One down, and still 3 to go?

We had a fun night sharing our unique material, or more accurately, we looked at sexy biker's tits and cocks and were happy. With the encouragement of Sarah from Babeland we hosted a Sex Positive Game Show, which included a brutally competitive 10 second orgasm contest. We did the WNBR Reenactment with our Naked Justice Players:

• Fuzz Beast portrayed Off Duty officer (naked biker assaulter) Chad Stensgaard
• Shawn Furst as the Coked-out pissed-off SUV driving debutant, Amanda Truscott
• A hairy Franz played the naked and vulnerable road user, Rev. Phil Sano

Although the show's attendance was under my expectations, the two hundred screaming bikers seemed to enjoy themselves.

Thanks to the sponsors (including the generous guy who give up some 2008 Sprockettes calendars) our raffle made $200 for the Bike Oven. (btw it is amazing to see how much they have grown in only a year.)


More exciting news: Bike Porn has a new sponsor. Our smutty underground friends over at Last Gasp Publishing have agreed to provide some of their finest goods for our San Francisco audience.

Now we are on our way to spooge over Davis, San Francisco and Cottage Grove.

That's right I said Davis (as in the town outside Sacramento). Pasture Ted has requested a screening for the other most bike friendly city in the United States. Who am I to turn down another man of the cloth... although I'm guessing mine is a little more crusty.

I'll be on their VELOlution radio show this Monday Jan 31st @ 5:15pm Listen to KDVS radio live by clicking here

I hope I can follow their dogma:

Bike Church Ten Commandments

1. Thou shalt not throw away a bike
   

2. Thou shalt not use a bike's name in vain
   

3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's bike
   

4. Thou shalt not use an internal combustion engine when it is not necessary
   

5. Honor thy tricycle, thy bicycle & thy unicycle
   

6. Take the oil of the earth and anoint thy bike
   

7. Love thy bike as thy self
   

8. Thou shalt not worship other idols (cars)
   

9. Attend church regularly and ride the last friday of every month in Critical Mass
   

10. Metal recycling will be the only means of reincarnation
    

11. Thou shalt leave the church as nice or nicer than it was found

Er... Maybe I will get to ask them about their creative mathematical skills.

Bike Porn @ the Vine

Its happening tonight in Los Angeles...

December 28th
8:30 pm @ The Vine Theater
6321 Hollywood Boulevard (@ Vine)

We have a game show, raffle with sweet prizes, a reenactment of the 2006 WNBR and that is all before the screening!

thanks to everyone who made this possible.

Countdown to Calipornification

I have abandoned my Portland bike mecca to take up arms (and legs) in the heart of car culture. Los Angeles! A fierce combination of cyclists are assisting me with the Bike Calipornification Tour.

We are hitting all the biggest, baddest, cycle-horniest places south of Portland on this tour: LA, SF, and CG*

One of the most exciting part for me is getting to meet some of the people who submitted videos. Both Paul de Carcass of the SFVISBF and Colin Arlen of Macaframa who co produced the San Francisco Track Bike video will get to see the entire program for the first time.

We are very thankful for our supporters who remind us that our bodies and our bikes need lots of love.

A variety of sponsors is helping to make this evening even more special... that is to say there is some cool stuff you might get just for showing up:

• A display of too sexy bicycles, Merry Saddles is strutting its stuff.
  
• One of the longest running, women operated sex stores in the country Good Vibrations is helping us shake it up in San Francisco.
  
• Ashira of Red Riding Hood Productions has some hats.
  
• Liz and Shay of C.I.C.L.E. are providing tshirts
  
• Babeland has recently opened a new store in LA and is pulling out all the stops!
  

UPDATE: OH CRAP! I ALMOST FORGOT

• Orange 20 bikes will support the cause with some of their fine wares
• Jen Diamond has stepped up to provide one of her handmade Jerseys

screenings in Santa Cruz? Dubious. In Davis, CA? Likely! Bike Porn Radio interview New Years Day @ 5:15 PM with Pastor Ted.

*CG... as in Cottage Grove, Oregon. Duh.

the big three down south: LA, SF and CG*

After 3 months and 100s of emails (really... hundreds of emails) we finally secured a venue in San Francisco.

The Roxie will host 2 screenings of bike porn on Thursday, January 3rd, 2008

This is in addition to the LA screening @ the Vine Theater on Friday, December 28th and the screening at Centro on January 5th in Cottage Grove, Oregon .

Finally we will see if Baghdad by the Bay can handle our Little Beirut filth.

*Little did you realize that Cottage Grove is a mecca for kickass perverts, but that's why you read this right?

more than just videos

Bike Porn has appeared in many flavors. At the Vine Theater in Los Angeles we are presenting one of my favorite. The wildly popular live action reenactment of the 2006 World Naked Bike Ride. Amanda Truscott will be there recreating her drugged out violent driving binge, we are still casting for the part of "naked victim of drunk-ass road roage." Also included are the naked "bikers" who continuously provide the backdrop for the mayhem.


Even more exciting is that Merry Saddles has agreed to display some of their fine wares. These ornate yet functional pieces may be available for sale to a loving home.

I would steal all her artwork for posting here but really you owe it to yourself to see it live @ the Vine Theater in Hollywood on December 28th.


doors open @ 8:30,
show starts @ 9pm

last time I was in LA I broke a vacuum. Things will probably not be any less crazy this time

Calipornificaion Tour: disfrute bici pornografía

Scheduling shows has been challenging. Even though I gave myself more than 2 months of lead time it seems that there is never enough preparation. Just this week a stunning blow came when I learned the venue I had hoped to use in SF could not fit in with our travel schedule, by one day!

oh the suffering.

That is why it feels so very good to have verbal confirmation of The Vine Theater in LA. We are still in negotiations but expect the screening to be on Friday, December 28th.

There are so many cool people in LA. If I had not gone there for Bikesummer I might not even believe how great they are.

Thanks to C.I.C.L.E. and Ashira for their support!

mixing modes

I suppose it is fair to say that I have tried a few things in my life. When speaking of experience I am generally in favor of walking at least around the block in someone else's shoes.*

I bring this upon myself. I am responsible for this. I asked, nay, pleaded** for more and more bike porn. Of any nature. Regardless of other considerations.

And yet, I cant shake the feeling of unease that comes with this.

Maybe if I was able to warm up first by watching a moped mount a motorcycle then it wouldn't seem so foreign... so taboo.***

It all just goes to show you that we all can take offense now and again. And that it is ok to have boundaries, and that when you find something that is a little... uh, creepy, that only means that we have some pretty fucked up childhood experiences we must work to ignore better.

With that I propose we go to the bar. In Portland, The Vern is still serving pints of Deadguy Ale for $2 every Tuesday. A couple of those really dulls the pain.

------------

*which makes me think that a great pickup line could be, "Nice shoes, wanna walk around the block?"

**More pleading is coming. Get your fresh ideas ready and make me blush.

*** This fan pic sent in by Lora of Seattle: http://picasaweb.google.com/lora.koenig/Bikes It is notable that she made sure the bicycle was topping the motorcycle. Regardless, I hope you all take this opportunity to report her for all that inappropriate content.

Domain Squatting my porn, wtf?

I want to own bikeporn.com, alas it is already taken.

Well I'm sure it is being put to good use. Let's check in with them to see what is up: "No web site is configured at this address."

Thanks, Ilan C. Paltrow of Charlotte, NC! Your contribution to the internerds is woefully under appreciated.

But what about some other URLs? like bikeporn.net? Coincidentally the Domain Squatter lives in my hometown (barely). Colin Mannex of 8315 sw 67th place Portland (aka Tigard), Oregon has nothing but annoying ads on his page.

Lee Levitt of Needham MA kinda sums up my feelings on the matter with his website Bikeporn.org: "Bike Porn..."

cause really what more is there to say?

---------

Wired Magazine gave some advice on how do deal with Domain Squatters. One method is to buy up every possible misspelling of your website.

http://www.selfseo.com/domain_typo_generator.php gives us:

Wrong key typos
* vike porn.
* nike porn. -------------->
* hike porn.
* gike porn.
* buke porn.
* bjke porn.
* bkke porn.
* boke porn.
* b9ke porn.
* b8ke porn.
* bije porn.
* bime porn.
* bile porn. (below)
* bioe porn.
* biie porn.
* bikw porn.
* biks porn.
* bikd porn.
* bikr porn.
* bik4 porn.
* bik3 porn.
* bike oorn.
* bike lorn.
* bike -orn.
* bike 0orn.
* bike pirn.
* bike pkrn.
* bike plrn.
* bike pprn.
* bike p0rn.
* bike p9rn.
* bike poen.
* bike podn.
* bike pofn.
* bike potn.
* bike po5n.
* bike po4n.
* bike porb.
* bike porm.
* bike porj.
* bike porh.


My confidence in the stupidity of the internet and all who dwell here is reaffirmed! If you want to be a millionare "bileporn.anything" are still available. Buy them all now!

Leave it to the professionals

I am back from an exciting tour of the Southwest. Thanks to the lovely people of Durango Colorado we enjoyed some movie priemeres, grass bike polo, death defying mt biking, hordes of beer, wine (like 20 cases)... I won the a sweet DFL prize for actually completing the race, and as of yet no one killed dabby... yet. Check some pictures at the Team WRECK blog

I returned home from my travels to find that a Scottish man was caught fucking his bicycle in a hotel room was found guilty and now is a registered sex offender.

This is the kind of news story that forces us to take a step back and ponder the future of bike humping.

Do the health benefits of an active bikesexual lifestyle make up for the potential danger and embarrassment of being caught in the act? Imagine having to go around to all the houses in your neighborhood saying, "Hi. I am a sexual predator. I was caught humping a bicycle, so you should probably not leave your pretty young Bianchi laying around on your front yard... for it's safety."

Perhaps we should organize a fundraiser for this poor, misunderstood, oversexed person. He may represent a desire that most of us are too fearful to admit or explore. But what is the appropriate response?

• A bicycle kiss-in outside the jailhouse
• A series of signed pictures of bikes with genitalia sent to the hotel
• A sicker campaign like: "I fuck bikes and I vote" or "Robert Stewart does it between the tubes"
• A new nonprofit formed to maintain the right of sentient beings to be able to fuck any inanimate object they desire

Perhaps the best course of action would be to make an instructional brochure with some guidelines to help future Robert Stewarts avoid being caught?

• Do not trust a lock that you do not have the only key to.
• Consider moving large physical barriers to prevent access.
• When a maid asks if anyone is in the room, yell "Go away!"

Perhaps the only truly safe bet is to make it official and marry your bike. Be sure to have paperwork on hand, or stuff it into the seat tube, although you might want to laminate it first.


Which places are appropriate and which are deviant?

California, we are coming for you!

Who Put the Porn in California?

You did! Just like with Ed McMahon's sweepstakes you may already be a winner of bike porn at a theater near you.

At the moment our offices are working overtime to schedule a California tour of The Pornography of the Bicycle. Do you know venue that should to host it?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you envision yourself flying down a hill, carving up scenery?
• Do you feel attacked by others due to your "perverted" biking behavior?
• Do you yearn to hold a smooth, tapered steel seat tube?
• Do you wake up with a hole in your heart the size of a bottom bracket?

Than you are an ideal candidate to help make Bike Porn a reality in California.

The tour spans 2 weeks from approx December 23rd to Jan 6th

Do you have what it takes? email our offices today!

revphil [at] gmail [dawt] com

If you are still not convinced try watching our trailer for the last Bike Porn Tour

Snorting condoms at Bike Porn Portland

Thanks Will Workforf Ood and all the clowns who made it such a special evening

Local Blogger writes story about blog

I suppose it doesnt get better than this:

http://bikeportland.org/2007/09/19/local-filmmaker-takes-bike-porn-on-the-road/
I particularly enjoy this nuggget from the article:

You might be familiar with the term “bike porn” — it’s become a sort of slang for photos of gorgeous bikes — but trust me, this is something completely different.

HA! Take that all you old school bike pornographers. Your high detail shot of a 1900s lugged track frame with wood spokes is in yesterday's jizz bucket. (although I'd love a picture of this)

Presently there is more "bike porn" out there than I can wade though with a T1 connection and a bucket of tri-flo. Still, I get to imagine the day that I can hire Jonathan away to write all this crapulence for me.

Search for "johathan maus naked" on google. Its fun!

Thanks for the Mammaries

In the streets of Portland, Seattle, Bellingham and Vancouver BC they cry for more!

Every show a rousing success. Bodies packed in tightly to accommodate the hoards of eyes hungry for flesh and steel. A stranger's lap becomes necessary seating, the floor already a jumble of limbs.

Once thing that can be taken from this outpouring of support for bicycle pornography is, yalls are some deviant fucking cyclists and the demand for more bicycle porn is far from quenched (if there is such a thing)

Thanks to Jonathan for supplying images from our evening in EastVan, as well as all the performers, Leanne and her bike strip and receiving the Olympic rings as Vancouverella, Mykle's anti-erotic reading, Adrian getting Voodoo donuts stuffed down her gullet as Portlandia, GirlShawn for rubbing her uniboob in time, Ifny, Jasun and Cara for working the space and time from back to front, the Creaking Planks for the melodies, and the massive number of sexy cyclists form whom work so hard to keep happy and horny (or any of the interestingly awkward number of places between)

Thank you Cascadia for all you have done to make this possible. Perhaps I will return in 2008 with more...

Enjoy Calipornication

It appears that once again, this holiday season Shawn and I will find ourselves traversing the majesty that is California. Of course, this time we wont be showing Bike Love2: Outta PDX.

The dates are a little fuzzy still, but I believe that we will drive (eep!) straight down to LA, then take our time coming back to Portland screening it along the way... kinda like stopping to hump the flowers.

You could help bring Bike Porn to your home! Contact me and tell me you are a dirty Californian (or Southern Oregon) biker in need of release.

meanwhile enjoy some almost not quite porn that is not at all bike related but is on theme, kinda.

a somber evening of porking vancooter

The tour arrived, albeit a couple bikers short. I was nearly denied entry to canada because i told them i was a bike pornographer. maybe not the wisest choice but i had been saying it for so long... i thought i might make her smile.

she told me if i was working i had to spend 2 months filling out forms and sending letters to get permission to work in canada, because i could be depriving another citizen of being a bicycle pornogpher.

it was nerve racking, but we are here and we are excited.

tonight is the final night of our Cascadian Bike Porn Tour.

FRI SEPT 21 2007

--> The Pornography of the Bicycle ~ 7:30pm
WISE Hall, 1882 Adanac (at Victoria)
Tickets $5-10 sliding scale. Licensed.
Lingerie encouraged.

A night of sexxxy bike movies, pagentry, tassles, & two-wheeled foreplay. Emcees: Reverend Phil of the Portland and Ifny, Pedal Revolutionary. Witness the Bike Striptease! Also appearing: King Codpiece, holy relics and the Creaking Planks, rendering tunes of the boudoir helpless and quivering. Afterglow tunes by Tom Cunningham IV and the Americans. Beer & swag sold to all comers. Portlandia cometh! Vancouverella awaiteth!

--> Naughty Negligee Night Ride ~ 11:00ish
Departing from the W.I.S.E. Hall
FREE!
In the tradition of the Great Nekkid Bike Ride, doff your threads and head out into the night. See-though polyester, sequins, bits of fluff, tiaras and tootsie rolls, bring out your naughty bits and ride Vancouver en sassy masse! Raincoat check available. Clothing/Lingerie optional.

packing Bellingham full... TWICE!

http://www.pdxk.com/images/carrassing-bikes.jpg

what is a fiasco?

is it a disaster that goes good? I think i can recount it

* bike porn lost in Arlington
* 3 bike porn tourists show up and throw down and realize we didn't bring it
* bike porn found at the absurdly nicest peoples home in all cascadia
* Woody and Coco, our Couchserfer hookup drive fast to the goods
* the pickford cinema hosts TWO over-capacity screenings at 90+ people each
(one theat to call the fire department was taken care of as we found legal room for all the people)
* the porn crew stubles out into the late night Cornwall action
* some street heckling/bike porn lyrics to tubby drunk gangsta yelling at a girl "hey bitch where you going"
* he steps to the bike porn
* he gets clowned
* his friends show up
* i have to bob and weave to avoid getting creamed by HUGE mofos in more chains that a prison guard and too sober for my comfort
* situation difused eventually
* my glasses found
* bikers roll away
* a meth head walking down the middle of the street wearing all black gets warned
* Tackler lets her have it (totally an accident)
* Lauren is embarrased/tramatized/crying, meth head is screaming in "pain"
* methhead demands to have the ambulence called, then passes her pipe to laruen to dispose of
* more drunk ganstas drive up we direct them to the open lane without people laying in the street
* they slow down... then gun it into a our host, the Worms' Shawn's bike, which his my baby, Duff#Five.
* the firedept and police show up and assess
* we roll on, lick our wounds and harass Yellow Brake Maitland's sister and husband who live in town.

and now it starts raining... perfect time to go ride out bikes to annother country

and that's where we are at. if someone has a more detailed review (maybe more about the porn, just email me revphil*AT*gmail*COM

uh seattle, you got a little something hanging off your chin

Seattle received a face full of bike porn on Monday night and they handled it brilliantly. People were packed into every nook and cranny. Just as I would have them sexy bikers.

They laughed, they cried, and when they were done Seattle was not the same city it was before.

Big thanks to the people working (mostly) behind the scene who have chosen to remain anonymous. Also the CHAC, which is totally sweet place.

Tomorrow (actually only 19 hours from now) we will have biked to Bellingham from the deep northern seattle burbs (this pimp palace that lauren found on couchsurfer.com (i think)

2 (two) screenings at the pickford.

BLAMMO! PORN!

We are here in Seattle about to screen the show. we have some special presents and fun things.

Oly didnt happen maybe another day. sniff

I guess its time to get fucked

"historic" bike porn

Being the most notorious bicycle pornographer in Biketown, USA means you get lots of crapphy email.


BUT NOT THIS ONE! It is good email, with links to a bike porn video, that i'd like to share with yalls cause it is already online and who am i to tell people not to share bikes and boobs online. (plus I dont feel like trying to "empty the pool" if ya know what i mean.

Earlier this month a fine fellow comes up to me after the Cyclecide performance in Seattle and tries to show me with a video. I can t see it, so we share paper. Just a couple days ago i found the paper and emailed him. The result is good old fashioned homemade biker pron from the deadbaby downhill in august from this year

So the total result is, video shot in seattle, found a month latter in seattle and now blogging about it in seattle.

You would think i like this place or something.

We are about to screen The Pornography of the Bicycle for the first time in Washington in an hour, the deadbabies are bringing the sexercycle and I think there is a compitition for who can give the best ride.


There may be a second screening if the first explodes with huppy goodness.

The Bike Porn Conspiracy of Olympia

Most of my friends seem to be into conspiracy theories. It could be a result of a history drug use or it may be that they are the only ones paying attention, or both.

Regardless, I dont normally pay them much heed. But the saga of Olympia has caused me more fits than a tailor before a big gay wedding.

The venues:

• Capital Theater
  
• Manium Collective
• Le Voyeur
• The Mark Olympia
• The Black Front Gallery
• The Red Room
• Midnight Sun
• Brotherhood Lounge
• Evergreen State College
• Puget Sound Community College

With all these venues (and a few others I can't remember) we have not been able to secure a location in Olympia despide have ex locals help me out. sigh. perhaps we will just broadcast it against the side of the building.

Speaking of Manium, they have been writing me about how the city has been treating them unfairly. Sending Police around to remind them that they are not legaly able to have shows? Sounds silly (if not unconstutional) to me. There was a mess of other points they bring up in an email I got from the Manium folks saying that the City of Olympia has:

• continually miscalculated their occupancy. At one point the city said Manium's occupancy was 12.
• demanded Manium rebuild the stage so large that it took up 75% of the room.
• done a bunch of other crap that I dont want to get into.
  

I myself have seen in Portland a similar process whereby the Govenment uses Fire Code to try and squash upstart business. But that is my own conspiracy theory.

Ride of the Cascadians

So I am showing some porn. you may already know that (i hope). But I am also joining a bike tour North to Vanocuver BC. That means riding our bikes from 100s of miles into the wind (likely).

It is absurd and wonderful and so are the people coming with me. For example, one of our members is riding his tall bike on the tour. His reasoning: "It is my only bike with gears"

aint that cute? totally practical.

naturally there is another blog for the riding with lots more info for you to enjoy: http://pdx2van.blogspot.com/

If it peels good, do it

We talk about humping bikes, so why am I taking exception to this? I know that people are eager to find more porn in their daily lives, but really now.

I suppose I shouldn't be to demeaning, after all once a person has made the leap from flesh'n'bone to fabricated object where does it end?

Well if you were ever interested in using this device for anything other than its origional intended purpose than you probably would want to fill in those holes. Something the readers of this blog are probably capable of doing.

the FAQ is awesome as well:

Q: "How long do the hinges last?"

A: The hinges on the Banana Guard are called "active hinges". In the plastics world this means that the plastic molecules are specially aligned to provide for maximum strength in the thinnest form. As long as the hinges are not twisted they will not break with regular opening and closing.

Q: "You don't have an outlet where I live. How can I get a Banana Guard?"

A: We deliver worldwide.

Q: "Is there a battery attachment?"

A: No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport.

http://thegoat.backcountry.com/blog/2007/09/07/banana-guard/

Bellingham Take Two... Loads of Porn

The Pickford Cinema just contacted me with exciting news. Due to popular demand they have requested a 2nd screening of Bike Porn.

So while I cant even get a response from folks in Olympia (yet), Bellingham is gobbling up the porn like a greedy lonely adolecent teen who just learned about the Internet. NOTE: for the record I am not pleased with this comparison. If you have a more appropriate analogy please let me know.


Couple this with the team of Canadians who are coming down to meet our tour in Bellingham and we have the makings for some hella. I don't know what kinda of hella, but it will be hella nonetheless.

East Van, Porn Commeth!

BIKE PORN IN VAN COU VER! mucho thanko to Ifny for setting it up.

We now have a date, time AND a location.

• Friday, September 21st, 2007
• The Wise Hall, 1882 Adanac
• http://www.wisehall.ca/

Stoic and respectable on the outside, and on the inside as well... for now. That all will change in just a week and a day.

We are working on a full schedule including an auction of some bike porn memorabilia and a live reenactment of the events leading up to my arrest during the 2006 World Naked Bike Ride.

We did this once before in Portland to a standing ovation (mostly due to the inspiring (maybe terrifying?) interpretations of perpetual cokehead/community college enrollee Amanda Trucsott and 0ff-duty bully Chad Stensgaard. DUDE! how bizzare is it that a google search for officer Chad Stensgaard links to ichatgay.com






Perhaps there is no coincidence at all...

Anyway, expect hordes of people frolicking, no arrests and who knows what other kinda mischief might happen later

Bumbershoot my pants off!

i heart Seattle, and its not cause anything here is all that great, but damn i got some nice fucking friends up in this jam.

Bumbershoot is the most commercial thing i have been to since... uh Disnyland (circa 1996?). But luckily a bunch of dirty bikers (myself and many fine Deadbabies) along with the Cyclecide Bike Rodeo from SF we have made folks scream with delight. They even got on the cover of Seattle's daily.

Everyone seems to know about Bike Porn already. Will The Trucks perform in Bellingham? Will there be a second screening in Seattle? Will we even find a venue in Olympia?

so many questions, so little pork.

it's dirty and sweet and good nuf to eat

Finally it is here, the video youtube didn't want you to see.

increase the pressure

Banned in most wholesome god-fearing communities but not in the open waters of the internet!

Remember this is just a taste, but yeah... it tastes that good. Dont forget my warning, i am activly working at offending you. That may prove to be more difficult than I can accomplish, but I'll try just the same.

Nickey Robo does a pretty good job providing that taste, and maybe even delivering a lump into the back of your throat.

Props to Dan Kaufman of Crank My Chain. Without his technological assistance and cheap wine I don't think we would have made it.

Dont let the public lashing get you down

WARNING: This posting has almost nothing to do with bikes at all

Zahra Amir Ebrahimi is an Iranian actress who has been seriously fucked over (either figuratively or figuratively and literally).

So lets say it was actually her in the sex video... and for the sake of argument let us even say that it is a great offense to Allah, that it shakes the moral fiber of all good, humble monotheistic men who watch it. First off, this should be really awesome porn! (as defined by me, good porn is like a good car crash: you dont want to watch, but you can't turn away)

I'm pissed that unlike Paris Hilton Ebrahimi's acting career may have been ruined by porn, but it's kinda nice to know that for all the media/government's attempts to show the video blurred out, that people are still sharing it online.

Tehran’s chief prosecutor, Saeed Mortazavi, wants death sentences for those convicted of circulating such pornography. According to the legal code, sex between two unmarried people carries punishment of up to 99 lashes.

This all sucks for Ebrahimi, but at least the ex-boyfriend (who I expected would only get a slap on the wrist) has been extradited and faces years in prison and fines. That makes me very happy. Fuck slimy dudes with cameras. They make my job suck.

This pornographer is left wondering:

• Will she someday be thought of as a sexual liberator?
  
• Will someone be video taping the public lashings?
• Could an Asia Minor Bike Tour be far behind?

Clearly she should have just humped that 2 wheeled stud instead.

The trailer that (almost) shook the bearings

I am pleased unable to present the new hotness, a trailer of The Pornography of the Bicycle program by Nickey Robo. She has the honor of being the first video in the series. "Semiotics of the Bicycle"


VIDEO ALREADY PULLED DOWN BY THE EASILY OFFENDED YOUTUBE FOLKS

Perhaps the internertastic Dan Kaufman of Crank My Chain will provide some technical expertise so that our totally mature audience can enjoy Miss Robo's work.

I hear there is a porntube that is kinda like youtube only it is totally commerical and really, not all that different from the other 90% of the internet.

Humping the Emerald City

Massive props to our organizers of the screening on September 17th in Seattle. Not only have they arranged to host Bike Porn at the CHAC (scroll down to the date), but they also have made up this sweet poster!

damn that is one hot ride.

Monday, September 17
Doors: 6:30pm
Start: 7:30pm
CHAC Lower Level
1621 - 12th Ave. Seattle. DOWN THE RAMP!
Tickets: $5 at the door

it makes the kids go crazy

What is this fascination? Is it the blending of mobility and sensuality? Is it freedom? Independence? Hornyness?

Whatever the cause, bike porn has griped the consciousness of the citizens of Portland, Oregon. These are a people now obsessed. These are people who are determined to travel under their own power, people who are determined to liberate their bodies, people who cross lines ass-first dancing backwards with their pants around their ankles.

It is coming to you sooner than you realize. You can't prevent it. Go about your business.

2 down, 2 to go

We have nearly secured the location of all the theaters on this tour

In Seattle, Leslie and Jryde have arranged for it to show at the Capital Hill Arts Center.
In Bellingham we will play it at the Pickford Theater.

Still waiting on Olympia and Vancouver B.C.