The Alpha and Omega of Porn

This is the end of bikesexual times. For the lord did say unto me, take heed, for I am the alpha and omega, the semination and termination of porn.

Bless the beasts and the bicycles; keep the Sabbath wholey

Saturday, May 7
Church of Fun
4109 Melrose Ave
Double Screenings: 8pm and 1130pm
$7-10 NOTAFLOF
musical interludes by Kick a 10-Year Old In the Head
illustration by Remi Mac


THIS WAS POSTED TO A BLOG WITHOUT PERMISSION SO WE ARE REPOSTING IT HERE BECAUSE WE LIKED IT BUT ALSO COULDN'T PERMIT ITS EXISTENCE (ITS HARD OUT THERE FOR A BIKE PORNOGRAPHER)

Saturday night, May 7th, erotic film festival Bike Smut will be celebrating their 9th and final year in Los Angeles. This is a one night only event not to be missed. 

“I’ve helped curate these events in LA with Phil for the past 6 or 7 years,” said local organizer Donnie Pepper. “So I will be doing my best to make this the most memorable evening that we’ve done together yet.” 

The theme for this year is Science Friction. The erotic films by inspired cyclists feature time traveling sex missionaries, queer trans babes armed with dildo flamethrowers, and interracial alien orgies. There will be a live band and performances after the screenings. 

“The only way to see the Bike Smut film festival is when it plays for a live audience,” said organizer Rev. Phil. “The various artists’ interpretations about what is great about sex and cycling are creative, clever, funny, and aware! Bike Smut has never been just a single person’s vision, rather, a coalition of the horny bring this synthesis of transportation and sexuality to life.” 

Previous contributors include Gus Van Sant, Courtney Trouble and Tinto Brass. 
The fun rolls into gear 9:00 P.M at the Church of Fun on 4109 Melrose. 
For details, trailers, and tour dates, go to http://bikeporntour.blogspot.com

Read more at: http://emmnetwork.net/bike-smut-erotic-film-festival-takes-final-ride-in-la/ 
 

Come Again in Your Bay Area!

From the South Bay to the East Bay to the (they never call it) West Bay, Bike Smut is involved in a serious Bay Area Reach Around!

We are jumping head first into the densely populated, surprisingly shallow waters!

pooping floatation devices is prohibited

OAKLAND    -   FaceCrack Link

Saturday February 28

Omni - 4799 Shattuck Ave.

• doors at 8:30pm

• show at 9:00pm

 

SAN FRANCISCO  -   FaceCrack Link

Tuesday, March 3rd

Balançoire - 2565 Mission St, 

• doors at 6:30pm

• show at 6:45pm

ADULTS ONLY  

No lifeguard on duty.

 

 

Reaching Around the Cuntinent

Mexico, Mexicali, Calixo, California, Uber Allies?

We are back in the US!

After being treated to some of Mexico's finest flavors and a fuck load of new porn we are recharged to bring some great new cycloerotismo to the rest of North America!

Here is what we have planned for the next few months:

UPDATE: A secret screening and erotic book reading event is happening Thursday night!

This weekend we enjoyed a desert full of crazed bike fucks, next week we are slappin mallets with San Jose's finest bike jocks! (And their jock straps!) Afterthat we will retake the rest of The Bay. Working with our friends using direct democracy on the front lines fighting social injustice in Oakland and also friends using karaoke to bring out the silly drunks in SF.

In March we will end our 5 year hiatus of Las Vegas. It is a painful place to experience and even more difficult to live there (which explains the prevalence of cheep booze). But we go back and plan to dominate The Strip as well as the hordes of mindless consumers who will flock to our liberating loins like so many moths' mouths to our glowing bicycle fleshlights!

We celebrate EPIC PI DAY (3.14.15 @ 9:26.53PM MST) with those wild Tucson queers at CYBERSPUNK an erotic book club art show.

Then we blast up and over the East Coast, starting with Jacksonville then bouncing over to St Augustine (our first time ever) then working our way north to Montreal then west back to Cascadia... with stops in St Louis and Memphis.
 Lots of great shows and epic opportunities for the good touch... common, Hand Of God, give us that holey reach around!

Wanna feel the grace? Contact bikesmut@gmail.com for booking!

Exxxtra Curricular California Porno!

Bike Smut is touring down the west coast by bicycle. As such we get to have some pretty curious adventures and meet lots of colorful characters.

We also get to show porn is some pretty odd places...

TONIGHT in San Luis Obispo (or SLO)
Bike Smut selected cuts! 8 years of whatever we want!
Perfect Vision
2020 Ruth St
7:30 pm
Donations

Wake up you bastion of conservative fuddyduddies! We got the hot bikesexul action coming at ya!

Los Fuckin Angles

Bike Touring is great. We are riding south along the west coast! It great to be on the road again and now with a fabulous new tourista!



It gives time to ponder some of the great questions of our time, for example:

QUESTION: "How many LA bikesexuals can dance on the head tube?"
QUESTION: "When can I watch a screening of erotic bike films?"
QUESTION: "Where did you get that 'My other car is a tiny penis' sticker?"

Thankfully these questions have answers, which we are prepared to offer below:

October 24th
Church of Fun

410X Melrose Ave

FB invite

ANSWER: EVERY LA BIKESEXUAL DANCES ON HEAD TUBES!

Extra Bay Area Action!

We are having a hoot at El Rio!

But the bikesexual train doesn't stop rolling just cause we are in the most densely populated city on the west coast.

We got 3 more shows for ya!

Wednesday in Oakland!

Feelmore 510, 1703 Telegraph Ave, 9pm

Thursday in Emeryville!

GUAVA, 4210 Holden St, 8pm

Saturday in San Jose! 

Back Bar  21 N. 3rd St

Eureka! The Porn is between our legs!

For the first time in two years Bike Smut is going back to California!
We have several shows planned but please contact us to help us set up more!

First stop, NorCal!
Sunday, September 21
The Ink Annex
47 B West 3rd St, E
7pm, $5-10 
Eureka

Live musical performance by Mad River Rounders
Q & A post screening for you brainy types.

Get yr FB on https://www.facebook.com/events/631555846943688/

SF is booked! Can we get any more shows in the middle? Contact bikesmut@gmail.com and let us know you deserve good sex and transportation!

Come Find Me - World Premiere!

Soon we will break a mold we have used without failure for seven years. Seven years of only live sharing our of movies. No DVD sales. No online distribution. We didn't even allow ourselves to trust any members of media.

But now something has changed. We have made excellent connections with radical allies that have helped us do this right. We are offing a DVD and folks are taking notice!

Jerome Stuart Nichols' review was dripping with earnest appreciation:

There’s something incredibly sexy about a woman who knows what she wants and fucks it. You can tell by the look in Poppy’s eye that she knows what she wants: to fuck Gasper Johnson and cum, a lot.

I always love having sex where laughter’s involved, it means that I’m relaxed. Throughout “Come Find Me" Poppy is running back and forth between excited squeals, guttural moaning and this really fucking adorable giggling.  My favorite scene is the orgasmic face riding scene at the very end. Poppy has a crazy strong orgasm and she’s practically seizing on Gasper’s face, which is completely engulfed in her vulva. The whole time she’s cuming, her face is cycling through this crazed collections of expressions. It’s all very lusty, hedonistic and hard-on inducing. Me gusta. 

Thanks for noticing, Poppy does pride herself on her joy of orgasms. Which she frequently will remind those luck to be around her about.

We were also thrilled that the Caitlin Donohue of the SF Bay Guardian also decided to express her joy for the new bikesexual feature:

Come Find Me, with its darling-dark plotline and focus on female orgasm (not to mention use of tire tubes as BDSM tool) will certainly fan the flames for lovers of hot feminist porno. 

The world premiere is tomorrow. With live performances and rad politics we expect our final event in The Bay to burn the patriarchal pants down!

Come Find Me

Saturday, June 1st
Center for Sex and Culture  1349 Mission Street
8 - 10 pm,

 Adults only

Your tickets are available now. Join us!

Hell is Frozen - Bike Smut made a DVD

7 years and we have never sold a single DVD. We also never sent out copies to the media. We kept the content and filmmakers safe. If Bike Smut is making a DVD that has all changed! Have the vanguards of ethical porn and radical distribution have fallen? What hath the we wrought?!? Surely a bikesexual hell has frozen over!!

 

Whoa... easy there mr/s judgey-pants. We will address your legitimate concerns about this new limited edition DVD. But you do have reason for excitement. Come Find Me is a Heterosexual-focused, Feminist Porn Collaboration between famed queer porn director, Courtney Trouble and Bike Smut!

"Come Find Me" World Premiere

Exclusive screening and release party info
Saturday, June 1st
Center for Sex and Culture 
1349 Mission Street
8 - 10 pm, $6 get yr presale now!
Adults only
FB event page







You now may watch, for the first time ever, a Bike Smut DVD in the privacy of your home.  WTF?!?

You may be asking yourself, what has happened to your favorite touring festival of erotic bicycle movies? Have they lost their sense of pride? Their decency? Their street cred? Their local credit union?!?

To which we offer a hearty guffaw.  You can't loose something you never had. Decency indeed... Indecency in deed...? No we are not suffering from a financial crisis (any more than normal); we haven't been duped into selling out to some nasty, cheesy, hairy Italian-American porn director (in fact, we hired him as our male lead so that we could turn the tables on male gaze);  and we will still be touring all over in the coming year. We maintain our pledge to protect our filmmaker's anonymity while doing the hard work of creating safe spaces for engaging ethical pornographic content.

We have not cast aside our beliefs on distribution and the importance of bringing communities together to observe and define obscenity FOR THEMSELVES.

What we have done is partner with the world's greatest riot grrl turned independent queer porn star/director: Courtney Trouble! The self made fem has a list of accomplishments as long as our rim and has helped us make a stunningly good feature length porn.




 We won't lie. This DVD is packed full of the hottest bikesexuals you will ever see.

The film will be released as a limited edition of only 300 professional-grade DVDs with handmade packaging, available for purchase on tour with Bike Smut, or online at TROUBLEfilms.Com.

With an adorable, romantic, and kinky storyline, Come Find Me is a bikesexual's dream. This heterosexual porn incorporates a female point of view, kink and expressed consent, authentic sex, and a personality-driven storyline.

Gasper sends his girlfriend Poppy on a bike-powered scavenger hunt ending at an empty house with a gorgeous man ready to ravage her inside out. He binds her with bike tubes, spanks her, and taunts her until she's too wet to stand - and then with an HD cam in hand, Poppy (and award-winning director Courtney Trouble) document an afternoon full of lustful oral sex, fingering, and finally - some deep, desperate, hard core fucking that makes both of them come hard - at last!

A true collaboration, with a narrative shot by Bike Smut real-life couple Poppy Cox and Gasper Johnson  and a gorgeous, high definition, high art sex scene of the two of them.

Courtney Trouble and Bike Smut have created a straight porn flick that stands out from the rest. Challenging the formulaic male gaze of mainstream heterosexual pornography, Come Find Me is a fine example of Feminist Porn, a hot topic in both the adult industry and feminist circles in 2013. Come Find Me features spoken and visual consent patterns, focus on female pleasure, and an altruistic approach to character development that allows you to fall in lust with the woman, and the man. It strays from the stereotypical "porn for women" trope by offering up hard core close ups, rough sex, and HD cinematography along-side it's romantic authenticity.

So what about distribution?  Well we can not tour to every place that demands Bike Smut. The logistics are impossible. We will continue to strive to provide the best bicycle erotica on earth, but now we have a really great movie that you should buy and share with your lover (or bicycle) immediately! Now we have a few new ways to share a totally legit porn that can serve as an introduction to so many of the ideas we have been promoting. Sex positive, expressed consent, creative passion, fucking bikes!

It's clearly a winner for all genders, couples, solo men, solo women, bisexuals, bikesexuals, kink lovers, amateur porn aficionados, and indie porn experts!

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Get your tickets now!

Thumpa Thumpa Thumpjuice!

So you like bikes, sex and movies depicting these things. You wanted to make a movie but you didn't and now you feel a certain tightness on your chest, like something deep inside you wants to be free. This is because you haven't been able to really get your emotions out! This is your chance to express your deepest, darkest feelings about bikes and sex.

Don't hold back the bike love, let it flow all over the radio!

   

This Friday night tune into Radio Valencia where we will be broadcasting bikesexual Transmissions from the Mission!

Friday May 24
8pm - 10pm
Online all the time at: radiovalencia.fm
Sometimes on 87.9FM when you're in SF near a repeater station.

The specific show is called "Thumpjuice;" they promise to have some hard hitting feminist/sociologists/smarty pants ready to whup on Bike Smut's mission and methods.
 
Explore DIY mayhem and trashpicked 45's from the safety of your home!

Podcast link post show (please wait at least 36 hours): http://radiovalencia.fm/podcasts/?show=busterandthumpershow

Turning our Final Trixxx in Oakland

UPDATE: ADDED BONUS!

We have just added Fucking Sculptures to our list of excellent sponsors. That means we some lucky audience member will walk away with a handcrafted sex toy from this excellent local business valued at more then $140!!

----------

Its always a little sad to close a chapter of Bike Smut. We travel 1000s of miles such amazing movies and we never want the joy to end! But just as every rose has its thorn, so too every bike tube deflates and every erection falls. But before letting those bike dicks go soft lets have a massive blow out!

Friday, May 17
Sudo Room
2141 Broadway
8:30,  $5-10 donation
adults only and you should all dress fabulous! 

Ya want a Facebook Invite



Please join us for this final screening of Turning Trixxx at our favorite new place in Oakland, the Sudo Room! We have been fans of hacker spaces since before the turn of the Millennium, when we cut our teeth getting goofy with the geek of Free Geek in Portland. Years later it is encouraging to hear how folks still recognize the `Geek as one of the earliest pioneers in community technology centers. The folks at Sudo Room have been hosting a plethora of exciting workshops and we are excited to pop their porno cherry! Sexual health is absoultly crucial and all too often overlooked.

After this final screening of Turning Trixxx we move onto our new program of erotic bike films, Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express. You still have time to make your own bikesexual fantasies come true!

Dick On A Bike

Is it getting hot in the streets or is it just me?



Exploding soon in an Oakland near you!

Oakland Extracurricular Bikesexuality

Our friends in Oakland are making rad things happen this weekend!

MacArtBlur

Friday, May 3rd 6-11pm
Saturday, May 4th 1-6
Flava' Packet - W. MacArthur @ Market - 2$ donation

Dozens of paintings by local artists adorn the gallery walls. Deeper into the complex, you will find more elaborate and hidden mysteries that obscure the normal conventions of the art world. How deep the rabbit hole goes is up to you. We welcome you to climb through the nest, ride a pedal powered ferris wheel, get lost in a cardboard cave, find yourself immersed in mind-bending soundscapes, meet and greet local inspirators, and express your ideas in the wishing well - a collective consciousness suggestion box. All these things and more will be happening at the Flava’ Packet during MacArtBlurr!

DIY Cloth Menstrual Pads Workshop

Saturday, May 4th, 2pm
Sudo Room - 
Come learn how to make beautiful and practical cloth pads out of old clothing! Materials will be provided, but if you want, you can bring old ripped-up clothing (preferably soft, natural fibers), needles, thread, snaps or buttons. This workshop is intended for people who menstruate and for people who have friends who menstruate (and want to make them lovely presents). We will also go over a dizzying array of cool lady products beyond the cloth pad, and have fun cost-comparisons of different options.


https://sudoroom.org/wiki/page/Hacking_Sexual_Health

Turning TriXXX Tonight in Davis!

Hey now, it's been a while. Spread the word Bike Smut is breaking out!

Tonight in Davis, California
The Domes
8:30
$5 - 10

Turning Trixxx in Davis

Bike Smut is not done Turning Trixxx!

We have just confirmed our next screening in Davis, California a famed place for being a gold/platinum bike town before it was no longer cool to care. Read about our previous exploits here.

When: Friday, April 19th

Where: Baggins End Domes Yurt

           On the corner of Orchard Park Drive and Orchard Rd

            Near the EC Garden - map

Doors: 8:30 p.m.

Show: 9:00 p.m.

Pump the tires; lube the chains! We got two wheels of pleasure without the pain!

Unless you are into that.

Is that a Santa Cruz missle in your pants or...

Holey hell! It's happening again! This time in the hippy refuge of Santa Cruz!

Bike Smut 6 in Santa Cruz
Sat. The 23rd
Bike church
703 pacific ave. (enter on spruce)
8pm, 18 +
$5-10 suggested donation
No drinking at venue



"Woohoo!" Said the local bikesexual when told about the upcoming show. And s/he was right to exclaim.

The Bikesexual Cheerleader goes "Ra Ra Raw"

The last time we brought a community of bikers and pervs together we had an amazing time thanks to the great folks at El Rio in San Francisco, the fabulous performances of Bianca Stone (video below) and the stellar audience! Among those in attendance that brisk Tuesday night included  famed queer porn stars Courtney Trouble, Jiz Lee, Maggie and Ned Mayhem, Siouxsie Q, and Scarlet Faux (shit we hope we aren't forgetting anyone)... WOW! What an amazing crew of radical sex workers. We are so thrilled to have met you and stoked you enjoyed our efforts! To inform/punish those who couldn't make it out / couldn't make it in we have a series of stills from the performance.

We expect more exciting collaborations to come from our Bay Area friends. This Spring a brilliant feature length hardcore bikesexual porn movie co produced by Trouble Films and Bike Smut will be released! Who knows what else these delightful folks will come up with?!?

OK, now its time for that treat you were promised

The greatest bikesexual cheerleader

(since Poppy Cox became the self appointed worlds greatest bikepolo cheerleader)

PART ONE - listen to her talk about bikes and sex

PART TWO - watch her fucking dance

Thanks Bianca! We hope you will delight us and our audience again soon!

Best Coast - er brakes!

We are back in LA in January, and we are excited to partake in old school hilly challenges!

Join us in the violent regression from a technological future!

Turning TriXXX in LA

Bike Smut is back on the West Coast!

We got a full weekend - 3 consecutive days of bike-sexual movies for you to chew on.

Friday Jan 18 

HIGHLAND PARK

The Bike Oven

3706 N. Figueora St

8pm , $5  

Saturday Jan 19

SILVER LAKE

Church of FUN

4109 melrose ave
6pm and 10pm, $5 presale, $10 day of show

Sunday Jan 20

LONG BEACH

We Labs

105 W Broadway

We are jumping into LA fast and we are getting out quick too. Dont hope you will see it somewhere else because these are the only three screenings in LA

Orgasm Trail's Southwestern Tip

Bike Smut returns to the southwestern tip of the continental United States... but you will get more than just the tip

 

Will this be our last show heading south? will we turn north to Santa Barbara, the Bay area and on to enjoy the lands of golashes and parkas in Cascadia?

Or will we continue for just a bit further, reaching down into the heart of frat boy overdosing and under-consensual sex of Tijuana?!?

only time will tell, but in the meantime, find us in San Diego

Tuesday Jan 17
Ruby Room
1271 University Ave
10pm, $5 suggested donation

with The Happy Smoke and Dick Justice