May 30, 2011

Trans-Balkan Odyssey

Can Bike Smut escape Greece? Are we destined to face the same fate as ancient Odysseus, to spend 10 years playing deathmatch bike polo with Scylla and Charybdis all because we have pissed off some short-tempered god? We certainly hope not, and we have made the appropriate sacrifices to ensure smooth bike porn travelling from here on out.

After our tour van stranded us in Katerini, Greece, and one team member got waylaid by highway bandits in Athens, we are about to make a desperate lunge for Ljubljana, Slovenia. There pleasant fields of luxuriant bicycles and sex await us. Come frolic with us! This Tuesday we will be playing at the Rog social center, an abandoned and squatted bicycle factory. Here is what you need to know, potential lover of ours:

Tuesday, May 31st 2011 at 21.00, Social centre Rog, Ljubljana
21.00: Bike Smut film screening
22.00: Call for Demonstration of Invisible Workers of the World and invitation to the 2011 Gay Pride Parade (both are happening on June 4th in Ljubljana)
22.30: DJ program

Organised by Feminist and queer festival Red Dawns and IWW. Contact:

We are very excited to be joining forces with Invisible Workers of the World, an autonomous trade union for migrant workers. IWW organizes for worker control and self-determination in the workplace, Bike Smut brings the fight for self determination into our transportation and sexuality. Together, we are a force that will bring you to the brink of revolution.

So, until then, you can keep busy during our 12 hour drive by pondering this deep and stimulating message from our other insurrectionary Ljubljana hosts, Red Dawns:

May 27, 2011

More Extension!

We have been getting some pretty amazing works, including a jaunty take on the tweeds and a lot of work done in film! Congrats!

For those slackers who need just a bit more time, we have engorged and extended our selves to you.

You have an extra week to make great porn!

Get it in
by Monday May 6th!

May 24, 2011

Its a WORLD naked bike ride!!

This ride is going down like a 200mm crowned DH fork in the Utah back country!

IF you are reading this you are probably living on earth which means you are invited to ride your bike naked this June!

There are many ways to travel, but doing it on a bike in the buff with a dozen (or a thousand) or so of your best (new) friends is almost certainly the most memorable.

You could sit there and think, "Ho, no... those zany bikers... what will they do next?" Then you lazily move on to another Ted talk about saving the planet.

From our perspectives there are two possibilities:
  • 1) naked bike riding will change the nature of our behavior braking us from our spiral of resource consumption/species destruction making it possible for humans to coexist on Earth
  • 2) nothing will prevent our own eradication; do the most enjoyable thing ever while you can... RIDE A BIKE NAKED!

Of course you can ride naked on Saturday, the 11th of June in our esteemed (and well documented) naked cycling cities of Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, New York, and London (Portland will have their ride a week later on Saturday the 18th of June cause they gotta be different) but there are many more cities in the world where you can enjoy this liberation.

And really, the only thing you ever need to go on a Naked Bike Ride is a bike. One might say it is easier to go on a naked bike ride than any other, cause when you wake up in the morning all you have to do is not put on any clothes and go for a ride. Riding naked is more fun with a friend, but naked people make friends pretty easy! Just be proud and let people know bodies are beautiful, bikes are efficient, and joy is contagious.

Of course you can get all political and tell the random prude that a cyclist's right to be seen in traffic is more important than their perception of others offense. No one will actually say, "I find it offensive" they will only speak about what others will be offended by. "For the children!" Meanwhile kids run around naked and joyful because they care not for such uptight adult conceptions of decency.

Of course with traffic accidents being the #1 killer of people under the age of 37 in the U.S. there is a very practical reason to ride naked. Be naked and be seen!

Either way, it is possibly the most liberating experience of your life. So do it!

May 21, 2011

Cogless? More like pantsless.

Seattle is the hardest west coast city to ride.

But thanks to all the people throwing great events, its not the hardest city to party in.

Here is the Rebel Without A Cog's Blog and our long over due VIDEO OF THE WEEK AWARD

go forth and make your own slap dick vids... and QUICK!

Hungry for more bike porn?

Budapest remains sexually unsatisfied!

We may be able to come back with a force of bikesexuals, with all new phrases to help engage the locals

-fuck your bike / go to hell = baszd meg a biciklid
-make love with bikes = basszál biciklit

Also, we learned that the word for bike lugs is the same word for cunt.


May 16, 2011

Two more thick cuts of Turkey!

Thanks Ankara, that was some delirious crazy dance parties!

Now we head back to Istanbul
The 2nd largest city proper in the world with a population of 13 million, It is located on the Bosphorus Strait and encompasses the natural harbour known as the Golden Horny. It extends both on the European (Thrace) and on the Asian (Anatolia) sides of the Bosphorus, and is thereby the only metropolis in the world that is situated on two continents. - wıkipedia

See that small land mass sticking out into the gap? That is us. Our show is happening right on Turkey's clit!

OUTDOOR SCREENING (bring a blanket and enjoy porn under the stars)

Tuesday the 17th of May
Boğaziçi University
south campus courtyard
SBK Club room
on South Campus in the Male's Dormitory (next to the big clock)

8 pm
extra performances and dancing to follow inside!

Then, our final Turkey show!
  • Wednesday 18th of May
  • The Empire Project
  • 10 Sıraselviler Cd, Kat 1 D4, Taksim
  • 8pm
  • With live performances but probably no live lesbian oral sex (this time)
  • Donations welcome!

May 15, 2011

Romania media machine keeps coming!

WHAT HO! Possibly the greatest combination of words, images, and art showing off some highlights of our best European show yet! Clıck thıs bıke fuckıng lınk now! (ıts so good some parts of it are even SFW)
Thanks for making ıt count romanıa! For those who want to follow their bikesexual adventures check out their sıte at

Stıll fıstpumpıng ınto the future.

May 13, 2011

ankara bıke lovın

Bike Smut has reached the glans of our European genitalia exploration!
We are now at the farthest point of our tour, in the distant yet
somehow less-than-exotic land of Ankara, Turkey. A land of few bikes,
yet much hot queer sexing. So we work with what we've got.

We have two shows coming up in Ankara that we are super excited about.

First! An outdoor show at the Baraka at the center of the Orta Doğu
Teknik Üniversitesi (Middle East Technical University) campus on
Friday at 20:00. You usually need an ID card to get onto ODTÜ's
campus, but we understand that anyone with sufficient cleverness can
find their way through the university's defenses.

Second! A show at Kaos GL's offices in beautiful downtown Ankara at
18:00 on Sunday the 15th. Kaos GL is Ankara's premier queer political
organization, and they're about to get a heavy dose of bicycle
erections. Their office is at Gazi Mustafa Kemal Bulvari, 29/12
Kizilay, Ankara, Turkey.


May 11, 2011

Bike Smut 5: SPEED trailer, finally!

This was enough work that we feel it deserves its own post, so just in case you missed it here is the seizure inducing promotional trailer for Bike Smut 5: SPEED

go get some!

May 10, 2011

Submit to Bike Smut 5:SPEED

Lets just get this clear... YOU HAVE two ONE WEEK TO MAKE SWEET PORN!

Sure we do this to you every year, and every year you decide you can wait until next year. Only, we are really blowing ourselves out this year, so will this continue? No one can say for sure. We are committed to the cause of bringing all this sweet art for one more year. Will there be a Bike Smut 6?

The future is vast and unknown, so take this opportunity to "do it in the road" and do it fast!

Call for submissions
Bike Smut 5: SPEED
EXTENDED Deadline for entry is Monday June 6th, 2011

We are best set up to utilize digital movies (but we are researching how to accept sculptures and other media)
  • On DVD media, or possibly uploaded to our FTP*
  • Less than 10 min long (unless you are a bike porn editing god)
  • Shot in 16x9 aspect ratio
Finished movies can be sent to our Seattle office:

1122 East Pike St.
Seattle, WA 98122

Please include the following info with your submission:
  • movie title
  • year of film's completion
  • director(s), or anyone who deserves props.
  • running time
  • movie synopsis (if you don't write something we may write something for you) What protection do you want? Some people request that a movie is never played in a particular city. Others are hoping to have everyone see the movie. Choose which licenses your work is protected by! If you want bonus credit include a story (OR EVEN A SHORT VIDEO) about how you came to make the decision about the protection you desire. Whoa, sweet meta action!

Selected works will be included in the (maybe last) Bike Smut tour. In the past four years (with hundreds of screenings) no artists have had their work leaked onto any lame porn websites, grandmothers or anywhere else for that matter. This is an excellent opportunity to share your vision with the hungry masses in a safe setting.

*email for questions about your uploading technique

Make inspiring works of bikesexual art today!

May 8, 2011

Happy Media Day

So nice to start things off right with some upbeat (and accurate even!) writings about Bike Smut.

We hope this article from Zoe Roux will stay online longer than the interview from Romania. We are not sure why that article was removed from the nets but our team is leisurely pursuing the story but we love the artwork and are stoked to see it frequently theived (cause it means others think its pretty fuckin' fly too).

Our favorite part of the interview?
None of the films are available for purchase or on the internet. If you want to see it you have to invite Bike Smut to your city, making the mini-festival a social event usually followed by a party.

According to the website all invitations should include offers of cookies and alcohol, and anyone can submit their own film.

True that! You should expect to see the new trailer for Bike Smut 5: SPEED on this here blog in the next two days!

You have less than one month to create your own fantastic work of bicycle erotica... start today!

May 7, 2011

post porn glee in Turkey

We are on a winning streak!

Our European calendar is filling up with excited anticipation. Only a few dates left in our European schedule!

Moreover we are having great audience participation! Lots of laughter, insightful after show questions, "bare as you dare" bike rides, and opportunity to meet lots of fantastic people. Just last night, after our 1st show in Turkey, we got to rock out to one of the greatest gender bending parties of all time, then befriended the Tigers, a local motor cycle gang.

Yes, it's that good.

May 6, 2011


After 6 checkpoints directly after one another, with only 3 people working in each of the 3 booths we are in Turkey!

We are in Istanbul, Turkey and have found that our host has set up a show for... TODAY!

BİSİKLET PORNOSU LAMBDA'DA: Lambdaistanbul Kultur Merkezi
İstiklal Caddesi Katip Çelebi Mah. Tel Sok. No:28/5 Kat:4 Beyoğlu - İstanbul
Donations accepted
Massive afterparty to follow:

Hiçbir masraftan kaçınmadık ve sizler için ta ecnebi memleketlerinden konuklar getirdik. Bisiklet pornosuna gönül vermiş şugar mı şugar Bike Smut ekibini sizlere getirdik. Bize Göre Ne Var diyen bu dostlarımız, yılın but gullümlü partisinden önce müzikholümüzü şenlendirecekler. Kendi bisiklet pornomu hem çekerim hem oynarım diyen Bike Smut ekibi, partimizi duyar duymaz yola çıktı. Sınırları aşıp yıldız bacının evine misafir olacaklar. Bana göre ne var anam diyen yıldız bacının bu olay partiye çok şugar sürprizini kaçırmayın!

Partiden önce saat 19.30’da müzikholümüze gelin ve sıra dışı, çarpıcı, divalara layık performans/film gösterimine şahit olun. Daha da bulamazsınız bu gösteriyi!

Pornocu derneğimizi şereflendiren çok saygıdeğer pornocular kimdir derseniz, işte bu kapı işte bu da sapı diyor ve sizlere iftiharla bloglarının linkini sunuyoruz:

And what, pray tell, does Google say that means?

Foreign guests in their home for no expense, and you've kaçınmadık. Sugar Sugar Is bike pornography committed team, we've Bike Smut. What this says to us by our friends, the year before but müzikholümüzü şenlendirecekler gullümlü party. I withdraw and play your own bike and said pornomu Bike Smut team set out from our party does not hear. Will be a guest star sister's house to go beyond boundaries. What's my mother said to me sister to star in a very sugar surprise party, do not miss this event!

Hours before the party at 19:30 müzikholümüze bride and unusual, striking, divalara worthy performance / movie to show a witness. You will not find in this show!

Pornographers who is a very respectable association clumsy şereflendiren say, that's the door handle, he says that's the blog link and we proudly offer:

In fairness to Google, that is not actually Turkish but a slang language spoken mostly by transgendered people in Turkey: Lubunca

Where the rubber meats the road!

May 3, 2011

Can you hear the sound of... anything?

No? Maybe if we use a horn.


The first naked ride in Bucharest was not arrested by the Romanian police! Pictures eventually

Soon we will be in Turkey!

May 1, 2011

Bike Smut's first unofficial European screening!

The previously unreleased footage is now...


Thanks Leipzig, it was a blast

We roll on!