October 29, 2012

Storm of Franken Porn!

presently we have amassed a pile of young, hot blooded adults to watch erotic bike movies.

What happens next may be beyond our control...

Turning TriXXX in Asheville

We are moving on in, inland that is. Into the Appalachian Mountains. With yet another underground screening, this time on the Warren Wilson College campus.

TONIGHT, Monday Oct 29
The Shit House on WWC

"Some time after 2 or 3 p.m., once sustained winds reach 30-40 mph, and it’s gusting over 50 mph, I would not advise going out. During Hurricane Irene, a number of lives were lost when people were crushed by falling trees - some in cars. You’re best bet will be to stay inside from mid-afternoon Monday through Monday night, and only travel if absolutely critical."

The show will be great if we can avoid being caught in the FUCKING STORM of the CENTURY....

October 27, 2012

Turning TriXXX in Richmond

YES! Our last Two fabulous shows have shattered the previous horror stories about screenings mid Atlantic.  It was so good in fact a veteran sex educator took time to write about it!
It makes perfect sense when you think about it: bodies in motion; the exhilaration of freedom; the stimulation of one’s senses while riding; the fit and flow of clothing by the rider; the positions of riding, peddling, mounting, and dismounting the bike (ahem… “mounting”); the rhythm of the legs and hips; and of course the way the seat presses provocatively against the rider. - read more on Dr. Ruthie's blog!

Both Brooklyn and Washington DC shows were full of hot bodies and both included TWO live performances from local artists. What a treat for us to see a community not just passively accepting our notions, but actively engaging and exploring their own bikesexual ideas via song, dance, photography and spoken word!

This unexpected success is giving us a whole a whole new perspective on finding the joy between our legs in places it never seemed possible! If the challenged venues in the nation's capital can enjoy it, than we might be able to bring two wheeled bikesexual liberation anywhere!

How about Richmond, VA? In the past we have marvelous screenings at the vaunted Byrd Theatre, but since their board of directors learned there was sex involved, Bike Smut has found a new more suitable, underground dwellings in RVA.

  Saddle Sores.xxx  presents
 Bike Smut 6: TurningTriXXX
Sunday Oct 28
@ MovieLoft (underground venue, email for directions or just ride w us!)    
7pm - group ride from Lamplighter - 116 South Addison Street
$5 Suggested Donation    18+

October 26, 2012

Turning TriXXX in DC

This sounds like so many great/terrible porno plots, but yes we are in the US Capitol tonight "serving the federal papers" if ya know what we mean...

FRIDAY, Oct 26th

Bike Smut 6: Turning TriXXX in DC

Presented by The Garden 


1359 H St, NE near Rock 'n Roll Hotel

8pm, $10, 18+

Thanks to Free In DC for the help pimping as well as all the sexy bikers who are gathering to make it happen!

photo credit to Michelle Nolan

October 25, 2012

Hot off the Strasse!

Just hours before we screen Turning Trixxx in New York City, We had our first ever screening at the 7th annual Porn Film Festival in Berlin! We already have two filmmakers who were in the audience there coming back at us with great reviews! Read them for yourself:


Miss Poppy, thanks so much, the screening was great!
I love your new movie, it was so lovely to see you both and then it was so hot too!! 
almost felt like fucking you live :)  miss you!
great setting, up on the -is it called a landing?
and fun and pretty -your bike could use some paint though ;)    and such smooth dialogue...
nice job!!!
oh my god, the bike wizard was so funny "thank you bike wizard, thank you....bike wizard, where are you?? -in the living room" hahaha
oh and those hot danish girls... wraw
my friends loved it too, her favourite was the one with the bike 'crash' and the "where do you live? -right there!" and bathtub fingerbanging :)
there was a lot of ooh aah and ouch! from the audience watching the bike mechanic fucking the spokes, also a guy moaning in a very positive way
also i met sophie there which was nice
unfortunately i have to spend the rest of the night filling in tax forms, but you inspired me to get up early tomorrow and go watch 'fucking different'
big kisses! xxx


I was at the Bike Smut show tonight in Berlin and it was fantastic. There were so much people that some must sit on the floor. The atmosphere was very good and we had much fun. Nobody left the show or was offended. The audience was openminded and they applauded to every screening even to my piece of artwork. After the show one guy asked me if i was the one in the film and he was very interested in what i was doing. I felt a little bit like a movie star and it was no bad feeling. I really loved the show and the creativity in the different films. Unfortunatly you could not be here in berlin this year but i followed bike smut on twitter and saw that your north american tour was a big success. I also wish you a great show in New York tonight.

Hope to hear from you and send you smutty greetings from Berlin


Thanks so much to everyone who attended. We do hope to be there in person next year. And if you felt inspired, please, send us a movie!

October 22, 2012

Media Monday: ReBirth of a Bikesexual Nation

Back in September we learned about how a new bikesexual advocate started the process of cycling became less painful and more pleasureful especially to one woman's yoni.


This time we go from the personal experience of how one person's crotch came to better know her saddle, to the shared experience of actually watching pornography together in a dark room with other consenting adults:
When I first saw Bike Smut 6: Turning TriXXX in late June, I swooned. It was my second time watching porn in public, in a theater full of people, and I was thrilled. Titillated. Energized. Inspired. I've already told you about 2012 being the summer I discovered my bikesexuality. Seeing Bike Smut as part of Portland's legendary three-week-long Pedalpaloopza extravaganza was most certainly a catalyzing element in my blossoming bikelove.

Read the entire bit of bike love here! She is talented and aware so peruse the other musings from Marissa Black here!

A bike of the 'Big Apple'

What's there to say about it? Songs have been written, movies made, poems composed. There is absolutely nothing that can be said or done about this city that hasn't already. It's full of taxis, rude people and an array of other cliches. The rents are astronomical, the roads atrocious, but apparently there is some magical pixie dust that makes it all wonderful and amazing, making sure everyone is full of nostalgia and romance for the place.... including us.

Illustration by Kurt McRobert

Great shows and fun (even if a little scary) bike times keep bringing us back. And with thousands of sexy people on bikes pumping their legs over the Williamsburg bridge everyday, how could we resist bringing the people of one of America's greatest cities great porn.  And while we may have been to NYC before, we still have an entirely brand new collection of movies that have never ever ever screened in the 'city that never sleeps' before

Join us:

Thursday, October 25th
Goodbye Blue Monday
1087 Broadway, Brooklyn, NY
$5-10 donation

October 21, 2012

This weekend is Internal-National Fisting Day

This is your annual opportunity to get your legs around some one/thing gentle, powerful and loving!

some are more open to public and pubic display than others

You may not have even known that we have an International Fisting Day. Its understandable, this is only the second year we have been able to observe this handy holiday. But your ignorance is more than understandable, its expected. If you make a porn with fisting you wont be able to find a distributor who will sell your DVD.  It all goes back to an obscure list of codes from decades ago, most of which is ignored with a few notable exceptions:

We NEED to see this activity, not only to support gay, bi & queer sexualities and the acts therein but also to show heterosexuals that it is an amazingly intimate, fun and ok act! We can watch two or more dicks in a pussy plus a plug in the ass and another dick in the mouth but we cant watch a hand in the bush?
 At fistingday.tumblr.com you can see and learn more about this depraved act of slow, gentle loving that is routinely censored

from your porn by distributors who claim they could be subject to fines associated with obscenity laws, even while they proudly promote movies depicting most if not all the non-fisting taboos from the list above. Yeesh!

Moreover, the political season is at a fervor. Even back in March when 65 thousand people descended on the Capitol building in Madison, Wisconsin!

We applaud these well lubricated pioneers, spread them cheeks and raise your fist in tribute today!

This link will provide a brief history of our connections to Madison,

Beth and Bike Smuts Excellent Adventure: Mo smut in Mo Town

After Chicago we drove to Detroit, making one stop along the way for a picnic. The drive wasn't at all that long, but by the time we got to the city we were exhausted. I don't know if any one has ever told you, but Detroit has insanely bumpy roads. That plus the fact that I had a rusty quick release culminated on my front wheel popping of as we were trying to find the apartment it was a cute, small apartment with two bedrooms. Luckily we had the place to ourselves as a friend of a friend was out of state. It was nice sleeping in a bad by myself for the first time in weeks. 
The Hub Bicycle Co-op

The next morning we went to The Hub bike community bicycle repair shop to replace my front wheel. After some general bike maintenance and wheel replacing we rode over to a local pub for a lunch of sandwiches. Later in the evening we met up with Amy Snell a previous bike pornographer who had made one of my favorite films last year. It was like meeting bike porn royalty, and we all went for drinks at a bar called The Bronx. There was an amazing, eccentric old lady working there who said fuck or shit after almost every other word, I so badly wanted her to join us for drinks, but alas, she had to work. After the bar, Poppy decided to make us some dinner, so we stopped by a grocery store to pick up supplies. The meal was delicious, and I happily started on the dishes. Unfortunately, thats when the night took a turn for the worse... or the more hilarious depending on how you look at it. I accidentally pepper sprayed the kitchen wall. I know what you are thinking and no I was not drunk or stoned. It was a total freak accident that ended up as being completely okay since the girl who's apartment we were staying in had previously pepper sprayed Amy Snell's kitchen ceiling. So in the end we just ended up laughing about it a lot.

My favorite bar tender. 

Revs tall bike is a rolling advertisement 
 The next day we went over to Amy's house and hung out there for a bit. After spending some time at Amy's drinking coffee and baileys, smoking cigarettes out the window and using her Internet (huzzah) we took of to the Cass city cinema where we were to have our show that night. We dropped of our stuff and left the van there as we took of for a bike ride. The night of our show also happened to be the same night as Dlectriciy, Detroits new nighttime, contemporary light and art festival. There was a bike ride where everyone light up the night with their many bikes lights and we rode around. Such a blast! We handed out flyers then headed of to the show to start setting up. The show went well and we gave away a couple of free sexy movies and vibrators to audience members who answered questions about the movies correctly. After the show a small group of us, including an old friend of mine who drove up all the way from Cleveland, Ohio, went to a party in a retro hip recycling plant. There were five bands playing, a smog machine, fun lights and some cute hipsters. Since it was cold I spent the majority of the night standing around the burn barrel but danced away the cold when this awesome punk band went on. 
SHARE DETROIT bike lights at Dlectricity.
Abandoned blue house

The next day was one of my favorites of the tour so far. We had a late morning with a home cooked breakfast and brass monkeys. Around two in the afternoon Amy, Rev, Poppy, Mark Fancy Pants and I rode of into Detroit on our bicycles. We took a lovely route through the city past some incredible street art and abandoned buildings. Our first stop of the day was to heidelberg street. Twenty six years ago a gentleman named Tyree Guyton founded the project by taking to the houses with a paint brush and a ton of cuddly toys. He transformed the street into a breathtaking art project by painting the houses and creating sculptures from ordinary every day house essentials. He also used cuddly toys, shopping carts, shoes (lots of shoes!) and a boat!  The whole thing was quite breathtaking.
                                              Here are some shots taken at Heidelberg street. 
 After Heidelberg street we took of on our bikes once again to explore more of the city. This time it was to an old abandoned Packard car plant. Gigantic dark stone buildings towered over us and broken glass and other debris littered the ground around our feet. We found a deserted hallway in one of the buildings to lock up our bikes in and proceeded to adventure throughout the multiple buildings. Fancy Pants still had a 40 of beer left over so we drank it as we climbed up to the top of the tallest building. Our goal was to eventually throw the empty bottle of the roof. It took some searching, but we finally found the stairs that led us to the roof. After exploring for a bit the sun started to set so we descended from what felt like the top of the world. We took five minuets to gander around an underground tunnel that was blacker the black when we turned of our flashlights, then we got back on our bikes and rode back in the direction of home.
                                                Pictures taken at the abandoned Packard plant. 
Steve Fancy Pants drinking a 40.
                           This was at the end of a dark tunnel, almost pissed my pants when I saw it.

On the way back, Amy remembered that some of her friends were having a BBQ at their work so we stopped by to meet some more people and hopefully eat some delicious food. And we did that exactly! There was music, beer and AMAZING BBQ pulled pork. We met a few new friends, had some of them ride the tall bike. After a few hours we decided to head out to the karaoke bar down the street, which we did. We sang along, drank a few more drinks and finally headed back home for some well needed rest. The next night we went to another bar where we met up with the end of a group ride. It was another fun and lovely night spent in Detroit. After spending almost a week hanging out it was time to hit the road again. This time it was to Canada! So we left in the early afternoon to begin our journey in the land of poutine, hockey and maple syrup!

           Here are some more photos that I thought deserved to be in this post, Detroit was so       beautiful I couldn't resist to post almost all the pictures I took! 
Awesome lighter that was gifted on our last night.
This guys pants weigh 40 pounds...seriously. 
Detroit Princess

Beth and Bike Smuts Excellent adventure: Getting windy in Chi-city. (kinda rhymes?)

We left of in Wiconsin 
Which was awesome, I might add.
And from there we traveled to The Windy City aka Chi-city aka The Big C.... or to call it by its more conventional nam, Chicago!

     First of all I would like to give a shout out to these three adorable cats. The fat one and the fluffy one belonged to our host, Steven, and the kitty in the cone was his ladies. Thank you for the cuddles guys!

Second of all... WOW! Chicago. Is. So. Much. Fun! the first day we got there was the 15 year anniversary of Critical Mass. Luckily our host, Steven, was also the ride leader. His apartment had been  turned into a print shop as they had made hundreds of anniversary Tshirts, I got one in salmon pink!

Critical Mass shirt! 

We met at the Daley Plaza at 5:30 pm. Same place, same time every month. As thousands of cyclists of every age, color and creed milled around we set out to tell people about our show the next day. After about twenty minuets of handing out flyers and making new friends the ride set of. With thousands of riders, it was hard to move very far and at certain points I was certain it would have been faster to walk, but thats the joy of Critical Mass. Its fun even when its frustrating and you walk/ride your bike when you have to with a smile on your face. The ride ended at an open parking lot/pit area with a giant mural on the wall by an artist called Roa. I took a bad quality picture that you can see below, but I suggest you click his name, its linked to his work and you will not regret it. 

Roa's work at Chicago CM

After critical mass, Steven, Poppy Cox and I got hot dogs from an all night cafe called Duks. We ate, we laughed and we sang along to Three Dog Night. Amazing end to an amazing night! 
Steven outside Duks. 

The next night was the show and also the annual slut walk. During the day we were a little too sleepy from the night before to make it to the slut walk, but we did however manage to make it to the slut walk after party. We got there with a few hours to go before the show and passes out fliers. Met some wonderful queer folk and introduced them to the world of bike sexuality. We left with little time to spare for the show but somehow managed to get to the theatre early. We were doing our show that night at a space called The Music Box Theatre.  The people trickled in and the show went quite nicely. It was a large theatre, so it seemed a little spread out, but overal we had a good turn out! 

Steven taking a tomato break

The next few days we spent time riding around the city, visiting new friends houses and dinner parties. I used a laundromat for the first time (huzzah!) and Poppy and I spent some time hanging out checking out local cafes and clothing shops. Overall Chicago was an amazing city, such lovely people and such a fun city to ride bicycles in! 

After leaving Chicago with some fond memories and another good show under our belts we set of for Detroit, Michigan. On the way we decided to stop of to see the sand dunes on Lake Michigan. We packed a picnic of sandwiches and vanilla lavender toffee and ate on the sand. Absolutely stunning. If you ever get a chance to check out one of the great lakes sieze it! 

                                     This is what we looked like when we went to Lake Michigan. 

Check in next time for all the crazy fun shit we did in Detroit. It inclues pepper spraying a wall, urban spelunking and not geting let into Canada!

October 18, 2012

Pappas got a brand New England bag!

We have reached the Bikesexual zenith! At least in a northeast geo-political sense. We will be able to explore any more Canadian Providences on this Tour de TriXXX. Thank you Toronto, Ottawa and Montreal. We hope our joyful expressions of bikesexuality will keep you warm all winter long.

But we may linger no longer. Today we turn South and begin the long, hard and sometimes throbbing road down to Mexico.

Tonight (Thursday the 18th)!  return to the US to run old glory up and down the pole. (if ya know what im sayin)
Thu Oct 18
The Firefly

200 main st. Burlington, vt
doors at 8pm
$5    18+  

Hey Paul, Forget the embarrassment of what happened when you put your sex tape online. There is no shame going on here. You can ride through every town, middle-sex and farm screaming "the pornographers are coming!" and no one will thing anything less of you for expressing your desires. Tomorrow (Friday the 19th) we travel to the original American capital of radical behavior:  
385 Centre Street
3 shows @ 7:30 9:15 and 11pm
$5  +18

Spread your legs and ride, we don't get no break! As long as there is a place where the fun is not between our legs we must strive to bring more joy and liberation to sex and transportation! The next day (Saturday the 20th) we press on to the smallest US state, Rhode Island, where we will decree ourselves sovereign, sexy and self powered in
Dungeon C in Olneyville
underground show, email libertalia401@gmail.com for address
$7 - no one turned away    adults only

The day after (Sunday the 21st) is kept sacred. If its porno, its polo, and if its not polo is some other ball and if we are playing with balls you are probably invited. We shall not travel further than necessary to deliver this powerful scripture of self-determined boundaries on obscenity. Not having to go to another city is almost a break because we are doing a second screening in
280 Broadway Room 200    
$7  - no one turned away    adults only

Whew! That's a lot of New England packed into 4-day weekend. Join us! Share us! Rejoice!