Denver-Only DIY Bike Porn Micro Fest

This coming week will be a 1st for us at Bike Porn Industries. Local organizers of the upcoming screening in Denver have thrown down the well lubricated porn gauntlet to its own community. Watch some porn, but dammit you can MAKE YOUR OWN PORN TOO!

Here is the call for entries:

Call for submissions! DIY Bike Porn contest! BIKE PORN ZINE!

Ever wanted to be a pornstar, but couldn't tear yourself away from your beloved bike long enough to film anything?

Next Saturday, not only do you get to come to a fabulous screening of not one, but TWO films about bike porn (both collections of shorts by various artists exploring the theme of bike porn), BUT ALSO, you (and your bike!) get the chance to be a star!

Bring us your DVDs containing a 6-minute-or-less homemade (i.e. original!) clip of whatever you think is bike porn. This can be anything from creative videos of sexy bikes in motion, all the way to…well, your imagination is as good as mine. Pretty much anything goes, just be creative and sexy, however you define that… and obviously within reason (i.e. probably not a good idea to have a video of yourself or a buddy doing anything too illegal!) Try to get it in .avi format or anything else that will play in either Windows Media Player or QuickTime.

Clips will be screened before and after the screening of the second Bike Porn film, and we will come up with some way of determining who among the contestants deserves a fabulous prize! DVDs will be returned to contestants, and copies will *not* be permanently kept by anyone associated with the organization of the Bike Porn screening (unless you want them to be!)

Bring your best efforts to:
Bike Porn screening
Saturday, October 18th
show starts at 8, try to show up a little earlier if you're bringing stuff
Orange Cat Studios
2625 Larimer St., Denver
Show is open to anyone 18+, even if you're not bringing submissions for the BYO Bike Porn contest.

P.S. These don't have to be super-duper polished or video-edited or any of that stuff. Remember, it's supposed to be DIY! You can go to bikesmut.com for ideas and inspiration. Any kind of bikes and (consenting adult) humans, toys, puppets, animation, stop-motion animation, or whatever you kids are into, are par for the course. Heck, we'll even take some stills or slideshows if that's what you've got.

Have fun!

But wait a minute, you may be saying – I love the idea of creating my own Bike Porn and sharing it with my community, but I don't do video! In fact, I don't even own a camera! I draw, write, and paint! How can I get in on this marvelous opportunity to celebrate the sexiness of bikes as a community? Don't worry - we're putting together a companion zine for the show! Send us your photos, essays, essay-snapshots, drawings, flash, cartoons, xeroxable collages, poems, diagrams,
stories, instructions for DIY sex-toys-made-out-of-bicycle-parts, etc. Photographs can either be "screened" or incorporated into the zine, or both, you decide. We need them by Thursday at 11:00pm. Yeah, I know that's a really short notice for a zine submission… but that's all the
time we got to work with unfortunately. Do your best. I'm sure you've already got some random pictures lying around of some night when you and your girlfriend and your bike got shitfaced and went crazy. No? What's wrong with you then?

ALSO – if anyone (especially if you already know what the hell you're doing when it comes to zines) wants to volunteer to coordinate this little zine project, or even just offer some assistance, PLEASE step up! (I mean come on, if you already do zines anyway, how can you NOT want to get in on something like this? Bike Porn, man!)

Questions, suggestions, zine submissions, offers of help, etc.: talk to Owen at WNBRdenver@gmail.com (FYI, this event and any associated activities are in no way associated with the Denver World Naked Bike Ride; I just don't have time to go create another email address…)

Inspiring. As stated before, this has never been done at a screening to date. We hope it starts a democratizing trend that sexually liberates bike fuckers the world around.

Tall Bike Porn Finals Tonight!

Check out this awesomeness:



Our friends at SaltCycle say this:

The Tall Bike Jousting Finals have been moved to Franklin Covey Stadium North Parking Lot 1182 SW Temple due to better lighting conditions. Same time - 7:45p different location. The Gymkahana will still be at Jefferson Park.

Find out where the tall bike jousting finals and the rest of tonight's events will happen.

Hope this alleviates any confusion. Git yer sexy bikes and selves to the Stadium!

Sexy, Sexy SLC

Here in the land of 2 for 1.50 tacos we have basked in the joyus nature of Salt Lake City. All the bikers we meet are interesting if not drunk and hilarious.

This is the kind of weekend bicycle pornstars are made of...

• Thursday, October 9th: Char-Riot races, tallbike jousting and groundbreaking program, The Pornography of the Bicycle is screened, perhaps for the last time in SLC
• Friday, October 10th: Gymkahana, tall bike jousting finals and the new Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation featuring 4 movies from Salt Lake City Including
  


• Borbachev Sexbot
• Bicycle Flog My Monster
• Ali Blu's Hemotoma
• Lit Crit

We demand that all of Salt Lake UT sexy bike fuckers come down to Point Six Percent Productions to join in the fun.
Activities begin at 7pm, movies at 8:30
1130 richard street (park in back)
18+ only.
$5

Boise to Pocatello

Monday night the happy go fucky bike humpers made boise scream for more

Tuesday we are heading to the Powerhouse in Pocatello! (we think that could be the best named city on this tour)

Tuesday 10/7
8:30 pm

The Powerhouse
750 W. Wyeth,
Pocatello, ID 83204

Idaho has some exciting laws re: pornography. lets keep this between us.

image from the fine people at Saltcycle.com thanks guys!

Bike Porn Fights Evil Crime

This guest post written by an anonymous crime fighter:

Thursday Oct 2nd, as the plucky bicycle pornographers set up shop at the Hollywood Theater a lady cried out in despair.

"Help! Help! That guy stole my bicycle! Help!"

Like a drugged cat I sprong into confusion, my eyes wide with excitement as something crazy was happening and i wasn't sure what. Peering across the street we saw Toni Russle, a middle aged, toe-headed beautician running on the north sidewalk of Sandy Blvd screaming and running as fast as she could (not all that fast) after a guy on a blue bicycle (strangely he was also not going very fast)

"Stop him he stole my bike! Help! Stop Him!"

So we got to our bikes and I immediately dropped my keys. Then could not get them in the lock, then dropped them again. That was when I was planning on giving up, but as i turned around to look at their progress it seemed they had only gone about a quarter-block. So after a few more tries i was able to get it. By then my friend had already gotten to his bike and was in pursuit. I followed as best as i could, that is to say I kinda decided I could take my time, besides I thought my friend could handle it.

Sure enough he did. About 10 blocks later the thief had encircled the entire block and was now heading heading west to Sandy blvd. He nonchalantly rode the on the southside sidewalk unaware that (almost) two able bodied crime fighters were in (kinda) hot pursuit. My friend caught up to him and collared him down right in front of the Hollywood Liquor store. "How convenient," we thought. It's like dinner in a bottle and a movie." We do appreciate a nip of whiskey with our evil crime fighting.

We had him pretty well detained. And decided to call the cops to let them deal with the punk kid. "Why did you steal this bicycle?"

"I needed a new bike." he said simply.

I called 911 which takes you to an answering machine that asks you if you meant to call 911. This seems kinda smart, but really it was a little distressing being on hold.

The cops were confused by directions but eventually made it on to the scene. When they do finally show up they sent 3 cars. I felt kinda safer.

Immediately the cop cuffs the thief then as soon as he is done, realizes he has a backpack on and uses his knife to cut the straps. My friend and I both flinch at this, but say nothing.

We return the cops to the Beautician who comes in for the show. She is overwhelmed and because he is some "crazy mixed up kid" at the tender age of 17, she decides not to press charges.

Maybe someone would like to tell us about the value of calling the police vs just beating the snot out of a punk who has only a sliced backpack as a warning of why he should not steal bikes.

Thanks, crime fighting friend. We wonder too.

The Worlds Fastest G-Bike

This past fall our team sponsored a trio of gravity bikers. These three plucky Zoobombers: Chuck Bridge, Aaron Truman, and Gabe Tiller raced among the worlds fastest on 2 wheels. Moreover they came away from the IGSA world championships with the 2nd and 3rd place trophies! While we are very proud of their accomplishments, we are not about to add to their inflated ego. Instead we are sharing these exclusive photographs of the 1st place g-bike.

The world champion explaining how the tire ware viable on shows a pattern of turning that leaves only millimeters before the tire eclipses the maximum turning angle.
A bolt on rear triangle allows the rider to change the geometry of the frame to improve top speed or cornering.


the worlds fastest bike?

"Westward Ho" Bikexploitation tour

The Westward Ho Bikexploitation Tour encompasses the western United States in October and November. If you are (or know of) fun-loving, sexy bikers in any of these cities we are excited to meat you!

• 10/6 Boise @ The Red Room
  
• 10/7 Pocatello
• 10/9-10 Salt Lake City @
  
• 10/15 Boulder
• 10/16 Ft Collins
• 10/18 Denver at Orange Cat Studios
  
• 10/20 Grand Junction
  
• 10/21 Moab
  
• 10/23-26 Durango
• 10/27 Albuquerque
• 10/29 Houston
  
• 10/31 Austin
• 11/4 Marfa
• 11/5 Bisbee
  
• 11/6-9 Tucson
  
• 11/11-15 Tempe
  
• 11/16 San Diego
• 11/20 Los Angeles
• 11/22 Santa Cruz
• 11/28 San Francisco
• 11/29 Oakland
• 12/1 Davis
• 12/5 Corvallis/Eugene homecoming show
  

All dates are subject to change without warning. Although we think this constitutes a warning, so there.

Bringing bike porn home

The message is loud and clear: the family that creatively expresses themselves together has babies with dangerously oversized genitalia.

Congratulations to C-SAW who made this wonderfully disturbing work of art for our recent bike porn collage off. For his contribution to the cause of safe family cycling this one-a-kind piece will be made available at the next screening.

Thursday, October 2nd
Hollywood Theater
4122 NE Sandy Blvd

Where we will show not just one program of sexy bike action, but two! For the first time ever in Portland both The Pornography of the Bicycle and Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation will play back to back!

Get your tickets now at: http://www.filmaction.org/engaging/
(online ticket sales... another first for Bike Porn Industries.)

Apologies to everyone who was expecting us to come up with a clever way of saying "bike porn has got HollyWOOD". Pictures, submissions and other "good" ideas are welcome at bikesmut@gmail.com

Halfway there!

The Cascadian Bikexploitation tour has been rolling strong!
In Bellingham we had 2 near sellout shows even though Western Washington was on break (when do colleges start their session anyway?).   In Seattle the rain would try and dampen us but we were already wet. Such adversities were no match for sexy bikers and the publics demand for origional programming. Crotchs with and without bikeshorts were ungulating on the side  40 ft brick building.  A standing room only show on the inside at the The Mix Lounge + projecting AND both programs back2back on the building across the street left the citizens of Georgetown pleasantly startled. We hope similar exitment on Monday in Olympia as we bring Bike Porn to the historic Capitol Theater for the 1st time ever. 
How will Washington's State Capitol respond? 

9/22/2008
Screening @ 9:00 pm 
Capitol Theater

206 5th Ave

Reigning in Seattle

Concerns of inhospitable weather for an outdoor screening were verified in spades this early morning. The Cascadian Bikexploitation Tour is resiliant, creative and most importantly of all, lucky. A kickass gallery just 2 blocks from the outdoor space away from the flooded backyard.

The Pornography of the Bicycle
and
Bike Porn 2: Bikexploitation

Saturday, September 20th
The Mix Lounge (aka Christoff Gallery)
6004 12th Ave S #17
Seattle, WA 98108
www.christoffgallery.com
8pm

TONIGHT!

Thanks to the great folks of the FBK who reluctantly gave up their hosting rights so we could be dry.