March 1, 2010

How do deal with lame, would be venue types

This seems an all too common example of what our team has to go though to get people to think about screening bike porn

from an operative in Southern California:

I explained to him that it's a series of films rated from X to R to PG and that you're not in all of them (if any).

He then asked if there was homosexuality and I said, "Probably, but not every short's a collection from a bunch of people and the only thing in common is the theme bike porn. It's not just sex, it's more exploration and freedom. You heard of critical mass? [He hadn't] and I said, "1,000s of people naked on bikes, to be free, have fun? [Nothing from him]. Well, it's not all straight."

Ted: "Oh, I thought it was like a fetish film"

Me: "I guess, kind of, but not entirely..It's on its third year, but I'm not sure. It's not bad, it's fun, a good time with nudity."

Ted: "Is there going to be intercourse?"

Me: "Probably, but that's not the focus of it, well not the last bike porn tour. I watched close to 2 hours of it, it was good. Not all sex, but it'll be there."

Ted: "Oh, how are we going to make money? You understand my reservations, when you use the word "porn"..

Blah, blah, blah, whatever [more excuses about why he just got all sketchy over sex]...I lost interest at this point and just alpha stared him into what I hope was a calm submissive mindset. He was pretty amped up so I gave him the "it's no big deal we-don't-need-you-suckah secret vibe b/c if you're going to be an uptight muthereffin prick Phil won't want to share it with you and we don't need you...others in other cities wanted this show w/ a dash of we're all sitting at the cool kid cafeteria table and I'm about to exclude you permanently if you don't chill"
Kudos secret operative. Keep up the fight. Remember everyone, whether you are dealing with existing cinema or you are creating a theaters from scratch, its a pain. It takes longer than you expect, and some shit will go wrong. Thats why we have this helpful guide to hosting a Bike Porn screening.

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