March 5, 2010

The blog post to prepare you for an important annoucemnt

This shit is big.

like someone had better fucking call Mario and Luigi big.

On Tuesday, March 9th we will release the new Bike Porn 3 Trailer.

Yes, we understand you are possibly overwhelmed at the notion. For the past 3 years we have only had one promotional trailer for each program of independently made erotic bicycle movies. But before you decide that this shit is too big to handle forcing you to abandon your home in a panic you should instead on hold on for another quick minute cause there is more important info yet to come. First we apologize for squatting on it for so long. (long time readers will note how we despise that behavior in others) We had plans to do lots of things with with this video. We wanted to chop it into smaller web sized chunks, possibly tease the audience for a while... but really it is so glorious it just needs to be seen by everyone who wont get fried for watching hot bike sex.

And actually some of you really SHOULD get fired for watching Bike Porn at work. Besides being hilarious you would might enjoy the new freedoms associated with having been "terminated for excessive bikesexuality at work" (because we all know excessive bikesexuality never inhibits performance).

Its important to note that because we don't have any DVDs out there (not only do we not sell DVDs but we also dont send screeners to theaters, meaning there are NO dvds out there). This is in order for us to:

A) protect the anonymity of the pornographers and
B) force the audience to engage BikePorn in a setting where they can talk to their peers and
C) meet sexy fucking bikers

But as if that is not exciting enough, not only will you get to see Miss Nicky Robo's how new queer eyed take on Bike Porn 3 Cycle Bound, but you will also learn: THE THEME AND DEADLINE FOR NEXT YEAR'S BIKE PORN!

Imagine! You! In your own porn! That you create! And is shared with 1000s of people in intimate screenings! And you never have to worry about it being online! So you are totally protected from your grandparents ever seeing it on youtube!

So many people have been talking about making Bike Porn for us, and of course we couldn't be happier. Its our charge to bring it to the vast horny bike audiences out there. And we do.

Now get out there and friggin flip your shit out!

TUESDAY! MARCH 9th!

CRAP!

photo credit to
http://www.maryrobinettekowal.com/2007/04/
http://cristianpenas.deviantart.com/art/The-Legend-of-Peach-87673694

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