March 29, 2009

Sexy Awareness

Over the past couple years we have frequently been asking why porn features so much violent and/or demeaning sex?

We are left wondering, did we porn consumers create the marketplace for such behavior or are we simply being lead along on an already existing trend?

At first it seems a chicken/egg kind of thing. Did the demand for violence come first or did producers decide that there are benefits to having a demoralized talent workforce? Are we encouraging violence by consuming violent porn? Are we desensitizing ourselves? Can consumers even get off without hearing "Take it all, bitch!"?

Eventually we may come to assume that porn producers are creating content that the audience wants. If so what does that mean for the majority of our population? How would we escape responsibility for creating a violent sex culture then?

These questions become even more immediate given April is Sexual Violence Awareness Month. Time for a spring cleaning of our various hangups. Specifically the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (helping victims and perpetrators) is focusing their efforts this year on violent sexuality in the workplace.

We at BikeSmut LLC will strive to provide you with pertanant info so that you can be sexually aware at work and also some other places. We hope to flood your brain with all the sexual awareness you can handle.

1st up...

Our friends at Lickety Split report on a website that differentiates between sex and porn. has a pretty dismissive name, but actually seems like a interesting idea for generating discussion on ideas like who does and does not like to have ejaculate shot in their face.

So much to learn about blowing one's load. We hope that you will stay with us as we try to understand how to balance the needs of the sexes.

"With bigger semen volume, you’ll cum harder than you ever thought possible. You’ll get a big boost to your testosterone levels, too, which means stronger sex drive, better erections and overall much improved sexual ability. And the ladies? Blown away.".

Next time on BikeSmut: Is there a connection between sexual inadequacy and violence?

March 21, 2009

The View From the Top of Wang Mountain

Oregon law says being naked is legal provided you are not trying to incite a sexy riot, ergo cycling naked is legal, unless you are in a city like Portland that says you can't be naked outside of a venue that is frequented by a member of the opposite sex, unless you your nudity is somehow protected speech.

Naked bikers this might be a useful thing to remember should someone try to deny your right to bike naked:
"Your car can kill me regardless of what I wear, so if I have to bike naked for you to see me that is what I shall do."
This defense worked just fine for Michael "Bobby" Hammond who was arrested for biking naked this summer.

Assuming he can fake an English accent we have a Harry Potter script in development for him and his Nimbus.

Now the matter of hiking naked seems a little different to us. Were a pedestrian should have the same legal rights as a cyclist to be seen in traffic, most hikers don't worry about cars hitting them. So assuming you are hiking naked in the Alps and stopped by police, what do you do?

All this is at one hand understandable but sad. Just as we loathe the idea of laws regarding morality we also feel that any given location has the right to decide such things for themselves.

So is the golden age of pointing at Europe as being cooler with sex and bodies in general over? Will Swiss backpackers often find themselves in conversation about how "in the Americas people ride naked in traffic with legal protection!"?

March 20, 2009

Rolling Down South

Last time we checked in with the naked bikers they were getting along fine with cops, pedestrians were going horse from cheering, and most of the concerns of biking naked were related to severe genitalia road rash.

As exciting as all this is, just a continent away there is a naked bike ride with slightly better weather! Behold Australia's WNBR of... MARCH 14th?!?

Although though it clearly is a WORLD naked bike ride the changing seasons make for some impractical scheduling. Thus this past weekend many southern hemisphere cities were ablaze with naked cyclists.

Alas, most cities in North America and Europe won't be officially rolling naked until Saturday June 13th. Someday we expect there to be some WNBR sanctions on cities which routinely go against their hemisphere's chosen naked ride date.

In Portland the world premiere of Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound is just the night before, Friday, June 12th! For those of you in BikeFuck Capitol, USA that is consecutive nights of radical cyclical debauchery. Plan accordingly.

March 16, 2009

Eugene Makes Protesting Sexy Again

The matter of sexualized politics has become galvanized for many of us in the bikesex industry.

Naked riders are taking to the streets more than ever and organizers have increasingly found themselves dancing on the verge of cognitive dissonance.

Are nudists using bike culture to promote bare bodies? Are cyclists hiding (very little) behind their constitutional right to political expression? Are attention whores using media to show us their wangs? Are pedestrians using us as a rolling strip club? Are bikers using pedestrians to get free drinks? Are Google searches for naked bike rides at an all time high?

In summary: we want to know who is using whom.

We are fortunate that presently none of the answers to those questions change what it is like to ride naked all that much. In the future however, all naked bike rides may be plagued by all manner of distractions and such.

What to make of all this attention? It definitely has its pluses and minuses.

For example, it feels like we should be grateful that a car blog would cover the World Naked Bike Ride. They actually do a pretty good job of sheepishly reminding people why the WNBR exists. For a car blog to even acknowledge the matter of oil dependency and car culture without being overly rude seems like a big step. But then they totally snubbed Portland's record setting naked ride. We would take issue with their lack of journalistic integrity, but it is just as likely that they will have similar feelings about our recent presidential election coverage.

Besides, there are those of us who feel things like the World Naked Bike Ride should be clouded in mystery. Car blogs reporting on bike culture will go a long way towards generating more mystique. Do you really care when and where WNBR actually started? Pffft... BOORING!! A better question is when did riding a bike naked become wrong? Given the power of time travel we at promise swift kicks in the crotch to those lame pricks.

But ahh, in Eugene, Cascadia radical bike culture is sexy and alive and well (enough).

But what of clothed radical biking? If it seems like loosing all your clothes is the only way for a cyclist to make a point or get protection from the law we suggest you try reading fewer bike porn websites. Pedaling Revolution by Jeff Mapes attempts to explain the importance of cycling to the future of these United States... we think... at least according to the reviews so far (which have all been good, although "" might have an interesting perspective).

He reads from his book this Thursday, March 19th at Powells in Portland. For those in the audience: expect awkward questions and evasive answers about Mapes' personal feelings on bike sexuality.

later on... what is up with people in the southern hemesphere? why is there weather so fucked?!?

March 13, 2009

SUBMIT! to the sexiest bike show in the world

Lets go over this again.


Literally and figuratively . There is a reason porn becomes disinteresting so fast. Porn seeks to fulfill our most basic sexual needs and nothing else. This leaves the viewer feeling empty and drained. Sometimes that is all we want, but sometimes we want more.

In the biz they say "call for entries" but Danny Glover says, "Put it in your mouth!" and he means it!

A major joy and problem with porn is that it has low goals and it only kinda succeeds in fulfilling them. Void of substance, most porn leaves the viewer with a feeling distant from those around her.


We want to see the human/bicycle condition represented in a new exciting way. We want to have our feelings on sexuality challenged. We want an unprecedented amount of consensual sexual energy.

Sure, hot people on hot bikes is good but that is not the totality of Bike Porn. Maybe you can reach deeper. Why are bikes sexy? Show us!

The content you submit is ideally (although not necessarily) related to the theme, "cycle bound." This theme is for you, the creator, to interpret.

Any form of artwork on the theme is welcome. Most will be in the form of a totally sweet movie on Mini-DV tape shot in 16x9 cinema ratio. DVDs and VCDs will probably work fine but are more prone to errors.

You have until the 1st of June to put your entry into our headquarters:
C/O Bike Porn Industries
5301 NE 16th Ave
Portland, Oregon 97211

Please include the following info with your submission:
  • movie title
  • year of film's completion
  • director(s), or anyone who deserves props. (You can remain anonymous.)
  • running time
  • movie synopsis
  • What protection do you want? Some people request that a movie is never played in a particular city. Others are hoping to have everyone see the movie. Choose which licenses your work is protected by!

Selected works will be included in the ever-expanding Bike Porn Tour. In the past two years no artists have had their work leaked onto any lame porn websites. This is an excellent opportunity to share your vision with the hungry masses in a safe setting.

Don't wait for the last minute. Make inspiring bike porn today!