Freaky good because:
- There are many freak bikes
- There are many freak bikers
- There are many opportunities to mosey around with your pants around your ankles (if you were moving quickly it would be streaking, but sometimes we choose to go so f'n slow)
At this time it is not known if the Dead Baby Bicycle club has a unstated agenda for limiting the numbers of tiny humans. Could their agenda for infanticide be hidden in plain sight? peculation for why they are called the Deadbabies:
- raise an army of zombie babies (seen below)
- less competition for limited resources
- freak out the squares
- confound the circles
- cheer them up since all the good bike club names were already taken
- demonstrate their brutality
- enrage the xtian right
What is known is that on the 1st Friday of every month the Dead Babies have their monthly ride. Anyone on a bicycle can join and lots of people ride mutant bikes. It is fun! On the 1st Friday of August they host the Dead Baby Downhill. A race though the city to "the greatest party known to human kind".
But that, dear readers is just Friday night. Take a moment to understand what it means to your body to abuse it for an entire 72 hours.
KEEP WAITING JERKFACE!
YES! We are using white space to try and impress upon you the magnitude. This is the Dead Babies' 13th annual weekend of extraordinary bike danger/stupidity/sexiness/fun. This blog may have some gaps in its logic, but that is nothing when compared to the future gaps in your memory.
Lucky for you we have this handy list of activities!
- 6pm Modest binge drinking at the Comet Tavern and Exhibition bike polo next door @ Cal Anderson Park.
- 7pm race across Seattle with great indifference to human life (See possible motivations for Deadbabies above).
- 8pm enjoy endless quantity of beer. (cause you registered, right?)
- 9pm pass out in a pool of (hopefully) your own body fluid, unaware that bands and performances have begun.
- 11pm wake up in time to stumble into the path of the tall bike joust finale.
- 12am released from hospital with mild concussion and critical tongue lashing.
- 1am remember that ticket they gave you at the start is redeemable for BBQ food
- 2am with new found energy and confidence (and maybe a helmet?) you find yourself riding on a pedal powered amusement park ride courtesy of Cyclecide.
- 3am Unsure about how you got there you decide to passout in stranger's hot tub.
Stay tuned for our predictions about Saturday and Sunday events!
photo credit to dennyt
Little Black Box
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