, "I'll take my bike back now."

And just like that, the bike is ours again

The first mounting after almost giving up hope feels so good

The appearance Chopper Kitty, the friendly neighborhood cat was deemed a good omen

For a week thoughts about how to repay the bike thieves filled our minds. What is the appropriate reaction? What about when the thief is only 15 (and a beat down could result in the cops being called)?

We wanted to share some of the principles that brought us here. To explain to the thief that for 3 years, this bike builder has taken every Friday afternoon to help educate people in bicycle repair and the creation of more mutant bikes, for free so that anyone who wanted one could make their own. It's obscenely fucked to come into a workshop, break a lock and steal a bike from a place that would give you parts and time to make your own. That he trying to sell if for 100 euros made it clear that he was not a very smart thief. That he walked around town claiming to have built it made it clear he doesn't have very bright friends.

In the end it was decided that time spent trying to demoralize a person who is clearly without morals is not as enjoyable as just riding bikes.

All told it was a pretty wild ride. The mother-child-like bond between the bike and its builder was clear. Bringing them back together will be a memory we will treasure.

Multi media chopper theft action

Achtung! Chopper news! It has been a whirlwind of controversy and scuttlebutt, as Berlin's greatest Chopper is still missing. Several sightings of it have come out in the past 36 hours. Conflicting reports of a large old stoner looking person as well as a pair of young school-age kids, walking around with it (reasonable, as it is far to large for anyone under 2 meters tall to ride comfortably). Local bike culture is up in arms over the theft, with calls for violent gangs to patrol the streets as well as phycological evaluations for the guilty. Everyone seems to be wondering the same question, "Why?" Sure it is a really smooth ride and it looks fucking cool; yet after a moment of consideration the thief must have realized that s/he could never comfortably ride it in this city. There is just too much likelyhood that he would be destroyed by vigilantes. more details on these local bike blogs: Cycling makes you beautiful bicycle collective Admiral in Kreuzberg

Berlin's Porno Chopper

Breaking news: Berlin's best chopper was stolen today!

Just last night following a screening of Pippi Longstocking at the Kopi squat in Berlin the massive chopper known only as, "The Chopper" was stolen. The lock was found broken where the bike was left last night.

Any stolen bike is a terrible thing and while we would love to be able to post news about every stolen bicycle, we dont have the resources to even keep up with posting about our own hecktic tour schedule. But this is different, not only is it a magnificent chopper, with glorious ape-hanging body positioning, detailed welds and decked out with actually valuable bike parts, but in this case the bike was actually a porn star.

Where will this package rest now?!?

The bike and rider (or cycle and cyclist if you are feeling more PC about the "use relationship of bikes") were planning to attend the final screening of the also massive, 6-month Bike Smut European Tour in Berlin this Thursday.

Moreover, the owner and creator of The Chopper is finally able to view his package being delivered as he appears in this screening! The premiere of their own bike porn movie that had just been shot in Berlin two months earlier and was just edited in time for this show.

To combine the sweet satisfaction of witnessing a room full of sexy bikers appreciating your best pedal strokes with the gut wrenching notion that some thieving bastard may be riding around on your baby is horrific!

We are hoping to avoid that pain and provide that joy! You can help by taking note of interesting bicycles and telling a friend who lives in Berlin.

The Screening is to be quite the gala smutty affair, with the biggest names of the post-porn world coming together to appreciate grace, liberty, and hot fucking bikes. (ideally ones that are no hot because they were stolen)

Moreover, we have just confirmed our friend and orgasmatic machine, Mad Kate, (of "Too Much Pussy" fame) who promises to bring her impressive gyrating skills with a new porn bike of her own!

Thursday 27 October
Loophole
Boddinstr. 60
9pm

But it is all so bittersweet.  Please keep your eyes open for this bike. If returned you will be granted discreet bike sexual favors, plus free bicycle maintenance and instruction every Friday afternoon for a year!

München mag Ihr Fahrrad

63 bike porn shows. 21 bikesexual countries. Bike Smut is the longest and hardest bike porn in Europe. But all things must come to a climax, and then, a conclusion. So with one last thrust we will explode through the finish line of our personal sex party velodrome that is the continent of Europe.

Our final scheduled show in Europe is tomorrow night in the city of Munich (world famous for having its own municipal Linux distribution). It has taken us five years to make it this far. It will probably be at least another five years before we can return, so here is your last chance, Europeans! Come to Munich for the last Euro Bike Smut hurrah!
























Presented by the superb Munich Bike Kitchen at Kafe Marat, Thalkirchnerstrasse 102, Friday, 14 October at 20.00. That's it! Do it now or forever hold your piece!

But wait! Word is coming of maybe one more last minute show in Berlin! This could be huge cargo bike full of hype for nothing. Stay tuned for the thrilling details! But even if we show again in Berlin, come to Munich and act really excited!

1x, 2x, 3 times a Bike Porno

Q: How much bike porn does it take to satisfy Berlin?

A: 3 screenings and counting!

Seems like those sexually permissive. bicycle curios Germans can not get enough! And so they are demanding another helping of the worlds finest collection of bicycle erotica...

and this just in, some local made art! Damn we love it when our hosts get into the spirit!


Saturday, the 30th of July
Koepi Squat
kino peliculoso
kopenicker strasse 137 (map)
21:30
Donations accepted

So many movies to share, which will we choose this time?!?

Still Kiel-in It

One of the greatest parts of traveling and inspiring people to view transportation and sexuality in a new light is the the art that is created when a community really takes the message to heart. For example this reinterpretation on a classic, the Bicycle Playin' Card

And this line drawing aint too shabby neither

After playing three shows in three days it was great to kick back for a couple days with polo and beer. Thanks for the recharge, Kiel!

Photo credit to Micha.

Lick the Kiel of my boot!

Wow! That was, by many accounts, the most successful European show ever! Was it our new, interlaced videos and performances? Was it the locals demand for more joyful, liberating art? We may never know, but we are pretty excited just the same, thank you!

Tonight, part 3 of our German triple-play.

Saturday the 16.07.2011
Erbse
Calvinstraße 20
24114 Kiel
10 pm

Three shows in three days would be too much for most pornographers, but thankfully our thighs are used to the strain and chaffing. Plus the local bike-folk have taken it upon themselves to design up some images for us. Thanks!

Come see our newest pornographer GiGi as she works your bodies to the breaking point. Then, on Sunday afternoon please come enjoy Kiel bike polo!

Ich Ben d Over, and take it like a bicycle

Three months in, our euro experience is halfway over! We have traversed the various reaches of eastern Europe. Istanbul to Athens to (almost) Albania!


(note: besides your chain, you might also loose your pants)


But after all the jump suits, kebabs, and inspired dance moves there is one classic eastern euro experience that is missing...

A crazy BDSM euro bikesex party!

• Saturday, the 9th of July
• Schwelle 7
• Uferstraße 6
• D-13357 Berlin
• 21.00

Schwelle (meaning "threshold") organizes a variety of artistic displays of body movements and performances. The addition of bike should prove to be most efficient!

Bike Smut's first unofficial European screening!

The previously unreleased footage is now...

RELEASED!



Thanks Leipzig, it was a blast







We roll on!

Berlin Field Report

Check out the sweet hair at the end! If others have suggestions for how we should shave up this guy please leave them in the comments.

Gettin' Lucky with it!

Let us take measure of our good fortune:

We were still able to buy tickets to Europe the day of our travel after the airline cancelled them and sent the "you can fly on our plane" message in German.

We were able to convince the ticket lady to kick some bureaucratic ass for us and hold the flight and escort us through security checkpoint allowing us to jump onto the plane moments before the gates closed.

We were unable to get our bikes on the same plane, but because we got lost walking to our Berlin host we didn't have to drag heavy boxes all over and instead got them delivered.

We found a great place to show bike porn in Berlin, but the show was already cancelled, but we have a number of people lining up for more bike on biker action.

We now have a van and are about to start traveling all over the continent.



We are staying in a great place, with excellent hosts who have a wall of macaws.

We have been able to party with great people and will do so again!