December 30, 2011

and now we know...

Details just in for Tucson, AZ!!

Wednesday Jan 4th
657 W St. Marrys. Unit c6

With special guest performance by
Whiskey Breath Burlesque
show starts at 8pm
$5 suggested donation

Group Bike Ride @7pm. 
meet at Occupy, Church and Congress

December 29, 2011

double blind porno study

Tucson! Jan 4th Thats all we know! with that much info, would you go to the show?

December 27, 2011

Portraits of a Pedalphile - Part III “Trikers”

Hate might be a strong word, but scorn might be too soft for our dear friend Merv as he attempts to describe how much cooler his mini bike is than those ridiculous tricycles.

Was this a backlash of pot labeling kettle darkly pigmented? Another example of transportation minorities keeping other transportation minorities down. To which there is only one proper response.

December 25, 2011

Touring the Texas Triangle

We have spent the past couple weeks meeting all the amazing bike-sexuals and other fantastic weirdos we can in the great trinangle of east Texas. (Houston, Austin and San Antonio). And we would like to thank everyone who has helped us out. Whether it was setting up fantastic shows, putting roofs over our head, or inviting us to xmas, we are truly grateful.

Like aloha means hello and goodbye, we think 'Howdy' can can work the same. With great sadness we have to say "Howdy for now" as we announce our final show in east Texas. Lucky o'l' San Antonio will do the honors.

Tuesday, December 27th
1116 W Mitchell St

Bike Polo @ The Slab before hand. 8pm, Probant & Cevallos
$2 pints at Boneshakers all night &
super delicious pizza. yum!

Hope we get to come back soon, y'all!!

December 23, 2011

Thought You Knew, ride a fucking bike!

Last week we reviewed the very straightforward Bike Taxi Babes calendar.

This week we go from the steamy southwest of Austin to brisk northern breeze of Chicago for our (we think) final people posting with bicycle calendar of 2011!

Bike Smut loves Chicago. Chicago is home to one of the last strong Critical Masses in the states. We got good peeps there and they have been doing great things for many years, before most people knew about fixed gears, polo or naked rides. (three things they still do extraordinarily well)

Introducing Thought You Knew a bike calender now in its 4th annual run.

Bike Smut, during its extended absence from North America, missed this year's fundraising cycle, but we wanted to include it just the same.

It is little surprise that the ladies who grace the calendars ride strong and stylish bikes, and in stark contrast to the very minimal Taxi Babes calendar,  Thought You Knew has got a lot of extra stuff.

TyK offers a robust website with lots of pretty images, backgrounds on the models, pictures of them in their pinup mode and in their street ware. Oh, and they got some pretty hump-worthy politics:
Cycling once freed women from the strict requirements of fashion, providing an excuse to untie their corsets and don bloomers rather than long skirts. The mobility that a bicycle brought to those women was even more empowering.
TyK’s pinups draw on that same tradition of empowerment through the personal mobility, while also letting women find confidence in the ownership of their sexuality. The experience of being the center of attention during their photo shoot does not fade when the lights go down and the hairspray washes out. Each woman carries her pinup self with her wherever she goes, into board rooms or bike shops.

Its been a good Calendar season. If you haven't ordered by now, you might be able to get a discount or you might be shit out of luck, or maybe you will just have to find some fun loving friends and a camera and D I the fuck Y.

December 19, 2011

The Lone Star gets Porn Stars

The last time we were in San Antonio...

After a super sextastic show in Austin on Sunday, San Antonio has stepped up to the Orgasm Trail challenge! Boneshakers Bicycle Pub has invited us to do a show tomorrow night and supplied us with great art to boot!

Tuesday, December 20th
1116 W Mitchell St
w/ $2 pints all night!

Portraits of a Pedalphile - Part II “The Thrill”

Please enjoy "King Tingle's" testimony about "his time" with a "fucking Huffy"

Thanks again to the entirely quotable Merv of Memphis and his handlers,

December 18, 2011

Austin's Forpaly Ride

A pre-ride to Austin's only screening of Bike Smut will meet at Plaza Saltillo (same spot as the TNSR) at 6p, ride stars at 6:30pm and ends at the film fest a little before 8pm 


ALSO presenting tonight with the story of her first orgasm is the very vocal Sadie Smythe, of the monthly Austin event,  Bedpost Confessions

Bring a lock, lights, basic tire maintenance tools, and some cash for drinks and donation.

Face Booking Action:

2906 Fruth Street
$5 suggested donation
with PopNoir SoundSystem  hosting a smutty dance party after.

December 16, 2011

BikeTaxiBabes - in depth

We just arrived in Austin and immediately were treated to local beer, tortas and our host's copy of the Bike Taxi Babes calendar.

In a word, simple. Possibly the most simple calendar we have ever seen. No flavor text, nothing about the model/pedicab driver/people messenger, no supplementary images in the corner,  no phases of the moon, no special dates of interest in Austin history.

here is what you get:

12 large, quality pictures
365* boxes with numbers
1 page explaining why**

Simple. As. Fuck.

Cant complain much when they do it simple and do it right, but in the name of fair and balanced bikeseuxal journalism we offer these two notes:

There was nothing exciting about the background either (a simple greyish gradient... er grayshient?).  We know first hand how challenging finding a dozen unique locations or backdrops can be, and if not done right... it can make a lot of hard work and good intentions look like a pile of stupid.

The biggest complaint offered by our team (you didn't know, we had an entire TEAM working on this analysis) was the curious makeup technique. Why so much white face? Was it old time antiquing? Flash back to a time when every bike race came with personal flour delivery?

On the whole, an excellent way to keep track of the days. Get your direct from

*there are lots of boxes, many have numbers you know what a calendar looks like
** The creators of the calendar, Dropout Publications a mainstay in Austin bike culture, made this calendar as a fundraiser for Texas Bike Collation

only days left in the race for bikesexual calendars; dont let the booty eclipse your wall!

photo credit to Ghostdad and Anomililly

December 14, 2011

Awesome in Austin

Bike Smut has visited Austin a couple times before, and we know it is full of tons of sweet sexy bikers. But never before have we seen community come together like this for us in Texas. Battling restrictive Texan laws and tightly booked venues, our Austin team has come surging through with totally 'awetim' (see what I did there?) event planning skills! Including, not one but two locally made posters!

Sunday, December 18th
2906 Fruth Street
$5 suggested donation
with PopNoir SoundSystem  hosting a smutty dance party after.

Pre-ride meets at Plaza Saltillo (same spot as the TNSR) at 6p, ride stars at 6:30pm and ends at the film fest a little before 8

Bring a lock, lights, basic tire maintenance tools, and some cash for drinks and donation

Need more face time, have some FaceBooking action:

December 13, 2011

Houston Encore!

Confession time. Bike Smut travels around via internal combustion engine. It's not something we are proud of cause we would rather be riding our bikes, but the combination of vast open distances, scheduling and hauling gear make the prospect of a long haul touring via bicycle seem near impossible.

Thus we have a car. Having a car means dealing with car problems, which are kinda like bike problems only way more complicated and WAAAY more expensive. (They also result in us bike folk saying things like, "that's why i love bikes" more often.)

One of the silver linings of car failure is that it gives you time to reflect. During a breakdown we can't help but think,  "If I were on my bike I would probably have been able to diagnose and solve the problem by now." But after the minutes start dragging on we begin to let our minds wonder to other places and before you know it fantastic ideas have been sprung!

Our artistic director, Poppy Cox's first short movie for Bike Smut was created at just such a time in Northern Greece. Frankly we can't imagine a better way to spend out time than riding our fucking bikes.

A similar situation just transpired here in Houston! Facing terrible choices our crew of plucky adventeruers broke down and RTFM-ed all over the place. Low and behold we not only fixed a car but also got a last min Encore screening at a great bar in downtown Houston tonight!

Encore Houston Bike Smut
Tuesday, December 13th
314 Main Street

Be there or be stuck in traffic

last photo credit to ChrisGO

Portraits of a Pedalphile - Part I “Why Kids Bikes?”

Our new favorite filmmakers from Memphis have something extra cuts from their new movie, Confessions of a Pedalphile

 More to come soon!

December 12, 2011

Introducing Austin's Bike Taxi Babes

UPDATE - calendar release party Tonight at the Scoot inn, 9pm in Austin


You've seen the sexy girls AND boys from the Bike Saviours of Tempe, AZ bike kitchen -esce nonprofit AND the sexy JUST boys from PedalFresh, a Portland-based right-to-water organization.

Well we objectified girls and boys, then we objectified just boys... thats it right?


Well actually, even in this age of male objectification and liberation of gender altogether we can still take time to appreciate women's bodies. Sometimes even without drooling.

Thus it is now time for the fine-ass-hauling ladies of Austin TX get there chance to own our attention.

We dont know shit about Bike Taxi Babes. We dont know if they are actually employed as, as we call them, "people messengers" or if they are just PYTs posing with bikes. We would like to have the answers, but that would require doing the research. So until we find out (bother to write them an email) lets just cross our fingers and pray we too may get to enjoy the view someday soon.

International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

What happens when you take a Italian sex worker and find her in a Czech Republic gender fucking festival, in a Dutch bike punk kitchen in Berlin, and finally bring her some some inspiring porn to her London home in the swingingest queer bar in the UK?

Introducing one of our favorite Europeans,  Ava Caradonna!  As a biker, an activist and a sex worker Ava was a tireless supporter of our cause all over the continent.

She is a little nervous here but she speaks on an important cause: X Talk Project

Sex work is an important issue that, not unlike porn, makes people feel uncomfortable. Rather than feeling pity for "those poor people" we must take a more enlightened view of this occupation. As the video points out, many sex workers are undocumented foreigners who can't appeal to cops for fear deportation or worse. Take time to appreciate the oldest occupation today!

Connect with her via FB: Ava Caradonna

We don't care how liberating their wings are, Flying Toasters got nothing on this lady!

We hope to be able to remember a few more key people in the bikesexual revolution and will try to share their vision for a brighter future in the months to come. Thanks Ava, we miss your help in getting the audience bouncing.

December 10, 2011

WWC Loves / Hates Porno Revolution part 3

We love those folks in the Appalachians! They love bikes and they love sex and they expression and they love sharing!

sharing bikes sharing space
It has been just about a month since the students of Warren Wilson College outside Asheville, NC had to pile more than 30 people into a 10x10 room to watch Bike Smut. This obvious fire safety was made necessary due to the schools discomfort with our sharing of independent, DIY transportation erotica, some of which made by residents who were trying to share their rather mature ideas with other consenting adults.

Interesting they intervened with our local student supporters, then let other students use the WWC facilities to show how lame most porn is.
The film criticizes the way pornography, as one of the most profitable cultural mediums, promotes skewed sexual behaviors, particularly through sexism, racism, and violence. The film highlights how this behavior becomes practiced in the viewer of pornography’s private sexual life.
“We’re critical of the way an industry capitalizes and makes films for monetary gain. [Pornographic] films are affecting our sex lives, so in effect profit motive is affecting our sex lives by extension,” said Comstock.

We think its at least a step in the right direction that they are using their public space to talk frankly about sex, porn and the effects on our society. Too bad they couldn't see the forrest from the trees to accept that what we do is precisely that with the added bonus of actual manifestations of how we can DO IT BETTER!

As our former tourista/ and reigning Bike Smut Theoretician, Liberty Sprocket eloquently stated:
We believe that by riding bicycles we take control of our transportation, of how we move
across our communities and interact with them. Bicycles free us from the rigid boundaries of a car. By asking our community to make erotic films, we can help redefine obscenity, and free ourselves from the capitalist ideals of pornography. Bike Smut is about reclaiming agency over our daily lives and defeating the patriarchal appropriation of our bodies.

Be sure talk about it, but dont just talk. Unless you are ready to actually take your sexuality by the handlebars and steer the way you wanna go you are still just talking about getting on a revolution.


December 7, 2011

Gettin' dirty in The Big Easy

Friday will bring us to the playground of the south, New Orleans. Known for its relaxed attitude, great music scene and epic parties, we hope we can satisfy NOLA's taste for fun, freedom and a bit of smut.

Hosted by the wonderful DJ, man-about-town and known bike-sexual, Rusty Lazer. We will start off the night with our sexy bike films from 8-10pm. From there we take off into the "Night of 1000 Contests," where all are encouraged to 'B.Y.O.C' (bring your own contest) to the party.  Bike Smut has definitely had experience with that! 

Maybe we can take a few tips from our folks in Jacksonville too.
Jacksonville Zombies getting dirty with some Bike Chicken

We also have a couple sweet bands lined up and Rusty Lazer and Lady Bizness making sure everyone is dancing all night long!!

Friday, December 9th
2227 St Claude Ave
Bike Smut presents The Orgasm Trail

Houston and Bill Hicks on the Orgasm Trail

We have more than a few exciting shows in Texas. Last time we shared our sexy bike friends with the United State's 4th largest city we played a show with OG Southern rap star, BLOWFLY.
It was also a meeting for Houston's World Naked Bike Ride. This time we have no such amazing performers backing us up, but we do have an audience that wants to choose its own bike porn adventure!

More WNBR images from Houston Press (used without permission)

Catch the goods in our 1st screening in Texas in almost 2 years!

Sunday, December 11th
Supper Happy Fun Land
3801 Polk Street
with a special tribute to comedian Bill Hicks for his 50th Birthday

Fun loving Houstonians join in the "bare as you dare" World Naked Bike Ride/pub crawl. You may want to skip to 3:00...

December 2, 2011

Every Day is (bicycle) Hump Day

sweet new media story and art from Live From Memphis! Thanks!!

For years Bike Smut has attempted to break into Tennessee's parallelogramic borders. Promises from bike clubs that resulted in "a perfect shitstorm" have prevented us from breaching this elusive state. Was there some sort of sinister plot holding the would be bikesexuals back? Clearly, the city has a rich tradition of welcoming wet travelers, so being from the Pacific NW is no excuse. And tho many would claim that the sport of running cyclists off the road is more popular that cycling itself we are dubious that their trucks are that much larger than the ones in Texas, for example. (NOTE: while our experience of morning rush hour on the freeways outside Houston were absolutely terrifying, most surface streets were pretty relaxed.

But wait no longer, for we have not only a venue, but also a filmmaker in Memphis! Introducing  Corduroy Wednesday. Their new movie, Confessions of a Pedalphile always gets a strong response from the audience. Come and see the hometown heros work!

Bike Smut
Five in One
423 North Watkins
8pm Doors, 9:30 Show
$5 Donation

No breaks? Crack open a face book invite