Blowing Down the Windy City

Tonight we tear out of Motor City and continue on our way home to Cascadia via Chicago.

Infamous Critical Mass provocateur, The Steven Lane will be hosting a delicious BYO BBQ prefunk on his rooftop before we take our group ride to the Viaduct.

• MAY 1ST, 2010 Chicago
• Viaduct Theater
• 3111 N. Western Ave
• 11pm $7 21+

If you know whats delicious for you, join the prefunk and ride to the show earlier in the day:

• 6pm BYO BBQ
• Castle Bikenstein
• 1551 West Chicago
• enter from alley

Or use the mass transit and hope that you have some good local company

Not getting arrested is great!

We were able to avoid being arrested for exploring abandoned buildings, although we did have to endure 2 hours of sitting around and doing nothing while the police asked us the same few questions dozens of times each. Some of us are pretty fortunate that we were not in Arizona, cause we didn't all have our papers

But since we didn't go to jail we are celebrating tonight!

• Tonight at the Hasting Street Ballroom
• 715 West Milwaukee Street
• 9:30pm
• $6 or $5 w/ bike or $4 w/o pants

Why bring Bike Porn to Detroit?

http://video.pbs.org/video/1409024983/

Because its fun!

24 hour Shore Leave

So we have been good littl pornographers and have played a show every night for the past 8 days, so we are treating ourselves to a day off!

We have a variety of options, including a pancake breakfast, community gardening, riding around in Columbus or Detroit or anyplace in between... but we might just sleep for a while.

Meanwhile the bikesexuals of Detroit are preparing for the coming onslaught. This tasty clip from Megan O'Neil:

Bike Porn rides over the established genres of porn and takes it down — or maybe up — a couple gears. With some clips intended to get you tuned up for where the road takes you later that evening, other segments cruise through more complicated issues of sexuality, sport and lifestyle.

Tanx! we think you are keen too!

This Friday night be at the Hasting Street Ballroom
715 West Milwaukee Street
9:30pm
$6 or $5 w/ bike or $4 w/o pants

Then to Chicago on Saturday!

Hey Columbus! Lets Discover Sweet Porn Together!

AHA, thanks to the PGH bikers who were able to steal themselves away to watch porn in public with friends and strangers!

Now on to Columbus, where it was 24 hours of showers last time we visited. The weather looks good enough we might even get a bike ride in!

4/28/2010 Columbus
Sporeprint
172 e. 5th ave.
7pm $5 suggested donation
Adults Only

photo credit to SmartyPantsMustacheMan who has a writeup on Columbus, the explorer.

Cock out, PGH out!

ahu my gawd how buffalo rocked! An overcapicity show with impromptu naked dancing during the show and subsequent broken doors of a bike porn blowout. What a crowd! People were yelling with so much passion. We like it when you get to experience loud bike sex.


Following another amazing naked dance party our team members were scattered to the wind. Staying in various historic halls, stately town homes, punkrawk slum mansions and one Valentina Rocket Van. This is still Buffalo, so even at the end of April it is pretty damn cold when the wind blows at 5 in the morning.

Thanks for the amazing everything.

Behold another day, another dollar (thanks to not getting short changed in Nickel City!)

Tonight, on to PGH! Thats how you shorten Pittsburgh, in case you didn't know

Tuesday 4/27/2010 Pittsburgh
Gooski's‎
3117 Brereton Street,
9pm $3-5 21+

digit!

Buff a Fello

This example of how easy a prostate exam can be is really encouraging. We all have heard the numerous health benefits from riding. Perhaps a heathy colon will be part of that?

Any amateur proctologists out there wanting to invest in some new technology?

Riding in the Buffalo

HeyHey we be back in the US(er)A

At least at the time of writing this posting we hoped the border guards didn't prevent us from crossing back into our country of origin. There is always the possibility that we were denied the right of return and now have excellent health care and more reasonable drug laws.

Monday, April 26th we are gonna run wild with the bikers of Buffalo

• Monday 4/26/2010
• Ol’Wondermoth Nickel City Coop
• 208 North St.
• 8pm $5 donation adults only
• possible bike ride following the show to sweet afterparty

Then our hectic schedule of playing a show every fucking night for over a week continues as we go to Pittsburgh on Tuesday!

3 cheers for CANADA!

Bike Porn is bringing it for three nights across the Canadian east side

4/23/2010 Ottawa
arthurs court
41 arthur st
8pm $5 donation adults only

4/24/2010 Montreal
Interstice
242 Young at the corner of Ottawa in Griffintown
Doors at 7pm, Show starts at 8pm (sharp!)
$5 to $12 sliding scale 18+
Bike Ride from Plateau, meets at Parc des Amériques (Rachel & St-Laurent) at 6pm, leaves at 6:30.


4/25/2010 Toronto
CineCycle
Coach House
down the lane behind 129 Spadina Ave.
on the east side between Richmond St. W. and Adelaide St. W., Toronto.
8 PM Door open 9 PM begin screening

Dear anonymous commenter, thanks for the address correction! this is so exciting, we have been looking forward to playing for ages!

All of our hosts in Canada have been completly wonderful. From a delicious Dim Sum breakfast in Ottawa to a homemade bike porn done just 12 hours before the show!

stunning! Tanx!! We hope to return soon!

New HUMPshire and VerMOUNT

Thanks so much to our great hosts in Providence and Boston! Who knew that fun loving bikers would be so much fun, even in historically puritanical, witch-burning MA? Alas, the harsh mistress that is the Backlash Tour has us enjoying but one more day in New England.

Like delicate fingers tracing a finely crafted handmade frame, so to are we creeping up the Atlantic coast, tickling the virtual base of America's headtube in Vermont and we are straddling the border to New Humpshire! (possibly fingering the lugs!) Soon we will be cresting around the big east coast Canadian biking cities of Ottawa, Montreal and Toronto... But first WHITE RIVER JUNCTION!

• Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound
• Thursday, April 22st
• Main St Museum
• 58 Bridge St,
• 7:30 doors, 8pm start
• $5 18+ byo delicious refreshments - share with other sexy bikers!

Then in Canada we hope that our hosts will provide unto us, a bike ride, polo (maybe a few times), more riding and lots of great people visiting from all over to make magic happen!


Photo credit to Courtney Rodgers

BushwickBK Reviews, Thanks to the Goods

We took a few extra days in NYC to enjoy the wild and crazy times. We mixed up with the local polo scene, visited a few watering holes, helped out at TimesUp a great bicycle nonprofit and on top of all that we had 3 great shows in Brooklyn! They were attended by one Mr Paul Cox of the Bushwick BK who seemed to rather enjoy himself:

Bushwick suits bike culture far better than its pitted streets and industrial traffic would suggest. At least, that is, the particular bike culture that concerns itself with tallbike jousts and carbon angst and calling itself “bike culture,” which springs up wherever there is a collective will to cobble together an old steel frame and stick a boombox on the back. We must bow to Portland, however, as the true capital of greasy chains, where the bicycle is elevated to a way of life, a tool of liberation, and an object of lust.

If we ever doubted that Portland cyclists are hardcore, they settled the issue last week with a wild Friday night of bike eroticism at House of Yes. Recognizing how humdrum bike carnivals, bike polo, and Critical Mass rides have become, the Bike Porn crew are reigniting baser passions around North America with their touring film festival and getting audiences to talk frankly about the sexual energy of human powered transport. The blending of sex-positive and bike-activist agendas is certainly attention grabbing, but the real surprise is just how turned on some people really are by their bikes.

Thanks for the kind words!

It is inaccurate, however to pin the sexy bicycle radness of Bike Porn entirely on Portland,

especially when films have come from other bike culture mainstays like NYC*, SF, and Seattle as well as more unknown gems such as SLC, Columbus, Tempe and Victoria BC.

*Note: NY did submit a film to Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation... a gruseome movie that should encourage us all to practice safe bike sex: "Bicyclamedia"

It was a great show and DAMN did we ever enjoy them blended refreshments!

Our most gracious thanks to The House of Yes and the Band of Bicycles.

Photo credit to Courtney Rodgers and and the bike-curious Mr Cox.

Baked Beans, Flava Beans, PORK AND BEANS!

Yup, Bike Porn gets to play Boston for the 1st time ever!

There will be bike polo, and group rides, and probably copious beer. (ouch, our kidney beans!)

• Wednesday, April 21st
• Brattle Theatre
• 40 Brattle Street
• 9:30 PM, Tickets $10; no one under 18 admitted.

Want more live, hot biker action? Try this Pre-Porn3 Ride!
Meet at Copley Square: 7pm
Connect with the sexy Bike Polo then over to the Brattle for the screening.
Heavy rain cancels ride.
http://www.truthserum.org for details/changes.
Inspired Attire Encouraged!

These guys have been so primed there will probably be some pre-ejaculate in the line outside the theater, so consider your footwear carefully, then get ready for the big show!

Riding hard in Rhode Island

Behold our third night in our 3rd state. It gets like that in New England, where as opposed to the large city-states of the pre-industrial ages, these states are small enough that they could be described as state-cities.

We make our way to Providence, Rhode Island!

Providence, the word itself so exciting: A distinction is usually made between "general providence" which refers to God's continuous upholding the existence and natural order of the universe, and "special providence" which refers to God's extraordinary intervention in the life of people.^[1]

While we don't claim to be divine (well some of us on tour do, but not all of us) we do this this is a pretty extraordinary thing going on... the ONLY screening in Rhode Island!

Alas we are not publicizing the location of the event due to concerns of annoying, state-sponsored terrorism coming and shutting us down. So we are going into the Bike Porn underground!

• Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound
• 4/19/2010 Providence
• 17 Mule
• 8pm $5 donation adults only
• A bike ride to the secret location meets at 6pm at Kennedy Plaza
• NEW! A "fuck bikes, pedestrians-only!" walk. Gather at everyone's favorite Mexican restaurant... La Lupita @ 1950 Westminster Street at 8:00pm. The ambulation begins promptly at 8:15pm
  

If you are totally not hip (like us, it seems) and have never been to 17 Mule before, just join us on the ride, or on the walk, or give a phone TEXT to the new improved Providence Bike Porn Hotline for location details:

401-954-6225

Did you catch that, this is now a text only number, suck it lan liners!

Tremendous thanks go out the the excellent Chainbreaker's Collective who did a fabulous job organizing our show in New Haven. Great venue, audience, a place for us to crash... everything!

Check out the great informative description (which, alas makes up 60% of all the content on their website):

The Chainbreakers is a New Haven collective made up of women, transgendered, and intersex cyclists actively building feminist bicycle culture in New Haven. The group gets together monthly to work on bikes and share skills, food, and time. Chainbreakers is based on the belief that working on your own form of transportation is empowering and fun, and it provides a positive alternative to male-dominated bike culture.

Pretty fucking cool eh? To the straight dudes who might take offense... if you want more women on bikes this is the kind of radical organization that could make your culture less of a sausage fest all the time.


Photo Credit to Courtney Rodgers

Sunday in New Brusnwick, Cunteticut

We have excaped NY! (we think... this msg was written in advance, so there is a chance something horrible happened)



Its gonna be an amazing show...

SUNDAY 4/18/2010 New Haven
Neverending Books
810 State St 8pm $5 adults
Group ride to show meets at the flagpole on the green at 7:00

come get some

Tonight in NYC!

UPDATE:
WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH THE PREMIERE PERFORMANCE OF A NEW YORK ALL GIRL BICYCLE DANCE TROOP!

TONIGHT! we are blowing the anus out of Brooklyn... gently... consentually even! So dont miss it!

• Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound
• April 16, 2010 8pm, 10pm and midnight
• House of Yes in Williamsburg
• 342 Maujer St.
• Take the L train to Grand
• $8, with live performances!

It was an awesome fun time. Riding bikes, playing games, dancing in the streets! Thanks NYC Polo and Times Up!


Its a steaming pile of bike love in the city that might want to sleep... soon... but not yet... , whack-off, dance-off, maybe with your pants... Off?

6pm Bike Polo ... in the PIT! (uh Chrystie and Broome Streets in the Sara D. Roosevelt Park.)

What you dont have a polo bike or mallet? Well if you come though we bet someone will let you borrow one... or if you have never played before check out the low-key polo scene in Brooklyn every Tuesday.





7pm Bike Town Motown Dance Ride
Tomkins Square Park, Manhattan

What you dont know how to dance with a bike? Well this 1st hint is free... practice smooth dismounts! then just dance NEXT to your bike. Dancing with a top tube between your legs limits your groove.






AND THEN Tomorrow
WHAT YOU'RE NOT IN New York? What gives? Why you reading this bullshit anyway?

Spilling the Beans in Boston

Behold, Boston has tremendous piles of Bike Love:

Thanks to Tom Meek for bringing the politics of sex and cycling to the masses. Here is a interesting sample:

If there’s been any knock on the tour, it’s the lack of gender representation. “Where is the dick?” a fan posted on Bike Porn’s Web site. To which they responded, “To be clear, we love all our bold women, but it would be great to see more men inspired to create and share.” But then again, according to them, many women have come up and confessed their bike-triggered orgasms, “and it’s usually when the saddle is really uncomfortable.”

True that, in fact a nice lady at a Brooklyn bar after a friendly game of polo was very forthcoming about her bike saddle.

"I never tell anyone this, but who are you gonna tell, but my old bike rubs me just so and good... and damn it just... it becomes too much. After an hour or so of riding im just too sore!"

Well now! That was strangely graphic for someone we just met... but its very comforting to see that the ideas of sexual expression can flow when you are thinking of the freedom of riding under ones own power. One of our favorite bike pornographers, Nicky Robo has been very forthcoming about how saddles create a mystical trips to the store...



Your opportunity to check out the shows in New England is coming up next week, 3 big shows!

SUNDAY 4/18/2010 New Haven
Neverending Books
810 State St 8pm $5 adults
Group ride to show meets at the flagpole on the green at 7:00

MONDAY 4/19/2010 Providence
17 mules
[CALL FOR LOCATION 503.913.9468]
8pm $5 donation adults only
Bike ride from Kennedy Plaza meets at 6pm

WEDNESDAY 4/21/2010 Boston
Brattle Theatre
40 Brattle St, Harvard Sq, Cambridge
930pm $10 18
Presented by Truth Serum.org

photo credit to Courtney Rodgers

Brooklyn Gets 3 Loads of Porn

How big is your apple?

CAUSE OURS IS HUGE!
and its only available in New York one night only

• Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound
• April 16, 2010 8pm, 10pm and midnight
• House of Yes in Williamsburg
• 342 Maujer St.
• Take the L train to Grand
• $8, with live performances!

We may have some special local acts for the 8pm show. Get tix now or suffer!

Help usher BikeSmut into the next generation of internerdical radness, PUT YOUR FACE UP IN OUR BOOK

Photo credit to Courtney Rodgers!

Phily is the City of Bromance

Soft pretzels, cheezesteak, massive mosaics, cracked bells, historical documents, horsey rides, naked bike rides... well its everything SOME people want, but you are gonna want to check out Philadelphia's only screening of this sexy bike on bike action.

• Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound
• Sunday, April 11th
• Le Philly Creme
• 5034 spruce st
• 8pm, $5 donation, Adults only

POWERFULLY HOT TIMES TO COME!

Photo credit to Courtney Rodgers. Expect more RVA Cycle Slaughterama pictures soon.

ReMembering ATL

Oh the Dirtysouth, such a monument to a way of life... simple, refined, graceful and yet, wicked horny. We have played the grand opening of bike shops, cavernous basements, majestic 1400-seat Victorian theaters, cramped living rooms, re-appropriated warehouses... all of it.

Atlanta, (the New York of the south, according to some historic art we saw in San Antonio) was closest to the latter. Massive rooms filled with sweaty bikers that had just completed a grueling city wide allycat race (with one of our team members coming in 4th place in a field of 40... on a single speed mt bike). And of course lots of alcohol.

The pictures might not do it justice, paticuralrly as there are no pictures of empty condom wrappers or anything, but for sure it was an exciting night down south

Photo Credit to Laura Colbert and Courtney Rodgers





Like sexy grains of sand falling thou a voluptuously curvy hourglass so to are these are the bike porn of our lives.





AND WHAT IS THIS? Only one month until the deadline for Bike Porn 4: PLAY!

Make inspiring works of trashy bike love today!






if you dont you will have to suffer through this ATL bike polo stallion perpetually flipping you off for all eternity

Bikes and sex, what a Capitol idea

This just in, the nation's capitol DOES love porn! We have been struggling for some time but now it is on! Be there early to get a seat, or if you are in Baltimore just buy one in advance.

• Wednesday April 7th - Baltimore, MD
  
• Sugar
• 927 West 36th Street
• 8pm
  
• +18
• $10
• entrance in the back

• Thursday April 8th - Washington DC
  
• The Trusty Roomie
  
• 3567 holmead pl nw 20010
  
• 9pm
  
• Adults only
• $5 No one turned away
  

• Friday April 9th - Lancaster PA
• Meet Market
  
• 448 N Market St
• 8pm
• $5, no one turned away
• 18
• Open "Bike" Mic: bring a story or poem about bicycles
  

We are told we have a show Sunday in Philly. Catch us if you can!

Otherwise you are gonna be suffering like Spidy.

Who gets it? Not the District of Columbia...

"What? There are showing it in Baltimore and not in DC?!?"

Yup, even though we started trying to find a place months and months ago and had various connected people pulling for us to make it happen, but apparently either the burlesque places said it was too risque, or the art houses said they weren't "into" bikes, or friggin porn theaters didn't even get back to us! Yeesh!

Anyway as it stands there are only 30 people who will get to watch bike porn in Baltimore or DC cause we are playing at a totally rad, but fairly small space.

Get your tickets now!

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/106246

or show up in person and have your fingers and fruit crossed that Sugar we are not sold out

• Sugar
• 927 West 36th Street
• 8pm
  
• +18
• $10
• entrance in the back

get your tix now, or suffer.