May 28, 2012

Post apocalyptic scifi porno gets you SPRUNG!


May 29th
The theme is POLY-NOMADIC. Some find freedom in the ability to be with many partners, whomever and whenever they like while they wander the earth at their leisure. Yet others find the instability of those things a cage of its own. This week we explore how we get around.

SPRUNG! presents 'Cafe Flesch' by Rinse Dreem
Tuesday May 29nd
Clinton Street Theater
$7, 18+

     Cafe Flesch is a Midnight Movie classic. Born out of the success of a more artistic porn industry of the 1970s, Cafe Flesch mixes sex, satire and avant-garde theater. It is set in the aftermath of a nuclear apocalypse, where 99% of the population is ‘sex-negative’ and the only way they can experience sex is by forcing the ‘sex-positves’ to perform for them. It won an AVN for best art direction and Stephen Sayadian (aka Rinse Dreem) went on make a few more pornographic b-movie shorts and classic features.
     That's right, its a post-apocalyptic sci-fi porno!! We thought would be a great way to end the series, and it was the top recommendation from our Austin Bike Smut host and pornographic blogger and curator, F*bomb.

  • A Bike Pornographers Almanac - "The grass is always greener, but why are these carrots orange?"
  • George Michael - A Musical look at Monogamy
  • Exert from - "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" (1969)
  • Top Ten Bike-Sexual Movie Moments - Just like all your favourite end of season specials
  • With Special guest performers - HAMMERCISE - Mc Hammer + exercise = Hammercise.
photo credit to

wanna see more? try this probably NSFW trailer:

May 21, 2012

Media Monday: more social diseasin'

Booya! Here at BikeSmut we got some of the best problems in the business

Running out of Men's handmade underwear. Tragically good!

Hard drives overflowing with excellent, DIY porn?!? Fabulously good!

So many new Twitter followers that we have not been able to keep up with our email inbox? Especially these 10 that came within 43 minutes of each other? Embarrassingly good!

We hope to get to learn about each of you in turn, although it might take a while. In the meantime feel free to holla at us @BikeSmut ,,, the fancypants sms of the bikesexual revolution! If you only wanna observe our curious visual offerings we suggest you follow our Tumbler, If you want some of both with the opportunity to bring the Bikesexuality into your personal Internet life it's hard to beat Bike Smut's FaceCrack. Never mind that they are taking a bath in the stock market, we share lots of bikesexual images and news clippings.
We expect that we will soon be able to deal with all of these problems soon enough. Our new website where you can actually buy our handmade panties. We didn't just slap our brand on some cheap, mass produced crap, we choose the fabric, laid our the pattern, cut it, silkscreened a double helix of bikesex, then sewed so the image goes right up to the seam.  Before these were only available at screenings, now we got biker booty bouncing for your pleasure 24/7 on our online merchandise store!

Take a closer look
Expect more men's undies available in the coming months. We know how our grundle pads are exceptionally popular for preventing scrotum seam chafing and with the heat of the summer coming you wont wanna wear any more clothes than you have to!

Sexy Biker Boys in Kiel, Germany

Speaking of riding almost or completely naked, we are excited to be coordinating with our new friends putting on the EcoSex Symposium! Nature provides some pretty amazing backdrops and one of the best ways to experience it is via the human powered conveyance.
More from the front lines as these expansive engorgements develop!

May 18, 2012

Sneaky Seattle

We have had this show booked for a while, but all of the sudden its happening in just a few days. So, incase you haven't heard, we will be doing one of our final presentations of the Orgasm trail. The the 'choose your own bike porn adventure' with Bike Smut 4: Play and 5: Speed, taking inspiration from our favourite childhood computer game, 'The Oregon Trail'

Come on down and check us out. We know Seattle full vast distances of totally un-bike-friendly hills, so you might of missed us when we were in georegtown a few months ago. This time we wil be at The Center for Sex Positive Culture's venue known as The Wet Spot.

Sunday, May 20th

May 17, 2012

Penultimate SPRUNG!

no telling how long we will be able to get away with this...

enjoy and share as long as you can. Only two more Tuesdays in May, then SPRUNG! will be OVER!

Next Tuesday we are presenting:

live performance by Miss Steak 

and more Bicycle Pornographer's Alamanc

May 9, 2012

May 15th SPRUNG: Mutations

Queer has been redefined many times. It may be used as an adjective or a verb. Just like the word, we may redefine our gender and transform our bodies. Like our bodies, we can mutate our bicycles, creating new ways to explore our surroundings.

So what about queering transportation?

In the US, people who ride bikes are already considered weird (even in Portland). Exploring a subculture for sexual pleasure may be simple if you are part said culture, but to outsiders may seem totally bizarre.

For a thought experiment, imagine a bar with many people enjoying adult beverages. A motorist is trying to pick up on a cute cyclist is stunned when suddenly the biker takes interest in someone else.
"That person looks sweaty and dirty" the motorist might say, trying to dissuade.
"Yea! Sure does!!"

... and with that the cute biker has moved on and the motorist is left wondering what planet this is. Everything is wrong. The motorist has better style, more grace, expensive hair product… everything we are told will attract a mate… everything but the cultural understanding of said subculture, in this example the simple practicality of convenient independence that come with moving your own ass. It seems perfectly normal to those of us who live it, but to the rest of the world we are freaks!

Moreover mutant bikes are a queering of normal bike transportation.  These freak-bikes are just that, for the purpose of being that. No other term applied, because what do you call something that belongs to multiple classes at the same time? You look at it and are stumped. Imagine the first biologists who came upon a duck-billed platypus? Imagine the well seasoned commuter who can do nothing but gawk upon seeing a tall bike for the first time.

Moreover as we become more comfortable with these expanding definitions we might feel we are capable of categorizing them and defining them only to find that someone/something else escapes our world view of sex or bikes. A tall-tandem-swing-burrito bike might not exist, but for how long? If you think you are "queer enough" then how will you react to someone pushing your limits further?

Normalization of this other-worldly culture is a concern for many who feel they have been able to contribute to a culture, and feel proud of being something exclusive. When biking is already seen as an "other" our options seem so limited. Either we put on a yellow jacket and follow every traffic law we can imagine in order to fit in, or we choose to stand out (and there is no telling what laws you might choose to follow)

This might be particularly obvious when in the company of others to whom we consider "normal". Either we draw attention to our differences or might try and avoid shame by distancing ourselves from similar outsiders that bike:
  • "I ride almost every day and I would never get on... that."
  • "I may ride my bike in traffic but im not that crazy to get on a tall bike."
  • "I may enjoy sucking cock but i certainly wouldn't suck my own!"
This Tuesday we present one of the best made and most appealing FTM hardcore pornos you will ever see! You can be a straight male and imagine that Billy Castro's dick is your phallus, or a straight female and dream he is working your cunt... or you can be gay and know that a person born with female sex organs is able to fuck those girls as well as any man... or you can be politico-queer and know that the gender we choose is more important than how we are born, and everyone can enjoy that all these different people can apprecaite something together in public that would never have happened just 10 years ago.

You won't have to suck cock, not even your own, but if you can, kudos! (talk to us later)

Main Feature: Billy Castro Does the Mission (2010) 
Director: Courtney Trouble

Courtney Trouble is one of the Bay Areas first and finest queer porn icons. She started her online porn site, in 2002 and has been exploring porn beyond gender binaries ever since. She has been awarded 4 Feminist Porn Awards and has been nominated for 3 AVN awards, known as ‘The Oscars of Porn’. Billy Casto, one of the worlds hottest FTM porn stars, was cast to star as part of Courtney Trouble’s ‘Muse’ Collection. ‘Billy Castro does the Mission’ is pretty ‘self-sexplanitory’. Billy Castro is in San Francisco’s Mission District after his bike is stolen. From there he ends up on 4 separate sexcapades in one day trying to recover his lost love.

Bike Smut loves Courtney Trouble and thinks she has done great things for porn. We love that a bike is the catalyst for Billy’s fuck fest. We also wanted to show one of her past films because Bike Smut 6 will feature two brand new, totally bikesexual creations by her.


Live Performance by Fatha Green:  Singer, dancer, and comedian Fatha Green represents the consummate live performance artist. But be careful you dont fall for him, just because he looks like he is making love to the audience doesn't mean he will consummate with you that easily!
A Bike Pornographers Almanac: "Times they are A-Chainring" edition
Topical selections from past Bike Smut programs:  Freak Bike Fall (2010), Das Randy Radfahrers (2011) Exerts from our other favorite queer porn director Luke Woodward's - Tour de Pants (2010)

SPRUNG! presents Billy Castro Does the Mission by Courtney Trouble
Tuesday May 15th
Clinton Street Theater

$7, 18+

May 7, 2012

Bike Smut 6: Deadline Extension

Thats right! The Deadline has been EXTENDED. 

Liberty Sprocket


Rev Yeah!
Just when you thought it was too late to think-up/shoot/edit the bike porn of your dreams...We thought we would give you a bit more time. In the words of one of our favourtie bike pervs, F*bomb, you are all "flakey like a buttermilk biscuit." So, we thought you might benefit from an extra month to finish up all those bike-sexual fantasies and get them in our hands!

We have even got two barley legal, budding bike-sexuals to help remind you! Thank you Liberty Sprocket and Rev. Yeah! You are really turning our wheels!

PLUS, We just couldn't resist all the sixes! 
(Bike Smut 6: Due on 6/6, tada!)

So now you ask, "But Bike Smut, how do I send you my totally stupendous bike-sexual creation?"

All the info you need is right here

No excuses this time. 
Let your inner bike pervert out to express themselves.

Sprung! again: May 8th - Power

Tomorrow (May 8th) will be our second installment of Sprung!

The theme is Power

Here is what we have to say about that:

It affects every relationship, whether it is with close friends or authorities. It can be used for or against you, for good or evil. We strive to maintain control of it in our own lives, and the ability to  choose when to give it up. Power is also inherent in how we harness energy. Being able to act on ones desires of what we ride and who we ride.

So considering the power that the 'church' (catholic or otherwise, but the catholics have a long reputation of shoving their beliefs down your pants) yields over our body, especially women's sexuality.. We thought we would show the wonderfully light-hearted Monella by Tinto Brass

It's a charming little tale about a young couple in 1950s Italy. They are engaged, but Lola has had enough of saving herself for marriage (she is HORNY!) plus, she wants to make sure her man can satisfy before they take the plunge!

Full of pervy priest, double standards and daddy issues, it plays with a plethora of power dynamics. Tinto Brass, known as 'The King of European Erotica' worked in avant-garde film up until the mid 70s when he made the leap to erotica. His erotic films are still full of experimental techniques and lots of ass shots. (He was a notorious ass man). This, however, might have been what inspired him to make one of the sexiest bicycle scenes in cinema history. If you want to see it, you will have to stop by!

May 8th
Clinton Street Theater
($5 with the pasword, tweeted Tuesday afternoon. Follow @bikesmut )