August 30, 2012

End of the Summer

WARNING this post contains seriously gross video content


Lordy we love us a proper Cascadian summer. With tall bikes, beach parties, endless craft beer, loads of safe sex, and every grasshopper gallivanting around like it will never end.

this ain't no bunny hop contest

But the summer will end.

Tragic, but necessary. Otherwise Cascadia becomes a perpetual summer like Southern California and when you have great weather all the time you can't appreciate it.

Well we totally appreciate the summer, now more than ever since our founder, Reverend Phil's leg had these compounding issues:

A) a 4-yr old spiral compound fracture of the tibia
B) thus a plate and 17 screws beneath taunt skin from the surgeries
C) a moderate ankle sprain while attempting a tall bike sexual mount July 30th
D) acupuncture on a jousting injury and a nonchalant poke in the ankle's tendon
E) vising a dusty warehouse and Willamette River hours after breaking the skin
F) an incredibly painful staff infection
G) the possibility of a further infection of the plate, screws and bone
H) an impending international tour of the US, Canada and Mexico

UPDATE: Here is more totally gross content, the puss running like a river. This lasted several minutes and soaked through multiple towels and pooled up on the tile below.


We hope we can start walking and Fall-ing soon!

Illustration credit to  I.W. Graber via Mary Mapes Dodge via katinthecupboard

August 24, 2012

Dead Baby Downhill Video Recap

Bikes! Babes! Bands! Beer!


From plentiful beer to hawt biker girls dancing in the streets to tall bike wrestle/jousting to not possibly not waking up in someone's puke at dawn, the Dead Baby Downhill has a lot of things going for it! We are proud to see so many of our friends taking part and making it better.

Seattle can be a little stuffy for a Northwest city so its great to get them to get down and dirty for a spell.

Join us next time the 1st Friday of August in 2013!

August 21, 2012

You wanna Ben Dover!?

Bike Smut is playing in Oregon for the first time on the leeward side of the Cascades!

Long have we traveled great distances from our home. With Mexico looking more likely by the min we soon will have conquered North America as soundly as we have Europe. But only a few Oregon towns outside Portland have ever experienced our radical bikesexual lore.

But we are changing that immediately. For on our way east to appease the hoards of ever more hungry bike perverts we will deliver our steamy package to one sleepy town in Central Oregon.

A town called Bend.

Be there to witness the final screening of Bike Smut 6 in Oregon! From there we continue east to Salt Lake and on to Colorado!

Thursday, September 6th
Tin Pan Theater
869 NW Tin Pan Alley
7:15 and 9:15pm
$7      +18

August 14, 2012

Bikes in Babeland

It is HOT in the Northwest!

....and it just got a bit hotter here at Bike Smut headquarters when we found out Babeland Toys will be sponsoring our Seattle show!

Babeland has been Seattle's #1 totally awesome, sex-positive, female-friendly sex shop for almost 20 years. In 1998 they went bi-costal, opening up shop in NYC too. Here at Bike Smut we adore what they do. Babeland is committed to creating a welcoming and sex-positive experience to all genders. In turn, this helps to redefine obscenity and bring better sexuality to their community. 

Look there is even a bike in their Seattle storefront pic! 
To top off Babeland's bike-sexual awesomeness, it just so happens that two of their sex educators are partaking in the Climate Ride this September. Ashley Allen and Megan Collier will be riding their bikes 300 miles to raise money for organizations that are committed to finding sustainable energy solutions, and promoting cycling and environmental causes. You can find our more about how you can help Team Babeland here.

So, don't miss your chance to see Bike Smut 6: Turning Trixxx at it's first show away from Portland, this Sunday the 19th at 20/20 Cycles. Not only will you get a night of bikesexual, feminist porn, (including a film from a Seattle local filmaker!) but one lucky attendee will also be walking away with some awesome eco-sexual products from Babeland!

See you there, Seattle!

August 11, 2012

Turning TriXXX in Seattle!


When the heat of the city boils the streets and your tires resulting in a forced marriage of rubber and tar it's summer.

Cascadia in the summertime feels pretty magical. Packs of friends cruising around between shows or gatherings while other packs are sprinting through a turn in graceful formation. The seemingly limitless potential of every night give a sense of excitement you can taste as every opportunity to stop and post up on a bench or bluff yields new choices as groups interact and share bikers like so many positively charged atoms would share electrons.

Seattle, get your covalent bondage on!

The Seattle premiere is coming up quick and includes "The Bike Wizard" a hardcore threesome with snappy editing, hilarious dialogue and expressed consent. Directed by local queer porn star, Jessie Sparkles!

Bike Smut 6: Turning TriXXX
Sunday, August 19th
20/20 Cycles (20th and Union)
Doors at 7, preshow at 7:15, show at 7:30
$10,   18+

Come get some magic at our final 2012 screening in Cascadia!

August 4, 2012

Pedal to Pleasure on Tour with CineKnk

This Sunday CineKink comes to Portland! Normally it is DIY erotica along the lines of Bike Smut without the bike, but this year Bike Smut is proud to have our very own @MissPoppyCox doing some of her best work riding her bicycle, Mademoiselle Margo all over the town of Katerini Greece  and out to a lonely field. Flush with her body's independence she takes a break to enjoy the scenery, and then some!

We are proud that CineKink has chosen to include Pedal to Pleasure in with their Best of 2012 touring program. This a very explicit movie; during the Orgasm Trail Tour even the most timid audiences were howling for more. That tour has since concluded so this will be your final opportunity to see Pedal to Pleasure!

Sunday, August 9th
Clinton St Theater
SE 26th and Clinton
Kink & Kinship at 7; Best of CineKink 2012 at 9

For nine years these folks have been gathering some of the best alternative, underground porn. This article from the Mercury has more info, or better yes check out their website

August 1, 2012

Bikini Bike Wash

Bike Smut is proud to announce we are sponsoring an afternoon of cleanliness.

The Bikini Bike Wash is a fundraiser for Portland's 2013 World Naked Bike Ride!

Friday August 17th
Burgerville parking lot
Southeast 12th and Hawthorne
4pm to 8pm
Facial Book

Why does the WNBR cost so much money? Well for the first 5 or so years it was run successfully with almost no money to support it, just a dozen or so volunteers who gave their time to the em-betterment of the city.

But since then our naked members have swollen in size! There are thousands of people who attend each year! All those people will need a location to gather. The permits, the bathroom, the negoations with police and fire... its all an impressive amount of work and it is still all volunteer driven.

We would love to be able to ask the 1000s of naked bikers who show up to each give a dollar or two and then we would be able to cover our costs completly, but if you have never asked someone without clothes for money its a somewhat humorous situation. No clothes means no pockets and no pockets means no where to put any money!

This is your call to help support this fantastic event! If you want to help us by either being a scantily clad washer of bikes, if you have a donation of rags, sponges, cassette cleaning tools and the like please get in touch with us!